Warning: spoilers from LoS ahead.
For one of the first few times in his life, Kit was extremely unsure of himself.
I mean, when had he ever hung awkwardly in a doorway, caring whether he might be welcome or not? He could just strut right on in, voicing all of his opinions while he was at it.
And yet something about the back of Ty Blackthorn's head made him pause. It was incredibly still, not a sound coming from the other boy, and that unnerved Kit. He wasn't unused to Ty's silences, in fact he took those opportunities to admire the Blackthorn's features while he was deep in thought. However, this was not one of those silences. This was a deadly soundless atmosphere, full of pain and loneliness.
Ty hadn't spoken a word since it had happened. The last sound Kit could remember him making was his heartbroken cry over Livy's body. It was the most dreadful thing Kit had ever heard and it haunted him in his nightmares. Her death had broken her brother, in ways unimaginable, and though all the Blackthorns were ripped to pieces over it, Kit knew it had destroyed Tiberius in an entirely different way. He was a husk, a walking zombie. Livy had been his anchor, a way of rooting him to the real world lest he floated too far away. Without her he was slowly getting lost to sea, and Kit could do nothing but helplessly watch.
I don't know what to do.
This thought played over and over again in his mind as he stared at the back of the other boy's head. His hands were shaking. I don't know what to do.
He should leave, before Ty saw him. He needs to deal with his grief right now. And yet it didn't feel right. His mind flashed back to the time on the roof.
Put your arms around me.
He'd been wanted then, needed then, and to be needed by Ty made him feel dizzy with something he couldn't describe. But Kit wasn't sure if he was needed now, and that made him feel just as lost as Ty probably felt.
I don't know what to do.
And so, as reckless as he was, Kit went into the room anyway, trying not to think too much as he collapsed next to Ty on the sofa. The reaction was instantaneous. Ty's grey eyes fixed on him immediately, and he yanked out the earbuds from his ears. Kit caught the muffled sound of a tune he didn't know.
"Hey." Kit said quietly, unable to hold eye contact with the other boy. He focused on one of the fallen earbuds, dangling down Ty's chest. It was something about that grey gaze that made his heart thump harder; he felt a strong urge to never want to disappoint those eyes, and yet knowing him, he probably would.
"I haven't seen you in a long time." Kit looked up at that quickly. Ty hadn't stopped watching him, and his lips were parted. He almost looked relieved, but what could he possibly be relieved about?
"I wanted to give you space. I know you like the quiet." Ty shook his head.
"The quiet gets too loud sometimes." Kit nodded, understanding exactly what Ty meant. "It's too much, and I like how you can change that."
Kit, to his annoyance, felt himself blush. "I'm sorry. If I'd have known you'd wanted…" what? "Um, I'm sorry."
Ty finally broke their shared gaze, and Kit exhaled. "I keep wondering if there's a life after death. Not ghosts, but something else. Like a land with angels-"
"Heaven." In all honesty, Kit had only interrupted Ty to break him out of the trance he'd seemed to be steadily falling into. This wasn't the best subject to be discussing, Kit thought wearily, especially after Livy.
Ty made a humming sound of acknowledgment. Before he could say anything else, Kit quickly intervened, "I was wondering if you would watch something with me?" Ty caught his eye instantly, and his face seemed to light up. He looked alive, more so than he ever had done before over these past couple of weeks. Beautiful.
A lock of dark hair fell in front of his eyes. "Of course. What did you have in mind?"
Kit smiled, almost a smirk but not quite. "Oh, just a little something you might appreciate."
He grabbed the remote and turned on the tv, catching Ty's small smile out of the corner of his eye. Well shit, that just made this terrible plan worth it.
He heard a quiet chuckle when he found what he was looking for: Sherlock. "It's really good I promise." He said quickly and animatedly, "There's one of my favourite actors in it, Benedict Cumberbatch, and wow that sounds like a Shadowhunter name now I think about it and…"
Kit clamped his lips shut to stop his own rambling. Since when did he ramble?
Ty didn't seem to mind. "I've heard of this before, I think. I still like the books more but-"
"Shh, it's good, I promise." Placing the remote back on the table, he lay back on the sofa, anxiously looking over at Ty, whose expression was cool and interested.
They began the first episode, A Study in Pink ("That's not right at all, it's supposed to be A Study in Scarlet-" "Shh") with Ty making comments throughout - some corrections, some just observations. Kit smiled at each one, finding it both comforting and endearing. This was the Ty he'd missed: the one that would spout random facts, say blunt things without meaning to be blunt, notice things that no one else would. He wasn't normal, and that's what Kit lo-
"That was quite enjoyable." Ty suddenly said, and Kit realised they'd finished the first episode. He hadn't even noticed.
"You liked it?" Kit asked hopefully, and was rewarded with a nod.
"I like Sherlock and Watson's relationship. They're supposedly incompatible but work well together."
"Like us." Shit. He hadn't meant to say that out loud. Ty turned to him. He smiled and Kit had officially forgotten how to breathe. Seriously, this was probably what an asthma attack felt like.
"Yeah. Like us." Unable to say another word, Kit hurriedly grabbed the remote, clicking on the next episode, his cheeks burning. Thankfully, it was beginning to get dark and he hoped that Ty wouldn't be able to see his flush. Though knowing Ty, he would probably think that Kit had a fever or something. He wouldn't think for a second that-
That what?
Just focus on the damn tv show. His plan had worked the way he wanted it to: Ty was blissfully distracted, at least for a short period of time. But what about him? He was getting distracted all right. Shut up.
And then as it got darker, Kit's eyelids drooped further. His body gradually leant sideways and everything was black…
"Kit, do you want to put the next one on? Kit?" He opened his eyes, startled, to see Ty watching him curiously. His back felt warm.
"I, um…" He moved and quickly realised two things. One: he was lying on top of Ty. Two: Ty's hand was at the back of his neck, gently brushing against the baby hairs there and it shouldn't feel that damn good. He knew he should move, but he was tired and the other boy was so warm and comfortable to lie against…
"Do you want to turn it off?" Ty suddenly asked, pulling Kit out of his hazy reverie. He looked unsure, awkward (exactly how Kit had been feeling earlier) and Kit was fast to reassure him.
"Of course not! I just-" he yawned, stretching a bit, unconsciously pressing his body closer against the other's. "Just a bit tired, Ty. I'll perk up, I promise." He tried to wink, but it was probably too slow to be smooth.
Ty was appeased nonetheless, a bright smile on his face once again that made Kit feel too many things at once. He reached over to put the next episode on, and they both fell into a friendly silence to watch. That it until Ty started stroking Kit's hair and the Herondale made a sound that he hoped wasn't a moan.
The Blackthorn looked down at him in alarm, quickly retracting his hand, "Sorry, I just fidget and-"
"No, it's ok…" Kit cleared his throat loudly, "It's fine, honestly. It just surprised me, that's all." He knew Ty fidgeted a lot, and the idea of him touching Kit in search of comfort and distraction made the blonde boy bite down hard on his lip to stop another highly suggestive sound.
Which wasn't suggestive, he reminded himself firmly. He was just surprised, like he'd said.
And then slowly, as if still unsure, Ty's hand found its way back into his hair, gently combing through it, occasionally scratching his nape. Kit had to stop himself from rolling his eyes into the back of his head and letting out a sigh of pure contentment and bliss. A part of him was extremely pissed at himself. He was acting like a damn golden retriever for crying out loud.
I can't exactly blame surprise this time.
And yet Ty didn't seem to notice Kit's discomfort - or rather his extreme comfort. His eyes never left the tv, a look of concentration on his face that Kit could marvel at for hours. He was oblivious…
Oblivious to what? Kit frowned to himself. What was happening? Nothing. He was overreacting, that's it. He was just tired, and Ty's attention was lulling him. And the heat of the other's boy body was just a nice contrast to how cold he'd been before.
His rambling in his head (seriously, again? ) came to an abrupt halt when Ty laughed. The sound was so rare - a treasure - that the whole world seemed to come to a standstill. Kit looked at the tv, wanting to know what had caused it, only to see that Moriarty had showed up.
He chuckled too. The swimming pool scene was one of his favourites amongst the whole series.
And then it ended, the screen dimming to black. They were plunged into darkness and Kit could hear his own haggard breathing. The fingers in his hair stilled, much to his disappointment.
"I think I want to stop watching now." Ty whispered.
"Oh, ok." Kit whispered back. Why were they whispering? "Are you tired?"
"I think so." A beat. "I don't feel like going back to my room."
"Me neither."
They both laid next to each other, not moving or making another sound. Until Kit, feeling daring, moved so his cheek was resting against Ty's chest. Maybe it was the dark that was giving him that extra courage, or simply the fact that he was too tired to care.
Kit could hear Ty's heartbeat and, to his delight, he felt it quicken at his closeness. The fingers in his hair left, only to gently stroke down his spine and back up again, a mesmerising pattern. Kit let out a sigh.
"Kit?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you think she's at peace?"
Kit wrapped his arms around Ty's waist, holding him tighter. "I know she is."
He heard Ty swallow. "It's just that… she understood me. She knew what made me happy and she knew what didn't. Livy was-" His voice cracked and Kit's heart broke at the sound.
"Livy's watching over you, ok? Every waking moment, she's there." And Kit, who personally didn't think an afterlife such as Heaven existed, found himself believing what he was saying. "You can be happy without her. She'd want you to be."
"I do feel happy sometimes. Like when you're with me."
Kit couldn't help the ridiculous smile that spread across his face. He felt tears start to well up in his eyes but blinked them back hurriedly. "Me too, Ty."
And then they both fell asleep.
Sorry if they seem a little OOC, it's been a while since I've read LoS and I kind of struggled trying to get back into these characters. Hopefully I did them justice ':)
KiTy is one of my favourite ships to date, which is weird since I haven't written about them until now. They're so adorable it hurts.
And to everyone who wants them to be parabatai: we don't need another Emma/Julian situation on our hands thanks, lol.
Also, RIP Livy: an angel that went far too soon.
