Perfect Timing!!!!

Disclaimer; everything in this story belongs to J.R.R Tolkien.

A/N: Hey all! First LOTR funny fan-fiction by the one and only ME! Please r/r. In summary, it's about me and my two best mates Saz and Roch, (Sarah and Rochelle) who, uncannily, go to a witching school. By the way, I'm Kooky, that's my nickname.

Anyway…..One night, a vortex appears and guess who happens to be sucked into Middle Earth?……..

1 CHAPTER ONE

2

3 TURBULENCE



At Candlelit Craft of Witchcraft and Wizardry, it was midnight. Every student was either tucked up in bed or studying for a big exam… except Kooky, Roch, and Saz who were all up and about scoffing snacks and drinks in the school kitchens.

"Mmm…" said Roch with delight. "I LOVE these sandwiches…!"

"Roch!" Kooky hissed, looking round her. "I don't think the people in New Zealand heard you, could you say that louder next time?"

Roch scowled and dug back into her sandwich, Saz grinning away.

"This feels so naughty, creeping out after hours," she giggled. "It's like the time I snuck out of my window to see this Wizard in the grounds…"

There was a clatter and a bang, and the three girls whizzed round quickly to see if a teacher was there. No-one was around.

"Phew," said Kooky, putting a hand to her heart. "I thought we were caught… be quiet, both of you!"

Roch giggled and wiped her mouth before saying, "Can you imagine if we were suddenly punished for being so naughty?"

"Yes, now shush," Saz warned, narrowing her eyes. She'd preciously been given a hefty detention for not handing her homework in on time.

"No, I mean in a perfect world. It'd be seeing our favourite people in a wonderful far-away world or something…" said Roch, drifting off into dreamland and getting out her wand absent-mindedly. "It'd just be, ALAKAZAM! and you'd be there," she added, flicking it and it gave a few green sparks out.

Another clatter was heard then, and they jumped up, looking towards the door. A strange humming sound filled the air, and Roch and Saz started panicking and hid behind Kooky who got out her wand menacingly. The humming grew louder, and they all trembled. Surely a teacher wouldn't be up at this hour?

They decided, or rather Kooky did as she walked forward and the others followed, to investigate. Up the stairs and into the Dining Hall they went, looking round and watching the white enchanted candles float in the air, their flames giving off little light. Suddenly, with a blast of white and blue light causing the three friends to cover their eyes, a round swirling mist appeared over the tables… It was huge, and directly infront of them.

"What the…" Saz cried, but she never finished.

They could feel the power of the wind dragging them in, and they screamed.

"HOLD ONTO SOMETHING!" Kooky cried desperately, and they tried to catch hold of chairs but it was no use. They were taken from the spot and drawn into the swirling vortex that dominated the room, one by one, flailing their arms and yelling.

Into the wormhole they went, swirling and tipping over, zooming at the speed of light along a vast tunnel that seemed to stretch for miles. Kooky tried to get her bearings but it was no use. The walls were the same, blue and white, swirly and misty… then with a great tug at the stomach, they were spat out of the vortex and thrown in the air, landing with a great thud on soft, green grass in a wood with trees the size of skyscrapers.

With a moan, Kooky raised her head, and looked up, trying to focus her eyes. Where in the world was she? Limbs aching and stiff, and a bit cold from the sudden rush and speed of her travelling, she tried to sit up and see if she could identify where she and her friends were.

Roch suddenly jerked awake and sat bolt upright, wide-eyed and shaking.

"Did what I think happened… just happen?" she asked dazedly, and Kooky nodded.

A groan came from Saz, who was face-down in the grass, and she tilted her head up warily.

"I hate turbulence…" she mumbled remorsefully, and sat rubbing her head. Kooky was very alarmed. She had no idea where she was, how she'd got there or how she could get back, and what made it harder was that they were in the middle of a rich, thick wood and no paths were in sight.

"Are we… lost?" whimpered Saz suddenly, which was very out of character for the normally feisty girl.

Kooky went to reply but was cut short by the soft singing and approach of a small figure, bouncing merrily along through the trees.

"Far over the misty mountains cold,

To dungeons deep and caverns old

We must away ere break of day

To seek the pale enchanted gold…

The dwarves of yore made mighty spells

While hammers fell like ringing bells

In places deep where dark things sleep

In hollow halls beneath the fells…"

The singing stopped as the little person spotted Kooky and her two withering friends, and bounded up to them.

"Morning good ladies!" the little person greeted. "You look lost!"

"I'm afraid we are…" said Kooky, surprising even herself in talking to a strange person like himself.

"Fear not!" said the little person. "I shall lead the way back to the nearest town! What be your race?"

"Er… English…" Roch tried, getting up behind Kooky.

"No, no, are you of Men or Elves?" said the little person again, and Roch realised her mistake.

"Oh! Men… Men… well humans anyway."

The little person nodded happily at them.

"I'm a hobbit! Bilbo Baggins as it were! Pleased to meet your acquaintances! Huh-huh!" he chuckled, and turned round. "Follow me young ladies! I know the way for new folk to go!"

Kooky looked at the others for confirmation before leading the way after him, stumbling occasionally over tree-roots and leaves which Bilbo seemed to miss completely, even though he was lower to the ground.

"Have you got a place to stay?" he asked.

Kooky realised they hadn't and replied, "Unfortunately, we haven't, no."

"Well not to worry! You can stay with me!" he answered, suddenly perking up. "Nice place, this is!" he said as he walked. "Called The Shire! Safest place to be! Where I live is Hobbiton, and I've got my own Hobbit Hole called Bag End! Wonderful it is! Wonderful!"

The friends listened to Bilbo talk of the Shire 'til they reached his home, which was situated on a very pretty hill overlooking the countryside. The friends had to stoop low to enter his home, and they smiled at all his trinkets that littered the place.

"FRODO!" cried Bilbo at the top his lungs. "We have guests! From some- where, where they like to dress in… well, clothes that look like pyjamas!"

Kooky clung on to her pyjama top. She just realised she was wearing her blue checked night-clothes and felt very silly, stood there in the middle of a new world in broad daylight. Bilbo didn't seem to mind however. He went about the house and put the kettle on, while calling for someone else called Frodo.

"Yes Bilbo?" came the answer, and another hobbit's shadow was seen making its way into the kitchen. Kooky and the others sat on the tiny chairs near a fire and waited, twiddling their thumbs nervously. They hadn't spoken to each other since their arrival, and they were too shocked to start now. Soon, Bilbo made his way to them with a tray full of cups and biscuits, and a steaming tea-pot.

"There we are!" he said politely and set the tray down on a little table. "This is my nephew, Frodo Baggins. Come in Frodo!"

Frodo appeared and instantly Kooky noticed how sweet and young he looked. His hair was curly and black, his eyes were big and blue, and his petit figure moved as light as air. He was simply adorable.

"Hello," he smiled.

"He lives with me," Bilbo explained. "So I hope you don't mind more male company!"

"Not at all," said Kooky, Roch and Saz together, and Frodo blushed.

"Great! Great…" muttered Bilbo and poured out some tea. "I think you shall learn some good things from Frodo! He loves the Shire and knows his way around he does! Just follow him and you'll be safe!"

"Oh we will," said Saz devilishly. Kooky and Rochelle caught each other's gaze and rolled their eyes. There'd be no stopping Saz now….



A/N: so what did you think? Any good? Please review! I hope you liked it, I spent an hour on it at least…

SO! What's going to happen to them? Will they get back to Candlelit Craft? Is Saz gonna try and win Frodo over? Tune in next time, to CHAPTER TWO!