You all know me as:

A cheater, liar, stealer

Kidnapper, tearless, fearless;

Now let me tell you an unknown part of my life

I have eight kids and a loving wife.

Her name is Clawdia; an angelic name.

Even though I still kidnap Peach,

I don't have a love affair.

Everyone has a time

To make a dark confession.

I have the impression

To voice my explanation

On this whole "Bowser kidnaps Peach" thing.

I had four wives before my current one.

The marriages never worked out, or they left me as a widower.

Why did my first two wives leave me?

Was it something I have done?

Were they jealous over my Peach plans?

Did I make my last two so sick, they died?

Suffering as they laid on their deathbeds, slowly dying?

Lying there, frail and weak, exhaling their last breath?

Divorce by divorce;

Death by death;

Motherless kid after motherless kid;

Family relationships stretched out like a cursed elastic band.

One of these days, that band will snap;

Scattering the remnants of my family

Whichever the dark, frigid winds of Dark Land blow them.

Along with gaining power to the Mushroom Kingdom,

This is why I kidnap Peach.

She is the closest to uniting my torn family;

We get together to summon up a plan

To snatch the only good from Pandora's Box:

Hope.

My kids are the only memories I have

Of my other four wives

Even though the fifth marriage

Remains live and strong

Nobody will ever know

What the future has in store for us.