Written for my dear friend. A Merry/Pippin fanfiction.
Complete silence, that was the only thing which embraced Gandalf and me. The field lied full of warriors, died for their fatherland. Only few still walked. Searching for their friends, hoping to find them alive. I didn't hear much what was going on around me while I walked over the field because 'till my biggest shock I found his cloak. Merry's cloak. "Merry" I whispered. Far from me I heard a man screaming. While others brought their loved ones away, to take care of them I stayed at the field. Searching for my best friend. I walked over the field, shouting his name while I felt a horrible panic whelming up. It was getting darker and there was still no sign of him. I took a deep breath, out of despair when I stood still, letting my eyes made their way over the many bodies around me. Then I saw him. Merry. Lying underneath a man's body. As quick as I could I ran to him, pushing the man of him. I kneeled next to him. Oh god, he looked so pale. I pulled him upon my lap and for a very second I thought he was gone, but luckily I saw his battered face moving. Hot tears were pricking in my eyes while I softly whispered. "Merry, it's me. It's Pippin." A relieved smile appeared on my face when his blue eyes opened their self. "I know you would find me", he weakly said and still smiling I answered "Yes." I laid him carefully back in the grass again and as I did I heard him asking to my biggest shock if I was going to leave him. How could he possibly think that? "No, Merry. I'm going to look after you." I softly said, determined to save him. I quickly grabbed a blanket which was at Merry's feet and I pulled it over him, making sure he wouldn't get colder. "It will be alright." I muttered and I moved some of his hair out of his face.
We didn't fight anymore. Merry wasn't able to and I just didn't want to leave his side. Aragorn found us and brought us to an inn. Luckily he understood that we both couldn't fight. He left us alone and while Merry was lying in a comfortable bed I was making sure that he got enough food to get stronger. On a very evening I was sitting on a chair next to the bed Merry lied in. I held a bowl with warm water upon my lap and with a cloth I was stroking along Merry's scratched cheeks. It have been already three days and Merry started to talk less and less. Also feeding him went harder by the day and the wounds didn't seem to heal. But I didn't lost hope, not a second. He would be alright, I kept telling myself. He was a strong hobbit.
Weeks passed and the war have ended. Merry still wasn't able to do a thing and Gandalf, who was visiting the inn, told me the terrible truth, he wouldn't make it. I shook heavily my head, but who was I fooling? I saw Merry was getting skinnier, getting paler and getting weaker. I just didn't want to accept it that he wouldn't make it. Gandalf and I were sitting in another room, the living room to be exact, when I suddenly heard Merry moaning. I looked up at Gandalf who made a gesture that I had to go and so I did. I quickly got up from the chair and ran towards Merry's room. He looked awful. He had dark circles underneath his eyes, he was breathing heavily and his eyes looked dull into my direction. "Merry." I said while he ran towards him, taking his hand in mine. So cold, his hand felt so cold. "Can I get something for you?" I heard a shaky voice asking him. My own voice. But Merry only smiled shortly and almost inaudible he said "You're my best friend Pip." With that he closed his eyes, one single tear rolled over his pale cheek. The heavy breathing got less and less and the smile slowly disappeared. One last breathe escaped his lips and I gasped when I felt the grip in his hand getting weaker. "Merry?" I shouted which made Gandalf enter the room. I remembered the words he said, two days ago; "Please stop trying to keep me alive. I know you want to be with me as long as possible, but every breath I take is more painful than the last. You have to let me go." Dead. Merry was dead. I started to shake heavily and I felt hot tears rolling over my cheeks. "No, no.." I cried while I fell down upon my knees, still holding Merry's cold hand. I felt Gandalf's hand squeezing softly my shoulder and while I was holding Merry's cold hand against my cheeks I sobbed loudly. I failed. I felt how Gandalf gently tried to pull me away but I roughly pulled back, not wanting to let Merry's hand go. "He needs me!" I cried. "Pippin, he doesn't need you anymore, it's over, let him go." Gandalf softly answered and I heard the compassionated undertone in his voice. Terrifying emptiness was overwhelming me, filling my soul with a total silence. I knew I had to carry on, that was what Merry would have wanted but the emptiness which filled my soul would never disappear. I'd always miss him at my side, my best friend.
