Disclaimer: I do not own Darker than Black or any of its characters
He doesn't stand a chance. Nope, no one beats a dead guy. No one beats an obsession either. Not even a protector. But Saitou is allowed to dream. Unfortunately, for him, dreaming for the impossible is not so easy when everyday, reality is being shoved painfully into his face.
So he wakes up after a dreamless slumber, he goes forth to face a painfully realistic world, and he goes to bed, only to find that even in his dreams that rarely come, reality is still what he sees. He never complains though. He continues living his pathetic life… protecting and doing what she tells him to do; getting scolded for his foolish acts usually associated and even planned by his colleague, Kouno and practicing his judo. Yes, that's the joy of Saitou's life.
It is unavoidable to think of his 'rivals' though. Not that he can pass as a rival, he is utterly hopeless. But he likes to think that November and Hei are rivals… rivals for her attention. He usually wonders what it would be like to become a contractor just like them.
"Maybe boss would chase after me too!"
Saitou is daydreaming, for once, you can tell. In this rare occasion, he is rudely interrupted by Kouno saying…
"Or maybe you'd be in jail for abusing your 'contractor powers' by stealing doughnuts!"
And he falls back into reality, hurting his butt in the process. Who would've thought that falling back into reality could be the same as falling off the office chair? Everytime this happens, although rare, Misaki usually scolds Saitou for his clumsiness, saying:
"Saitou, that's what eating red bean bread and bottled milk does to you."
She says those words as if she never ate it and Saitou just smiles, thinking that he's lucky because she never heard his audible thoughts. He will resume with his work, thinking of more realistic things like:
'Who am I kidding? Of course I don't stand a chance.'
And he will smile, despite the terrible slash that his already wounded heart just felt. No matter how much reality bites, he actually sticks with it, with only few hints of dreams; dreams that come crashing down after five seconds.
And he goes home at night, hurt. He opens his fridge and takes out the only object that can provide him with comfort… bottled milk and red bean bread. He brings that to his living room table and eats it while watching news on T.V. Pathetic as his life may sound, there is actually a bit of meaning into it. At least he tries to convince himself that his life does mean something. He says that he symbolizes unconditional love… how cheesy… but still realistic. He said that he also lives to be her shield, to be someone she can rely on. Perhaps that is the only thing that managed to keep him going, thinking that she needs him. Yes, that's what he thinks. He usually says:
"She needs me more than she thinks." So he sticks around, looking out for her, like a loyal canine ally.
And he smiles… thinking that he is the only one who has the privilege of protecting her, he's the only one who can actually get near her. November is dead, Hei has gone somewhere far. He's the only one left beside her. And although Misaki's mind is focused on November and Hei, it doesn't really make much difference, he is still the one sitting beside Misaki. So he laughs…
"I am still the lucky one!" He says, "You might be in her thoughts but I am by her side."
Pathetic as his life may seem, pitiful as his dreams may be… he is still the victorious one.
