Disclaimer: I do not own Homestuck nor Llamas with Hats..


Tavros walked into his and Gamzee's place, and saw a dead person on the ground..

Tavros: Gamzee! T-there is a dead human in our hive!

Gamzee: Ohh Heeyy..How did this motherfucker get here?

Tavros: Gamzeeeeee! What did you do?

Gamzee: Me? Uh..I didn't do this.

Tavros: Explain what happened Gamzee!

Gamzee: I've never seen him before in my life!

Tavros: Why d-did you kill this person Gamzee?

Gamzee: I do not kill these motherfuckers..That is my least favorite thing to do..

Tavros: Tell me Gamzee, exactly what you were doing before I came home.

Gamzee: Alright..well, I was upstairs..

Tavros: Okay?

Gamzee: I was uh..sitting in my room...

Tavros: Y-yes..?

Gamzee: Drinkin Faygo

Tavros: Go on…

Gamzee: And, uh... well this motherfucker walked in...

Tavros: Okay?

Gamzee: So I went up to him..

Tavros: Yes...

Gamzee: And I..I stabbed him 37 times in the chest.

Tavros: Gamzeeeeeeeee! That kills people!

Gamzee: Oh, well, I didn't know that.

Tavros: How could you not know that! Were you sober again?

Gamzee: Yeah, I'm in the wrong here. I suck!

Tavros: W-what happened to his hands?

Gamzee: What's that?

Tavros: His hands. W-why are they missing?

Gamzee: Well, I kind of um, cooked them up. And ate them.

Tavros: Gamzeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Gamzee: I was hungry. And well, you know, when you crave motherfuckin' hands...

Tavros: W-why on earth would you do that?

Gamzee: I was hungry for hands! Gimmie a motherfuckin' break!

Tavros: Gamzeeeeee!

Gamzee: My stomach was making the rumblies...

Tavros: Gamzeee!

Gamzee: That only hands could satisfy!

Tavros: W-what is wrong with you Gamzee!

Gamzee: Well, I kill people and I eat hands, that's two motherfuckin' things!