I in no way own Ouran! AT ALL!
This is what happens when my best friend and I are discussing Ouran, and I say that Kyouya is basically the host club's pimp daddy and they're his whores.
--
"So if you look at it this way…" Haruhi said, "Kyouya-sempai has all of, or takes 'care' of all of the money the hosts make…right?"
The five other hosts, Kyouya included, looked at Haruhi oddly.
"Yeah, so?" they asked.
"So then…he'd be the pimp daddy of the host club." She finished.
At first nothing happened. I mean, it's Haruhi; she'd never say something like that.
But when they finally wrapped their head around what was said…
"Say WHAT?!"
Haruhi nodded, "And, if that were the case, we're his whores."
Tamaki turned dramatically toward Kyouya, "Mommy dear…you've been USING ME ALL THIS TIME?! I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING—"
"Shut up idiot. I am in no way a… 'pimp daddy', and you are in no way my whores."
Hikaru turned to Kaoru, "You can be my wh—"
"Shut up, Hikaru." The host club said.
Hikaru crossed his arms in defeat.
"And besides," Kyouya said, changing the subject, "I don't have 'pimp daddy' attire."
Hikaru uncrossed his arms, looked at Kaoru and smiled
Kyouya didn't know it then… but he was doomed.
--
The Next Day…
"Did you see Kyouya-sempai?"
"Yes, he's dressed like…a commoner…only worse!"
--
Kyouya entered the third music room.
"Irashaima—SAY WHAT?!"
The twins nodded to each other slowly and dramatically.
Haruhi started laughing hysterically.
Honey stared in awe.
Mori cracked a small smile.
And Tamaki burst into flames.
"IT BURNS!" he yelled.
"IT'S THAT DAMN SUNLIGHT!" Nekozawa yelled from his random door.
Tamaki then wasn't in flames, "No, it's Kyouya."
"Ah…"
…
"This is awkward."
Kyouya was dressed in purple clothing with pointy purple shoes. He also had a purple hat with leopard print and a feather.
Yes, fan girls, a feather!
"Shut. The hell up. You…you…"
"Light bulb?" Tamaki suggested.
Kyouya stroked his chin in thought, "No, not that…"
"Shaving cream?"
"No."
"Vic Mignogna?"
"No…"
Tamaki gasped dramatically, "RUN! HE'S THE MINISKIRT ARMY'S LEADER!"
He then squealed like a little girl.
"Shut up, Tamaki. And no, I am a proud member of the Rangers anyway. I meant to say: you IDIOT!"
Tamaki pointed to himself, "What did I do?"
"You were the fastest sperm, that's what!"
"Wha—"
"Kyouya-sempai, do you realize how well that image fits you? Like, really." Haruhi said.
"Haruhi… I'm only going to say this once."
"Yeah?"
"Stay on your side of the street, got it?"
The hosts excluding Kyouya all looked at Haruhi.
Haruhi looked like she wanted to just…do something illegible!
I mean, do something irrational…yeah…
"Are you calling me a whore?!" she demanded.
Kyouya smirked as he walked out of the music room, "That's what you said yesterday, right?"
Haruhi stared at Kyouya in disbelief.
"…Touché."
