Steve awoke with a gasp, his body shooting straight up in a sitting position. His body shakes with fear and he struggles to bring air into his hungry lungs. The room is dark, the only light being the moonlight illuminating through the window curtains. Steve felt trapped, suffocated. He needed to get out. He needed air.
Without another thought, he threw the covers off of his overheated body and struggled to get to a standing position. If it weren't for a damn stomach, he'd be able to move faster, but he stuck spending three minutes getting to standing position.
Once he stood, he ignored the confused groans from the other side of the bed and made a break for the door. He ran past rooms and down empty hallways before making his way to the stairway to the rooftop. His hot bare feet shiver appreciatively when they touch the cold cement of the rooftop and his lungs lighten immediately.
Without caring if he was being selfish, Steve sucked in three large gulps of air for his starving lungs. He continued to stumble until he made it to the edge of the building, where he braced himself against the wall that overlooked the city. Leaning as forward as he could, Steve rested his forehead against the cool wall and continued to just breathe. There was a sharp pain in his lower abdomen, but he paid no attention to it. His mind too preoccupied. He began to openly cry, not caring who heard or saw him.
He was a 9 month old pregnant man on the rooftop in the middle of the new, if people were awake at that hour; someone was bound to stare if they saw him.
That dream was horrible. Awful.
He can distinctly remember it. The pain, the sadness, the grief…
"AHHH!"
Steve's screams filled the air as he kept a tight grip on Thor's hand. There was so much pain. It was almost blinding. He felt like his body was being ripped apart. He actually felt on fire.
"IT'S BURNING!" He screamed in agony, tears running freely down his face. "MAKE IT STOP, MAKE IT STOP!"
"Banner!" Thor's voice booms scaring the poor doctor trying to do his job. "Can you do anything for the pain?!" He asks desperately, his voice strained as he tries to help his labored partner.
"No, he's too far dilated and his body will just burn it off before he can take effect." Bruce informs, his hand reaching forward and prodding the area that Steve claims is on fire. "Steve I see her head. You have to start pushing."
"I CANT!" He sobs, his body convulsing and his stomach visibly contracting. "I cant, I cant!" He exclaims, when the contractions over, and he slumps against Thor's chest shaking his head miserably. "It hurts too much."
"Yes you can my love. You're strong, you can do this." Thor encourages, wrapping his arms around Steve's to support him. "You're almost there, our daughter's almost here. You just need to push."
"Do it for me!" Steve wails when another contractions comes.
"Steve you have to do it now!" Bruce shouts, his eyes widening in fear. "The umbilical cord is wrapped around her neck. If you don't push, she'll die."
Without any more encouragement, Steve reaches forward to grab onto his knees and pushes with all the energy left in his worn body. He can feel something shifting downward and screams as he's ripped open to his limits.
A minute later, the pressure in his lower region dissipates and there's silence for a few seconds. Steve grows concerned when Bruce doesn't announce the gender of the baby or when he doesn't hear his child cry. Looks over at the doctor where Bruce stands, with the limp babe in his hands. "Bruce?" Getting worried, he leans forward and reaches his arm out for his baby. "What's wrong? Why isn't she crying?" Bruce looks up at Steve, sorrow etched onto his face. Steve's heart begins hammering in his chest. "Give me my baby."
"I'm so sorry Steve." Bruce whispers placing the baby on his chest.
It wasn't a girl like Steve and Thor predicted. It was a beautiful baby boy, but he wasn't breathing. He was small, weak and limp in Steve's arms.
He was dead.
He died in Steve's stomach.
"No… no, no, NO!"
And he woke up.
He's had a few nightmares about his baby, but none as bad as this one had been. What comforted him the most was feeling his child kicking underneath his palm. This reminded him that his baby was safe and sound inside his belly, where they can be protected from the dangers of the world. Only, when the baby is born, it wouldn't be safe inside him anymore. It'd be alive, living the cruel world of society.
That's what scared him the most.
He was too consumed with his thoughts that he didn't hear the rooftop doors open behind him. He startles when a voice speaks behind him, "Steve?"
Whirling around, he finds himself face to face with Natasha Romanoff. She's standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame, watching him with worried eyes. Steve relaxes immediately. "Hey 'Tasha."
She raises an eyebrow, "You okay?"
Steve opens his mouth to say no, but then falters. This causes the redhead to raise her eyebrow even higher. Sighing, he shakes his head and turns his back to her hoping she'll go away.
Sadly she doesn't. "What's wrong?" She has such silent footfalls Steve didn't hear her walking up to him until she was right behind him.
He shrugs off her concern, "Nothing." He doesn't want to talk about his dream to anyone. He doesn't want anyone knowing he's having doubts about this baby, especially Thor.
"Don't do that." Natasha walks into his peripherals and he can see her shaking her head. "Don't push people away. It's not good for you, especially in your condition."
"I just want to be alone." He admits, not caring if he sounds rude. Right now, he desperately wants to be alone.
Natasha sighs and turns her back to the city, leaning against the wall so she can face Steve. "Look, either you talk to me or you talk to Thor. And I can tell you, I'm less persistent as Thor." Steve remains silent, his eyes roaming over the city as his hands rub over his huge swell in a comforting manner. Natasha's eyes flicker quickly to Steve's stomach before looking up into her Captain's eyes. "Are you worrying about the baby?"
Steve looks down at the assassin before reverting his eyes. There's nothing for a few minutes as she waits for Steve to say something, not prying. She's almost certain he wouldn't reply when he actually does. "Yes…" It's so quiet, if you weren't paying attention, you wouldn't know he said anything. But Natasha was. He turns to look at her, his eyes reflecting his fear and sorrow. "What if I lose this baby? What if I fail it?"
"What's makes you think that this baby's going to die?" Natasha inquires, leaning forward slightly.
Steve glances at her before turning his full attention to his stomach where he cradles it protectively. "I had a dream… I lost the baby."
Natasha's eyebrows furrow in confusion, "And you think that means you're going to lose the baby. Steve we have nightmares all the time, it doesn't make them real." She reaches out and grabs onto his hand, pulling it away from his stomach so she can squeeze it reassuringly. "You're not going to lose this baby Steve. No one's going to take it from you."
"How do you know?" Steve's asks in a thick voice, barely holding back tears as he thinks of the small, limp body he held in his dream. "You can't guarantee anything. Bruce said there was a possibility my baby wouldn't survive."
"Bruce also said that I couldn't conceive." Gestures down to her tiny baby bump, "And look where that got Clint and I."
Steve looks down at Natasha's belly before turning his head directly the other way. "This is different. You're a woman, I'm a guy. You're side has babies all the time and everything turns out perfect. I'm the first guy to ever become pregnant; the first super solider to become pregnant at that. There's no guarantee my baby can survive. Yours will."
"Hey," Squeezes his hand and forces him to look at her, "There's a first time for everything and besides, you'll be a way better parent than Clint and I combined. Don't get me wrong, we'll try, but you'll be even better because nurturing comes naturally to you. I mean look at how you interact with Saturn."
Saturn Stark, Tony and Pepper Stark's 5 year old daughter. It was obvious to everyone that Steve was her favorite uncle considering how much time they spend together crafting and drawing. Little Saturn loved her uncle Steve. She always wanted him to read her bedtime stories, draw with her, watch movies with her, tuck her into bed and, occasionally, sing her to sleep. She follows him around like a little puppy, especially since she found out he was pregnant. She wanted to be where Steve was all the time and would always take any opportunity to touch Steve's belly and feel the baby inside kick. Sometimes she would kick Thor out of his own bed so she could sleep with Steve and the baby. "To protect them." she'd claim. It's adorable how much she loves Steve and he loves her with all his heart. When she was first born, he fell in love with her the moment he walked into Pepper's hospital room. When he found out he was pregnant, he was excited to know that in a few short months, he'd have his own little Saturn.
"Don't think about the negatives," She sighs and shakes her head, "Just think about that moment, after you have your baby, how amazing it will feel to hold your child for the first time. And not in your stomach, but in your arms. Steve, you'll feel so much love for this baby that as soon as you hold him or her, you'll think back to tonight and laugh. You're just having cold feet right now, it'll go away."
Steve sighs sadly, bowing his head, "I don't know."
Natasha gives him a sympathetic look before patting his hand softly, "You will, I promise." Standing up straighter, Natasha gives Steve a quick hug before walking away. Just before leaving through the door, she turns back to him, "I'll leave you alone now, but you'll see Steve. Everything's going to be okay."
Steve turns his head to catch Natasha's eyes for a second before she leaves and he's left alone to his thoughts and to Natasha's departing words.
.
.
.
Steve awoke with a muffled groan of pain and gasp. He can feel the floor rumbling beneath him and see the thunder outside. It was raining cats and dogs tonight. Steve couldn't see anything outside the window. Luckily he was nice and warm inside his room where the rain and thunder couldn't get him. He's just calmed himself down from what had woke him up. A Braxton Hicks contraction. They were becoming more frequent nowadays.
After Steve's adventure to the roof and his conversation with Natasha, he made his way inside and back to his room. He climbed under the covers after he took a sleeping pill- which was safe to take Bruce had said- and wrapped himself in Thor's arms. He was sleeping peacefully when he suddenly felt a pressure built in his pelvis and the all familiar pain of a contraction.
Looking over at the clock, he sighs when he sees it's only 7 in the morning. There's no point in going back to sleep. The team will be up in an hour and expecting breakfast, although that was Clint's job today. He'll save Clint the agony since he can't go back to sleep. He's about to get out of bed when he suddenly feels something makes him stop. It's not a contraction. Just pressure… a lot of pressure.
He felt something shift inside him and he barely had time to get out of bed before he felt a pressure in naval
Water began running down his legs and the sharp pain that followed caused him to fall down back onto the bed. The jolt of the bed was enough to wake Thor who was always a light sleeper. "Steve?" He mumbled softly, reaching an arm out to Steve's side of the bed. Steve was in too much to answer, but he reached out to grasp onto Thor's searching hand. He gives it a good squeeze causing Thor to open his eyes. "Steve?" Sitting up in bed, he finds his husband hunched over himself and his body tense. It doesn't make sense why until he crawls closer and finds the puddle of water on the floor. "You're in labor." He says before a particularly loud thunder storm sounds causing Steve to jump.
The pain was unbearable and he couldn't move. "G-Get… get Bruce." He whispers softly in a moment of relief. "I-I can't move." Another loud thunder sounds. "Can you please turn that off?!" Steve yells irritated.
"It is not me, my love. It's merely human nature." Thor says getting up from the bed and quickly pulling his pants.
"I can't take the noise. I can't take the noise." He says, his breath hitching when another contraction hits. "Hurry! The contractions are only a few minutes apart."
.
.
.
"AHHH!"
Steve's screams filled the air as he kept a tight grip on Thor's hand. There was so much pain. It was almost blinding. He felt like his body was being ripped apart. He actually felt on fire.
"IT'S BURNING!" He screamed in agony, tears running freely down his face. "MAKE IT STOP, MAKE IT STOP!"
"Banner!" Thor's voice booms scaring the poor doctor trying to do his job. "Can you do anything for the pain?!" He asks desperately, his voice strained as he tries to help his labored partner.
"No, he's too far dilated and his body will just burn it off before he can take effect." Bruce informs, his hand reaching forward and prodding the area that Steve claims is on fire. "Steve I see her head. You have to start pushing."
"I CANT!" He sobs his body convulsing and his stomach visibly contracting. "I cant, I cant!" He exclaims, when the contractions over, and he slumps against Thor's chest shaking his head miserably. "It hurts too much."
"Yes you can my love. You're strong, you can do this." Thor encourages, wrapping his arms around Steve's to support him. "You're almost there, our daughter's almost here. You just need to push."
"Do it for me!" Steve wails when another contraction comes.
"Steve you have to do it now!" Bruce shouts, his eyes widening in fear. "The umbilical cord is wrapped around her neck. If you don't push, she'll die."
Without any more encouragement, Steve reaches forward to grab onto his knees and pushes with all the energy left in his worn body. He can feel something shifting downward and screams as he's ripped open to his limits.
A minute later, the pressure in his lower region dissipates and there's silence for a few seconds. Steve's heart squeezes in his chest when there's no cry. 'No this is not happening. This is not happening. Please cry.'
He closes his eyes and waits a moment before finally…
"ahhh! Ahh!"
He lets out a deep breath and begins to cry as tears pour down his face. His baby was alive. He or she was alive. Steve opens his eyes to see the squirming pink body being held up by Bruce. "It's a boy!" He says excitedly wrapping the baby in a blue blanket before placing the small body on Steve's chest and allows the parents to look at their little boy.
"Hey buddy." Steve coos down at the bundle before looking up at Thor. "Look at what we made."
"He will be a handsome one." Thor says, his hand coming to caress the baby's soft head. "What shall we call him?"
Steve stares down at his baby. Thor and he had been going on for months about names. Girl and boy names. Now that they know the gender, a name in particular had stuck in his mind for this exact moment. "I really like Erik." He answers, holding his baby closer.
"Erik Odinson-Rogers." Thor agrees smiling lovingly down at his son. His little Erik. Steve continued to stare down at his baby before suddenly laughing. "What is it?"
Steve looks up at Thor, his eyes beaming. "I guess he really is your son. Born in a thunderstorm and all."
Thor's only response is laughing.
