"what you are is 172 lbs and we don't give a damn"
psychaspencer: takes place during the episode viagara falls. features shawn with an eating disorder - bulimic/anorexic!shawn. now, i only know about eating disorders based on what i've read in magazines and seen on tv, so sorry if i don't do a very good job projecting it in my fic. you can't say i didn't try.
disclaimer: i don't own psych. tragic, isn't it?
"What you are is 172 pounds and we don't give a damn".
As he hung his head over the toilet bowl, the words replayed over and over in Shawn's head.
"What you are is 172 pounds..."
He laid his sweaty forehead against the cool porcelain lid.
"...172 pounds..."
Tears pricked at his eyes. He had done a good job hiding his feelings when he was with the old geezers, but now that he was alone in his dirty, dark empty apartment, the hurt showed clearly. He couldn't believe how much he'd let himself go. Was his weight really that obvious? He remembered a few precious years ago, when he weighted less than 120 pounds...god he was so thin back then, so much better looking. Who could possibly want him now? No wonder Lassie didn't want to be around him.
"...172 pounds..."
Shawn sniffed miserably as tears streamed down his face. He stood up shakily and got on the scale. It still said 172 pounds. He screamed and banged his head against the wall. Lassie would never want him. No one would ever want him. Not until he lost all the weight. He was perfect when he was 120 pounds. He bet he'd look even better at 115, and with a determined sigh. He told himself he'd go down to 115. Then Lassie would like him. Then he would like himself.
He looked at himself in the mirror and groaned. Getting down to 115 pounds was going to take a while. But he was going to do it. He had to.
"...172 pounds..."
psychaspencer: r&r please!
