Summary: Restaurant AU. Written for comment-fic at LJ. Prompt: Eliot is a Gordon Ramsay type who goes to restaurants in trouble and tries to fix them. Nate & Sophie are the restaurant owners, Hardison is the host/restaurant manager, and Parker is either Nate & Sophie's daughter or a waitress.
AN: This is crazy. Yes, I realize that. However, I saw the prompt, and I couldn't help myself. Tigriswolf gives the most awesome prompts ever…
AN2: There is a very mild early Season 5 spoiler in this. Very extremely mild, as in, if you read the title, you've been spoiled.
AN3: Hardison is a Terry Pratchett fan. Find the reference.
Bananana Tuna Sandwich with a Tall, Ice-Cold Glass of Thief Juice
"You're angry. Why are you angry?"
This is the fifth time the skinny blonde waitress has sneaked into his kitchen (any kitchen that he walks into is automatically his kitchen) and it is really starting to grate on his nerves. She keeps popping up where he isn't expecting her, and it's disrupting his zen.
"I'm angry because this restaurant is an abomination," Eliot growls. "Is that a banana?" he asks, grabbing the offending fruit, "Who puts banana in a tuna sandwich? No banana!"
"Oh, well," the restaurant co-owner, Sophie Devereaux, says brightly and puts a hand on his arm. The hand is removed quickly after Eliot throws her a hostile glare. Bananas? On tuna? Seriously? Unforgivable.
"I- er," the other owner of Leverage, Nate Ford, hems, and looks to the host/manager/jack-of-all-trades, Alec Hardison.
"What do you mean, no banana?" he says, actually looking offended, "It's our signature Bananana Tuna Special! The sweet flavor mixes with the fishiness- "
"No banana!"
Eliot next goes over to the line of beer kegs with a sinking feeling in his gut. However he might have steeled himself, though, there was no way he could have prepared himself for Thief Juice.
"What the hell is Thief Juice?"
Hardison stands up straight and looks proud. "Thief Juice is our own special blend of..." He trails off under the weight of Eliot's glare.
"I found the recipe online," he finishes meekly.
Eliot fights the urge to smack himself on the forehead.
"No online recipes," he growls.
The Leverage Brew Pub definitely needs his help. Because that's what he does; he helps restaurants in need of serious ass-whuppin'.
