Rae's grasp on the bag grew tighter as she climbed the stairs and headed to Finn's bedroom. Why was she doing this? It was a stupid idea. How would she ever have sex with Finn when she didn't look good in this ridiculous, uncomfortable underwear? It was too fancy, it just wasn't her, and Finn would know it. She was convinced that she would leave feeling humiliated, stupid, pathetic... Other girls could show off their new underwear to their boyfriends and feel sexy, and perfect. But not Rae. She wasn't like them.

Fucking stupid idea.

She turned on her heel. Perhaps she could sneak out without Finn even noticing she'd been there. Maybe his dad wouldn't mention her ever arriving? Maybe his dad wouldn't even see her leaving? Now that was a much better idea.

"Rae? What are you doin' here?"

Oh, fuck.

Rae turned to face her boyfriend, offering him the most innocent butter-wouldn't-melt smile she could summon and shrugged her shoulders. "Just thought I'd come and see ya. That alright?"

Finn smiled, and shit, that smile still made her knees weak. "Obviously." He scrunched his nose up in the way he often did, in the way that never failed to make Rae smile, and moved aside for Rae to pass through the doorway into his bedroom.

"Still up for campin' then?" Rae asked, very conscious of the bag in her hand as she settled herself on Finn's bed, her knees crossed. Her hands automatically began to loop the handles of the bag together, an attempt to shut the opening, to avoid the contents being seen. She hoped that Finn had changed his mind about camping after all; that way, she could dump this shitty, over the top underwear in the nearest bin and forget all about it. Good fucking riddance.

"Yeah, if you're still comin'." Finn tilted his head to the side and smiled once he got his answer - a nod of Rae's head. "Good. Chop's in charge of tents apparently."

Rae nodded again. It was her idea to go camping, but now she wished Finn was too busy, even if she had to go without him. She could have a tent to herself, or share with Archie. She wouldn't have to get naked, or semi-naked, or pretend to feel good in a daft bra that didn't even offer any fucking support.

She cursed herself. The whole fucking point of this bastard camping trip was to lose her virginity before college. She didn't even like camping! She had no choice; she had to go. Maybe the underwear was unnecessary anyway? She could just get naked after wearing sensible underwear that gave her the support she needed. What was the difference? Finn wouldn't be turned on over the stuff she'd bought anyway. It was absolutely pointless.

"Rae? Did ya hear me?" Finn was suddenly closer to her, sat by her side, his knee touching her own. When did that happen? She should probably stop losing herself in her own thoughts. "I asked if you're alright? Ya seem a bit quiet."

"I'm not quiet. Do I really talk that much?"

"Usually, yeah. But not today. So, what's up?"

"Nothin', I'm fine. Just thinkin'." She tried to smile, but he was sitting really close now, and the bag was right there, balancing on her legs. It was so obvious it may as well have had flashing lights and a sign saying 'the most stupid underwear in the world' pointing right at it.

That thought was confirmed because Finn gave up finding out what was wrong and nudged her gently, "what's in the bag?"

"Oh, nothin' really. Just nipped out before with Izzy and Chloe." Rae shrugged it off and moved the bag to her other side, hoping to increase the distance between her boyfriend and the embarrassing garments she'd purchased without thinking.

"You must've got somethin' nice then." He smiled and eyed the bag that was being dragged slowly out of view.

Rae knew he was asking what she'd bought, and she knew he didn't know any better - was only asking out of interest, to show that he cared and to keep the conversation going - but she really, really wanted him to drop it.

"Yeah, just the usual stuff." She smiled and dropped Finn's gaze, hoping he'd get the point, but his arm was slowly reaching over her body and moving too close to the brown bag. "What're you doin'?" Rae spoke too loudly, in an almost panic and snatched the bag away from Finn's hands.

"What? I thought maybe you bought some new music or somethin'." Finn's eyebrows were drawn together in confusion, and he was probably offended by her attitude, so she softened her gaze and tried to smile.

"No music, unfortunately." She shook her head and sighed. "Just some new clothes."

Finn nodded, but looked defeated. Why did he have to look like that? He always looked so sad when she didn't tell him things, when she kept herself guarded - but it wasn't because of Finn, it was nothing to do with him. Rae was just fed up of embarrassing herself and this whole thing was such a bad idea and, and... fuck. There was no way out of this.

"Some new... underwear really." The words sounded strange coming from her mouth, because how often did she speak about underwear in front of boys? How often did she speak about underwear at all?

Finn's eyebrows were drawn together again, but not in confusion, in what looked like anticipation. His lips were parted very slightly, but he clearly had no intention of saying a single word until Rae elaborated.

She cleared her throat, ignoring the blush that she could feel creeping up her neck. "...For campin'." That sounded weird. Why would she need new underwear to go camping in? She always said such weird things. "For you," she explained. "To wear for you," she mumbled.

It was Finn's turn to clear his throat, and for a brief moment, Rae swore she witnessed a flustered Finn - but he was calm again, within a split second. "Ya bought new underwear, just to wear for me?"

Fuck. Shit. Bastard. Arse. "Yeah." Rae's voice was thick with question. She needed Finn to say something, anything, just so she knew what would happen next, so she knew what he thought. She wished he would just laugh to get it over with, or shoot her a glance that expressed how uncomfortable he felt - but he did none of those things. Instead, he smiled.

The fucker smiled, and looked so fucking smug with himself.

"Rae," he began, moving closer to her, she could feel his warm breath on her neck, "fancy showin' me then?" A hand pushed her long hair away from her skin, and lips pressed against her neck, placing kisses up to her jaw that made her shiver and gave her goosebumps up her arms.

"What?" She responded quickly, too quickly, and her voice was high-pitched, worried.

Finn could tell, because he kissed her cheek and said, "I mean, show me what you've bought, what I'll be seein' ya in when we go campin'."

Thank god. He didn't expect her to try them on right now. That suited her just fine, though bringing the fucking things out of the bag was more than enough to get her heart racing and her fingers shaking.

What if he didn't even like how the stuff looked right there? Never mind seeing it on her body. What if the colour was wrong, or the style wasn't right for her? Still, she brought the bag to her legs again and let the handles come free of its makeshift knot. Maybe Finn could just pull them out of the bag himself. She could close her eyes and pretend to be somewhere else - she didn't have to see his reaction.

Not a bad idea.

Rae handed Finn the bag and turned her head away. The door was looking so good right now.

Then Finn did something that caused Rae to realise just why she loved him so much. He understood her, despite her believing that she could never be understood by anybody. Because instead of ripping the bag open and bringing out the "sexy" underwear like any other boy might, he simply peered inside and when satisfied, pushed the bag to one side and wrapped an arm around her. The arm didn't stay there for long. Instead, it was used to guide her down onto the bed, her back on the mattress, her head on Finn's pillows, before her boyfriend proceeded to clamber between her legs, holding himself above her, an arm either side of her shoulder.

"I think ya chose wisely," he grinned down at her and touched her nose with his own.

Rae was more than glad that Finn seemed to be making light of the situation, and it was probably the best approach for the both of them. She smiled up at him - a genuine smile - and spoke softly, "I'm glad ya think so."

"I can't wait to see 'em properly." He kissed her lips, once. "At least I have a good reason for sleepin' outside in a crappy tent."

She smiled again and leaned up to kiss him properly, a hand running through his hair. When she pulled away, she settled back into his pillows and bit her lip, suddenly feeling insecure. "Do you really like 'em, Finn? You're not just sayin' it to be kind?"

Finn looked down at her, his head tilted to one side as he surveyed her expression, and his eyes softened and his grin faded into a smaller smile. "I mean it, Rae, I think you'll look beautiful." He kissed her jaw. "And I appreciate the thought, even though ya don't need to go to the trouble to impress me."

"What do you mean?" She raised her eyebrows and gripped onto his shoulders.

"I mean, I like ya the way you are. Ya don't need to do anything ya don't wanna do just for me." He sighed, clearly unhappy with the way his words sounded - though Rae was sure she knew what he was trying to say. "If you wanna buy things and wear things like that, that's fine, it's good, and I know you'll look amazing. But, you didn't seem too happy showin' me, so I don't want ya to do things that make you uncomfortable just because ya think ya need to." Finn blinked, and suddenly smiled. "You're already perfect to me. That's what I'm gettin' at."

Rae's stomach tingled with that familiar motion she got around Finn. He was so different, so kind and just genuine. Did she really deserve someone as brilliant as Finn Nelson?

But her thoughts were cut off by Finn's lips on her own, and her hands found the back of his neck, stroked the smooth skin. She'd allow herself to believe that she deserved him, at least for this moment - that they deserved each other.

And then she realised that the stupid underwear didn't matter. The stupid 'shagus pactus' she'd drawn up with Izzy didn't matter, and it didn't matter that she hadn't lost her virginity yet. Because Finn was here and Finn was willing to wait, was willing to accept Rae for everything she was. He found her beautiful, and interesting, and funny and smart - and that's what mattered. Finn didn't care if she had to wear plain, boring bras because she found the support more comfortable.

Finn broke the kiss and grinned down at her, before he pulled at his shirt and tugged it off completely. He leaned down, kissed Rae, trailed his hand up and down the curve of her hips and the shape of her waist.

Kissing Finn always made her worries melt away, and he always knew just how to touch her. They didn't have to get naked to feel good, anyway. She didn't have to rush into anything - she hadn't been out of hospital for very long, and maybe it was a better idea to slow things down. At least they still had this. She didn't need to get naked, she could stare at Finn's sexy bare chest, and she could feel his fingers through her underwear...

Fuck the 'shagus pactus', this was better than a shag.