Villains on Uh-Oh!
Many years ago there used to be this gameshow on TV called Uh-Oh! Well, here's an X-Men, My Little Pony, and Avengers variation. Using villains I am (or was, in the case of one) waiting for a final fate for.
Warning: Mild hints of male/male shipping. Also may contain spoilers for Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and Harry Potter, in the format of question and answer. If you haven't seen the answer to the question yet, and don't want spoilers, just avoid looking at the answer when you see the question.
"Welcome to Uh-Oh!," said Professor X. "I'm your host, Charles Xavier. Over there are Nick Fury and Princess Celestia, who are in charge of Mayhem, and here's Twilight Sparkle, who's in charge of Speed Round. Now, let's introduce our contestants!"
For the blue team, The Other and Thanos emerged from the blue smoke in one tunnel.
For the green team, Queen Chrysalis and King Sombra walked out of a tunnel with green smoke.
For the red team, Azazel and Riptide walked out of a tunnel with red smoke.
"And now, it is time to unleash... the Punisher!" said Xavier.
In a flash of light, Discord appeared. Discord threw Rarity into a tub of slime.
"Punisher, control!" said Xavier.
Discord, who was about to throw pies at Loki and Magneto, turned toward Xavier. "Come on, I just wanted some chaos!" he said.
"No more candy for you," said Xavier. "Now, let the game begin. At the front we have The Other, Chrysalis, and Riptide. To the side we have Thanos, Sombra, and Azazel. Now. The Other, come up and spin!"
The Other spun the wheel. It landed on Speed Round.
"Speed Round," said Xavier. "Go to Twilight Sparkle."
Using super speed to rival Rainbow Dash, The Other ran over to Twilight.
"I'm going to ask you questions," said Twilight. "And for each one you get right, you win five points. If you don't think you know the answer, say 'Pass'."
The timer started counting down.
"Do I bite Rainbow Dash's tail in the show?" said Twilight.
"No," said The Other.
"Does Rainbow Dash bite my tail?" said Twilight.
"Yes," said The Other.
"Does Applejack bite Rainbow Dash's tail?"
"Yes."
"Does Rainbow bite Applejack's tail?"
"Yes."
"Do I bite Applejack's tail?"
"Yes."
"Does Rarity bite Rainbow Dash's tail?"
"No."
"Does Rainbow Dash bite Rarity's tail?"
"No."
"Has Pinkie Pie ever bitten a tail?"
"Yes."
"Has Princess Celestia ever bitten a tail?"
"No."
"Has anypony ever bitten Luna's tail?"
"Yes."
"Does Fluttershy..."
The timer reached zero.
"Time's up," said Twilight. "How did he do?"
"He got all 10 questions right," said Xavier. "That's a healthy 50 points. Now, it's Chrysalis's turn to spin."
Chrysalis spun the wheel. It landed on Mayhem.
Chrysalis walked over to Celestia.
"I need you to flip over these pancakes for me," said Celestia. "Use this to flip them onto the table. For each pancake you land on the table, you win five points for the green team."
"Sounds easy enough," said Chrysalis.
"Ready... begin!" said Celestia.
Chrysalis put a pancake on the frying pan and flipped it onto the table. It knocked the table over.
"You knocked the table over," said Celestia. "So no points for the green team."
"That's not fair!" said Chrysalis. "You rigged that because I beat you in our show!"
"Riptide, spin," said Xavier.
Riptide spun the wheel. It landed on The Dump.
"My personal favorite," said Xavier.
"Put the ball in the pinball machine," said Twilight, "and where it lands determines who gets how many points."
Riptide put the ball in one of the holes. It rolled down the pinball machine and landed in a hole that said "25 Green".
"You just gave Green 25 points!" said Twilight.
"Ha!" said Chrysalis.
"Nice going Riptide," said Azazel. But he couldn't stay mad at Riptide for long.
"Right now Blue is in the lead with 50 points, Green has 25, and Red has zero. Now, it's time for the second round. The Other, spin the wheel."
The Other spun the wheel. It landed on Trade and Spin.
"You must trade points with one of the other two teams and then spin again," said Xavier. "Who are you doing to trade with?"
"Myself," said The Other.
"You can't trade with yourself."
"Green."
Blue and Green switched around, 50 with 25.
"Why thank you, The Other," said Sombra.
The Other spun the wheel again. It landed on Lose and Spin.
"You lose 20 points," said Xavier. "And you can't spin three times in a row, so your turn is over. Chrysalis, you're up."
Chrysalis spun the wheel. It landed on Uh-Oh! Discord took Sombra into a tank and teleported to the top of the tank which had a funnel on top of it directly above Sombra.
"If you answer this multiple choice question right, you get 50 points," said Xavier. "What does a blowfish do when he gets scared?
A: Swallows a lot of water
B: Bites a pony's tail
C: Sings My Little Pony songs
D: Pulls the covers over its head."
"Pulls the covers over its head?" said Chrysalis.
"No, he swallows a lot of water," said Xavier. "That's why they puff up."
"I could have answered that!" said Sombra. "You did that on purpose!"
"I have never seen a blowfish before!" said Chrysalis defensively.
"Here's some blowfish soup," said Discord, and he dumped a bucket of slime on Sombra.
"Riptide, it's your turn," said Xavier.
Riptide spun the wheel. It landed on Speed Round. He walked over to Twilight.
"I know you don't usually talk, but now you will," said Xavier, employing a bit of his power.
"I will answer as many questions as I can for Azazel," said Riptide.
"Who's the mechanic in Star Fox?"
"Peppy Hare."
"Who is Rika's Digimon partner?"
"Renamon."
"What is Dr. Robotnik's nickname?"
"Dr. Eggman."
"How many tail rings does Krystal have?"
"Three."
"How many Devas are there?"
"Twelve."
"Who is the ultimate life form in Sonic?"
"Shadow the Hedgehog."
"Who killed Fox's father?"
"Andross."
"Who's MarineAngemon's tamer?"
"Kenta."
"Who kills Metal Sonic?"
"Sonic."
"Who's the leader of the Cornerian Arm..."
The time ran out.
"He got seven answers right, which is a healthy 35 points," said Xavier. "Blue has 5 points, Green has 50, and Red has 35. Now, we go to the Slime Tour."
Three ponies stood at the arena for the Slime Tour.
"Why am I on the yellow team?" said Rainbow Dash. "Can't I get the rainbow team, or at least the blue team?"
"There are no blue or rainbow teams," said Captain America, standing next to Iron Man, Wolverine, and Princess Luna. "Only yellow, orange, and purple."
"You know, Giga Bytes Cereal colors," said Iron Man.
"Can I get something with yellow and black stripes?" said Rainbow Dash. "Like a wasp?"
"I suppose," said Luna.
"For yellow we've got Rainbow Dash, for orange we've got Applejack, and for purple we've got Berry Punch, the drunk," said Xavier. "Now, each of you must bet on who you think is going to win. If you guess right, you win 50 points."
They talked for a while.
"I've raced Rainbow Dash before," said The Other. "She's the only one who can beat me. The other two doesn't have a chance."
"She was using her wings," said Thanos. "The rules say she'll have to go on foot this time."
"Still," said The Other.
"Do you think Rainbow Dash will win?" said Chrysalis.
"Applejack will just bite her tail and hold her back," said Sombra. "They never said she couldn't. And she can rival Rainbow on foot."
All three teams faced blocks with each side colored to face the screen.
"Blue is betting on Rainbow Dash, Green is betting on Applejack, and Red is betting on Berry Punch," said Xavier.
"Oh Venkman!" said The Other, Thanos, Chrysalis, and Sombra at once, trying hard not to laugh.
"First you must race to that tub of slime," said Wolverine.
"You must jump into the slime and find the pony figure within," said Captain America.
"While holding it by the tail, you must continue to race to the finish," said Luna. "Last one to reach the finish line wins."
"Use of wings are prohibited," said Iron Man, "as is taking another pony's figure. Biting tails is allowed."
Applejack gave Rainbow Dash a triumphant look.
"3... 2... 1... go!" said Iron Man.
Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Berry Punch ran 100 meters to the vat of slime. Applejack bit Rainbow's tail and pulled her back before running ahead. Rainbow wanted to flap her wings, but remembered she'd be disqualified. So she ran after Applejack, and reached the tub of yellow slime and searched through it for the pony figure. She eventually found one, resembling her, but Applejack had already found hers and was dashing ahead.
Rainbow ran after Applejack, threw the pony figure aside, and bit Applejack's tail, pulling her back. She ran ahead, then suddenly remembered she needed the pony figure. Rainbow ran back to get it, but Applejack bit Rainbow's tail and pulled her back, then realized she threw her pony figure aside as well. Applejack ran to get it, Rainbow threw her pony figure aside and bit Applejack's tail. She then ran over to her pony figure and picked it up, but Applejack bit her tail, threw her a bit away, grabbed her pony figure, and ran for the finish. Rainbow darted after Applejack and caught up to her in no time. They were neck in neck and reached the finish line.
"It's a tie!" said Luna.
"A tie?" said Applejack and Rainbow Dash.
"For second," said Wolverine. Berry Punch was already at the finish line.
"Berry Punch wins!" said Iron Man.
"How does a drunk beat the fastest pegasus in Equestria?" said Thanos.
"Applejack is one of the greatest athletes and she lost to a drunk!" said Sombra.
"We knew they were going to be too busy screwing around biting each others' tails," said Azazel, flicking his tail slightly.
"The red team bet on Berry Punch so they win 50 points," said Xavier. "Blue has 5, Green has 50, and Red has 85. Now, our players have switched places. At the front we have Thanos, Sombra, and Azazel. On the side we have The Other, Chrysalis, and Riptide. Thanos, spin the wheel."
With superhuman strength, Thanos spun the wheel. It landed on Win and Spin.
"You win 20 points," said Xavier. "Spin again."
Thanos spun the wheel again. It landed on Uh-Oh! Discord took The Other into the tank.
"What is the stuff in lava lamps made of?" said Xavier.
A: Oil
B: Kerosene
C: Wax
D: Molten lava
"Molten lava," said Thanos, licking his lips.
"No, it's wax," said Xavier.
"Here's some wax," said Discord, and he dumped slime on The Other.
"King Sombra, spin the wheel," said Xavier.
Sombra spun the wheel. It landed on the line between Uh-Oh and Mayhem.
"Mayhem, that's Mayhem," said Xavier.
Sombra walked over to Nick Fury.
"All of my cockroaches have fallen into this vat of slime," said Fury. "If you can get all 20 of them out in 30 seconds, you win 20 points. If even one is still in there when the timer reaches zero, you get no points. Oh, and you can only use your mouth. Which I guess shouldn't be too hard because you're a pony."
Sombra took all the dead cockroaches out of the vat before the time was up.
"20 points for the green team!" said Fury.
"He gave you an easy one," said Chrysalis.
"Azazel, spin the wheel," said Xavier.
Azazel spun the wheel. It landed on Uh-Oh!
Discord took Riptide into the tank. "Nopony's gotten a single question right so far," he said.
"As of Season 2, who is the only one of the Mane 6 whose tail is not bitten by Rainbow Dash?" said Xavier.
A: Applejack
B: Pinkie Pie
C: Fluttershy
D: Rarity
"Rarity," said Azazel. "Only Fluttershy bites her tail."
"You're right!" said Xavier. "50 points for the red team!"
"No fair!" said Thanos. "We all know he studied tailology alongside Applejack, Abiru Kobushi, and Kahlan Nightwing!"
"Let's see where the score's at," said Xavier. "Blue has 25 points. Green has 70, and Red is in the lead with 135!"
"Chrysalis, Thanos, and I are main villains!" said Sombra. "And The Other is as sinister as any of us! How can we lose to two common minions?"
"The same power Chrysalis feeds off of," said Azazel.
Thanos spun the wheel. It landed on Speed Round. Thanos walked over to Twilight.
"Today's topic is deathlists," said Twilight. "Who kills Emperor Palpatine?"
"Darth Vader."
"Who kills Sauron?"
"Frodo and Gollum."
"Who kills Voldemort?"
"Harry Potter."
"Who kills Andross?"
"Fox."
"Who kills the D-Reaper?"
"Shibumi and MegaGargomon."
"Who kills Dr. Eggman?"
"Nopony, yet."
"Who kills Dumbledore?"
"Snape."
"Who kills Derpy Hooves?"
"Hasbro."
"Who kills Treize Khushrenada?"
"Wufei."
"Who kills Zant?"
"Midna."
"Who kills Fawful?"
"Fawful."
"Who k..."
Time ran out.
"He got all 11 answers right, which is 55 points," said Xavier.
"No fair!" said Azazel. "He knows all about deathlists! He's memorized each one because he wants to court Death!"
Sombra spun the wheel. It landed on Win and Spin! Green won 20 points. Sombra spun again. It landed on Uh-Oh! Discord took Chrysalis into the tank.
"What formation is the longest set of stairs in Ganon's Tower in Ocarina of Time?" said Xavier.
A: Straight
B: Back and forth
C: Zigzag
D: Spiral
"Back and forth like Rarity's tail," said Azazel.
"Spiral," said Sombra.
"You win 50 points!" said Xavier.
"NO FAIR!" said Azazel and Thanos together.
"We all know he studied stairology!" said Thanos. "And he was the only one in the class!"
"It's amazing he's still a blank flank, everypony knows what his cutie mark should be!" said Azazel.
"Crystals!" said Sombra.
Azazel spun the wheel. It landed on The Dump. Azazel put the ball in the pinball machine. It landed on 30 points Red.
"You just won 30 points!" said Twilight.
"And now, the moment everypony has been waiting for," said Xavier. "Who wins the million rubies. Blue is in last with 80 points, Green is in second with 140, and in first, with 165 points, the red team!"
"YES!" said Azazel and Riptide together, Riptide forgetting to be silent as he usually is.
"WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!" said The Other, Thanos, Chrysalis, and Sombra at once.
"Hey!" said Tirek. "I've got a bone to pick with you, King Sombra!"
"What did I do?" said Sombra.
"Because of you, G4 is more hardcore than G1!" said Tirek. "When G1 was the only one where a villain died, namely me, it was most hardcore! That was the one thing G1 had over G4 and now I've been outdone that way too because I never made the Family-Unfriendly Death list!"
Tirek and Sombra began fighting while Rarity gave Azazel and Riptide a chest containing one million rubies.
"I can buy a ring with these," said Azazel. "And put one of the rubies on it as a gemstone."
"Scar!" said Pinkie Pie, breaking the fourth wall as the screen faded out.
All characters are from the X-Men, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, and Avengers series except Tirek who is from G1 of My Little Pony. Also made another appreciative reference to the one and only creator of Bow to the Prince who actually reviewed my Vanishing Tails story and even printed it out. :) Some of the scenes were based off my favorite scenes from Uh-Oh. There was another, about one who answered so many Speed Round questions about color wrong, but I didn't really figure any of the six as dimwitted as him.
