Chapter 1: Heaven & Hell
Naruto
Six more minutes...
The clock on the wall of the dense auditorium was slowly tick-tick-ticking away the seconds to the beginning of Nartuo's first weekend as a sophomore at KSU - Konoha State University. Being a sophomore in high school versus being a sophomore in college were two very, very different things. For one thing, high school was lame. For another, college meant it was easier to get drunk, and that is exactly what Naruto planned on doing right after class. Plus, as a sophomore, he and most of his friends were eighteen, meaning they were able to get into the bars. "Eighteen to party, Twenty-one to drink!" was the slogan for many of the local drinking spots. It was like they were begging students to drink while still being underaged.
Four more minutes...
It was 2:46. Class ended at 2:50. As soon as the long hand of the clock hit 59, Naruto was going to bust out of that class room and probably skip out of pure joy to get home and drink a beer. Naruto ran his fingers through his blonde hair, which he had styled with a bit of a spike to it that day.
Two more minutes...
"Alright, class, I want you to write me a small essay," the class groaned as their professor, Hiruzen Sarutobi, started to close his laptop. "And by small essay, I mean single page, single spaced, and typed. The focus of your essay should be to explain your current understanding of the LGBT community, or lack thereof. I know this is the first week, and I am assuming many of you still do not have printers. So this is the only assignment you can email to me. Understood?"
The class gave an affirmative groan, and was dismissed. Naruto, being a little too excited, stumbled on his way out of his seat and bumped into someone quite forcefully.
"Hey, come on, watch where you're - oh! Naruto!" It was Ino, a girl who lived in the same dormitory as Naruto last year.
"Sup, Ino? Sorry about that. Oh, shit, by the way, I'm going to Heaven & Hell with the gang after pre-gaming at Temari's. Wanna come?" Naruto patted the girl on the shoulder apologetically.
"I've been one of the people planning what is going to happen tonight, Naruto." She sighed. "Come on, walk with me to the edge of campus."
"So are you gonna wear somethin' super duper slutty?" Naruto said in a very high, feminine voice while he narrowed his eyes suggestively at his companion.
"Oh, of course! We're going to the gay bar, why wouldn't I wear something extremely slutty?"
"Well I mean. No dude is gonna hit on your there." Naruto said blandly.
"No shit, Sherlock. That's the point. People actually respect boundaries at Heaven & Hell. I can be super saiyan skanky and even people who are attracted to me won't try and finger me on the dance floor." Ino shivered in disgust.
"Oh god, did that happen at Visions again?" Naruto asked, genuinely concerned. Visions was a local (and very trashy) night club.
"Almost. Except it was that Lee kid this time. I think he drank way too much and got a little carried away. You know he isn't like that normally. Kiba kept egging him on," She explained.
"Ugh, I wish I had been here with you guys for the summer. I could have seen his expression when you bashed his face in. I bet it was priceless."
"I mean, yeah, it's pretty funny looking back on it... but..."
"But if anything like that ever happens again, I'll kill the fucker." Naruto growled.
"I know you will. That's why I keep you around," Ino said, pinching Naruto's cheek playfully.
The two had come to the edge of campus. Going left for five minutes would lead to Ino's house. Going straight for ten or fifteen led to Naruto's apartment. They said their temporary goodbyes and went in their separate directions, Naruto shouting some obscenities as he went. Meanwhile, across campus, a new transfer student was being interrogated by one of Naruto's friends.
Sasuke
Sasuke Uchiha had recently transferred to KSU so he could be closer to his brother, who attended Konoha's Academy for the Blind about forty-five minutes away. He sat in his cafe seat, his head lazily resting on the palm of his hand, rolling his eyes as the girl in front of him blabbed on and on.
Her name was Sakura, and the two of them had attended high school together. She couldn't believe it when they had ran into each other in line for coffee and demanded Sasuke sit down while she continued to run her annoying fucking mouth. Sasuke was going insane just listening to her. At that moment, she was talking about her summer job as a daycare worker and instead of really listening, Sasuke decided to count the number of times his eyebrow began to twitch with suppressed annoyance. So far, he was at three times.
"And now, he asks for me every day! He's such a cute little kid!" Sasuke's eyes slowly rolled in Sakura's direction. She had finally stopped. Or so it had appeared. "I can't wait to have kids. What about you, Sasuke?"
"I hate children," Sasuke said in a very brisk voice. Sakura nervously laughed his comment off.
"Oh Sasuke, you're so funny," She reached over to touch his forearm, which he was using to support his head, and he quickly removed it under the guise of checking his phone. Surprisingly, he did have a missed called from one of his brother's friends.
"Hey, I actually need to leave. My brother called," Sasuke lied.
"Oh! Okay, well, I'll see you around, right? You should totally come out to the bars tonight - we're going to Heaven & Hell!" She said excitedly, standing with him.
"I'm sure it'll be wonderful whether I'm there or not," he mumbled, walking away and beginning to return his missed call.
"Hey, asshole." A voice purred.
"Hello, Deidara. How are you?" Sasuke asked politely. He was finally outside and walking towards his apartment.
"Wow, there's like... very little bite to your words today. Are you in a good mood? Did you get laid?" Deidara asked with mock enthusiasm.
"It's a bit early for that," Sasuke chuckled darkly. "No, you saved me from this really over-the-top girl who went to high school with us. She graduated with me."
"Oh yeah? What's her name?"
"Sakura Haruno," Sasuke answered.
"OH GOD. Not that bimbo that was always following you around?! Didn't she try out for the female lead in the school play because someone told her you were the male lead your freshman year?"
"Deidara, that was you. You were the one who did that to her."
"Ah, well," Deidara sighed. "Whatever. I don't remember you complaining when she wasn't able to beg you to walk her home for the two months after that, due to play practices."
"Yes, that was very kind of you to lie to a young girl for me, Deidara. You're so thoughtful." Sasuke said dryly, rolling his eyes.
"There we go, Sassy Sasuke is back. So tell me, what are your plans tonight?" Deidara waited patiently for a response.
"Uh... I'm not very sure," Sasuke answered with honesty.
"Well, then it is decided. You're coming to the gay bar tonight. I work the opening shift, so I'll be off by 10:30. We can drink together and check out hot dudes." Deidara chuckled.
"Is it going to be really busy...?" Sasuke said, wearily.
"No, not really. There will be a decent crowd, I'm sure, but nothing crazy. There's some up and coming DJ at Visions tonight, so most people will be there." Deidara explained.
"Visions?" Sasuke asked, trying to subtly remind Deidara that he was new in town.
"It's a night club. Kind of scummy, to be honest. But whatever, you know I make the best drinks, regardless of where we are. And like I said, we can check out boys." Deidara said the last part in a sing-song voice.
"...can you promise there will be hot boys?" Sasuke smirked.
"Yes. Yes, I can, Mr. Homo," Deidara cackled into the phone. "I'll send you the address in a text. See you later!"
Sasuke hung up the phone and continued his walk towards his apartment. Waiting for him there was a bottle of wine Deidara had given him as an "apartment warming gift," some left over steak, and maybe an episode of The Walking Dead before he would even think of getting ready to go out.
Naruto
Back at his studio apartment, Naruto had finished doing the last of his dishes from dinner. He took his left overs (a few meat scraps) outside to put in a small bowl for the stray black cat that lurked the complex, who he named Bruce. After a moment, he decided the cat was not coming right away, and that he should get ready instead of waiting.
He went into his bathroom, peeled off his t-shirt and stared in the mirror. He was tan and toned, with a few strands of pale skin here and there - the scars from small accidents on his dirt bike. He flexed a bit, trying to boost his ego, picked at a patch of dry skin on his forehead, and all those other pre-shower things he did on a regular basis. Finally, he hopped into the warm water. Nonchalantly, Naruto decided to rub one out while in the water just in case he did go home with someone later in the evening. He always lasted so much longer if he had already orgasmed once that day. He didn't have high hopes, though. It had been more than six months since he had gotten any action and he had no idea why. He was attractive. He was funny. He was kind. Naruto had thought about this regularly, and each time, he came to the same assumption: no one gave him what he really wanted.
This wasn't always the case. In high school, Naruto fucked anything that moved. It was partially due to the fact that he wanted to figure out his sexual preference, but mostly because he was just in love with the way sex felt. He loved being close to someone. Maybe he was picky. Maybe he was just sick of college hookups. He preferred romance to just quick flings, anyway. Who knows, Naruto thought. Who cares! Time to get drunk! And with that, he grabbed a beer from the kitchen and strutted to his closet to pick out some clothes.
Naruto sat at his kitchen table, scrolling through Facebook on his laptop. He was checking out the last few photos of his group of friends that were taken just before freshman year had ended. He was so excited to see all of them.
In the photo he was currently looking at, there were three people from his high school in Enkou: Shikamaru, Choji, and Ino. Shikamaru was a narrow-faced boy with thick black hair. He studied engineering. Choji was as tall as he was wide (which was pretty damn wide), played on the football team and had refused to choose a major yet. Next was Ino, who he had only seen hours before, who's blonde hair and hourglass figure made many people stop and stare. She wanted to teach elementary school students. Then there was Sakura, a girl who lived with Ino freshman year and was pre-med. Naruto was in the photo next to her, a psychology student with blazing blonde hair. After himself were the people Sakura added to the group from Shiromachi, the largest city in the state: Kiba, Hinata, and Sai. Kiba was an auto engineer who was either glued to his skateboard, a girl, or his bong. Hinata was a photography student and was very... quiet. But not in a secretive way. Just shy. Sai, on the other hand, was kind of weird. He was an art student who regularly argued with their other friend, Kankuro, about whether or not art was something that really requires a degree. Kankuro, a local with his siblings Temari and Gaara, was an artist like Sai, but had never gone to school for art. Temari was in her final year and would be leaving with a degree in fashion design and marketing. Lastly, there was Gaara, who was going to be an architect. Naruto smiled lovingly at the photo just as a message popped up on his screen from Shikamaru.
Hey, asshole, are you still coming over?
Naruto snorted and quickly typed a response.
Yeah, dickwad, I am. I'm just finishing up this beer and I'll be omw.
Closing his laptop and standing up, Naruto chugged the remainder of his beer. He quickly popped into the bathroom to check out his outfit one more time - a dark blue button down with khaki shorts. He rolled up the sleeves a third of the way and unbuttoned the top few buttons, exposing just a bit of his tanned chest.
"Perfect," He said, grabbing his mouth wash from the counter. He spat, and ran to grab his phone, wallet and keys before skipping out the door. He was going to be pre-gaming with his friends at Temari's house, which was closest to Heaven & Hell. Heaven & Hell, Naruto's favorite bar, which happened to be the only gay bar in town, was the ultimate destination of the evening. It had a little something for everyone because it was actually two bars connected by a large arched doorway. One side, the side they would no doubtably start at, was more like a sports bar, which had pool tables, beer pong, darts and tons of TVs to watch the popular games on. This side was called Hell. Every employee wore black. Next door was where everyone ended up when they were as drunk as skunks - the night club, called Heaven. It had a main floor with two bars and then three ascending dance floors. Of course, the main level was a dance floor as well, but these three specific floors were made from tiles with LED lights in them, each one connected by a staircase. The employees wore white t shirts with angel wings printed on the back in neon colors. The black lights throughout the bar made them pop. Though the bar proudly supported the LGBT community, it wasn't the kind of gay bar people normally think of. It really was a bar for everyone. Straight, gay, asexual, you name it. But because it proudly sported gay flags along the outside, it was labeled the only gay bar around. Deep in his thoughts about the night ahead, Naruto arrived at Temari's in no time. It was only a ten minute walk from his apartment. Instead of knocking, he simply walked right in.
"Honey, I'm home!" Naruto called loudly. He heard multiple shrieks.
"Narutoooo~!" He felt an impact around his chest and looked down to see Temari hugging him, and Ino close behind. "What took you so long?!"
"I got lost on the path of life," He said airily, quoting a teacher almost all of them had had the previous year for Intro to Film. Temari giggled and started to pull him further into the house.
"We've been waiting for you! Well... Waiting to start the games. I'm sorry, I'm already drunk." She had a red tint to her cheeks and tried fanning herself a bit.
"I can tell." Naruto chuckled. "What do you have for me?"
"Well, I decided to get stuff we all like to make something and..."
"What did you make?!" Naruto asked excitedly.
"Vegas bombs!" Ino responded, carrying three shots. "Here!"
Instead of letting Ino pass the three shots to herself, Naruto and Temari, Naruto took them all and knocked them back as fast as he could. They weren't extremely strong, but easy to consume, which made them very dangerous.
"Heyyyyy!" Ino said, whining.
"Heyyyyy, yourself! I need to play catch-up! Now, where is everyone else?"
"They're all downstairs," Temari said, starting to lead the way again.
Naruto followed, but ended up beating Temari to the stairs. He ran down them and jumped the last few, landing loudly and stretching his arms outward as if he just won the gold medal in douchebaggery.
"The party..." He said dramatically, "has arrived."
Everyone either choked on their own laughter or cackled at him. Naruto used to pull shit like this all the time in high school, trying to get everyone's attention, but it ended up just annoying people. Now, however, people thought it was so stupid that it was hilarious, and they loved it. Glancing around the room, he saw all of his friends in the main area of the basement, sharing the three large goodwill couches Temari had or sitting on the floor.
Sasuke
It was about 10 pm when Sasuke walked up to the entrance of the bar, and upon seeing the name of the establishment, his eyebrow began to twitch.
With four gay flags, two on each side of the front door and flailing in the evening air, was the bar called Heaven & Hell. It was the bar the girl he ran into earlier, Sakura, had mentioned. Now he was doomed to see her tonight. Then again, it was the "prominently gay" bar in this particular college town, so maybe if his stalker caught him making out with another man, she'd drop the pursuit. Sighing, Sasuke went inside.
The bar was very sporty. It was full of school banners and TVs. There were a few employees, all walking around in all black. Their shirts had red lettering on them that said "Hell." On the back, there were little pointed tails, as if they were wiggling up from the workers' asses. Sasuke scanned the bar, but he didn't see Deidara. Walking passed it, he saw another doorway that seemed to lead into a black hole with thumping music. Over the arch, in smooth, swirly writing was "Welcome to Heaven." Sasuke walked through and peered around the second half of the building. He spotted Deidara instantly and walked over to his friend's corner of the bar. Deidara, a man with long, blonde hair was wearing a white crop top that said "Heaven" on the front and had angel wings on the back. He paired this with bright (probably brighter due to the black lights) pink capri leggings.
"Don't you look especially flamboyant," Sasuke remarked as he sat down on a stool.
"Well, why wouldn't I? I love these things under black lights!" Deidara responded, wiggling his butt a little and indicating towards his leggings. "What can I get you?"
"Let's make it a vodka tonic with some lime," Sasuke said.
"Wow, such mature, very old man," Deidara commented as he began to make the drink, referring to the infamous Doge Meme. Sasuke rolled his eyes.
"I'll get sweeter stuff as the night goes on. So, where are all the attractive males you promised me?" Sasuke indicated to the bar, which had very few occupants.
"You got here early. Most people don't show up for another hour. Well, anyone of age, I guess. The youngsters like to show up earlier because as the night goes on, they get charged cover for the 'lack of drinks' they buy." Deidara winked. "I've actually got a crew of regulars that are coming in soon. You'll like a few of them."
"Oh?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow.
"Then again, you might want to kill them. I can never tell with you," Deidara chuckled, and so did Sasuke.
"So tell me about them," Sasuke demanded as he sipped his drink. It was particularly strong.
"Well, there's one full-on gay guy. His name is Gaara. But he's just as broody as you. You guys would make an awful couple," Deidara started. "And I think his brother, Kankuro, might be gay too. But I could be wrong. I can't tell because he's so artsy fartsy and paints his face. Either way, he's a little pretentious, so..."
"Not my type either, then," Sasuke finished for the bartender.
"Right. And then there's a few others. Some girls. A few of them went to our high school. I think they graduated with you. One kid is a total stoner. I can never remember his name. Kenny? Kyle? I don't know. And some girl who is super pale and shy. I don't even know why she comes out. She just hides behind her friends!" Deidara exclaimed. "Then there's that Sakura girl. She's sometimes in the group, other times, she's too busy. Other than that, the people in the group are mostly from Enkou, that town three hours north of here and three hours south of home. One of them is really feisty." There was a glimmer of mischievousness in Deidara's eye.
"Feisty?" Sasuke repeated. "What's his name?
"Narutooooo!" Deidara yelled, raising his arms above his head. "Come over here and give me a hug!"
A blonde blur ran to the bar and was suddenly standing next to Sasuke, leaning over the counter and hugging Deidara around the neck. Behind this person, who Deidara called Naruto, was a group of people. One of which was Sakura. This must be the regular troop Deidara mentioned, Sasuke thought. Slowly, Sakura noticed that Sasuke was sitting at the bar and squeaked.
"Sasuke! How are you?! You actually came!" She lunged forward and grabbed at Sasuke, her arms finally wrapping around his neck. He could feel eyes on him.
"Actually, I'm here to see my friend Deidara," He said as coldly as he could.
"Oi, you know Deidara?" Someone with a voice that reminded him oddly of sandpaper spoke up. Sasuke glanced in the voice's direction. It was the Naruto guy who had ran to see Deidara. Trying to push Sakura away as politely as he could so he had a better view of the man, he spotted a friendly grin. "I'm Naruto. Nice to meet you."
"I'm Sasuke," The dark haired man shook hands with the blonde.
"Deidara, lemme open a tab, and lets get..." Naruto seemed to be thinking. "Twelve... Well, thirteen, if you can do one, of those fifty cent shots."
"Fifty cent shots?" Sasuke asked and pretended to bristle towards Deidara. "You asshole! I paid four dollars for this, but I could load up on cheap ass shots instead?!"
"You said you didn't want to start off with anything too sweet! They are sweet tart shots," Deidara said, raising his hands in mock surrender. "Just shut your mouth and be grateful. I gave you an extra shot of vodka in that drink."
"Blah blah blah," Sasuke said, rolling his eyes. "Wait, thirteen shots? There's only eleven in your party, though."
"Well, one for you, too. Any friend of Deidara's is a friend of mine," Naruto said, flashing a toothy grin again.
"Be careful saying that. Have you seen his friends from home? Awfully weird." Sasuke sneered towards Deidara.
"Oh shush, Naruto is one of the few babies that can understand me," Deidara ruffled the other blonde's hair before setting down a tray of shots. "Here ya are, lucky thirteen!"
The group rushed forward to take one each. Sasuke was handed one by Naruto, who, surprise surprise, smiled again. He was briefly introduced to the members of the group. A few of them stuck out. The boy Deidara mentioned earlier as gay, Gaara, was towards the back of the group. He had fiery red hair. Another boy, named Shikamaru, seemed to have a very dry sense of humor, which Sasuke enjoyed. Sakura refused to leave his side and clung even tighter to him when another girl, by the name of Ino, came up to say hello.
Finally, as a group, they all threw back their shots. A few gagged, Sasuke included, but in the end, they all laughed. Sasuke especially laughed when Naruto ordered another round of the sugar-infused shots and everyone groaned.
"I'll get this round, how about that?" Sasuke said, sliding a card over to Deidara. "Leave it open."
