As you could have guessed, this story is based on Paramore's crushcrushcrush. I would highly suggest listening to it because it's an amazing song.
crushcrushcrush by Paramore
"I got a lot to say to you
Yeah I got a lot to say
I noticed your eyes
Are always glued to me
Keeping them here
And it makes no sense at all"
There he was -- by far, the most gorgeous guy in school. Everything about him lured me in: his messy bronze hair, his flawless face, his never-ending green orbs, his godlike body. From the first time I saw him, I was in love. But it would have never worked out because of the glorious blond attached to his hip. They were perfect together; he was the captain of the football team and she was the head cheerleader. Although, in my mind, I could see us together, I was sure that in his mind all he could picture was himself with her.
Edward and Rosalie I mused. The personalities fit, but the names didn't seem right. They didn't have the flow that names usually have when you associate people with each other. Edward and Bella, though, had that flow. It sounded right in my mind, but I was positive, at that moment, that my name had never once passed through his mind. I was so insignificant; I supposed his group of friends just thought of me as a resource more than a human being. Whenever someone needed help with school work, I was the one they would ask.
Even though the people he was friends with were mostly just over-confident snobs, I somehow managed to believe that he was different. Some part of him, it seemed, yearned to be a different person -- set apart from what he was used to. I truly did believe that a kinder, deeper person was hiding beneath the shell of who he was pretending to be.
And that shell was breaking.
His interest seemed to be leaving his group and he has even began paying less attention to Rosalie, and strangely enough, he has been focusing more on me than anyone. His eyes are always on me in the hallway when I walk by him and his brows are pinched together as if he was deep in thought.
Sometimes it seemed like he wanted to talk to me -- I sure wanted to talk to him, but I needed a way to get him alone. His friends were planting in his head that he was too good for anyone like me, so it was sure to be a hard task.
"Edward! Answer me when I ask you something!" an aggravated voice demanded. My eyes blinked as I realized that I had zoned out and was standing in the middle of the hallway. When I looked straight ahead again I realized Edward Cullen was walking toward me with Rosalie scolding him. "Look at me when I'm speaking to you!" It seemed as if it was hard for Edward to pull his eyes away from me, but I didn't get why. "Why are you even paying attention to her?" Rosalie spoke of me like I was a plague. "You're too good for people like her." Rosalie wrapped her arm around Edward's waist and her other hand made its way to his chest. I rolled my eyes as I moved out of the middle of the hallway so that Edward and Rosalie's groupies wouldn't trample me.
As Rosalie pulled Edward down the hallway, away from where I was standing, I could hear her still lecturing him about how he was the Varsity quarterback for the Forks Spartans and should never consider even speaking to 'my type' never mind looking at me like he thought I was good enough for him. "You want her, don't you?" she accused. "Well guess what! I have no doubt in hell that she wants you, too, but you are Edward Cullen and I am your girlfriend until I say I'm not. We belong together. Hello! Earth to Edward! You are the Spartans quarterback and I am the head cheerleader." She snapped her fingers in front of his face. "Snap out of it! You are going through a stupid phase! Get it in your head that you do not want her!" Her shrill voice grew louder with her anger. As she walked further away, though, it became muted, but still just as agitated.
Was Rosalie right, though? I asked myself as the warning bell rang and I began to walk to A block. Does Edward want me? Does he really think I'm good enough for him? No, it couldn't be. He loves Rosalie, right? Unless....
Unless the reason he has been looking at me when I pass him in the hallway is because reality is coming straight at him, unavoidable and inconceivable. My theory seemed more of a possibility now than I could have ever imagined. Does he truly want to be a better person?
Is his shell breaking?
A chirpy voice interrupted my thoughts. "Bella!" I could soon hear the tap of heels on the tile floor and, putting two and two together, I knew it was my best friend Alice coming up from behind me.
"Hey Alice," I said with a flustered edge to my voice.
She sighed and wrapped her arm around my shoulders, giving me a small squeeze. "Rosalie again?" she guessed. "I heard what she was saying when she was dragging Edward away and I saw the look on his face. He wants you." I turned my head to look at her only to see that she was being totally serious. "I wouldn't lie to you, Bella. You are my best friend. Trust me when I say this: I know guys."
"No." I shook my head, refusing to believe her. "No, no, no. He is just realizing that there is more to life than football and insolence. Soon Rosalie will be able to change his mind back and life will be as it was before all this happened; he will be just like the rest of them again."
"So you are saying that it really is just a phase, like Rosalie said?"
I nodded. "Don't you think so, too?"
"This is not just some game."
"Whatever. Let's get to class." Though I had dismissed the subject so easily, it was still tearing at my head the rest of the day. I had to know what was going on here, and not just from assumptions and Alice's supposedly abnormal knack for knowing what guys were thinking. I had to find out from the source. I had to talk to Edward.
But how could I get him alone? Rosalie would never let me stand face to face and talk to him about this nor would his friends. The only contribution they would all make toward this was planting in his head that he was too good for me and that he was perfectly happy with his life the way it was before he started paying attention to me.
It will be hard, but I'll find a way, no matter what, to get him alone. And even if he really wants nothing to do with me, I will at least be happy knowing the truth.
Review and tell me your thoughts -- don't be shy!
