September 1
Ahhh, a fresh spanking new diary. Compliments of my dearest "friend" Bethany, who forgot my birthday (seven months ago). I suppose it's the thought that counts though, right? Actually, Bethany is nowhere near my friend. In fact, if her mother and my mother had not been best mates in school, neither of us would waste our money nor breathe on the other over the holidays. But to please our mothers, we go on group shopping trips (if we can't get out of them as fast as possible), and pretend to tolerate each other. But at school, the field is open and all is fair in this war. Jinxing in the hall, public humiliation, anything to prove that Bethany Knott and Lela Snape are NOT friends. So why do I write in a diary from an enemy? Mostly because I gave it to Peter Pettigrew to test, a small shrimp of a Gryffindor in my year. As nothing happened to him, I expect nothing will happen to me. I mean, Bethany isn't smart enough to know any spells that target specific people. She hangs around Malfoy for petessake. I also know for a fact that this is a re-gift from Bethany's ditzy minion (that's friend in Slytherin speak), whose dad is completely obsessed with muggle artifacts (that's very hush hush though). This is a muggle diary.
What's that? Do I hear Slytherin shrieks in the distance?
Oh wait. That's not over my diary being muggle, someone set off a dung bomb. Ah well, can't blame me for wanting to be important. I'm sitting in my compartment, on the Hogwarts Express, with my most faithful and favorite mudblood (who has hit me in the head with a very large charms book once this is said, though she knows I am only joking) Megan Taylor. Megan's not really a mudblood.... again with the smacking... but she used to have a crush on Sirius Black and when she talked to him, she acted so dense he wanted to know if she was muggleborn. Poor Megan has the misfortune of being in the house of the snakes, Slytherin house. Poor, poor Megan. I tried to fix her one summer, but she just grew ears that resembled a donkey's and I got a warning from the Ministry of Magic. Honestly! A warning! That's the last time I do anything nice or good for the sake of humanity.
Megan is in my year, and the same house as my brother. You see, we are twins (my brother and I, not Megan and I). Fraternal. In fact, we look so different (I get my looks from our aunt while poor Severus got the pale greasy genes) that many people let out screeches of surprise when they find out. "Your Snape's sister?", "bloody hell, what happened to him?", and my favorite "no way." As if blatant denial of my relationship will make it somehow untrue.....
The point is, I have no problem with Slytherins (example A: Megan Taylor across from me), in fact a few are less evil then some Gryffindors. Stop pointing at me, Megan. But, you see, we Gryffindors just have more fun. It's true, though my Slytherin friend is delusional, shown by her laughter at this comment. Take for example last year, Daisy Patil snatched someone's knickers and charmed them to dance around the common room and sing. Mind you, I didn't much enjoy it as they were my knickers; but surely if I had been spectating, I would have thoroughly enjoyed it as well. Megan has brought up the point that perhaps it is just that I am not liked. I counter this by saying that I am liked well enough, I just have a history of hatedness with a few particularly popular people within my house.
You see, the Marauders are quite the troublemakers. This group is made up of the shrimp Peter Pettigrew, Remus Lupin, James Potter, and Sirius Black. Ooh I got three squeals from Megan. How interesting. Unlike Lily Evans, who James Potter has liked (and when I say liked I mean stalked obsessively in an almost disturbing manner) since third year, I have someone who hates me within the Marauders. So while she can lose her temper with them without anything but a bit of teasing, I get pranked for answering a question in Transfiguration that one of the Marauders wished to answer. Megan has just stated that this is not true, that Black seems a bit smitten with me and that we could have lovely big headed children together. I would throw something but my poor friend has obviously lost her mind for Black is the one who hates me from within the group. Besides, the cart just came and I am quite hungry (a common occurrence). Back in a moment.
September 2
True, that was quite a bit more then a moment, but I was very distracted and could not continue to write. Now that it is dark and my dorm mates are asleep (snoring rather loudly may I add), I may explain why I was distracted. After Megan and I had spent nearly all the money in our pockets on chocolate frogs and other such candy (for you see, we are both chocoholics, something we take the up most pride in, I might add.), the door opened. Well, there stood Black, as if he sensed that we had been talking about his big conceited head just moments before. He, however, must have been very lost as our compartment is as far as possible away from the Marauders (as any person with the last name of Snape, who is hated by the Marauders, or is in Slytherin, should sit). Anyway, the poor lost bigheaded boy (known from now on as L.B.H.B) stepped into our compartment and looked around, absolutely baffled. In fact, he was so confused that he gave Megan a look I could not see, but was apparently threatening enough to send her running to the bathroom. The confused L.B.H.B (known as C.L.B.H.B from here on) then sat down in her seat and began to pick at the chocolate frogs. Well, this made me a very confused girl and I decided that raising my eyebrow at him would send my message of 'get out'. Perhaps I'd try giving him one of my brothers scathing looks, accompanied by a glare. I fear that I just scrunched my nose in a look of disgust rather than a scathing look and a glare. There truly is no hope for me, you see.
The C.L.B.H.B smiled, completely aware that I was incapable of glaring at him and actually asked how my summer was. I may not be in smart Ravenclaw, or cunning Slytherin, but I am fully aware that this is not behavior that is usually found from anyone in the Black family. Those who hate each other do not ask each other how their summers were. A prank was on the rise. I should, now that I think about it, have ignored him and given him my would be glare, but my mouth seemed to skip ahead of my reason and say "fine." I was at least happy to hear that my tone was cold as ice. As it should have been. I gave him my scrunched-nose-wish-I-could-glare-daggers-at-you glare as he opened one of my chocolate frogs. Gasp! No one opens my chocolate frogs, they were my babies. Was this the prank? Had he come in to eat all my poor, poor, defenseless chocolate frogs? "Ugh. I always get Morgana," he stated, throwing the card over his shoulder, where it hit the wall.
Truthfully, I didn't really care how often he got Morgana as a card, or that he was dense enough to chuck the card over his shoulder when it was obvious that a wall was there. All I cared was that my poor froggy was now being digested in that C.L.B.H.B (which will now stand for Confused Lost Big Headed Bastard and will have Who is a Chocolate Frog Stealer added to his title. C.L.B.H.B.W.C.F.S.) Well, I could maintain my "glare" no longer since he had now distracted himself with opening every bag and letting the frogs hop about. It was very distracting. "What do you want, Black?" I fear my voice came out in a croak as one frog hopped out of the door. "Only to talk. James is being Head Boy, Remus is reading, and Peter's nowhere to be found." Oh dear, diary. Nothing is more dangerous then a bored member of the Black family, or the Malfoy family (but that is really a different story entirely). I know this as I have often found Severus at the victim end of the bored boy who at that moment sat across from me. I asked "So, come to prank me, Black?" The little frog eating bastard gave me the most shocked, innocent looking face in the history of such faces and said that he had no idea what I was talking about and why would he want to prank me? As if, diary! Luckily, before I could possibly recount all the reasons why he would want to prank me, my number one reason appeared at the door and gave Black his best scathing look and glare.
For, diary, my brother knows how to do it best. I fear that while I got the less greasy genes, he received the emotionless eyes and scathing looks. Life simply is not fair.
I was quite pleased to see him, until I smelled the dung bomb on him. They smell worse then Aunt Bertha's feet, if I even had an Aunt Bertha to compare it to. Well, dearest brother and the C.L.B.H.B.W.C.F.S greeted each other as they normally did and then big brother jumped in with a "What are you doing with my sister?" As if he caught us snogging or something terribly naughty like that. "Just chatting with my good friend Lela here," Black replied. This was the prank, I'm sure, get the scathing glare on me! I gave Black my best scrunched nose/disgusted look and stood, rolling my eyes at my brother so he understood that in fact, I would rather go and hang around Bethany then this C.L.B.H.B.W.C.F.S. He seemed to get the message for as I left, I heard him begin to hiss something to Black and I recalled, sadly, that all my chocolate lay in the soon to be battlefield. The death of so many innocent chocolate frogs by something other then my consumption made me very depressed. So depressed that I bought some cauldron cakes. My love is a fickle thing.
Today, I had classes. It sucked. Bethany started the year by ruining my potion and making Professor Slughorn take off points, even though he does like me a bit. I'm no Slugclub girl but I am fairly close to it. I have nearly won him over with my natural charm (did I just hear a snort of laughter from my sleeping dorm mate? Can they read my mind?! Oh wait... she swallowed a fly. I feel better knowing that Daisy Patil is hacking because of a fly rather then laughing at my thoughts). Anyway, then I traveled to Divination with Megan, the stupidest class in the history of classes, then Charms, and then Transfiguration. Such a busy day that I had no time to write anything down. For you see, I had nothing to write down. I will try better later.
September 7
I am abnormally happy! In fact, Megan has checked my temperature three times already because I have been skipping wherever I go. I have been given the honor by the headmaster and McGonagall to commentate for quidditch matches. I am so excited. Nothing is better then watching boys flying around on brooms. Except maybe watching boys walking around without shirts..... but that is a different story for a time when I feel the need to make up a story.
The second reason why I am so happy is that I, Lela Snape, have gotten Bethany Knott in trouble. I know it is a terrible thing to rejoice at, but can you hear me giggling with glee? No? I shall cackle instead then. The wrinkly bat of a librarian just glared at me, so I must cackle quietly. I must say, it is much less evil and I'm sure wherever my dear brother is, his ears are burning with embarrassment to have such a sister. Anyway, it happened quite simply, you see, I was walking down the hall and stopped as I turned the corner. It was like one of those old muggle westerns I've snuck out to see when Severus wasn't looking. I, the good sheriff, was at the far end of the town (hallway) and she, the evil cattle wrangler, was at the other. She had her whole band of bandits, all stopped their rowdy thieving and looting to stare at me, glares and whispers passing around. One of them looked at Bethany for advice, and she whispered something devious, nodding towards the hallway behind them. They left down it, glaring at me as they went. "Sheriff," she nodded, a smirk coming onto her bandit mouth. I nodded, giving her my best intimidating look as I rested my hand on my pistol at my hip. "What are you doin' 'round these here parts, Knott?" I questioned, taking a step forward as I chewed on a piece of straw stuck in my mouth. "Reckon I'm here for potions," she replied, cracking her neck as she moved her fingers, ready to reach for her pistols and shoot at me. Well, no one does that to the Sheriff! "Thanks for the diary," I commented off handily. I stepped closer to the stairs leading down to the dungeon, if this showdown didn't finish up soon, we'd be late. And the concerned we really only applies to me, for all I care Bethany Knott can go jump in the lake, though that may not be sheriff-ish thoughts. I spat (is it spat or spitted? point is I *past tense of spit*) out the straw piece and smirked at her. (Okay, I'm carried away. Back to the real dialogue. Too many movies.)
Well, we stared at each other until she smirked and began to waltz towards me. "Your welcome. Your just lucky my mum wouldn't let me jinx it, or all your silly little secrets would be all over the school." She let out a cackle that wasn't at all attractive, not like my cackle, which suits me quite well with a ladylike quality to it that makes it so elegant that I may just laugh like that all the time. No, her cackle was demonic, like an evil water imp coming to steal your chocolate frogs. Anyway, she continued, fingering her wand, "Then again, I could jinx you to do it yourself." She pulled out her wand but for some odd reason I was ready. "Hypnosis" I declared, sending a jet of light straight at her head. Diary, I have never hypnotized anyone with that spell, in fact usually someone ends up with singed eyebrows. This time, however, it worked and I got her to go back to her common room until the end of class, when she marched into potions and told Professor Slughorn that she was sorry she couldn't make it to potions, but she'd bring him some doughnuts later (she ended by calling him Professor Fatty McFat-Fat). I felt delightfully evil for the whole potions period. She has a week of detention. Insert evil laughter here please. Oops, here comes the librarian, I fear she'll kick me out.
September 9
It is far to early in the morning. You will have to excuse the oatmeal drops on the pages because I am not fully awake and seem incapable of aiming and succeeding to make the oatmeal into my mouth. The only problem with being a Gryffindor with only Gryffindor acquaintances is that I can hear snickering and there is no one to glare angrily at the snicker-ers. I am also far too tired to perform a cleaning charm. I wouldn't be up if Patil's friend, Elizabeth Smith, hadn't started snoring at about 4 o'clock in the morning. No amount of silence charms could save me. I miss fired and soon was more awake then asleep. Unfortunately, that's not saying much. Ew. I just spilled jam in my lap. Those giggles are far too cheerful and I think I should send the jam to them. Their laps look too clean.
I am here before half of Hogwarts population, which is very sad. Now that I think of it, Megan isn't even up, and she's the one who usually laughs at my exaggerated yawns as I enter. The only people at the Gryffindor table are Lily Evans, Patil (also looking tired), Remus Lupin, some third years (snickering), and a first year. And Black has just entered the room, walking as if it were not far to early, and winking at passing girls. If I were in better humor, I'd find it funny how they swoon, especially Patil, but I'm not and therefore I don't. What an annoying git. I just realized that my hair is especially messy, lovely. Jam in my lap and messy hair. I'm a right beauty. At least I don't have to worry about his gitness coming and sitting near me, with my jam in my lap.
Damn. Spoke to soon. Now he's sitting across from me, buttering his toast as if he always sits next to exhausted people with jam in their laps and absurdly messy hair. Who he hates. Have I mentioned we don't like each other? It's not a one sided hatred. It's fairly mutual, I assure you. At least I don't have to be bothered with conversation.
Damn it! He just said "Good morning, Snape". I take it that's me, as my brother is not present and I don't have any cousins who attend Hogwarts, as far as I know. Oh, why am I so cousin-less? I suppose I will have to answer with a good morning, but I think I'll grunt instead, maybe he'll bugger off and get the point that I'm in no mood for his pranks or jokes.
He's a git. He is now smiling at me, despite the grunt, and it grows to a grin when I miss my mouth and stab my cheek with my spoon. He's laughing at my jam lap, absurdly messy hair, and spooned cheek. Bloody hell I hate the mornings. Maybe if I ignore him, he'll go and flirt with Patil who is now glaring at me, fiercely. It's her own fault for that damn friend of hers. Patil should charm her snores to be soothing lullabies. I should have done that. Stupid stupid stupid.
Can he not see I am in the middle of mentally kicking myself? Now he's trying to talk to me. Why, fates, why? Is this punishment for what I did to Bethany? Black is going to converse with me at this ungodly hour?! You couldn't wait until I was fully awake and had a jam less lap, nice hair, and an unspooned cheek? You have a terribly cruel sense of humor. There he goes again. As if I care about how long it took him to do his transfiguration essay. Just because it took him one day instead of the three it took me doesn't mean I'm impressed. Though it does show he is very smart. Ahh! Look at the delirium caused by jam in my lap, a spooned cheek, and absurdly messy hair! It is making me think about Black in a way that is not hating. Bad! MAKE HIM STOP TALKING!! I see I will have to take this in my own hands. Oh dear... I've dropped some egg now..... I was quite looking forward to eating those too. A moment of silence.
In history of magic, much later
Now that I am much more awake, I can recount the odd events that occurred when I took things into my own hands and since. Because the fates neglected me and left me to my own defenses, Black sat there, talking, brushing his hair from his eyes, waving at a girl or two (and I get glares because apparently they expected a wink or something. Take him, please. I beg of you! My internal pleas did nothing), and then talking some more. I really didn't give a flobberworm's tush about what he was saying (something about the weather and it's perfect flying weather. Did I note a suggestive tone? Suggestive for a prank! Finally, when I could take no more of his yapping for the intense headache it was giving me, I decided to try a new tactic. I threw down my spoon and splattered us both with oatmeal (I mean I was covered in my breakfast anyway). This stopped his talking as he looked at me, half shocked, half smirking, probably thinking I was a complete spas who couldn't aim for her mouth when eating. Though this is true in the morning, the smirk infuriated me.
"Black," I announced in a tone quite close to the one Lily uses with Potter. "I don't care. I really don't." He looked completely confused and now that I look back on it, a bit cute, though he is Sirius Black and his cuteness is overpowered by his arseness. "Don't care?" he asked confused. Poor child. So often confused. He just could not believe that I did not care about his many opinions on the weather, fascinating as the subject always is. "Listen," I snapped, waving my wand so all the jam and oatmeal on my face and lap disappeared, (and my hair was less absurdly messy). "It's early, Patil's bloody friend woke me up with her bloody snoring, I want to go to sleep, and you are giving me a bloody headache. I don't care about the weather or your essay. In fact, the only thing I care about at the moment," and at this point my voice was very loud indeed. "All I care about is seeing your retreating back and NOT HEARING YOUR BLOODY VOICE ANYMORE!" Well, there was a shocked silence as I realized that everyone in the Great Hall (which was now quite full) was staring at me, and Black took in what I said. If I had not been in such an annoyed mood and wasn't talking to Black, I would have felt a tad bit sad for the hurt look that came over his face, but I had seen him pull this face with many teachers and was not swayed. "Are you saying you like my back view?" He whispered it, but everyone could hear. He had that smirk again. Ooh I hate that smirk so much. I hate it more than a jam filled lap! A few people giggled and I felt sure it was more at me than the comment. That just burnt my toast terribly, which is not good because I hate burnt toast, and I mean really hate. I once burned my toast and was so filled with hatred that I threw it out a window with as much force as I could muster. In fact I prefer my toast a very light brown. I am quite specific on this matter. Where was I? Oh yes: "I am saying that you, Sirius Black, are the most annoying git I have ever had the unpleasantness to have met and know," here I paused so he could get this first part in (he's slow so the pause is necessary). "I have completely lost my appetite." With that I stood and threw my bag over my shoulder, stomping off. I heard from Megan that Black made a large show of being heartbroken by my insults and now girls from Black's fan club are giving me death glares. I have surely made at least twenty new enemies, in each house. Just what I need. The saddest part is that I hadn't lost my appetite at all. And now, I am very hungry as this morning hardly any food actually made it to my mouth. Sadness, and much of it.
Oddly enough, from this display I have made a semi-ally it seems. For as I was in the bathroom, I heard Lily Evans and Daisy Patil come in fighting ferociously. Lily, it seemed, believed that Black had everything that I said coming to him, as the majority of it, if not all, was true (smart girl, she is. Don't care what Severus says. I like her). Patil, meanwhile, claimed that I was, in her words, "a stuck up prick," for being so mean and rude to the poor dear. She claimed that I had simply crushed him and he was refusing to speak to anyone, which was completely untrue because I'd heard him talking to Potter loudly as I left Transfiguration. He, if I recall correctly, had been boasting of knowing where the kitchen was and I'm sure it was just to taunt me because he knows I had little success eating breakfast. Anyone who could be so cold hearted deserved what was coming to him, be that enemies or heartbreak (back to quoting Patil on me). Patil hoped that Black would get over me so that he could prank me as normal. Lily seemed to take this quite personally and demanded to know if this meant that she was a stupid prick for rejecting the big headed Potter. Patil let out a cackle and said that yes she was. Then they both stomped off. Poor Lily, being friends with a git like Patil, whose cackle really isn't very elegant at all. Actually rather gnome like, and trust me, that is not a pleasant sound. Especially when they are cackling while running off with your perfectly browned toast. Lily was apparently so mad that she is sitting next to me. I feel like the motorcycle rebel boyfriend a girl dates only to rebel against her parents. So used yet to apathetic to care.
Now as I sit here in History of Magic, I am getting a plotting look from Black. He has most likely taken Patils advice. I must be the only girl in our year he has not snogged, excepting those in Slytherin, but really he holds a deep hatred for the house. I think he fears their cooties. Maybe I should ask dearest Severus for some cooties. I fear Black wishes to complete the snogged-every-girl-in-my-year-excepting-cootie-slytherins goal of his. What will my dear brother say? A prank will bring me around, Black, I guarantee it. What a git. Ahh, well. Better to be pranked by Black then annoyed. At least when he's being mean towards me it's natural, none of this pretend Black that seems human.
September 16
Am doing horribly in Transfiguration. Got a T on my last test. Maybe in trouble. T is for troll........ I feel as if I've been called fat.... that hurts, especially since I have a special fondness for food, possibly matched only by Potter's declared fondness for Lily. In short, it is my one and true love. Yet I never get fat, so it simply encourages my love further. But now that I know I am a troll, I may have to eat smarter food. I wonder what James Potter, Transfiguration boy wonder, eats.
September 20
If I don't finish my essay for Transfiguration I may be in deep shite. I got another pop quiz back, and I got a horrible grade. I'm just not as good at Transfiguration as Potter and Black. I used to be like them, but then I got better. More reason to despise Black. He has tried to lure me into his "Mr. Nice-guy" prank again. This time in the library where I sat innocently doing my homework. He sat down and actually asked to borrow my book. When I said I was using it he scooted closer to share. Can't he let me be? And why does Megan disappear whenever he appears?! I need moral support so I am not sent to Azkaban for murder! He finally annoyed me so greatly, turning in his chair to whisper things in my ear about the upcoming quidditch match and about me cheering for him to win and what not, that I stood and left my book, saying he could use it and to tell me when he was finished. Obviously, I was distracting him. He nodded and said something about pretty girls distracting him, and I told him to shove it up his arse. But, I said it very ladylike because I am a woman of high society who has attended many etiquette classes. So, you mustn't think me rude, diary. Doesn't he know that people who are called fat and trolls are never in a good mood?
September 23
Excellent. Brilliant. This is not sarcasm. WE WON! We beat Slytherin. Megan is glaring at me because I'm whistling ever so happily. What a show it was... I think I had a Quick Quotes Quill (say that five times fast) write down everything that was said... let me just find it. Ahh here we go, I'll just use a pasting spell...
Ahhhhh what a beautiful day for a quidditch match. I'm Lela Snape, incase you aren't aware. And yes, Patil, I heard that snotty remark all the way up here. Do you mind, I'm trying to commentate. I'll be commentating today. As we wait for the quidditch teams, it's best I do some announcements their paying me to-oh wait. I'm not getting paid! Sod the announcements! Only joking, Professor. I have to tell all of you blokes and lassies down there that the Head girl is disgusted in your PDA. That's public display of affection in case your a troll. And here comes the teams. First, in a stunning emerald green (and I'm only saying that because I have to), the Slytherin team. That's Malfoy as captain and chaser, Knott as chaser, Zabini as chaser, Lestrange as beater, Black as seeker, Silvertongue as keeper, and Macnair as beater. Quite interesting that Malfoy's whole group of friends made the team, only an observation though. Here's the Gryffindor team! That's Potter as captain and chaser, Black close behind him as beater, Wood as chaser, Longbottom as keeper, Wilkinson as chaser, Patil as beater, aaaand Dickinson as seeker. It should be an interesting game as both teams have new players, in the seeker and chaser positions.
They wait for the whistle.............. and their off. The quaffle is up and Potter takes it, flies left, flies right, ooo right around Malfoy, that'll hurt his ego. Passes it to Wood. Wait... did Potter just pass? That's new... oh, the glares from the fanclub really burn through me. Wood passes to Wilkinson who darts past Macnair and is nearly hit by a bludger and bat! Watch it Macnair, that's against the rules! Aaaaaaaannnnddddd Wilkinson passes to Potter who aims and shoots. It's past Silvertongue! Ten points to Gryffindor! It goes on like that for quite a bit until it started to rain. I lost the other pages in the storm,but here is the last...
YES! GRYFFINDOR SCORES! That makes the score 50 to 30. And what's this? I feel raindrops. Lets finish this up Gryffindor before we get too wet. Malfoys got the quaffle he's zipping down the field and throws but, wow! The quaffle is hit right to Potter by a well placed bludger from either Black or Patil. No professor, I just didn't see who it was, I know they look nothing alike. Potter zips down the field and, it's really starting to pour now. Blimey, I can barely see what's going on now. Someone make it stop a bit! Wait! I see Potter throwing the ball and..... yes! It's past the keeper! 60 to 30, Gryffindor lead. Come on you bloody seekers, lets catch the snit-what's that? The Slytherin spectators seem to have spotted something gold. And they aren't alone. Black has started towards it. But where has it got to? Black seems to see it, and Dickinson is close behind. Meanwhile, Potter is scoring point after point on the idiot keeper! Stop watching your seeker and play, prat. The score is 100 to 30. Black and Dickinson are neck and neck. Yikes! That was lightning! It's getting dangerous out here. Black's reaching out for the snitch, come on Dickinson.
OH MY! Am I the only one who heard that snap? Sounds like that bludger just snapped Black's wrist! That had to hurt! And the sender of said bludger, Black, is cackling merrily as Dickinson catches the snitch! Yes, merrily. Honestly, did you all think he wasn't aiming for her wrist? GRYFFINDOR WINS 250 TO 30! It seems Potter is pulling over to the Gryffindor spectators area.... oh wait, no. He just ran into it. Someone get down there to give the poor kid a charm so he can see through those glasses!
Happy happy happy! heehee. Not even the ever-lasting shadow of failing Transfiguration could spoil my mood! I mean the fact that McGonagall has told me I can't commentate unless my grade improves saddens me, but only momentarily. This smile will not be moved!!!
September 30
I should probably explain, more for my own benefit then anyone else's, where the hatred for Black came from... on his part. When I first came to school, life was looking good. My brother had been sorted into Slytherin where he made many "acquaintances" and I had been sorted into Gryffindor where I had made many acquaintances. No friends... just acquaintances. This is when Lily Evans, Patil, and I would walk about and talk. When second year rolled about, the Marauders began to awaken. You see, the first year was just small pranks: a dungbomb here, muggle dye there, but it would seem that all through the summer between 1st and 2nd year, they had been researching for when they came back. The pranks where much more humiliating. This noted, I should say that it all came down to the prank set up for Christmas. You see, Black had a crush on Patil, and she on he, though neither would admit it for Black was already forming a heartbreaker status and Patil was starting her flirting status. Really they'd make a lovely couple, I can just see them cheating on one another every chance they got. Well the Marauders thought of a prank in which they would lure Patil down the stairs and under magic mistletoe, which would make anyone under it reveal their secrets, in hopes that Patil would admit her crush. Charming, I know.
As it happened, the Marauders miscalculated. For you see, Patil had already gone to breakfast when they called for her. I walked down to tell them that she'd left and found myself stuck to the ground, Sirius Black spilling his crush. Unfortunately, the common room was full as he continued to spill more and more secrets, each of growing embarrassment (one involving a night light, ghost story, and wetting the bed rings a bell). Poor Black. I would have felt sorry for him but he exclaimed that I had set him up! Half of the Gryffindor population hated me and, to make things ten times worse, he began playing pranks on me! For he seemed to believe I had tricked HIM under the mistletoe. As if I would ever want to be stuck under ANYTHING, especially mistletoe, with the likes of him. I would be disowned from my beloved brother's family. Well! How rude can you get?! I hate him mostly for the aftereffect of his thinking this: pranks, humiliation, and overall annoyances that come from being such an undeniable git. That is why I hate him and he hates me because he is an idiot to think that I would not hex him whenever he pranked me. This all said...
It is strange that he is sitting right next to me, quietly reading a book across the table, and not making a peep. That's right, I dropped a pencil and it was so quiet that I heard it echo. Didn't even look up from his book. I suspect porn is hidden behind it, for nothing else could get a boy like this one to be so quiet except very naked girls that he wishes for no one to realize he is admiring. My other, and more likely suspicion due to the fact that the prude of a librarian has a nose for filth such as that, is a prank. Honestly, any person next to a quiet (yes QUIET) Sirius Black should be wary. I would tell him to go away, but last time I opened my mouth, just when he sat down to snap that the seat was taken, I noticed his hand, which was bandaged, and my traitorous mouth asked what had happened. He looked at his wrist and said it was simply a sprain. It would be better tomorrow and he didn't want to go to Madam Pomfrey for some nasty potion. Then he sat and began to read. I fear to open my mouth again would reveal something else. Like my need for toast and chocolate or something along that line of thought, my deep secrets. I would move but this is MY table and I refuse to move away from something I had first. You see, dear diary, it's all about power, though, I must admit that with the noon sunlight falling on his head, he does look quite cute. If Megan hears me say that she will squeal with glee and say that she knew, deep down, I thought Black was a hottie. But I don't. I just mentioned he
Later in the common room
I have never been so humiliated and angry in my life! I knew that a Black sitting across from me would bring about horrible things. Just as I was about to write how I had only mentioned he was cute, my diary was ripped from my hands by an evil Malfoy (though that's repetitive and redundant). Malfoy, I fear, has a long friend history (and a bit more than a friend from what I hear) with Bethany. He took the diary and flipped through the pages, not truly reading much, and smirked as if it were completely juvenile for a 17 year old to write in a diary. Which is truly offensive coming from an oversized rat such as him. The dialogue went as so:
Malfoy the Oversized Rat boy (known as M.O.R. from here on): Snape, what are you doing writing in this muggle junk. Don't you have any dignity?
Me *scrunching my nose to glare at Rat boy, the most under appreciated villain*: It's quite obvious that I am writing the strange events that have ensued within the Hogwarts castle. Surely the day that Black sits across the table from a Snape without a hex, jinx, or single nasty word should be recorded.*Black looks up* As should the day an overgrown rat walks the grounds, though I have seen it for so many years I hardly think it noteworthy.
M.O.R: Rat? *Oh he was so confused, perhaps all boys are confused by me. I feel so powerful!*
Me: Yes Malfoy, old chap. I fear that overgrown rats are quite frequent here. Alas, I have not enough pages to describe my distaste in your clan. *Did I hear a snicker?*
M.O.R:*Turning pink* If you weren't Snape's sister...
Me: What would you do, Lucy? Feel free to simply go mad. Imagine that I am a blood traitor, for I sense it is on the tip of your tongue.
:*Whips out wand* An excellent point Snape (because I'm stupid and all my brilliant ideas get me hexed or in trouble. Hear my sigh, diary?)
I stared at the wand for a moment before reaching for my diary. More worried he'd use that against me. Sure enough he flipped to the back page and waved his wand, using one of those damn silent spells. He then tossed it to me and as soon as it hit my hands I began to babble about everything that came to mind. How I thought Malfoy should go shove a broom up his arse (adding in a few more colorful words) but how it probably wouldn't fit due to the stick already wedged in there and even worse, how I'd thought Black looked rather dashing (yes... dashing) in his school uniform. I fear I would have gone on and on, tears of embarrassment now filling my eyes (just what I need, crying to make my life worse. The fates are laughing at me, I'm sure), but a knight in shining armor saved me. Unfortunately, it was Black. He muttered "silencio" and I continued to move my mouth though no sound came out. Then he turned to Malfoy and jinxed him into next week. I would have cheered but I was fully and undeniably humiliated. So instead, I jumped up and ran from the library, mouth still moving. Well, I stopped babbling about ten minutes ago, but my face will forever be this lovely shade of scarlet. It is only the end of September and already I have ruined my school year. I am now hiding up in my dorm, curtains pulled around my bed. I think I'll go for a fly. I could use it.
