Hello :D this is my first humourous fic. Hope you enjoy it! Suggestions are taken :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, Facebook... etc.


Lord Voldemort: My Bella… what did you do?

Fenrir Greyback: What DID she do? o.o

Lucius Malfoy, Narcissa Malfoy and 6 others like this.

Rodolphus Lestrange: Have mercy on her, my Lord! :(

Lord Voldemort: Rodolphus… Firstly, you don't even know what she did. Secondly, you can't tell me what to do. Thirdly, I wasn't going to punish her anyway. So shut up. And Fenrir, ask her yourself. -.-

Bellatrix Lestrange, NoName Yaxley and Antonin Dolohov like this.

Bellatrix Lestrange: Sorry, master. And yeah, Rod, shut it.

Rodolphus Lestrange: Fine, I won't plead for you. Anyway, my Lord, what did you mean by 'MY' Bella? She's my Bella, surely? AND WHAT DID SHE DO?

Lord Voldemort: You dare question me, Lestrange?

Bellatrix Lestrange: Oh for… Rodolphus, you're 'pleading' doesn't work, anyway. And I AM NOT YOUR BELLA.

Rodolphus Lestrange: You're MY wife. WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?

Ronald Weasley: Seriously? This is what you do in your spare time? God, no wonder we keep on defeating you.

Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and 157 others like this.

Ronald Weasley: Bloody hell that got a lot of likes.

Fred Weasley, George Weasley and 10 others like this.

Molly Weasley: Don't use language like that, Ron.

Ginny Weasley: MUM!? YOU HAVE FACEBOOK?! O_O

Molly Weasley: Yes. I'm keeping my eye on you.

Fenrir Greyback: Hahahahaha, suck on that gingy. And Bellatrix, what did you do?:)

Narcissa Malfoy, Andromeda Tonks and 60 others like this.

Bellatrix Lestrange: Master, why do you have so many mudbloods and blood-traitors on your friends list? And our enemies? AND ANDROMEDA? :S Greyback, I stole Lucius's peacock and tortured it until it was insane. It was squawking and tried nibbling me and turned cannibalistic and ate some of the others Sorry, Lucy. :)

Lucius Malfoy: That's quite alright.

Lord Voldemort: Really, Malfoy? Anyway, Bella, it's because I'm a sexy beast, and I deserve to have the most friends. Sorry about adding your sister. I'll block her if you want – also… that's not all you did, and you know it.

Bellatrix Lestrange: Ok, Master. And yeah, really, Lucy? I thought you'd want to put up a fight, considering you give them more affection than your own wife... Or do you know you'll lose to a girl? Well, a REAL girl, anyway.

Harry Potter, Lord Voldemort and 11 others like this.

Narcissa Malfoy: What do you mean, a REAL girl? And Lucius doesn't pay THAT much attention to them... most of the time...

Lucius Malfoy likes this.

Lord Voldemort: She means that Lucius is probably gay. :)

Bellatrix Lestrange likes this.

Draco 'Dragon' Malfoy: My father will hear about this.

Bellatrix Lestrange: We're actually talking about him, Draco. So yeah, he probably already knows.

Lord Voldemort, Fenrir Greyback and 2 others like this.

Lucius Malfoy: You guys are so mean! :/

Antonin Dolohov: HAHAHHAHAHAHHHAHAHAAHAHAHAH.

Bellatrix Lestrange: HAHAHHAAH OH MY GOD.

Lord Voldemort: HAHHAHAHAHHA.

Rodolphus Lestrange: AHHHAHAHAH GAY BROTHER IN LAW.

Bellatrix Lestrange: Killed it.

Lord Voldemort, Fenrir Greyback and 9 others like this.

Lord Voldemort: You need to sort out your priorities, Rodolphus. Or, perhaps, get me and Bella to torture you?

Bellatrix Lestrange likes this.

Rodolphus Lestrange: Well… no.

Bellatrix Lestrange: Nice comeback…

The Order Of The Phoenix likes This.

Lord Voldemort: All of you liked it? When she's killed and tortured loads of you? See, Rodolphus, this is how much everyone hates you. And you're worthless. Useless, really. I can't remember why I marked you anymore...

Bellatrix Lestrange likes this.

Lord Voldemort: Thanks for liking most of my comments, Bells.

Bellatrix Lestrange: BELLS? YOU JUST CALLED ME BELLS? :D :D :D :D :D :D

Lord Voldemort: Yes… yes, I did.

Hermione Granger: Erm.

Harry Potter, Luna Lovegood and 204 others like this.