Synopis: A Father's Heart

Time: Three months after Caine left Peter on the street.

Storyline: Caine reflects deeply on his own reasons for leaving, and finds a deep pain within himself.

Note: There are so many stories of Peter during the six months when Caine was gone. There just isn't enough on Caine, and how he must have felt in having to leave Peter. These are my thoughts on what he must have felt.

Disclaimer: Just borrowing them, will return them hopefully in better shape than I found them.

A Father's Heart

By Alisa Joaquin

Three months came and went. It was all Caine could do to keep himself from going back. The job had been done, the young Emperor was safe, he could move on, but what he felt in his heart was anguish. Whether it was his own or another's he could not tell. Maybe his heart reflected the other, but he just wasn't so sure. The path that he was on had become so obscure.

Nine months ago, Caine had been certain, ever so certain that his son was gone. He believed after not finding his son's essence for all those many years that his son's soul had returned to the source of all things. And after determining that, all that was left to him was his honor and the honor of his family. With that restored, he could move on, find someone else to love and start over, but he truly did not expect to find Peter alive. Well, in truth, it was Peter who found him.

Caine drew a deep sigh. Remembering the sight of that tall young man standing in the hospital room, telling him about his father, the story so familiar, the pain so raw. It felt like a dream and yet it was true. Peter was alive, and yet when he held his son in his arms, something deep inside of Caine told him otherwise. There was something different about this young man. This could not be Peter, could it? His memory of Peter was of a growing young boy of 12. He had to know for certain, so he stayed, not for the sake of his son, but for the sake of his honor.

Those six months were a blur. So many lives taken, so many lives saved. This young man who wielded a gun was so contrary to the son of his memories, and yet they appeared to be the same. It was so confusing. Caine's heart ached for the son that was lost to him. How could life be so cruel? The son who was now an adult was a stranger to him. How could he accept this young man in his heart? How could he love someone who was so different from him? And yet, he did. He kept trying to tell himself that this was Peter, this was his son, only more so, but every time the gun came between them.

Still, there were moments of spending time together to learn once again of each other's heart. Caine learned that this young man was a man, and knew his own heart. And when that young man followed him to help protect the young Emperor, Caine could not have been more proud, but once that job was done Caine became blinded. He did not know whether to go or stay. This young man certainly was capable of taking care of himself. The gun saw to that, and yet the young man was also remembering the training that he received at the temple. For that Caine could be grateful. Within those six months Peter became proficient in kung fu where he could use both the gun and his defensive skills if he chose. Caine hoped it would be less of the gun and more of kung fu.

Then a deep fear entered Caine's heart. 'Peter does not need me,' he thought. 'He has many friends, even another father. A father who took care of him during that most difficult time when a boy needs it the most, the time when the boy grows into a man. I am not needed.'

Caine wept at that notion. His son was gone, no longer the little boy of the temple, but a young man, a young man who did not need him, or so he thought.

Caine picked up his meager belongings and began walking once again. It was going to take time, time to reflect on all that he had learned about this young man and whether he could accept and love him for who he was. He hoped Peter would understand, but the look in the young man's eyes told him differently. He was trying so hard to understand, but it was difficult for him to accept Caine leaving just as it was difficult for Caine to leave. He had no choice. If he didn't leave someone or something else would have driven him on. In this way, both father and son could reflect on the time they had together and truly know what is in their hearts for each other.

Caine remembered the promise that he had made to Peter. "I need some time for reflection. Please, my son, it is something I must do. I promise, I shall return. I love you my son."

Caine took comfort in those words. He would return, he just did not know when that would be. Perhaps by then, Caine would have learned to accept the young man who carried a gun, the young man who carried the essence of that little boy of his memories inside. And perhaps, he would be needed again.

End