Disclaimer: I do not own Characters, they are the property of Stephenie Meyer – nor do I own the basic New Moon plot. I do not own song lyrics, they are owned by Hinder.

Author's note: I actually wrote this story quite a while ago, and I found it while I was going through my old Word Documents. Constructive criticism is appreciated! Let me know if you like it :

(E.p.o.v.)

I internally kicked myself for losing Victoria's scent. Only God knows if I'm even had it in the first place. But I have to find her, end her. If there is one thing I can do for my precious Bella, it is to end that demented excuse for a vampire who tried to kill her. Kill my Bella. The hole where my heart would be ripped open at the idea. But then a new pain came, a stab of guilt in my gut. I had killed my angel, my Bella. I had left her. Of course I still loved her, but she doesn't know that. It's better for her, I tried to tell myself. It's better if she thinks I've moved on, so perhaps she will too. Moved on? I thought to myself – that could never happen, I'd never get over her. She will be happy, eventually. I told myself. She was a perfect, beautiful angel, who deserved to be happy. I was a cold, soulless monster who didn't deserve to be happy. I didn't deserve her. I don't deserve her. Not after all the danger I'd put her through, and telling her I didn't want her. I could see in her eyes she believed me, and it killed my already lost soul.

I think you can do much better than me.

After all the lies that I made you believe.

I pulled up to my family's new 'home'. It would never be home to me. My true home was in Forks, with Bella. I winced as my empty chest throbbed with a pain worse than anything I had ever felt before.

The entire family was on the porch, waiting for me. I hadn't seen them in months. Esme hugged me fiercely when I walked up to them.

"How are you?" She asked. Her thoughts were filled with worry.

"I'm okay." I said, not making any effort to make it sound one bit convincing. Of course they all knew I would never be okay. I knew it, too. For the rest of eternity I would be mourning her.

You're doing it for Bella, I tried to remind myself. I remembered when I first decided to leave. I thought about how it would keep her safe. It was all for her own good. But saying those few words had ruined everything. A simple "no" had shattered my heart, and hers too – I could tell. Never again would I be able to watch her sleep, kiss her, or hold her in my arms – never again.

But I remember

What it feels like beside you.

I walked to my "room" without saying anything to my other family members. I laid down on the bed and closed my eyes. Of course, I saw Bella. But it wasn't the same Bella. No, this vision didn't do her beauty justice. But it was Bella, nonetheless. She was sleeping, her chest rising and falling softly and evenly. She was so beautiful when she slept – and I wanted nothing more than to be there with her. I wanted to kiss her smooth hair, and breathe in her scent. I missed her so much, and I wanted to be with her, while she slept.

I really miss your hair in my face.

And the way your innocence tastes.

And I think you should know this –

You deserve much better than me

"Bella." I whispered.

"Bella." I sobbed with dry tears. "What did I do?"

I really miss your hair in my face.

And the way your innocence tastes.

And I think you should know this.

You deserve much better than me.

I couldn't take this any more – I had to go back, I had to see her again. But it would be just that much harder when I had to leave again… Just for a night, I'll just watch her sleep and wont let her know that I'm there. No, I couldn't. Damn it, no, I couldn't.

I couldn't. I won't put her in danger anymore.

You deserve much better than me.