Author's Note: Finally off hiatus with a new and hopefully humorous story. Enjoy! I don't own House or the characters so please don't sue.
"Do you know what I want for Christmas?" House asked.
"Tighter and lower cut shirts for the nurses? Sorry House not gonna happen." Cuddy replied slyly.
"Even better... no clinic duty."
"Also not gonna happen."
"Please mom?"
"No House."
"But wwwhhhy? It's Christmas!"
"All the more reason I need you in clinic duty."
"You're no fun!"
Then Cuddy smirked as she realized something.
"Alright you can have four months off clinic duty."
"Yes!" House exclaimed twirling his cane and doing a victory dance.
"Only if you play Santa for the kids in pediatrics."
"No! Crying kids are the only thing that is worse than clinic duty."
"You do it or you get two extra clinic hours for a month."
"Alright I've changed my mind. I'll play Santa Claus."
"Good have fun. Wouldn't want a chemo kid throwing up on you."
Too bad for House that is exactly what happened.
"That's it kid co-" House began but then saw Cuddy watching and smirking with pride. It was going to be a long day.
"Ho ho ho and all jolly and whatever. So what do you want for Christmas?" House asked forcing a fake smile.
"For the cancer to go away."
"Sorry kid no can do. I'm not as magic as everyone believes. In fact, mommies and daddies-"
House immediately closed his mouth when he saw Cuddy glare at him.
"Listen kid I'm sorry but there are things even magic can't cure but I can promise your last Christmas will be the best day of your short little life. Please send the next kid before all the good and cheer runs away from me."
Kids screamed in his arms, cried, complained, and acted like down right brats. Even the good kids tested House's patience by simply taking too long to think about a gift for Christmas. It was like House's own personal hell. It took about three Vicodin and a hidden flask of scotch to stay within character. He even had a little girl pee on him out of fear which for House was worse than the throw up.
In the end, you would have thought it impossible but House made a great Santa.
Author's Note: A nice little House torture story. Lots of fun... I hope. Please read and review.
