Ten Men and A Little Lady

A/N - Decided to try my hand at drabble/short and one-shot writing. Born from my frustration of not being able to find much featuring Bonney. Along with Drake, Urouge, Apoo... make that everyone but Luffy and Zoro. Spotlight-hoggers.


Disclaimer - One Piece is not mine.


1. Adoption

"Another one?" exclaimed a large woman as she stared open-mouthed at Vice Admiral Garp. Under one of his bulky arms was a small boy, and he had just finished informing the bandit that he was now her responsibility.

Dadan slammed her fist against the doorway, leaving a round indentation in the wood. "I'm not running a damned orphanage here, Garp! Forget it!"

The old marine grinned dangerously. "What? You're refusing me? Did you forget how many of your illegal activities I've chosen to overlook? My grandson, Luffy, should make a wonderful addition to your brood!" He gave a hearty laugh. Dadan failed to see the humor in the situation.

"G-grandson? The other seven are bad enough as it is! I can't handle this kid on top of it!"

He waved a hand in dismissal. "You wont even notice he's here. It's not like you have a choice anyway. Unless you'd rather go to prison."

Dadan looked at the kid, then back up at Garp, then glanced over her shoulder at the group gathered in the room behind her. She sighed in defeat as the the boy wriggled out from Garp's hold and ran into her hideout.

"...This better be the last one."

Garp left and the woman slammed the door shut. With a growl she stomped into the center of the room and began yelling.

"Listen up! Garp dumped another one of you rug-rats onto me, so make sure he does what he's supposed to!" She pointed a finger at Luffy who was gazing at his new siblings in wonder.

As usual they refused to take her seriously.

"Why the hell should we, you fat hag." A pale boy with brightly contrasting hair sneered at her derisively.

She received a similar answer from a boy with dark smudges under his eyes, but in a more polite form. "Don't tell me what to do, Miss Dadan."

"Why aren't the others back yet? I'm hungry." The only girl of the bunch whined while clutching her growling stomach.

Dadan clenched her teeth hard enough that she could feel the blood pulsing in her temples. Stupid Garp and his stupid foster grandchildren. Where did he keep finding them all? They took her perfectly respectable base and turned it into a zoo!

Ace was the first, but certainly not the last. He mostly kept to himself so she wasn't too concerned with him.

Garp brought the second a year later. The ever stoic Hawkins didn't give her too much trouble since he was the oldest of the bunch. His psychic warnings played a hand in preventing the bandits from getting caught several times. She just wished he'd find another hobby instead of constantly making those creepy dolls.

Then there was number three. Killer, as the bandits appropriately called him. He barely spoke and no one, aside from Kid, had any clue as to what he looked like. So far all attempts to remove the mask against his will had resulted in injury.

Brat number four had arrived at the same time as Killer. A nasty, foul-mouthed twerp, Kid's vocabulary managed to both disgust and amaze her. As morally bankrupt as Dadan was, she couldn't repeat half the things the little spike-haired heathen said. However, he made a terrific thief so the bandit leader refrained from strangling him on account of how much loot he brought back.

Despite the fifth one being female this did not give Dadan an easier time dealing with her. Bonney acted eerily mature at times and yet more immature than all of them combined. There was something off about that girl. Well, aside from the fact that she could consume twice her weight in food.

The smartest of the bunch, Law, acted more like an adult than a child. They just had to remember not to order him around too much. Dadan hated having to search for missing limbs, which had the tendency to turn up in the strangest places.

Garp brought the seventh one in only a few months before Luffy. Zoro would disappear for days at a time but insisted that he never got lost. It just took an exceptionally long time for him to get to where he was going.

"Hey look, Killer, his face stretches. What a weirdo."

Yes, one big, happy, dysfunctional family.

"Ow! Who are you calling a weirdo? You don't have eyebrows!"

Dadan would count the days until she was free of them all.


2. Celebration

Using the cover of darkness a pirate captain crept silently around her own ship, careful not to wake any of the sleeping crew. Bonney wondered if they'd eventually catch on to this ploy, as every year on that day she'd offer to take night watch. Not a single person on her crew knew her birth date. The was no point in celebrating for the usual reasons, as age had no meaning to her. However, it wasn't just another year gone by, but another year that she had been free of those bastards. She would never forget.

She had to be quick, since a threat might inconveniently appear while her focus was elsewhere, so all the supplies had been prepared and hidden the previous day. A small (by her standards) cake, a fork, candles and a box of matches. The storage area was the easiest place to conceal something; no one would suspect a crate in a room that was already full of them.

Closing the door quietly behind her she hurried to the far end of the room where she'd stashed it. Luckily, the crate-inside-a-crate plan worked and was sealed tightly enough that not even the roaches managed to get in and ruin it. Arranging everything neatly on the floor she struck a match and lit every single one until their little flames tinted the white frosting yellow and orange.

Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday, dear Bonney.
Happy birthday to you.

"Make a wish," Bonney whispered to herself before taking a deep breath and blowing out all the candles.