Chapter One
English Project
I was sitting in my English class, my Beats resting on my ears, music booming through the speakers. I had my journal out, sketching a picture of a forest full of animals and wildflowers, when Zach Goode swaggered through the door. We still had ten minutes until class started but I was unfazed. For some reason he had been set on arriving to every class we had together five minutes after I did since he moved here from Maine in 6th grade. Zach was the most popular boy in Roseville. He was known for his bad boy reputation in both Maine and Virginia. He was quarter back of the Roseville Raiders football team and homecoming king for three years. We were seniors at this particular time and in the 6 years he's been here we haven't had any association, contact or conversation.
But something about that day changed our lives...
About after five minutes of us just sitting there, students started to file into the room. As soon as the bell rang, Ms. Camereon, aka my Aunt Abby, walked in. The space fell silent as she started to speak.
"Today, class, we will be starting a big project. Can anyone guess what it is?"
I rolled my eyes and returned to my journal. She'd told me about the project the night before during dinner and I honestly thought it was the most boring piece of shit ever.
"How about you, Cameron?" Abby asked.
I sighed but didn't look up from my sketch, trying to add more detail to a giant oak tree. "We will be working with partners to research and prove a point about a topic of our choice. And before one of you football idiots asks, it has to do with English because, a, research and, b, we will be required to write an essay on our findings." I glanced up at Abby. "That accurate enough for you?"
There were a few snickers but Abby ignored them and continued. "Right you are, Cameron. I will announce your partners and you can work together to figure out a topic for the remainder of class."
Tina and Evan...
Eva and Mike...
Penny and Marcus...
On and on until she got to the last pair.
"Cammie and Zach. Now get to work."
I rolled my eyes again and put my Beats around my neck as Zach walked over to me with a stupid smirk on his face. I tucked my journal into my bag and pulled out another one specifically dedicated to this class. Zach had a twinkle of mischief in his eyes as he pulled a chair up in front of my desk.
"So," I started, pulling out my favorite marker, a dark blue metallic color.
"So..." He prompted.
"Lets brainstorm ideas." I wrote a heading in the middle of the paper in calligraphy (IDEAS) and drew a circle around it. "I'll go first. Espionage." I wrote it down.
He smirked wider. "Espionage?"
"Yeah, I mean most people think its real but there is a great amount of citizens that believe its not. Like-" I paused. "Look at the facts. Don't you have to have a specific skill set to be a spy? Yes. Well, where do you train? Is there a school titled 'Education on Espionage 101 Teacing Since 1976'? No. Which is my point. You can't be a spy without the proper training. And there's no where to train."
I could feel a few eyes on us but I didn't care. What surprised me and made me uncomfortable was that Zach was smiling at me. A real, nice, sweet, genuine smile. And let me tell you, Zach never smiles. Not even to family or friends.
"What?" I asked as he kept smiling.
"Nothing, its just that when you're passionate about something you talk with your hands, your eyes change colors and they have a sparkle in them. Its cute." He told me.
I blushed and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.
He leaned forward and whispered to me. "Thats cute too."
I blushed brighter but changed the subject. "Okay, continuing..."
"Um...Football!" He suggested playfully.
I rolled my eyes. I knew he was kidding and I laughed, but played along. "And why would you suggest that?"
"Well, everyone knows its the best sport in history."
"Uh, I'm a basketball fan." I laughed again, though I couldn't believe I was having the slightest bit of fun with Zach Goode.
"No way! You wanna know something?"
I looked at him weirdly. "Do I?"
He leaned forward, motioned for me to do the same, which I did, and lowered his voice. "I like basketball more than football."
I leaned back in my chair, surprised. "No way!" I shook my head in disbelief.
"Yes way! I'm pretty good too."
I scoffed. "I bet you couldn't take me."
"Please, of course I could."
"Okay, anytime anyplace."
"What?" He asked.
"That sounded like a challenge, so we can settle it on the court. Anytime, anyplace."
"Deal." We shook on it.
I wrote down basketball as an idea and we got back to work. In the end we settled on basketball being our topic. We laughed and talked some more too. Which is why I was confused. I was usually the "roll my eyes all the time" or "eat shit and die" type of girl. Not the one that would laugh and joke with Zach Goode the first time he even says a word to her.
The bell rang for lunch and we started gathering our things. I said bye to Abby and quickly walked out of class, towards my locker, which, in my state of confusion about my interaction with Zach, I'd forgotten was right next to Zach's. He walked up to his locker and switched out his books but kept glancing at me. He seemed to be just as confused as I was. But my usual sassy, smart mouth self was back and I wasn't having it.
"Did you want to say something?" I asked.
"Um..." He smirked at me slightly.
"Oh, stop bs-ing and speak." I said, rolling my eyes.
He smirked wider. "Did you want to exchange numbers and addresses so we can work outside of schools?"
"Sure. My house though, after school" I rolled my eyes again. I wrote down my info and he did the same. We swapped papers. "Enjoy life." I walked away before he could say anything and I felt his gaze on me but I slipped into the shadows, knowing he couldn't see me anymore.
I walked into the woods next to our school and found my little alcove. It was sort of a fort made from trees and leaves and branches. My godfather had built it for me when I was 10. We used to come here to do...well, anything really. I would sketch, he would play his guitar, I would cry, he would comfort, I would eat, he would drink(not in that way)... The list just goes on.
I took out my lunch box (eating school lunch is a mistake all freshmen make), and my journal. I started snacking on my food as I continued my forest drawing. Then he showed up. Well at least I thought it was him until Zach emerged from the trees. I let out a small sigh of relief but I don't think Zach noticed. He smirked at me but I just rolled my eyes.
"What the hell are you doing here Goode?" I asked, turning back to my journal.
"Oh, I, uh, I followed you." He told me.
With that my eyes shot up from the journal. "You followed me? I was in the shadows! How the hell could you even see me?!"
"Ive always seen you." His voice turned serious and the smirk fell from his face. That was odd but I ignored it.
"Well, clearly but how!? I'm the Chameleon. They don't call me the freaking Chameleon for nothing."
The smirk reappeared on his face. "The Chameleon? What?"
My eyes widened. "Nothing. Nevermind." He looked confused as I turned back to my journal. I almost opened up to Zach Goode! I almost told Zach Goode the most precious memories I have! The only other person that I told besides my family, who already knew, had betrayed my trust. Would Zach do the same if he knew? I mean, I know they used to be friends but is Zach-
I was ripped out of my thoughts by Zach sitting next to me. "20 questions."
I looked at him. "What?"
"20 questions. I'll go first. Favorite color?"
I rolled my eyes but closed my journal and leaned against the wall of logs. "Green and blue."
His eyes twinkeled as he stared at me. Smirking. "Same. Your turn."
"Fine, uh...Favorite movie?"
"Pirates of the Carribean." He smirked at me. Like that's new.
I shrugged. "Um, Matrix."
"Wow, never took you for an action type of girl."
"Well, I am. What the hell is Pirates of the Carribean?"
He stared at me, eyes wide. "You haven't seen Pirates of the Carribean?"
I shook my head and stiffled a laughed, amused by his reaction.
"Thats it, my house. Friday. After school. We're watching all of them."
My eyes got wide. "There's more than one?"
He nodded, a smug look on his face.
"The fuck, dude?"
He smirked at me. "My turn. Where are you from?"
"Well, I was born in Galway and raised there until I was five when my parents moved us here." Partly a lie, but I didn't exactly trust him yet.
"Wow. Irish. That one was unexpected."
I smacked him on the arm and he laughed. "How 'bout you?"
"I was born in Great Brittian but moved to Maine I with my parents when I was six."
We went on playing our game until the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch.
Zach and had worked all week on the English project at my house and it was finally Friday. We had become somewhat of friends though I still ate lunch in my spot. Well, technically it was Zach and I's spot now since he would ditch his friends to eat lunch with me there. I was on my way home, walking along the sidewalk, when Zach's 1962 red Cadillac convertible pulled to a stop next to me.
I stopped walking and put a hand on my hip, my bag hanging over my other shoulder. "Did you need something?"
He tilted his sunglasses down so that he could look at me over them. His green eyes were as bright as ever and I was making sure I looked everywhere but. He smirked. "Come on, princess. Why are you walking home?"
I rolled my eyes at the nickname but ignored it mostly. "Uh, because, unlike you, I can't afford a Cadillac, let alone a car."
"No, I mean, why the hell are you walking home? You're supposed to be coming to my house."
"Why again?" I asked, playing innocent.
"You know why. Come on, Gallagher Girl," He'd started calling me that, referring to the name of our high school, Gallgher High. "Get in the car."
I kicked a pebble as I walked over to his car. "Fine, Blackthorne Boy." I didn't bother opening the door, I just hopped over the side since the roof was down. I stared out the window as he pulled off and turned the radio up. A song I liked came on.
And I started to sing.
"You, you love it how I move you
You love it how I touch you
My one, when all is said and done
You'll believe God is a woman
And I, I feel it after midnight
A feeling that you can't fight
My one, it lingers when we're done
You'll believe God is a woman
I don't wanna waste no time, yeah
You ain't got a one-track mind, yeah
Have it any way you like, yeah
And I can tell that you know I know how I want it
Ain't nobody else can relate
Boy, I like that you ain't afraid
Baby, lay me down and let's pray
I'm tellin' you the way I like it, how I want it
(Yeah)
And I can be all the things you told me not to be
(Yeah)
When you try to come for me, I keep on flourishing
(Yeah)
And he see the universe when I'm in company
It's all in me
You, you love it how I move you
You love it how I touch you
My one, when all is said and done
You'll believe God is a woman
And I, I feel it after midnight
A feeling that you can't fight
My one, it lingers when we're done
You'll believe God is a woman
I tell you all the things you should know
So, baby, take my hand, save your soul
We can make it last, take it slow, hmm
And I can tell that you know I know how I want it, yeah
That you different from the rest
And boy, if you confess, you might get blessed
See if you deserve what comes next
I'm tellin' you the way I like it, how I want it
(Yeah)
And I can be all the things you told me not to be
(Yeah)
When you try to come for me, I keep on flourishing
(Yeah)
And he see the universe when I'm in company
It's all in me
You, you love it how I move you
You love it how I touch you
My one, when all is said and done
You'll believe God is a woman
And I, I feel it after midnight
A feeling that you can't fight
My one, it lingers when we're done
You'll believe God is a woman, yeah, yeah
(God is a woman)
Yeah, yeah
(God is a woman, yeah)
My one
(One)
When all is said and done
You'll believe God is a woman
You'll believe God
(God is a woman)
Oh, yeah
(God is a woman, yeah)
(One)
It lingers when we're done
You'll believe God is a woman"
Zach stared at me, bewildered.
"What?" I asked.
"Nothing, its just...I didn't know you could sing." He said.
"Well, you've only known me for a week so, yeah, that's expected." I smiled at him teasingly.
"You're really good." He told me.
"Thanks..."
"No really, you are."
I didn't respond but I did smile at him. And he smirked back. Of course.
He pulled into his driveway and I got out of the car, looking at his house. It was two stories, black with features of blue. It was nice and homey.
"Come on, Gallagher Girl. Or should I say Galway Girl." I noticed that Zach was already at the door
I rolled my eyes but followed him. "So, what?" I asked as we walked inside. He took my jean jacket from me and hung it on a hook by the door. "You're quoting Ed Sheeran now? Coincidence? I think not!"
"Whats a coincidence is that you're from Galway and your favorite song is Galway Girl." He told me.
"Whatever."
Just then, a women in her late thirties with red hair and striking green eyes identical to Zach's walked into the foyer. "Who,'s from Galway again?" She asked, smiling.
"Mom, this is my frien-"
I cut Zach off. "Aquiantance, Cammie."
"Oh! Well, Cammie, I'm Catherine, Zach's mom. You can call me Cathy." She held out her hand and I shook it.
"We're going to watch a movie." Zach told her.
"Well, I'm going to pick up the rest of you heathens. Have fun!" She left the house and I followed Zach into the kitchen.
"Your mom seems nice." I told him, leaning against the counter as he popped popcorn.
"Yeah, she is." He had a slightly less playful tone and I noticed.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine."
I frowned. "Zach, dont lie to me." I stepped closer. "Whats wrong?" My hand touched his arm and he turned to me, pressing the start button on the microwave.
"What did you mean about us being aquantaces? From what I could tell we were friends."
I didnt respond.
"Do you know what a friend is? Or what friends do?" He paused. "We hang out slash work at your house after schhol. We're at my freaking house after school about to sit in my bedroom and watch my favorite movies. We eat lunch together at your-"
I cut him off, finally finding words. "-our-"
"Our- wait, what?"
"Yeah, I guess it's our spot now. The only other person I shared it with besides my godfather, who created it, was my bitchy ex boyfriend and he betrayed my trust. You haven't so, its ours." I told him. At the mention of my ex, I saw Zach tense but I didnt mention it. Instead, I kept talking. "Anyway, if you look at it from your point of view, then, yeah, we are friends." I smiled warmly at him.
He relaxed and smiled at me. Yes, actually smiled. It was the same smile he'd had that first day in English when we had our first conversation. When he called me cute...
"Wow, I've never actually had a friend before." I confessed.
"Thats a lie." He told me, moving to stand in front of me, smirking. "It has to be."
"No, I'm serious."
He put his hands on either side of my body, caginginv me in, and leaned forward. "Well, in that case, I'm honred."
My heartbeat picked up at his close proxmitity. But then he leaned back just as fast as he had come close and said, "Come on, lets get this party started."
We went upstairs, arms full of popcorn and m&ms and managed to get through two and a half movies before we needed a break. During our "intermission" Zach asked me the question I was hoping he wouldn't.
"I just realized. I've never seen your parents and I've be been here for six years. It's a small town making that fact kind off odd. Do they work a lot or something?" Zach had his face buried in a bag of chips.
I froze just before I put the m&m in my mouth.
He noticed as he looked at me and immediantly apologized. "I'm sorry. I can tell its a sensitive subject. I shouldn't have asked." He looked down, slightly embarrassed.
I sighed. Zach was my friend. He was going to find out eventually anyway so why not now. Plus, I should be able to tell my friend these things, right?
I glanced at him. "No, it's fine. I should be able to tell you this stuff anyway."
"Cams, you don't have to-"
But I had already started. "So you remember when I said I moved here from Galway when I was five?"
He nodded.
"Well, that was partly a lie. I moved here with my Aunt Abby- or as you more formally know her, Ms. Cameron. To start from the beginning, I was four years old. I'd had a bad nightmare and my six year old brother Collins, I called him Colly back then," I smiled a bittersweet smile at the memory. "...He tried to calm me down but I just kept crying so he told Mom and Dad and they decided we should go on a walk, after all it was a lovely night, as Mom said. She was incorrect. We were walking along the beach. Colly threw me onto his back and spun around, making me laugh. Our parents were in the background, smiling at his adorable we were. But then disaster struck." Tears started to well in my eyes. "Collins and I were sitting at the edge of the ocean, letting the water dampen our pajamas. A huge wave came up out of no where, and Colly being Colly," My tears started to fall and were slowly turning into sobs. Zach pulled me to him. "He pushed me back, to keep me away from sucked up by the ocean. I still hear his screams every night as he disappeared I was yelling and screaming and yelling but my dad tucked me behind a bunch of palm trees, telling me it was going to be fine and he and mommy would bring Colly back to me. They never came back. None of them. Their bodies weren't even found." I was full on crying now, ruining Zach's t-shirt that looked great on him by the way. "Google 'family lost in the Great Galway Disaster leaving 3 year old girl orphan and brother-less'. CNN made a huge point of how distraught and fragile I was. After two years of therapy and crying and screaming, my Aunt Abby adopted me and I moved to Roseville. I've been here ever since." I looked up at Zach over my watery lashes, realizing that I was on his lap, curled up in a ball. "Yes, it was hurricane season but that hurricane, Grace, was supposed to be headed towards England but I guess it changed routes during the night and we forgot to check the weather reports. No one expected it. No one." His eyes were staring into mine. "I didn't just lose my family that night, I lost my best friend. I've been alone since then Zach, all alone."
Tears started to stream down my face again and he used his thumbs to wipe them away. "Hey," He whispered, forcing me to look at him. "You're okay. Its going to be okay. You're not alone anymore. You have me." He smiled down at me, the same smile from the first day we talked.
Then he just held me. The best part about it was that he didn't say he felt sorry for me. Those last two years in Galway that's all I heard. I'm sorry Cammie. I'm so sorry.
Actually, no. That wasn't the best part.
The best part was that, as he held me, it felt right.
And I actually felt like, for once, I wasn't alone.
Because I had him.
After I fully calmed down, Zach released me and we started the movie again, sharing a large bowl filled with a mixture of chocolate, m&ms, marshmallows and peanuts. Weird, I know but we both loved it so, why not?
My head was resting on his shoulder as we leaned against the front of his bed, sitting on the floor.
The third movie was almost over when Zach said, "I was seven. We were in Britian, walking around town, my dad and I. I'd had a bad day at school and ever since I'd been moody, so he took me out to cheer me up. We had gotten my favorite icecream, mint chocolate chip, and I was starting to feel a little better when some dangerous looking men ganged up on my dad." His expression was blank, and his eyes were a little glassy. "They said that Dad had owed them money and that they could just shoot him right there. Dad kept pleading for them to stop and they'd got the wrong guy and to not do this in front of his son but they guts didn't care. They'd started a scene a crowd was forming and I'm sure someone called the police.I was standing right there, tears falling from my eyes, too scared to move and watched as the bullet pierced my father's chest. I think I screamed but someone pulled me back before I could be hurt as well." He was staring straight ahead, even though the movie had already ended, eyes full of tears that threatned to fall. "Everyday since then I've thought that if I wasn't such a seven year old whimp and just took the shit the other kids said instead of letting it get to me maybe we wouldn't have gone out and he'd still be here to play with Charlotte after school and, hell, even experience the day she was born." He let a few silent tears slip out.
I didn't gasp or throw a hand over my mouth as I'm sure all of the girls at school would if they heard the information I was hearing. I just moved to sit in front of him and wiped away his tears before pulling him into a hug, threading my fingers through his curly chocolate hair.
He shuddered. "Ever since then I've felt-"
"Guilty?" I guessed, already knowing the answer.
He nodded.
"I know the feeling, but, hey," I pulled back, taking his face in my hands. "We can't blame ourselves for things we know in our hearts weren't our fault. Hell, I know I shouldn't be talking but we've all got to learn that. Look at me." He glanced away. "Look at me." Finally he held my gaze, and I stared back into his beautiful green eyes. "Your dad wasn't your fault. Do you hear me?"
He nodded.
"It wasn't your fault. Do. You. Hear. Me?" I said more firmly this time, my gaze never leaving his.
"Yes." Zach whispered.
"Good. And I'll be here to remind you of that. Just like you'll be here to remind me that I'm not alone. Kay?" I smiled softly at him, still holding his face in my hands.
"Okay." He smiled at me and I knew that Zach Goode and I?
We'd be friends for a really long time. If not more...
We had finished all the movies (which I admit were awesome and hilarious, hashtag Jack Sparrow for life) and I didn't feel like leaving yet so I texted Abby I'd be home a little later but before dinner, which started at 9:00. Zach took me to the garage because he had to work on his motorcycle. I brought my sketch pad along and continued the drawing of a girl spinning around in the middle of a meadow, completely carefree. Sometimes I liked to draw pictures like these- and for some reason the girl always ended up being me. Or, at least the version of myself I was when I had Colly, the carefree version. The version that used to run threw meadows holding hands with her big brother.
The version of myself that I wanted but would probably never be again.
I was trying to perfect the girl's- it my, I should say- features when I found Zach looking over my shoulder. "Wow," He breathed. "You're really great at that, you know?"
I blushed and tucked my hair behind my ear. "Thanks."
"But," Zach pulled my pencil and pad from my hands, setting them aside, smirking after noticing my blush. "You have to do something for me."
I rolled my eyes, turning to face him. "What?"
"Let me take you for a ride?" He pointed to his bike.
I scoffed. Was he insane? "Fuck no."
"Nope, you're going." He started to drag me towards the bike. "Come on. You'll love it. Trust me."
"Zach, I'm not trying to die, okay?" I raised my eyebrows at him.
He rolled his eyes. "You're not gonna die. I've been doing this for years. Plus, you're bound by the laws of friendship."
I sighed as he passed me the spare helmet. "Fine. But you owe me. Big time." (By the way, the helmets he had were the older ones that only covered your head and I thought it was cliche and cute at the same time.)
He pulled on his leather jacket. "Deal. But first, you need this." He handed me a leather jacket.
"Did you seriously buy this for me?" I stared at him.
He shrugged, sporting his signature smirk. "I've been planning this since like, Wednesday."
I rolled my eyes and slipped it on. "Thanks."
"No problem. Now get on the bike or we'll be here all day." Zach was already on the bike, smirking.
I rolled my eyes, again, but got on the damned bike, wrapping my arms securely around his waist. I could just feel his smirk as I did so.
"Oh, shut up." I said as I pushed his head with my hand.
"Come on, baby, I know you love me. You just won't admit it cause you don't wanna make our friendship awkward. It's cool. I get it." He was smirking with a smug look on his face. No doubt about it.
He pulled out of the garage and onto the rode, slowing picking up speed.
"You get on my nerves."
"Oh, I know. That's why I'm gonna run around like 'hey bestie' from now on just to get on your nerves more."
"Jerk." I said and he snorted, revving the engine as we picked up even more speed. I loved the adrenaline but do course I had to input a snarky, "You're such an asshat."
Zach laughed, going even faster.
The adrenaline eventually became so much I just had to put my arms out and let out a joyful scream. Zach smiled at me over his shoulder before turning back to the road. "Told you you'd love it."
I rolled my eyes. "Your ego is too big for your own good."
"Oh, I know."
As I laughed and screamed joyfully a little more, I realized that this was the first time in years I'd felt like the version of me in my sketches.
The first time in years that I'd felt truly and utterly...carefree.
And Zach was the one that had made me feel so.
For opening me up again. For making me feel not alone.
For making me feel again.
And at that moment, I felt amazing.
And maybe, just maybe I loved him for that.
