Synopsis: Peter's Valentine
Time: Six Months after Peter was fostered by the Blaisdells.
Characters: Peter, Kelly, and Paul
Story: Peter learns what Valentine's Day is all about (from a child's perspective) but also struggles with a hidden demon within himself yet to be revealed.
Peter's Valentine
By Alisa Joaquin
Peter Caine walked into Kelly's room, his brow suddenly furrowing as he puzzled over what his new little sister was doing.
"Shut the door, Peter," Kelly exclaimed anxiously as she quickly covered up what she was doing, then breathed a sigh of relief as he did so.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm making a Valentine for Mom," Kelly replied, but the sound that came out implied Peter should have already known that fact.
"What's a Valentine?" Peter questioned.
The look on Kelly's face surprised Peter as she turned toward him, asking a question of her own. "Didn't you celebrate Valentine's Day at that temple of yours, or even at the orphanage?"
"The temple was my father's and no, we didn't. We celebrated the Chinese New Year and other holidays associated with Chinese history. As for the orphanage . . ." Peter didn't finish his statement.
"Didn't you celebrate birthdays?"
"Yeah . . ." Peter said hesitantly.
"Well, Valentine's Day is no different than a birthday other than you give gifts of Hearts and Chocolates. Sometimes Daddy will give Mommy flowers."
Peter could not help but notice Kelly's voice rose more excitedly at the mention of getting Chocolate.
"Tell me more," Peter stated intrigued by this new annual ritual, but then a sadness entered as he recalled the last time he ever gave a gift to someone. That someone was dead, and Peter still did not know how he was going to fulfill the vow that he made on that fateful day.
"Mommy's going to like this," Kelly stated.
"There's nothing written on it."
"Yes there is, you just can't see it, but you can feel it."
Peter took the handmade heart from Kelly and felt his hand along the surface. It was then that he noticed the small raised bumps. "What is it?"
"It's Braille silly. I asked Daddy if I could borrow one of Mom's Braille writers."
It was then that he remembered that Paul Blaisdell's wife, Anne was blind. "What does it say?"
"That I love her. Aren't you going to do a Valentine for Mom?"
"I . . ." Peter suddenly rose from Kelly's bed and rushed from the room. Conflicting feelings stirred deep inside. Since he came to the Blaisdell's he didn't know what to think. They were all being so nice to him, but at the same time, they were also being cautious. He could sense their apprehension, except for Kelly. She seemed to warm up to him very quickly. Carolyn on the other hand seemed less welcoming. He could sense that she didn't like the fact that he usurped her position as elder sibling in the Blaisdell household. At the same time, she would often point out that he was "only a foster child and that he probably would only be sticking around for six months until they found him another home to go to." The jibe hurt, even though he did not let on. But, six months had passed and still he remained here in the Blaisdell home.
Carolyn had not given up her animosity toward him while Kelly seemed to have grown very attached to him, which puzzled Peter more. Mrs. Blaisdell was doing her best to give Peter the love that he needed, but at the same time Peter just wasn't ready to let go of the anger he held inside. He could not explain why he felt angry, but something about this situation caused him to feel it. It gnawed at him that if he didn't do something about it, he would explode. And yet, he couldn't define exactly what it was. It seemed to have started a very long time ago, but he just could not tell when. It was like a demon chasing him. He would manage to keep it at bay for a short time, but something would remind him of it and the demon would raise its ugly head. Most of the time it would manifest in his nightmares that continued even after leaving the orphanage. He would wake up in a cold sweat, but the nightmare would be gone before he could voice what it was that frightened him. For now, he allowed the Blaisdells to believe that the nightmares were from the destruction of the temple, but that was tame compared to what he truly felt. Something deep inside tore at him, something that he would not be able to deal with until years later. For now, the thought of making a Valentine for a blind woman whom was trying to be a Mother to him felt very strange.
Not only that, what really drove Peter was the fact that Kelly truly saw Annie as her mother, even though she wasn't. It reminded Peter that he didn't have a mother growing up. His father never remarried and seemed content not to do so. He would attend his Mother's grave on the anniversary of her death, but Peter could not cope with that fact. He wasn't ready to go and put flowers on the grave of a woman whom he didn't know, who died when he was only two years old, and leaving the only memory he had of her behind; the scent of jasmine. It was unfair.
Paul, he was also an equation that Peter could not figure out. He was Peter's foster father, but never once did he ever bring that up. Paul was acting more like a big brother or a friend. It was as if he was respecting Peter's right to keep his privacy and to keep who he was intact. Yet, every now and then he would try to include Peter in everything he did that involved the family. It was very unsettling. It made it difficult for Peter to even think about leaving to find the men that murdered his father.
"Peter, are you all right?" Peter suddenly straightened up, not allowing Paul to see that he had nearly broken down into tears.
"I'm fine."
"Don't lie to yourself. You're voice may sound like you're all right, but your muscles in your shoulders are tense. Something's wrong."
Peter didn't say anything at first, letting the silence grow between them.
"If you don't want to talk, I understand. I'll be in my study if you want to."
"Paul, wait." Peter turned just in time before Paul closed the door on their short conversation. He could sense Paul's hesitation, waiting patiently for Peter to reply. The gesture reminded Peter of his father. "I . . . I want to give your wife . . ."
"Annie," Paul coaxed. "Or Mom. You can call her that. You are part of our family, Peter."
"Kelly is making . . . Annie a Valentine, but . . . I don't know what I should do. I've never done one before."
"Didn't you give a Valentine to your father?" Paul asked.
"We didn't celebrate Valentine's Day." Peter replied.
"Oh, I see, but there's more to this than just not celebrating Valentine's Day." Paul coaxed.
"I miss . . . I never knew my mother . . . and now Annie . . . I . . ."
"Peter, I can tell this situation hasn't been easy for you. Being at an orphanage for almost two years then suddenly having a family again can be confusing."
"It was only my father and me, " Peter said. "I've never had to deal with two sisters . . . and a mother before."
"And to boot, you didn't celebrate things the same way."
"I don't know how . . . or even know what to do."
"Don't worry about it. Just give Annie something that comes from your heart. I know she will love it because it would have come from you."
The demon slipped back into the darkness as soon as Paul's words registered. "Thanks Paul," Peter stated, and gave Paul a reassuring grin to let him know that he was going to be all right.
After Paul left, Peter started thinking about what he would do for Annie Blaisdell. He wasn't ready to call her Mom just yet, but this would be a start. Peter thought about borrowing the Braille writer from Kelly then changed his mind. There was something else he would give her instead. It was one of the things that he retrieved from the temple. It wasn't much, but it always seemed to give him comfort when he held it. It was said to belong to his mother. Peter dug out his trunk from the orphanage and opened it. It was filled with some clothes that they gave him to wear along with some of his old clothes from the temple. The gi that he wore that night still contained the odor of smoke from the fire and even had some rust colored spattering on one shoulder where he tried to carry his wounded best friend. The people who ran the orphanage wanted him to get rid of the gi, as if that would erase his memories of what happened that night, but Peter refused. Among the clothes were two items. He had been lucky to retrieve them from the temple. His and his father's rooms were among the few areas that remained intact. The rest had been destroyed.
Peter pulled out the gi and felt that the two items still remained hidden. He pulled out the smaller of the two and unwrapped the silk cloth that protected it. The item the rested in the cloth was a heart-shaped stone with an image carved into its surface. The image was a stylized cat. The Blaisdells had two cats, a large white male with green eyes the color of leaves and a young black cat, no more than a year old that the girls called Isis. It may not be a pink or red heart with white lace trim, but it was something that came from Peter's heart. A paper heart would tear, but this would last forever. And it was a start, a means for Peter to open his heart and to let the woman known as Annie Blaisdell, that she could be his mother from now on.
Then End.
