A/N: Yesterday in theatre class, my teacher had us write monologues (a long stream of dialogue from one person's perspective) from ANY fictional character. Being an IZ fangirl and Zim being as utterly crazy as he is, I decided to write one from Zim's POV. It's not very long, but I thought it would be fun to upload anyway! :D Read and review, my lovelies!

IMPORTANTE! A "beat" is a pause in a monologue, and "x. es " means "crosses".


(Zim has just been teleported to an unknown skool. He looks around, completely confused.)

What? What is this? It's another stinking HYOOMUN skool! GIR will get me out. GIR! (beat. pulls out communicator from PAK) Come in, GIR! (beat) GIR! (beat) Stupid, useless, robot, droid... slave... thing... (x. es to table and sits down) If GIR cannot aid me in my escape from this academy for earth-worms, then I shall call my Tallest! (beat. pulls out communicator again) My Tallest? My Tallest? Hey, my Tallest! My-mmm-my Tallest? My Ta-a-alli-i-ist! Hey! Hey! Hey, over here, my Tallest! My Tallest? My Talleeeeest? My Tallest! My Tallest! Hey! My Tallest, my Tallest, my Tallest! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! My Tallest! My Tallest? Hey! MY TALLEEEEST! MAH TALLEEEEEEEEEST! My TA-A-A-A-ALLE-E-E-E-EST! Hey! Hey! My Tallest? Uh, hey! My Tall-? HEY, MY TALLEST! LOOK AT ME! MY TALLEST? MY TALLEST! MY TALLEST? (beat) Weird... They answered, but hung up. Fine. ZIM shall get out of this skool by himself! (x. es to door, marching. Is obviously stopped by a "teacher") What? What do you mean ZIM cannot leave? (claws at the air while screaming for the next two lines) LIAR! YOU SPEAK LIIIIEEEES! (x. es back to seat mumbling to himself) Foolish worm-babies! You do not know with which the powers you are dealing! And oh, what powers they are. (starts drawing. Looks over at "someone" who has started talking to him.) Why do you earth-stink insist on speaking to the ALMIGHTY ZIM? (beat) No I'm not drawing! ZIM does not waste time in stupid hyomun hobbies. Zim is planning for total Earth conquest. (Beat) Yes. I am amazing, aren't I? (Bell rings from somewhere offstage) AT LAST! The ZIM is free from the clutches of the earth-baby's stupid skool! (Laughs evilly and starts coughing and hacking halfway through.) Whatever.