Author's notes:

Where to begin…?

Ah! A disclaimer!

Hetalia doesn't belong to me; it belongs to the awesome Hidekazu Himaruya.

Now, because I'm a morbidly depressing person I would like to warn you that this story's rating and name are prone to change, for now they are as they are.

Before you read this know that this is not Betaed - is that even how you write that? Any ways, if you find any errors (no doubt you will) I would appreciate it if you would politely inform me of them so I can change them.

Edits! Thank you to animeluver4tori and Prussiakitty that helped me to fix some errors.

I've gone and done like I do with most of my writing and added and changed some details after this was first published.

Thoughts

Chapter one

The white haired cashier

It had started out as a leisurely walk just to get out of the house. The cold late November air nipped at Matthew's skin and the breeze tousled his wavy blonde hair. The silence of the nearly deserted shopping center and nearby neighborhood should have been calming to him, but like every walk Matthew took alone he was left with the company of his thoughts and nothing to distract himself. When he'd left the house he'd felt good, but with each step he felt worse and worse. Thoughts and memories of all the things Matthew regretted plagued his mind and quickly brought his mood down to the dark pits of despair.

He stopped walking to readjust his scarf to better protect himself from the breeze and caught his own reflection in the window of the hair salon he had been passing. It was after hours and the lights were off inside, making the glass the perfect mirror for everything out side. Matthew glared at his reflection.

When he was happy Matthew felt good about the way he looked. Maybe a bit skinny compared to his older twin Alfred, but he liked his features especially his wavy blonde hair and his eyes which were a deep violet hue. Then when he was unhappy he hated everything about himself. He thought his hair was a mess and too long for a boy. He felt like how skinny he was made him look far too girly. He even hated his beloved eyes, believing that since they were the result of a genetic mutation that made him some kind of freak.

The blonde had to force himself to walk away, but he kept watching his reflection in the windows of the closed stores. He turned on to the next block and walked quickly past the Italian pizza place on that corner. He knew if he looked in the window of the still lit store he would only feel sadder. The Italian family that ran it always looked like they were having so much fun working there and the people that came to the restaurant were just as jovial.

He slowed his pace until he came to a stop and glanced back up at the shop windows as he came to the small store next door. It was a peculiar little shop, but it was one of Matthew's favorite stores to wander around in. The front of the store had and old 1920 décor to it, as did many of the stores around it. The old look to the building gave it a warm and welcoming feeling. In the shop they always had odd little things that you couldn't find anywhere else and things that were popular when he was a kid that other stores no longer sold. It always made him happy to peruse the shelves to see if he could find something new. He loved their inexpensive odds and ends that he put to use in his art hobby.

The nicest and most welcoming thing about the store was the cashier that always seemed to work on the evenings Matthew would come by. His name tag read Gil and to the young blonde, he had the most stunning appearance. He felt he couldn't find words to describe the man's white hair and red eyes without sounding cliché.

Mattie stared in to the window debating whether or not to go inside. He was so deep in thought that he didn't notice the cashier waving at him at first. Then the door to the store swung open and jarred the blonde from his thoughts.

"You gonna stand out in the cold and stare or come in?" The white haired cashier asked peering around the door at him. Matthew took a few steps back; the nervous feeling that lingered from his earlier bout of self-hate telling him to run rather than too interact. "Um… did I scare you?" Gil asked stepping around the door and letting it go slowly shut with his right hand. The nervous blonde eyed him up and down, seeing that the other man was genuinely worried he relaxed a little. The white haired man grinned at him and gestured to the door, "Com'n it's freezing out here." Mattie nodded feeling his lips curve upward in to a smile to spite his nervousness and followed the white hared cashier in to the store.

The cashier had been right it was freezing outside and the warmth of the small store swept over Matthew and thawed his nerves as well as his body. The calm feeling washed away all his anxieties letting him become content.

"Now you look better." Gil said, startling Matthew again. The blonde stared at the other man wrinkling his brow and tilting his head slightly to one side.

"What do you mean?" Mattie asked purple eye's following Gil as he returned to his place behind the check out.

"How do I put this?" He said more to himself than to the blonde as he running his hand through his platinum hair and diverting his ruby eyes away from the others gaze. "You had this look when you walked up… I don't know how to describe it but, I've seen that look in my own reflection and I know what kind of thoughts go with it." He finally looked back at Matthew when he was finished to evaluate the other man's response.

Mattie took a few steps toward him looking at his feet, than looked up with a gentle smile, "Thank you," he said though this eyes shined with tears he was trying so hard to hold back. For once in his life someone had noticed and actually acted on it.

"No problem! So what's your name any way? I see you in here all the time." The albino said, smiling at him.

Mattie took a moment to revile in the feeling of being noticed before responding. "My name is Matthew Williams."

"I'm Gilbert Beilschmidt." He told him holding up his name tag, "You can just call me Gil."

"I always wondered if Gil was short for something." Mattie said out loud before thinking. Gil laughed.

"Well at least you have a proper name now." The he commented.

"Uh, what did you call me before?" Matthew asked not sure he really wanted to know the answer.

"Vögelchen." Gilbert replied.

"What?" The blonde asked tilting his head again. "Is that German?"

"Ja, es ist Deutsch." Gilbert responded, clearing up any suspicion Mattie had about the albino's accent. "It means Birdie." He Clarified. The blonde couldn't suppress the need giggled about the silly name.

"Why Birdie?" He asked once he'd finally stopped giggling.

"Um…" Gil paused to compose his response. "You always hum or whistle when you're alone… And you kinda remind me of my pet bird. "

"It's cute." Mattie told him, "The nick name I mean and I would have never guessed you had a pet bird, I always took you for the dog type."

"Ah, well, I've got a weakness for cute things." The white haired man replied shrugging his shoulders.

"Gilbert!" A shrill voice called from the back of the store followed quickly by footsteps.

"Fick." Gilbert said under his breath while running his hand through his platinum hair once more and looking in the direction of his manager lyring at him from the back of the small shop. "Hay, Birdie we should hang out some time." He told Mattie only glancing at him as he ran a little paper out of the receipt printer at the checkout. He glased up repetitively, wary of this maniger who was still watching him. He grabbed a pen and hurriedly scrawl out his phone number. "Here," He told him handing him the paper, "text me or call, kay?"

"Gilbert Beilschmidt, I swear if you are trying to pick up csajok well on the clock, I will fire you!" His manager almost shouted, suddenly appearing at the front of the store looking very irritated.

"Chill Liz." Gil said flatly. "Matthew isn't a chick." Suddenly all the fury fell from the young and rather pretty woman's face and was quickly replaced by a smile that made Mattie feel rather uncomfortable.

Liz took a few quick steps toward the blonde. Mattie's instincts told him to back away and he complied until he hit the wooden door behind him. Liz didn't seem deterred by this; she simply stopped a few steps away and looked the man up and down. Then she turned her gaze to Gilbert who had his arms crossed in front of him and was scowling at her. She looked between the two men a few more times before she spoke again.

"I could ship this!" She announced loudly and grinning impossibly wider. Gilbert rolled his eyes at her.

"Birdie, you might want to escape now before Liza goes all freaky fan girl on you." Gil warned him glaring at the brunet woman.

Matthew had no quorums with that idea and pushed the door behind him open and fleeing. He darted off in the direction of home, clutching the little white piece of paper tightly in this hand.

Author's notes:

Thinks for reading this!

… I totally have no confidants today thus I feel like this is terrible so please tell me what you think.

Reviews motivate me to write more than favorites.

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