A/N: Happy belated birthday, xStarxShinex! I'm sorry for going away on your birthday, so I couldn't finish this. I hope you enjoy. I hope you laugh, feel this deeply in your heart, and possibly cry. And remember, it's from your darling Diego. ;)
To all you Luke x Selena haters out there... Lol read it and see what you think of her after. ;D
No Regrets
She has always wanted a child. The commitment of a child never fails to falter her determination. The pain a child brings doesn't even disgust her, unlike some of her friends.
She longs to hold her baby in her arms. Gazing at the beautiful miracle, even the thought of her baby warms her heart. She will know the baby is hers, and she will protect her baby in any way possible.
This can be a girl that will be wearing shirts too low and skirts too high, or a boy with jeans falling past his bottom with uncombed hair. But no matter what happens, she will love her baby unconditionally.
In her head, she imagines the fuzzy scarlet hair on that fragile scalp. The skin will be flawless and glowing. Eyes will be as purple as amethysts.
Being a mother will be hard. There are sleepless nights and chasing around the house and endless patience. But she's prepared to take care of her child.
But not like this.
Selena, most definitely, did not ask for this.
Spring
Tanned feet step across the silky sand. The fiery grains sift between her toes and brush past her exposed skin. Rays of sunlight beat on Selena, but she brushes off the heat as if they are strands of hair.
The heat is so intense; he slips his headband off his forehead. Beads of sweat dot across his skin. Annoyed, he wipes it against the back of his hand.
His golden, cat-like stare eyes the dancer. Eyelids are squeezed shut as she moves her body. But she notices him watching. Her senses are as sharp as ice. Who is this guy?
Deciding it is best to ignore him, she continues.
Her body becomes looser and more flexible while continuing to move. The exotic tune pounding in her head spins into an irregular, exhilarating melody. Legs stretch past the piles of rocks and slippery weeds.
It almost feels like home, except the climate is cooler. Instead of the tropical hibiscuses and ripe bananas that usually get into Selena's way, there are sea urchins poking at her.
As sharp as those spikes are, Selena has no regret of leaving home. It was a prison. Being cooped up on that island where precipitation rarely touched drove her insane.
This place, Castanet, is much more exciting.
For example, an interesting subject is the observing boy. The only men that watched her back home were her parent's age, or slightly young. But this young man seems her age.
She's never seen him before, but it seems like he knows her. He doggedly follows her every move, a smirk beginning to edge on his face.
Finally, she swivels around to place her hands on her hips. "Stalker." The accusation is light in the spring air. Selena senses his discomfort. Piercing, violet eyes glare at him.
"You're a good dancer." He laughs.
His comment causes her to tilt her chin higher in the air. She notices how nicely the flames on his headband complement his azure mess of hair. He's cute, but not cute enough. And definitely not her type.
First off, she wants a guy that doesn't stalk her on the beach.
With a small hmph, she sharply replies, "Thank you."
"Alright!" he cheerfully turns to leave, and her eyes widen in the slightest. Through his tight shirt and leathery vest, she can see his bulging muscles. Goddess, they are everywhere. Every tiny ministration he makes, the muscles flex.
Impressive.
But she doesn't miss the feeling of annoyance rising up in her. With a snap of her fingers, she demands, "Hey, you, stop there!"
Second, she wants a guy that will respond to her insults.
Almost eagerly, he spins on his heel. The charming smile stuck on his face doesn't faze her. "Yes?"
He plays with a tooth, strung on a sustainable black cord. It's slipped around his neck. Selena wonders what kind of tooth it is. Bear? Whale? Shark?
Then she jumps to the conclusion that he's a butcher. It's preposterous, really, but a reasonable assumption.
Like the brat she thinks she is, she stamps her foot. It almost lands in goo of seaweed. Disturbed, she pulls back. "Did you hear anything I said?"
"What?" He's too busy staring at her voluptuous breasts. It's very obvious, even the crabs seem to be jittering. Unashamed, she smacks him hard. He deserves it. "Ow. What was that for?" He's amused. Meeting his gaze, she realized with irritation, that he knew.
"You're a stalker, a pervert, and clueless," she remarks. Faintly she makes out the pinkish outline of a hand of his cheek.
"Shouldn't you be asking for a name? Where I came from? Or are you going to try stupid, cheesy pick-up lines on me?"
Carefree, he laughs. Running a slender hand through his hair, the man shakes his head. "How could I forget?" Selena thinks he's about to pull a pick-up line, but instead, he sticks out his hand.
"Names! My name's Luke."
She inwardly groans.
Third, she wants a man that knows what's going on.
When the hand doesn't waver, she reluctantly shakes it. "You were obviously not paying attention," she tells him, raising an eyebrow. "I didn't want your name."
But inside, something blossoms. She feels a little giddy. Luke. His name is Luke.
Before she knows it, she says in return, "My name's Selena."
Summer
She doesn't tell anyone her feelings for the strange carpenter.
She doesn't tell anyone she thinks she's in love with him.
As a new, successful dancer at the bar, Selena still has no regrets. She can't imagine not living on Castanet and instead reside on Toucan Island. The thought is unbearable. Many times they had tried to persuade her to return, all resulting in failure.
Instead, she visits her family. Sometimes they visit her. It's a reasonable compromise, an arrangement she doesn't mind.
They've met Luke, the man they are forever grateful to. At once they greeted him with polite smiles and enthusiastic energy.
"Thank you for shaping my daughter's life for her," Samson pumped Luke's hand so hard that he nearly toppled over.
"You'll be always welcome with us, Luke," Sue reluctantly said with a firm hug. Selena remembers the concern on her face as she worriedly cast a glance at her daughter. "We can't thank you any other way."
After a season, her mother is still uneasy about Selena moving to Castanet.
With a sigh, Selena rests her head in her hands. Maybe it's time to visit her parents again... It had been what, a week since she last saw them?
"Let's get to work, Selena," Kathy, the daughter of the owner, urges her. Her blonde hair cascades over her shoulders as she leans in the mirror to touch up her makeup. She bats her long lashes. "I look good, right?"
"Owen will love it," Selena honestly says, and the door to the bar breezes open. Behind the cash register, she gets a pen and paper ready. Taking over Kathy's shift will be a breeze.
Kathy turns, in excitement of seeing her boyfriend, but her face falls. "Luke," she says with familiarity. "I haven't seen you in the longest time."
Luke.
Selena's eyes shoot up.
He walks into the bar, his blue hair shining under the afternoon sunlight streaming through the windows. His sweat is like small diamonds sparkling on his tanned skin. Summer has done well to him.
He looks good, she silently muses, studying his body. In the time they haven't seen each other, he has seemed to grow taller and built more muscle. Then again, she always feels like Luke has grown. At the age of nineteen, he is still a growing man.
Furiously blushing, she tugs on strands of ruby red hair falling out of the messy bun she whipped up.
The shark tooth swings around his neck, and Selena has the sudden urge to reach out and fix it.
He's looking at her with the eyes she has grown to love. "Hey," he greets with a nod. Luke's bangs fall in front of his face, and she's mesmerized by the way he uses his fingers to tuck it behind his ear. She quietly murmurs a greeting back.
She imagines those fingers touching her in places, roaming across her body in a tantalizing tease. Maybe she'll wrap her legs around his waist and give him a passionate kiss right now, too...
"Selena."
Snapping out of her daydream, she slams her hands on the marble counter. "W-what?" The pen clatters to the ground on the other side, and Selena mentally slaps herself. "Oh, hey, Luke."
Luke bends down to pick up the pen. "You're out of it today," he says, sliding in a stool. With that coy grin, he looks at her. His eyes glitter in amusement.
She feels the sparks on her skin as their fingers meet. They're almost like fire. Wondering if he sensed the connection too, she tugs the pen back and says, "Thank you."
"Are you okay?" he asks. The playful expression on his face crosses into worry. It's cute to know that he's concerned for her. Not many people have been, except her parents. His kindness is one thing she appreciates.
Selena recalls the first time she knew she had feelings for him.
On one of his sober nights, he was watching her dance at the bar. She was moving like she usually did, sashaying her hips and winking at the crowd. Hands stretched above her head as she extended a leg high in the air. Then she silently fell back onto it, shifting her weight.
"Be a slut. Entertain the drunkies," Kathy had told Selena when she started the job. "It's what the crowd loves. I hate dressing up in this getup."
As an example, she gestured to herself. Her denim skirt barely covered her bottom, while her shirt was so low that Selena was afraid it would slip off. With a shrug, Kathy continued. "My dad hates it, but it's what most of the teenage men come here for. And they spend the most money on beer."
People had to do what they had to do. The men loved her, and quite frankly, she loved the attention. She was used to it. But what she was not used to was little before closing time, when Kathy began gathering the glasses and bottles.
He was sitting in the corner, gesturing Selena to walk over to him. When she did, Luke smiled and said, "I'm not drunk." Before she could react, he crashed her lips to his, and, well, she melted.
She leaned over the table, cupped his cheeks in her hands, and eagerly began kissing him back. Their tongues danced in an extreme frenzy, with such passion that Selena was ready to give herself to Luke.
She didn't know why she kissed him back. But all she knew was that it felt good.
When they pulled back, she was panting for more. But all he whispered was, "You're beautiful. You might hate me now, but I just had to do that." With that said, he left.
She began noticing him after that. From the way he laughed, to the way he talked to the other villagers. Selena liked Luke. And it all started with that kiss.
Now, Selena is pretty sure she is in love. Her heart flutters whenever he comes ten feet within her. She wants to keep his eyes on him, and be with him always. Inside, she cares for him, and will be there whenever the damn boy gets hurt.
But the kiss seems like their little secret. They never talk about it, since that night. She bites her lip. "I'm good."
"Have fun, you two!" They don't bother waving to Kathy as she exits the building. They're fixed on each other, waiting for the other to make a move.
Selena nods at him. A smile spreads across her face, and she lets out a laugh. She can't stand this staring-seriousness game people like to play. "So, where have you been?"
He drums his fingers against the counter. "Work." He says mysteriously, and she doesn't bother to pry.
"Alright. Need anything?" The question is stupid. Of course he wants something. He's at a bar, and she's the server. What would he want, a glass of milk? Under her breath, she curses herself.
He doesn't take note of her slip up. "Beer."
She doesn't hesitate to slide one over.
Yes, she is definitely in love with him.
Fall
Everything is a haze when Selena slams her glass against the counter. "Refill!" She demands. The whole bar is thunderous with yells and moans, so she repeats her request again.
She doesn't know how many drinks she's taken, nor does she care. With a laugh, she turns to the companion and says, "You know... you're hot." A finger trails to his jeans, where she hooks the waist and brings him towards her.
He's laughing, placing his hands on her hips where she likes them. She doesn't exactly know who the person is. Vision blurred, she can tell he has thick spiky hair. As her fingers run through them, she wonders why she's never felt hair like this before.
His large, light coloured eyes are mesmerizing. They stare into her soul. Under her hands, his biceps contract as he picks her up. "You're so light," he remarks, with that twinkle in his eye.
Selena giggles. "You're fine, boy, hot damn." Purring, she learns over the sloppily kiss him. His lips move under hers, and she lets out a needy moan. On his tongue, she tastes bitter beer. "Let's get a room."
"You're like a fox," he mutters in her ear. It's uncomfortable, but incredibly sexy. In that husky tone, he says, "You'll wake up tomorrow, and—" He's cut off by her mouth.
Before they know it, they're rolling around on a bed. The sheets are tangled up within their bodies, so with a growl, he strips them and discards them to the ground. Her fingers are shaking, desperately undoing the buttons one by one.
Their lips locked in a passionate kiss; she wraps her legs around his waist, and pushes him against the mattress.
She still doesn't regret coming to Castanet.
She does when she wakes up. She regrets every single damn thing.
The place isn't unfamiliar at all. It's her room, behind the Brass Bar. It's next to Kathy's and across from the washroom. She opens her eyes, thinking it's a regular day.
That is, until she feels the breeze and the man sleeping next to her.
The night came rushing back to her. Oh my goddess. There was that stupid party, and she got drunk, and now she found herself in bed with none other than Luke.
Why, out of all people, Luke? She doesn't know whether to feel proud or sceptical that she slept with the guy she loved. But all she's aware of is that while drunk, she took advantage of him.
It would have been at least satisfying if she has sex with him when they're sober. But no, this happened because they were drunk. The horror washes over her.
Guilty, Selena stares at the sleeping man, afraid to make another move. What if he wakes up? Should she wake him up? The smile that graces his lips is too peaceful to disrupt. He'd probably feel worse than her.
Finally she pulls on her clothes and slips a suitcase from underneath the bed. She has to escape – fast. It's all she can think of. As she throws her possessions inside the bag, Luke stirs.
Selena pauses.
He sighs, content, and snuggles in closer to the pillows. She sees the discarded sheets on the ground, not knowing how they got there. They probably threw them off or something.
After she finishes packing, she whispers, "I'm sorry for screwing you over."
Selena carefully presses a kiss to his damp forehead. She will spend forever thinking about her good-bye if she doesn't.
Luke looks almost like a baby in the morning flickers of sunlight. More than ever, she wants to drop everything and lie with him, in his protective arms.
The tears fill her eyes. Before Selena changes her mind, she turns the doorknob, then silently leaves.
She has told her parents that she is temporarily staying with them, because she misses them. They are pleased and happy to have their daughter back.
Selena left a note for Kathy before she departed the island, shortly explaining the situation; she dearly missed her parents, and she'd be back by spring. It's a long way, she knows, but one never abandons family. Kathy understands.
At first, Selena doesn't know what to do. She's slept with Luke, quit her job for the time being, and she's trapped on Hell Island once more. Eventually, she will return to her real home. But she has no idea when.
A week after she runs from Castanet, she expects her monthly blood cycle to take claim of her. She's surprised when another week passes, and nothing comes. There's no blood staining her cotton underwear. Nothing. Nada.
Then another week passes. And another.
She hasn't had her period yet.
Finally, a thought dawns on her. What if I'm...? No, I can't be...I can't be...
Afraid, she buys pregnancy kits. Selena highly doubts the results will be positive. At the young age of twenty, she is unable to imagine that inside of her, there is a life beginning to grow. It also means that Luke and she will have a child in two seasons.
Impossible.
There is no doubt about one thing, however – she wishes to keep the baby. Knowing that there can be a life that comes from her, prides swells in her.
Confidently, she takes the pregnancy test. If Luke is truly the father of their child, then maybe it won't be so bad. She loves him, and possibly, he loves her. Plus, she can take care of this child with the help of some villagers too...
She has always wanted a child. The commitment of a child never fails to falter her determination. The pain a child brings doesn't even disgust her, unlike some of her friends like Kathy and Luna. They commented on how much work a baby can bring, and that they aren't prepared to take care of one.
She longs to hold her baby in her arms. Gazing at the beautiful miracle, even the thought of her baby warms her heart. She will know the baby is hers, and she will protect her baby in any way possible.
Then, when the meter clicks over to the positive side, she's horrified. Her mood violently changes. It's going to be so bad. She has to tell Luke about the baby, she has to tell her parents, then the whole island will know, and...
It can be a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes. She made a mistake sleeping with Luke. This baby is a mistake.
Yet, the baby is a miracle that she has already grown to love.
She takes three more tests.
Positive. Positive. Positive.
Surprisingly, she's calm about the situation. She's accepted the wonder like putting on a pair of jeans. Of course she's mentally freaking out and that she has no idea how to play it out, but she's prepared. She's prepared to love her child.
This can be a girl that will be wearing shirts too low and skirts too high, or a boy with jeans falling past his bottom with uncombed hair. But no matter what happens, she will love her baby unconditionally.
In her head, she imagines the fuzzy scarlet hair on that fragile scalp. The skin will be flawless and glowing. Eyes will be as purple as amethysts.
Being a mother will be hard. There are sleepless nights and chasing around the house and endless patience. But she's prepared to take care of her child.
But not like this.
Selena, most definitely, did not ask for this.
Winter
"Hey, Selena, someone's here to see you!" Her father calls through the door. He sounds like he's having a carefree with the person here to visit Selena.
She wonders why the person is here to see her. She hasn't even contacted any of her friends back at Castanet. Even with Samson and Sue's disappointment, they have accepted that they are grandparents.
If anything, they are somewhat excited. Selena is determined to keep her baby, and quite frankly, they are too. Their daughter is too young – well, that's just too bad. They have to help her along the way, right?
Her hand rubs over her rounded stomach. A season has flown by since she discovered of her pregnancy. Nobody on Castanet knew, either. The secret remains on Toucan Island, with Selena and her parents.
The thought of the baby motivates her. Eventually she has to let Luke know about his child, and she's planning to do that in the beginning of spring.
In the meantime, Sue trains Selena. She teaches her what to do after feeding the baby, and how to put the baby to sleep. Several baby books have been handed down, and Selena lies awake for hours, reading through the manuals.
"Alright, tell them to come in!"
She rests the back of her head against her pillow, waiting for the person to enter. Then she pulls the sheets over her bulging stomach and piles pillows around, so the baby is concealed.
For all she knows, the person coming to visit her is gossiping Luna. One can never be too careful. Luna can start a wildfire of rumours within seconds.
The door clicks, and in walks Luke.
"Hiya, Selena!" he greets, sitting on the edge of her bed. "How are you?"
Out of all the times he chooses to visit, he chooses now. He couldn't have come after he discovered she disappeared. No, it has to be today, at this moment.
She glowers at him, suddenly feeling very annoyed. If it's the mood swings affecting her, she doesn't care. All she cares is that Luke is in her room, and that he's acting like everything is okay, when they are obviously not.
Part of his tan has faded away, and his hair has gotten wilder. From where she's sitting, she can count every awkward sticking blue spikes underneath his bandana. It's like he rolled out of bed. Selena would know.
"Sick," she dully says, and it's the truth. She's gained weight, hopefully he noticed.
At any moment she can throw up. But that means throwing off the covers, exposing her body to Luke, running to the washroom, and emptying her breakfast – which was strawberries and pickles – all down into the toilet. Then he will know.
He brushes aside a few stray strands of hair and slips them behind his ear, like he always does. "Sorry I haven't visited sooner," he immediately says.
She's suddenly aware of how long his eyes lashes are. They slowly bat against his toned skin.
At the same time, the baby kicks her. The baby is moving around inside, squirming and pressing against her. It's beautiful, and she bursts into tears. This isn't the first time it's happened, but it's definitely the first time Luke is there to share it with her.
She decides she has to tell him, but he quickly adds, "Don't cry, baby. After that night, I was grounded. Then I found out you were gone, and my heart was like, breaking."
Tears begin welling up in the corner of his golden eyes, and it makes Selena sob harder. He continues, "I finally get to see you, and I want to tell you that I'm sorry for having sex with you. I should have been stronger, and telling you we should have waited. I don't know if you have the same feelings that I do, but Selena, I love you."
I love you, too.
Her throat is dry. Her speech is garbled and blocked, and she can't even interpret her own words. It's somewhere in the mix of "Luke, I love you" and "Luke, I hate you so much for being grounded because I love you so much" and "Luke, I don't regret having sex with you because now we have a beautiful baby and I love you."
"Shh, shh," Luke coaxed, edging closer to her. "I have something to give you." He slightly leans past all the fluffy pillows and warm sheets, and extracts something from his pocket.
The shininess catches in the lamp light. First, she sees blue. It's lighter than Luke's hair, yet darker than Toucan Island's sky. A dazzling, jay blue hue is held up in front of her vision, and she gasps. Every little bit of the feather seems so real, so vibrant.
She has to reach out. Fingers stroke along the soft feather, not believing reality. "Luke..."
"Selena, will you marry me?"
"Yes," she says, nodding. The tears are coming faster, streaming down her cheeks. "Yes!"
She can't believe this day is finally here. The man she loves – loves her back. The idea of marriage is so abrupt; she can't begin to process it in her mind. Her thoughts are confused, jumbled up, but she's focused on two things: Luke, and the baby.
At this moment, he has to know. But instead of saying so, she leans over without concealing her stomach. He's close to her. The distance between them is so small that she can feel his hot breath on her mouth. "I'll marry you."
He whoops, and starts laughing. "Oh goddess, Selena, I can't believe it!" He covers her hand with his. "We're getting married! I already know what our wedding will be like, outdoors, full of flowers and dancing and—"
Before he can keep rambling on, she says, "Luke."
"Yes?" He softly kisses her, protectively and lovingly. With his gentleness, she foresees them living a happy life together. She knows this is the time to tell him.
When they break apart, smiling, she says, "Luke, I'm pregnant with our child." A blush spreads across her cheeks. "That's why I haven't visited," she explains.
"W-what?" On his face is a look of disbelief. She doesn't blame him.
To prove it, she pushes away the sheets, exposing her rounded tummy. Caringly, she rubs her skin, looking into Luke's eyes, wide as tennis balls. "Er... surprise?"
He faints.
Spring, Again
"It's a girl!" Luke crows, pumping his fist in the air. With another victorious cheer, he runs around the room until the doctor tells him to stop. His booming laughter echoes around the clinic. "Selena, we have a baby girl! She's beautiful!"
He drops to one knee beside her, and tightly grasps her hand. She's heavily panting, her chest slowly rising up and down. She sucks in a deep breath, eyes darting around the room.
The baby begins to cry. She thrashes her tiny fists in the air, screams piercing their ears. Her body looks so frail and delicate. The baby lies on the mat, wailing for her mama. Selena feels the cries reach her heart. As the doctor clean the blood off her, Selena attempts to sit up.
There are tears in her eyes. Her baby has been finally born into this world. After all the training with her mother, Selena is ready.
"My baby," Selena breathes. "Let me see my baby."
She looks out the window and smiles at her parents and future father-in-law. Samson and Sue are locked in each other's embrace. Tissues are being pressed to Sue's nose, and Samson wipes the moisture on the back of his hand. "She's beautiful," he mouths.
Dale, Luke's father, has his arms crossed across his chest. He regards Luke and Selena with silent pride. From here, she can barely see the tears touch his eyes. But they are definitely there. Finally, he raises a hand and gives thumbs up. She appreciates it.
Luke gently pushes her back down. "You'll get to see Lucy," he whispers. "Don't worry about it. You need to stay put because you're crazy tired, and Lucy is, too..."
Selena's eyes bulge out of her head. "Lucy?" She shrieks, bolting upright. Immediately she turns to her fiancé, shaking her fist. "When did I ever give you permission to name our child, Luke? This needs to be a mutual agreement!"
"What do you think of it?" Luke innocently asks. She detects his usual playfulness behind his eyes. He laughs. "I thought it was good. Lucy. Yenno, like as in Luke, and Selena. Lu-Se." He pronounces every syllable, carefully and clearly. Bashfully, he smiles. "Besides, my mother's name was Luciana."
Selena rolls her eyes. "I love it," she tells him truthfully. "For both reasons." She fiddles with his shark tooth necklace, the one that his mother gave him before she died. The decision is final. "Lucy it is."
Lucy.
She regains the last amount of energy she has left into sitting up and swinging her heavy legs over the bed. Walking over to the bed where her daughter lies, Selena says, "Her name is Lucy. Lucy, your mama is here."
Her fingers collide with her baby's. The gesture is simple, but it's enough to make Selena's heart warm even more. She sees the light tuffs of blue hair sticking from her pale scalp. Underneath those tight eyelids, she sees a glow of amethyst.
"She looks like us," Luke whispers, wrapping his strong arms around her.
"I love her," she chokes. Rocking Lucy back and forth, she kisses the top of her forehead. Luke does the same. "I love her so much."
Selena holds Lucy in her arms with Luke, and she's crying. She's crying because a year ago, she never imagined having a baby. A year ago, she never imagined going through so much. A year ago, she never imagined falling in love with the cocky carpenter.
But she did.
So much has changed since then, and it will shape her whole life ahead.
And Selena has no regrets.
A/N: Happy birthday, birthday to you!
Review your thoughts. The button isn't that hard to click... Feedback is appreciated. And wish xStarxShinex happy belated birthday! You might want to check out her stories while you're at it, too.
Peace out!
~Diego
