A/N: This is for the wonderful Amy (ladyilena) who made the awesomesauce drawings that inspired this AU. And, well, everyone who wanted a fanfic to said drawings. Natasha as the Winter Solider is incredibly intriguing and I tried to make this as perfect as I could. I hope it does the drawings justice and you like it. Please, do leave me a review to let me know what you think of it. It'd mean the world to me :)
13 months, 16 days, 19 hours and 43 minutes.
That was the exact time Agent Natasha Romanoff was missing now.
It had been an easy enough mission. Natasha was supposed to infiltrate a party at a hotel in D.C. to gain information from a couple of high-ranked politicians and then get straight back out.
Maria had been supervising the whole evening, in contact with Natasha over her earpiece. Everything had been going well. Nobody had suspected she was a spy. She had just been another pretty face in the crowd of suits and dresses. Even after New York, nothing had changed for her which made her all the more perfect for S.H.I.E.L.D.
"There he is. This will only take a moment."
And then a bomb had gone off in the hotel. Maria had shouted through her earpiece, asking repeatedly for Natasha to come in but she had been met with deafening silence.
Natasha had been presumed dead after that. Not one person had made it out of the hotel alive and while S.H.I.E.L.D. had been searching the bodies for hers, nobody had found her.
It had escaped everyone's eyes that her body had been carried out of the flames. The burns on her arm had been the worst and it wasn't functional anymore. So they had taken the easy route and had taken it off, replacing it with a metal one.
Maria still dreamt about that day. Almost every night she would wake up, covered in sweat and the explosion ringing in her ears. It was tearing at her and despite her best efforts to cover it up, Fury had long noticed. She was distracted by the dreams and the hopes of Natasha still being alive. She ignored the arguments that she would have long checked in with a facility if she was still alive.
There was an attack on Fury a few days later. They didn't know who was behind it and when Fury made it to Sharon's apartment, he could only tell her so much before another attempt at his life was taken. When Maria asked her about it later, while Nick was being operated on, she told her there had been a woman on the roof. Red hair, metal arm and the ability to easily catch her shield. Before Maria had the time to comprehend the new information, her attention was drawn to the operation room where Fury was crashing, the heart monitor indicating his immediate death. Despite the doctor's best efforts, they declared him dead a minute later. Sharon stormed out of the room but Maria stared at the lifeless body sadly, her hand pressed against the cool glass.
"No…"
She went after Sharon. They needed to find out who was behind this and put an end to it once and for all.
As it turned out, they were being followed anyway and didn't need to go through the trouble of finding the bad guys themselves. While Sharon was busy keeping the soldiers away, Maria had spotted the red haired woman Cap had mentioned and she ran after her. It was obvious that it was a trap but she couldn't help herself. That woman needed to be taken care of. She was too dangerous. The few opponents between Maria and her target were quickly taken out, though not without injuries on her part. She had scratches on her face and her suit was ripped in several spots when she finally reached the mysterious woman.
Her gun raised, Maria carefully stepped closer. The red head turned to face her and Maria gasped when she saw her face.
"…Natasha?"
She couldn't believe her eyes. All these months, all the guilt and nightmares and thinking she was dead, and now here she was, alive and well.
Natasha just looked at her, the black around her eyes smudged by the sweat and heat of the day.
"Who the hell is Natasha?"
The question stunned Maria into silence. Did she not remember who she was? She lowered her gun slowly when Natasha didn't make a move to attack her and finally took the time to really look at her. Her eyes were empty, the metal arm was more than just a piece of armor and her stance was different too. It was Natasha but it wasn't her Natasha.
Natasha, too, was looking at the woman in front of her, studying her quietly. The emotions in her eyes were almost overwhelming to her and she could tell the woman was seeing someone else in her. Something told her that maybe, just maybe, her name really was Natasha. Something inside of her believed her, believed they knew each other somehow. She could feel it. The name sounded familiar to her and the emotions with which it had been said almost made her sad. There was a feeling of companionship when she looked at her.
Something behind them exploded but neither one of them paid it any real attention. Natasha didn't even flinch. She seemed to get herself together again however and when she heard a chopper come closer, she ran. Maria stood there, looking after her but she couldn't move. She was frozen, confused.
Sharon found her a few minutes later and they ran to safety when they found themselves under attack again.
"She doesn't remember, Cap."
"We'll make her."
"I know her. Who is she?"
Strapped down on a chair, Natasha looked at the scientists around her, pleading for an answer. She knew that woman. She couldn't recognize her but she knew her. She was dear to her. Someone important.
"Nobody." A voice rang out from the doors.
She looked up sharply, finding Pierce's eyes but it did nothing to calm her. He was lying to her. He must be.
"You saw her face on one of the pictures earlier. She's nothing more than a target."
Natasha stared straight ahead, slumped in her chair. She barely registered being pushed back properly or being handed the mouth piece to bite on as they strapped the metal against her scalp. She screamed in pain when the electro shocks started and the vision of the woman vanished. The memory was gone and the feeling of familiarity slowly disappeared with it.
The plan was simple. Stop the Helicarriers from killing millions of people and then take down HYDRA. Sharon was already finished with the first two and was on the way to get the third chip in place. She should have expected to run into her. Natasha stood in the way, making the control panel inaccessible.
"Maria, she's here."
The earpiece cracked as Maria thought about what to do next. They had to finish this mission, they had to, but she needed to get Natasha back too.
"Get the chip in, Cap."
She nodded to herself and then looked back up at Natasha.
"Natasha, I don't want to fight you. Please."
But she didn't move, she didn't even blink. So Sharon took the initiative. She threw her shield at her, not taking the time to be surprised about how easily she knocked it to the side and engaging her into combat. They fought and Natasha nearly threw her over the railing. Sharon elbowed her in the face and gained some space, heading straight back into the fight. Only long enough to get to the panel. She managed to reveal the chips before Natasha dragged her back by the collar, throwing her to the ground and she lost hold of the control chip. It slid down onto one of the lower areas and she went after it, Natasha close on her tail. Cap grabbed the chip, tugging it back into the pocket she had taken it from and then focused back on Natasha. The red head tackled her down and they fell onto the hard glass below them, both grunting at the harsh impact. Sharon got her breath back first and she made a run for it, trying to get back up to where the panel was. She didn't see Natasha get back on her feet and drawing her gun but she certainly felt the bullet penetrate her skin, digging itself deep into her leg. She didn't give up, though her grip slipped momentarily at the pain. She reached the bridge when she got hit again, steadily making her way to the control panel. A glance down told her Natasha was close behind her. She didn't have a lot of time left either way.
"Thirty seconds, Cap." Maria's voice rang in her ear.
She was nearly there. A shot rang out and Sharon fell to her knees. The bullet had gone straight through her abdomen and it became increasingly more difficult to get up and finish the job. She pulled herself to her knees and stood up shakily, plugging out the chip and putting in her own. The sigh of relief from Maria told her it engaged according to plan. She covered the last bullet wound with her hand and turned around when she heard the footsteps on the bridge. Natasha was approaching her slowly and Sharon took a few steps closer herself.
"10 seconds! Cap, get her out of there! Now!"
They both stopped and Natasha stared at her, a lost look in her eyes.
"Who is she?" She asked.
She was so confused.
"She loves you." Sharon answered, "And she needs you to come back to her. We need to get out of here, Natasha, before the Helicarriers shoot each other down."
Natasha hesitated. She knew they had lost, that she had failed her mission, but she also didn't know who to trust anymore.
She could hear the firing of the guns before she made a decision.
"Cap? Cap, come in!" Maria shouted over her earpiece.
The last Helicarrier had gone down and she didn't know if they had made it out. She couldn't go through this again and so she hoped for an answer. Anything, really.
"Come on, Sharon…"
There was a crackling sound coming through before she heard a voice answer her.
"She's alive."
"Natasha!"
There was no answer this time and for a moment Maria considered that she had imagined it. She went outside when Natasha talked to her again, telling her where to find Sharon. The Captain had fallen unconscious on their way off the Helicarrier and when Maria finally reached her, she had lost quite a bit of blood. There was no sight of Natasha, however, and once the ambulance was on its way, Maria let the sadness settle in. She accompanied Sharon to the hospital, staying by her bedside after surgery until she got kicked out.
Reluctantly, Maria made her way home. What she didn't expect was to find Natasha waiting by the door. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw her and Natasha looked up silently, waiting.
"Natasha…" She whispered.
A moment passed and then Maria ran towards her, wrapping her arms around her neck in a tight embrace. To her surprise, Natasha returned it, resting her head on her shoulder. She didn't know if she remembered who she was now or if she remembered her or what they had but it didn't matter. All that mattered was that she had her back.
