This is what I'm doing to stave off boredom. I'm writing what will very likely be a one-shot for Once Upon A Time. The premise of this story is that Aurora, after having been asleep for so long, has developed the power to approach and break the fourth wall. For those of you who have no idea what the fourth wall is, it's basically an imaginary "wall" that prevents characters in TV, movies, books, video games, etc from knowing that they're in a show/move/book/video game/etc. Breaking the fourth wall means that they acknowledge either the author/narrator, the audience, or that they're in a whatever medium they're in.
Breaking the Fourth Wall
Aurora felt Phillip's lips touch hers as she was awakened from her slumber. She sat up and saw her beloved prince. She grabbed him and pulled him in for a kiss. Just seconds before her lips touched his, she sneezed. Phillip leaned back, somewhat disgusted that Aurora had sneezed all over his face. "Yuck," Phillip said. Upon seeing his beloved's saddened face, he added "And bless you."
Aurora giggled a bit, glad that she hadn't grossed Phillip out too much. "Sorry, I guess after being asleep for so long I got a bit dusty," she said.
Phillip grabbed the hand of his beloved and- "Do you hear that?" Aurora suddenly asked.
"Hear what?" Phillip asked.
"That voice. Someone's speaking and describing everything we're doing. Do you really not hear that?" Aurora said. Wait a minute, Aurora can hear me? How is it she can hear the narrator? I specifically remember erecting a rather powerful fourth wall around here, let me see, where is it? Aha! Hear it is. Yep, this fourth wall is still in order, and it still seems to be functioning properly. Where did she get the power to see through it?
"Okay, how can you not hear that voice?" Aurora asked. "He's so loud!" Listen up, princess, I don't know what's going on, but for some reason you can see past the fourth wall. But the others, they can't. They can't hear me, only you can. If you keep this up, they'll probably think you've gone crazy. In fact, I think I'll make it so they do.
"You can't do that!" Aurora yelled.
Phillip looked at her as if she'd gone crazy. "Uh, Aurora, are you okay? There is no voice, and there's no one around but us three," Phillip said.
"How are you doing that?" Aurora shouted to the sky. Simple, really. I'm the narrator, and I have absolute power and control over everything in this world. I make Maleficent and Rumpelstiltskin look powerless. I can even control you. Watch.
Aurora was about to say something when her nose began to tickle. Though she tried to fight it, she felt a sneeze building up. When she could fight it no more, she released the sneeze. "Why did you make me do that?" Aurora asked. "And why do you keep saying that I'm asking this? I think it's pretty obvious I posed the question!" Because if I didn't then the readers would have no idea what was going on. Since you've already broken the fourth wall, they're probably already confused enough as it is. As for the sneeze, I figured it was a far more humane way to show my power than having you arms fall off. Now, could we please get on with the story?
"No, I'm not cooperating with some tyrant!" Aurora shouted. Well, then. Perhaps Phillip and Mulan need to be attacked by a wraith? Maybe that would get you to cooperate.
"Wait, what?" Aurora started. Before the narrator could answer, however, a large, robed figure arose from the ground and dove straight at Phillip. Phillip screamed a girly scream and ducked.
"Whoa, whoa, wait a minute, Mr. Narrator! Phillip is not some sissy who screams when attacked!" Aurora said. Yeah, I know. I just figured I'd show my power again by turning your beloved into a cowardly wimp.
The wraith grabbed Phillip by the neck and leaned towards his face. Several wisps could be seen coming from Phillip's face. The wisps stopped flowing and the wraith dropped Phillip. The wraith grabbed Mulan, who was frozen helplessly with fear. The wraith began sucking white wisps from her face as well.
"Oh, no you don't!" Aurora yelled. Aurora tried to help Mulan, but tripped over her dress and fell face first in the dirt.
"Ow!" Aurora groaned. "Really?" Hey, you tried to mess up what I was doing. I told you, I have absolute power. Would you rather I gave you a sneezing fit instead?
"No, I'm already down here, might as well keep it that way," Aurora said, resigned. So, do you finally admit to my omnipotence and are you willing to cooperate?
"No! And by the way, while you were busy, the wraith seems to have finished with Mulan. Are you going to kill me, too?" Aurora asked. It's tempting. But I'll play nice and let you live. The wraith disappeared into the earth, it's mission complete. Aurora, despite her better judgment did what most sane people would never dare to do. She walked to where the wraith had disappeared.
"Honestly, was that sane person thing really necessary?" Aurora asked. No, but I quite enjoyed it.
Where the wraith had disappeared were two women, one with long blonde hair and another with short black hair. Both women were dressed very, very strangely.
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"Well, what happens now?" Aurora asked, impatiently. Nothing. I'm done!
"Are you kidding me?" Aurora asked. Nope, this story ends here. If the audience for whatever reason actually likes this story you've managed to mess up so badly, I might decide to give you a sequel. But, after your horrible display I doubt they'll want anything more to do with this concept.
"No, audience, whoever and whatever that is, please make this evil narrator write something else! Otherwise, I'll have nothing to do! I'll be bored out of my mind! Come one, help a girl out!" Aurora pleaded. Yeah, no pressure. She's not going anywhere, and I'm sure you're sick of her, anyway. There's no need to ask for more.
Author's Note (NOT part of this story):
This story is a one shot. Like I wrote earlier, if enough crazy people decide they want more of this ridiculous nonsense, then I'll write more ridiculous nonsense. But know this: I do NOT normally write like this, and as far as writing goes, this one was pretty awful. I know this, I did that on purpose. So, please don't post any nasty reviews about how horrible this was, I know that it was bad. And I swear, I can write well. I just didn't. The only reason I wrote this was because I just beat Cthulhu Saves the World and the extra story Cthulhu's Angels. The complete and utter lack of a fourth wall in that game made me want to write a story that lacked a fourth wall. I like Once Upon A Time, so I figured why not?
And just for the record, I don't hate Aurora. She's actually one of my favorite characters. I just picked her because I feel that FanFiction needs more humor genre Aurora stories. Though, I guess a good one would have been better. Oh well.
