The greatest deception of all.
The fact that I am able to pull such a thing off day after day amuses me to no end.
I have no doubt that should anyone become aware of my great deception, they would not believe it no matter how convincing the evidence. After all, who would expect such a thing from me?
Even Severus took some time to convince, and he even saw the real me.
He saw me in the Inner Circle, yet it still took time to convince him that I was not acting on Albus' orders.
After all, why would I willingly join a radical group that I profess to hate so adamantly?
For the thrill of course.
I hadn't always been this way. When I was young I was happy, caring, and so sickeningly sweet to anyone that spoke to me. My parents had told me that it was possible I could end up a wizard, my mother being muggle and my father being magic, but I had never hoped too hard in fear it would never happen.
But then, one day, I received word from the Headmaster of Hogwarts, Albus Dumbledore. I had been accepted to attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. My parents had been more excited than I, and the next day I was the proud owner of a real wand.
I remand unchanged through my school years, finding solace from the endless days in books and even friends. I was part of a famous group of mischief makers whose days at Hogwarts would be talked about for years to come.
I was happy with my friends and my life, but there was something lacking. Women had never satisfied me. I found the idea of making love to be horribly dull and only when I imagined taking the girl by force did I ever find arousal and release, though I kept that bit of information to myself, afraid of what others might think of me.
It wasn't until after I left the school and made a feeble attempt to make it on my own, did I begin to change. Sleeping in a rickety old apartment surviving on almost nothing made me irritable and I was no longer as caring or affable as I used to be. Yes, around those that I grew up with I just as I used to be, but I began to grow vicious to strangers, those I knew I would never set eyes on again.
Less than one year later, I was approached by Lucius Malfoy. He told me that this organization named, The Death Eaters, and their leader, Lord Voldemort wished for me to join them based on certain characteristics of mine. He explained that he sensed a darker side to my person that the Death Eaters would allow to come out and only when he had my interest piqued and the yes on the tip of my tongue, did he tell me what the Death Eaters were truly about.
I did not deny that the idea of murder did not interest me slightly, but that was not something I was willing to admit. I told him no quite firmly and got up to leave when a devilish smirk graced his lips and stated plainly to my retreating back that if I were to join, my greatest fantasy would be fulfilled.
And so, that day, I joined the Death Eaters.
Two months later I, along with my schoolmates, was inducted into the Order of the Phoenix.
During my time with the Death Eaters, I allowed myself to come alive, awakening desires long since buried for fear of their discovery. I allowed myself to indulge in certain physical pleasures I had never considered before.
I allowed the wolf inside of me to come alive.
And so my deception began. I betrayed those I had grown up with, gave their information to those that wished to destroy them and planted ideas into their head that would cause them to fall to ruin.
Something that no one but Severus ever knew.
I destroyed my 'best friends,' each and every one of them; and while I played the part of the mourning marauder, I laughed in secret at those that consoled me. I mocked their concern and cursed their pity, vowing to pay back every kind word with pain and betrayal.
Though the Dark Lord fell, I never allowed myself to lose that part of myself that I had so willingly set free. My lust for the sadistic only grew in his absence. I met with fellow Death Eaters, participating in raids, mass rapes, and brutal killings on a regular basis. I even took a leaf out of my mentor's book and positioned myself close to muggles when I transformed, just so I could relish in the insatiable pleasure that comes from ripping flesh from bone and feeling the warm blood of life spilling on the tongue.
That is what I dwelt on as I sat in the stuffy kitchen of headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix, listening to Severus supply false information to an ever listening Dumbledore. It was the only thing that got me through these days, dreaming of my next kill.
I must have been daydreaming too much for I soon felt an annoying nudge to my side. I suppressed the urge to literally bite the head off of the person who dared to tear me away from my exquisite fantasy and instead turned sweetly to the boy next to me.
"Sorry, Harry, I was thinking of Sirius."
It was a common excuse of mine since the bastard had fallen through the veil in the Department of Mysteries. They believed my mourning to be genuine and so when the Potter brat turned to me, his eyes full of understanding and wasted concern I was not surprised.
"It's ok Professor Lupin, I understand."
It was difficult to hide the smirk that wanted so badly to appear. Oh, if they only knew, I thought as my eyes drifted to Severus, his own eyes mirroring my own sick pleasure.
We were deceiving each and everyone person in this room for our own amusement and they had no idea.
They had no idea that they were aiding me in achieving the greatest deception of all.
