You all know me as:
A cheater, liar, stealer
Kidnapper, tearless, fearless;
Now let me tell you an unknown part of my life
I have eight kids and a loving wife.
Her name is Clawdia; an angelic name.
Even though I still kidnap Peach,
I don't have a love affair.
Everyone has a time
To make a dark confession.
I have the impression
To voice my explanation
On this whole "Bowser kidnaps Peach" thing.
I had four wives before my current one.
The marriages never worked out, or they left me as a widower.
Why did my first two wives leave me?
Was it something I have done?
Were they jealous over my Peach plans?
Did I make my last two so sick, they died?
Suffering as they laid on their deathbeds, slowly dying?
Lying there, frail and weak, exhaling their last breath?
Divorce by divorce;
Death by death;
Motherless kid after motherless kid;
Family relationships stretched out like a cursed elastic band.
One of these days, that band will snap;
Scattering the remnants of my family
Whichever the dark, frigid winds of Dark Land blow them.
Along with gaining power to the Mushroom Kingdom,
This is why I kidnap Peach.
She is the closest to uniting my torn family;
We get together to summon up a plan
To snatch the only good from Pandora's Box:
Hope.
My kids are the only memories I have
Of my other four wives
Even though the fifth marriage
Remains live and strong
Nobody will ever know
What the future has in store for us.
