Almost two years after warning Lavellan and telling her about his true nature, Solas finds himself entangled in a web of emotions as Cole seeks him out. The nuances of right and wrong are not easily defined, as he is forced to face, that perhaps he does not know everything. Solas and Lavellan romance and reunion. Has major spoilers for the Trespasser DLC. The violence and torture is very descriptive, so if this bothers you skip the part that begins with ***** Disclaimer: All credit goes to Bioware for creating the univers and the characters in this story.

Time had always been a strange thing. Even with his infinite wisdom and many years, nothing eluded Solas more. He had seen time manipulated, turned and twisted. He had seen what changes could come with time, and his long lifespan gave him an opportunity that few others had. Through the expanses of time he could truly see how the ripples in the water would spread, and how the effect of decisions would impact the world. Nearly two more years had passed since he had last seen Lavellan. They had seemed to go by so quickly and yet every moment without her, was slow and agonizing. The sound of her voice in agony as said was on the ground before the Eluvian still haunted him. Even more so the knowledge, that he could only delay the effects of the mark and not safe her from it. When his agents had informed him that Lavellan had the arm removed, he felt himself both sigh with relief and cry out in shame. When he also heard that his love had disbanded the inquisition, he felt a fondness embrace his heart. If everyone were as righteous and concerned with doing what was right, rather than grasp for power, the world of Thedas would have been very different. Much to his dismay, however, this also meant that his spies could no longer keep him informed of her. She had all but vanished after the Inquisition was disbanded. From time to time one of his agents would see a one armed elven woman in Kirkwall, Orlais, Antiva or Ferelden, but always seemed to only engage in social calls and stayed as far away from the political scene as possible. Anyone, who didn't know her would assume that she had retired and was now spending her time more idly, but Solas knew better. Still his heart grew cold, when all accounts of her vanished completely. Despite her fame and missing arm, months passed without anyone seeing or hearing whispers of her. Solas tried to convince himself that it was for the best, but neither his heart or mind could rest without knowing if she was safe. So despite his better judgement he began visiting her in her dreams. Always watching her from afar and not engaging in any of her dreams. Sometimes she would see him lurking within the shadows and at other times he would remain hidden, watching her. After a time he began to notice another soul watching her, but this one did not hide from her. He recognized the spirit of compassion as Cole, and he found comfort in the fact that his spirit friend had returned to the fade. One less soul would be lost, when the veil would be removed.

Solas was watching the sun rise in the distance. Horrible nightmares had awoken him, but they were not his own. Milu Lavellan's dreams had become darker as of late. Filled with sorrow and agony and with cries he felt shatter the fade. His thoughts drifted to his friend, spirit of Wisdom, and he could not shake the dread he felt to his core. Many elves and his agents now shared an ancient temple of Fen'Harel. Unlike the other temples to the Patheons, this was one he himself had built long ago. It was a refuge to house those he had freed and during the years following the Inquisition and its disbandment, he had used his magic to restore it. It was a tribute to how powerful he had once again become, but Solas had never felt weaker. His bedroom was round with pillars around it. The walls turning away from the temple was made by glass and not stone, that with a simple touch of his magic would appear and reappear. On the walls and on the ceiling were painted images that he had done himself. He took a deep breath as the brise caressed his face, unbidden the thoughts of deep red hair blowing in the wind entered his mind. His dwelling on memories was interrupted by a knock on his door.

"Adaran." Solas said calmly.

As he suspected one of his agents entered and with a friendly smile he turned to see him.

"Ir abelas, I did not mean to intrude upon you so early, but you wanted the reports from Tevinter as soon as they arrived?" the elven man said politely.

"Ah, yes. Ma serannas. Could you give me a general description?" Solas replied as he reached for the report.

"The Qunari are forcefully making their intention in Tevinter know, but they are resisting. Especially Magister Pavus seems to make life difficult - for almost everyone," the agent shook his head.

"That is to be expected," Solas gave a wry smile "And what of the factions?"

"They seem to be somewhat organized. Some have been captured and are in the hands of the Qunari. Little is heard from the few Venatori, that still remain. A few have been recruited into another organization, but what that is and why, we have no idea as of yet. We only know that mages and scholars from different places are going missing, but it is not possible to tell if they are connected for sure. They are very concealed that's for certain,"

"Hardly surprising considering the attention the Venatori got during the Inquisition," Solas looked through the report, but his eyes merely stared at the page instead of reading it.

"We have heard no news of her," the agent said wistfully and Solas merely nodded, not daring to look up. The agent took this as a sign to leave and bowed before exiting the room. Solas let himself fall back onto his bed, giving a heavy sigh as he so.

"Where are you, vehnan?"

Weeks passed in such a fashion until one night, when he was searching for her in dreams, something happened that he did not expect. He found her body reflections in the fade, but it was completely still and the fade reflected nothing but her. Despite himself he transformed from a wolf into his own shape and walked over in front of her. She was completely still and did not move or even seem to simulate breathing.

"My love?" he tried gently, but even as he touched her face nothing happened.

"She is apart from herself. Burning, cutting, aching, full of anguish, but unable to move. I tried to help, but I cannot help her this time, Solas. Not alone. You must go to her," a gentle voice said behind him. He saw a light spirit behind him, that soon took the shape of Cole.

"I cannot," Solas whispered in despair and heartfelt pain.

Cole walked closer and placed a hand on his friend's shoulder.

"I cannot heal, what you are so determined to hold on to. The pain will not fade, when you clutch onto it so tightly," he said gently.

"I cannot. If I do she will follow me and I will not have her see, what I must become. What I know must happen," Solas replied with tears brimming in his eyes.

"Kind and wise, Solas, you must learn that you do not know everything. She taught you differently on many occasions - that is one of the many reasons why you love her. Let her teach you now. Not all wisdom comes with age," Cole smiled at him.

"You are much more wise and eloquent, than I recall," Solas gave a wry, but fond smile.

"It makes more sense here. Before I was apart from myself, but now I am not. And you are avoiding answering, because you know, what you must do," the insistence in the spirit's voice, cut to the bone - filling him with a chill that he could not ignored. Solas could not answer, but Cole both knew and could feel his friend far too well. Cole walked past Solas and gave Milu a gentle kiss on her forehead. That was when the image of her started moving. She fell to the floor crying out in agony. The screams were worse than when her anchor almost killed her and again Solas' memories of Wisdom entered his mind. Desperately he fell to his knees beside her, as she fell to the ground twisting and turning, as if she was being electrocuted. Over and over he tried to help, but nothing helped.

"Cutting, burning, filling thoughts with lies. They are torturing her. She asks for death, but it will not claim her. They will not allow it. It has gone on for far too long, but will continue until they are stopped," Cole explained.

"Who and where?" Solas growled.

"The Qunari in Tevinter. I can guide you, but you must hurry before she loses her sense of self,"

And so, despite himself, Solas excited the fade to find his heart and show her captures, why he was known as the Dread Wolf.

The warm Tevinter air greeted him as he excited the Eluvian. The rage filling his being was only matched by the ache in his heart. He ventured quickly through the jungle to find an ancient ruin the Qunari had turned into a base.

"Just a little further," Cole whispered from beyond the veil. "They are asleep. She will be alone, but guarded,"

Skillfully Solas made his way through the fortress ruin - one dedicated to the ancient Gods of Tevinter. Between Cole and his scent Solas found, where Milu was kept. After turning the guards to stone, he entered the dark room. And what he saw would scar him for eternity. The elf was strapped on a vertical wheel, tied with chains that were filled with magical electricity. Not enough to kill her, but enough to make her cry out in agonizing pain, if she were not unconscious. Her snow white skin was covered in uneven cuts, clearly made by a weapon designed to cause as much pain as possible. On her face was an iron mask. It held her eyelids open and her tongue was sticking out of her mouth and a nail punched through it - keeping it in place. Her green eyes were deprived of life. On her were burn marks and the tools were in the forge.

"They are trying to make her forget her own truths. They want her to think as they do," Cole whispered sadly.

"They are trying to reeducate her as well as torture her," Solas snarled, though his voice was heavy with tears. He wondered how she survived, but got the answer as he got closer. Red veils were hanging above her, with tubes going directly into her body - the healing potions keeping her alive. He felt the foul stench hit him as he approached. Blood and her other bodily fluids covering her. She looked thin and weak, as if she had been starved and from her condition she might have been for the entire time she was captured.

"Ir abelas ma vehnan," Solas said heartbroken, as he looked at her. He would remove her, but it would take time, if she was to survive it.

"How could she have endured this? How could she not have broken yet?" Solas wondered out loud, his voice thick with tears. Cole appeared like a reflection from beyond the veil. A skill that undoubtedly came from having crossed it back and forth.

"I made her forget. Every day I made her forget the pain and what they were saying. She has no idea of how long she has been here, but it could not continue. I had hoped someone would come for her, but no one did," Cole replied sadly.

"Why?!" Solas growled "Why would no one come to her aid?!" there was a fury and detest in his voice that had the resemblance of venom.

"No one knows. She kept hidden, so she could find you. Dorian tried, when she stopped replying, but he could not find her. He is still trying. He is very afraid,"

Undoubtedly summoned by the shouting, the Qunari came upon him from all sides of the Fortress. Solas gave a feral cry and ran out to the terrace in front of the room she was kept in. As they approach he lit the sky on fire, shattering the night. His vengeance burned like the sky and he would make them suffer as his heart had suffered. He revelled in their screams as the fire burned them like acid, his only regret that he could not make it last longer. When the last of them fell, he hurried back to the room. Quickly he found the mechanism that would allow him to lay down the wheel. He then ran to her side and was distraught to see that not even the cries of agony and fury had awoken her. First he carefully removed the mask, seeing with deep sorrow that the nail had grown attached to her tongue. He removed it quickly, which was enough for her to scream and then pass out again, not even acknowledging his presence. He then quickly healed her mouth and tongue so the swollen area would not choke her and her blood not drown her.

"I am so desperately sorry, emma lath. I should never have left your side," he whispered in a broken voice as he gently kissed her bloodied lips.

He removed the rest of the horrid contraptions, only saving the healing potions for last. As he went he healed her most horrific injuries. Yet still a lot remained all over her naked body. There was a time, where he had wondered how beautiful her form would look, but now the sight would forever haunt him. He had never envisioned it to be revealed to him in such a way. A blanket was placed next to him and he saw Cole standing beside him in a celestial form.

"I have also packed her most valued possessions in this bag. She would not forgive you for forgetting them,"

"Thank you, Cole. For everything," Solas replied his tears finally falling as he picked up his unconscious love.

"It is not your fault, Solas. You could not have known this would happen. Take care of her. That will help heal your hurt," Cole said softly and disappeared back to the fade. Solas carried his love back through the Eluvian, as the sound of the sky bombarding the fortress sounded in the background.

When Milu awoke she hardly had any recollection of anything. Even her name escaped her at first, as her memories seemed tangled and withered. Then as it came back to her, she started to notice the room. Unfamiliar with her surroundings, her first instinct was to jump from the bed, but her momentum faltered as she tried to rest on an arm that was now only half of one. Frightened she gave a small cry, but then it came back to her. The mark, Corypheus, Solas. Then she remembered her search for Solas. She had tried to find him with the help from Leliana, Cassandra and Scout Harding, but it had revealed nothing. Instead she had gone out on her own. Trying to find Solas, while investigating the agents of Fen'Harel - Solas' agents - was no easy feat. She had been captured by the Qunari and tortured during her search, but for the most part she could only recall Cole's voice. She smiled softly knowing that her friend must have protected her from remembering the worst of it. She looked around a room made of white marble and gold. Large windows between pillars gave a beautiful view of the surroundings. It was up high and showed mountains and a landscape that somewhat reminded her of the Arbor wilds. The room was beautifully furnished with elven furniture. The bed was carved from light wood and the bedposts looked like wolves. The sheets were golden and green. The floor was a mosaic like in the Temple of Mythal and the walls were painted in a style familiar to her. Other than that the room had comfortable chairs, bookcases, a desk, a fireplace in the middle of the room and candles for lighting. They were, however, not lit as it was still light, with the sun beginning to set, casting a red and golden glow into the room.

"Solas?" she questioned herself in a whisper afraid, that should she speak loudly it would all disappear and she would find herself back with the Qunari. With effort she managed to sit up and noticed that she was wearing a pure white dress, that was layer upon layer of fabric that seemed as light as air. Absently mindedly she got out of bed, more fascinated by her surroundings then anything else. So when she stood up she was met by an overwhelming pain in her leg that had her screaming in agony as she fell to the floor. She could not hold back the tears as she whimpered in pain. She heard running footsteps approaching, but was in too much pain to pay them any attention.

"Vehnan!" a familiar voice exclaimed as the door opened and quickly ran to her side.

"S-Solas?" she whispered through tears, when she looked up into a pair of blue eyes, that echoed her pain.

Gently Solas picked her up and murmured words of apology as it hurt her. He gently placed her on the bed and got down in front of her on his knees. Carefully he lifted her dress and exposed her leg.

"Your leg was crushed. I have done as much as I can, but it will take time to heal. If I do more it might not set right. Ir abelas," he explained softly as he examined her leg.

Milu took his chin with her hand and crushed her lips to his quickly. Solas knew he should resist, but he couldn't - not any longer. With an aching heart he returned her kiss. Soft and lingering it didn't feel quite real to any of them, but when she pulled away the absence of each other's lips was profound. She looked into his eyes with such softness and melancholy it almost broke any resolve he had. He forgot every reason he had for not being with her. All reasons for pursuing his goal, were suddenly diminished. That was why he had drawn away from her in the first place. As she stroked his cheek he could do nothing but lean into her touch and place his hand on hers.

"I love you, Solas. Nothing will ever change that," her voice was broken as she spoke.

"Ar lath ma vehnan. It seems that no matter what strides I take to protect you, I falter. I am so terribly sorry, my love," his voice cracked, as his one armed love pulled him into her embrace.

"You are not almighty, Fen'Harel. You cannot protect me from life and certainly not, when I do not wish to protected. Stop fighting me and pushing me away. I might be an arm short and you a mighty mage, but I have defeated all so far. You of all people should know better than to run from me," she smiled lovingly and brightly.

With tears still lingering in his eyes he gave a chuckle. He loved her more than he could ever have imagined. Her kindness, her fairness and forgiving nature made her an example to everyone. She was what was best in the world and with her loss, his heart would wither. When she suddenly fell forward he caught her in his arms.

"I feel lightheaded," she whispered and he helped her back in bed.

"You haven't eaten in a long while. Let me get something for you," but as he got up she caught his arm with her hand and he could see the other half arm reaching for him as well.

"Don't leave!" she begged hastily, and the fear in her eyes made the melancholy that always followed him more profound.

"I will have someone else get something for you then. It will only be but a moment," he leaned forward and kissed her brow. He could feel her eyes watching him intensely as he walked towards the door. Milu's heart ached. She was so afraid of losing him. Every kiss they had shared since the Arbor Wilds had ended with him leaving her behind. And since then her heart had done nothing but look for him. Vivienne had encouraged her to move on, but she could not. Solas was in her soul and the sight of him being on his own was more than she could bare. So she felt more than a little anxious as he walked towards the door. She held her breath as he opened the door, and with utmost politeness Solas asked someone to bring up food in elven. She gave a sigh of relief as he closed the door again, and in his eyes was a profound sadness and apologetic look. He went to get a chair and sat down next to the bed. He was about to explain how and why he found her, but she cut him off.

"Please Solas… There is so much misery already. Can we talk about more pleasant things? just for a little while?" she requested softly as she began to shake. He reached for her hand and held it in both of his.

"Alright, let us talk," he said softly and added "about whatever you prefer,"

Days had passed and though Solas intended to give up on Milu once she was better he felt in his heart that it became more and more difficult with each passing day. She was recovering slowly, but though he had spent a lot of time in her company they had not yet spoken about anything serious. It had always been at a distance, both of them not knowing, what would happen should they approach the subject that tore them apart. He walked into the bedroom, where Milu sat on the bed and he heard Dorian's voice.

"Dorian, don't fret so. I was taken by a Qunari squad, but I am safe now," she tried to comfort with a soft smile.

"You were out of contact for six weeks! Don't tell me nothing happened. If anything has happened to you I will..." Dorian's voice sounded ignited with anger and worry.

"Hush now. I am perfectly well - except for missing your company, of course," she giggled softly.

"Naturally. I am so sorry, but I have to leave. That damn magisterium always want to mettle at the most unfortunate of times," Dorian sighed.

"You love causing trouble. Now go and do what you do best, my honorable magister," her voice was so soft when she spoke, that it seemed to calm the magister instantly.

She smiled and shook her head, when she closed the amulet and Solas was reminded of how she always saw the best in everyone. It wasn't until she turned, that he realised that she had a metal arm. She noticed his staring and smiled.

"Dagna made it for me. It can sense me muscle movement, so that I have some use of it,"

Solas walked over and looked more closely at it.

"May I?" he asked carefully and as she nodded he took the metal hand. When it folded its cold fingers in his, he gave a sound of astonishment.

"Remarkable,"

"Yes, she did a good job. I can't feel anything of course, which makes using a bow impossible. It was probably the reason I got captured. Had I been a mage, I might have been fine, but…" she made a heavy sigh.

"I am sorry," he said softly.

"It's not your fault. You didn't make me run into a room with Corypheus or pick up your orb. I did that, not you,"

He sat down next to her, his head and heart still heavy for all the misery he had caused. There was a silence for awhile until she broke it.

"It was how I made your agents lose track of me. I made sure always to wear gloves. Even should they recognize me, they would assume they were mistaken since I had two working arms. It worked with most. Since I disbanded the inquisition I have been working in secret with a group of mages and scholars from all over Thedas," she began explaining.

"As a means to stop me?" he asked raising a brow.

"No. I will not try to stop you…. I know better than to think I even can, but it is related," she replied with a sad voice.

"How?"

"Since you told me what you planned, my heart has been in a state of mourning. I do not doubt that you will succeed, but I look at the world, the races and their cultures and I mourn for them. What the elves lost was precious, but our past is not more precious than theirs - our lives not more valuable. So I looked into what the absence of the veil would mean. Everything from creating pockets within the veil, where people could live outside til seeing if the Eluvians could bring people somewhere else. You told me that the world would be destroyed due to the chaos that would follow the removal of the veil, but never once by the process itself. Your assumption, I guess, is that we will kill everything in sight. That in our terror we will tear our own society apart. But there is one flaw in your assumptions," Milu looked at him with a gaze so soft that he could feel no anger towards her.

"And what is that?" his tone doubtful, but not cruel or slighted.

"You underestimated us. You didn't believe Corypheus strong enough to open the orb. You didn't believe that people of this world were strong and resourceful. You believed we were no more than tranquils. No imagination, no honour and no resolve. But you changed your mind. You see a world you will help protect until you can fulfill your plan," she smiled softly, but in her eyes sadness lingered.

"You changed it. I had not thought… but it doesn't matter now. I cannot turn back," he looked away from her as if he was ashamed.

"But it does!" she insisted "You assume that people cannot accept spirits, that our culture can't adapt. And for many of us, that will be true, but not for all. Some of us will adapt and even more will, if you teach them how. I know you think only of the elves after, and I accept that, but help me - teach me so I can teach them. More of this world will recover - see just how quickly they recovered from Corypheus. It will not be easy, but you can't tell me that there isn't a chance," her eyes full of gentleness and a kind smile as she spoke touched Solas' heart.

Fondly he ran his fingers through her long red hair as he replied.

"I know of noone who can offer hope, as you do. No one who can look fearless into the abyss and still look for a soft place to land," his voice was a small, loving chuckle as he spoke.

She grabbed his other hand and turned to face him directly.

"After all the wonders we have seen, how can you doubt? Studying this I came across an enchanter and a mage, whose power I have only seen overgone by one and that is you," she said with enthusiasme.

"I thought you would have seen more that your share of mages to be so easily impressed," Solas replied with a wry smile.

"Solas, he is a dwarf," her voice was adamant, when she spoke and yet still he doubted his ears.

"A dwarf? But they shouldn't be able to deal with magic…. they are completely cut off from the fade," his voice was all but a gasp.

"His name is Sandal. He is very peculiar, almost in the way Cole is. I found him in Empress Celine's court and convinced both her and his father to help me out. He is amazing, and he proves that we don't know everything. Look at me now and tell me that there is no possibility of change," her eyes were filled with hope, which made his answer that much harder.

"You know not what you ask, vehnan," he sighed sadly.

"I ask for a chance, Solas. I chance to help this world move forward. Can you truly deny me this?" she forced him to look at her.

For long moments he stared into her emerald eyes. It was only fitting that her eyes would be the colour of hope. Everything flashed through his mind. How he had created the veil in hopes that it would change the world for the better. How he had misjudge Corypheus' power. How he had underestimated his own knowledge. How he, in his pride, had thought the world lesser than it was. How he had misjudged her. He had not seen beyond the valaslin at first. He saw arrogance, were there was curiosity and a thirst for knowledge. He saw naivety instead of cautious wisdom. She had changed everything he believed and more than once made him want to give up on everything he had planned. He looked at the metal hand. His mark had almost killed her. His mark took everything from her. Her life, her faith and her hand - her ability to protect herself in a dangerous world, where he had helped making her a target. And there she sat next to him, not asking him to abandon his plans, but merely giving her the chance to help those, whom he had thought beyond help. He would not have to be alone, and in his heart he found faith that if anyone could make his is mistakes and horrific choices less it would be her.

"Asha Atisha... I cannot not deny you anything, my love. How can I ever ask you any forgiveness, when your humility and hope shame me so terribly?" he shook his head as he spoke.

He was surprised, when she straddled him and placed her arms around his neck.

"Just don't push me away, vehnan. It brings nothing but misery and we are the strongest and wisest, when in each others company."

He captured her lips in a desperate kiss. For ages beyond counting he had lived without a heart. The wolf had wandered alone, but finally he would have a companion that might temper his desperate nature. Some cultures - like the Qunari - could nothing but fall into ruins, when the time came, but maybe everything would not be lost, as two reflections of each other would once again become whole.

Elvish translation:

Adaran: Enter

Ir abelas: I am sorry

Emma lath: My love

Vehnan: my heart

Ar lath ma: I love you

Asha Atisha: peaceful woman