Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling.

A/N: I'd like to thank BlackPotterGirl, a.k.a. Katie for first inspiring this story with her story LOSS, and then giving me suggestions through e-mail. "The Talk" idea was hers, as was the hospital visit…

Okay, guess what. This is SLASH! And I detest slash. But the plot bunny got annoying, and besides, I'm kind of making fun of the idea of slash.

"Um, Harry, I think we should talk," Sirius said to Harry just as he was about to go to sleep.

Harry gave his godfather an odd look. "Why are you so nervous?"

"Well, you're…let's sit down, okay?" Sirius said, pushing Harry onto the couch.

Harry rubbed his head, which had been banged on the arm of the couch, and sighed. "Okay, what do you want to tell me?"

Sirius started pacing, took a deep breath and began, "Well, you're at the age where hormones can sometimes get the better of you, and I want you to know about…the birds and the bees before…well, anyway. I don't know how much you would know about that sort of thing--"

"Sirius, I already know, and besides that, I'm--"

"Oh, all right then, so I don't have to explain anything. Now, I have to say, just in case you get a girlfriend and something happens, I want you to know about--"

Harry interrupted, "Sirius, I'm--"

"If anything happens between you and your girlfriend, I want you to promise me that you will use protection. And also, if anything does, um, happen, and she does end up pregnant, promise you'll take full responsibility. I don't want you to deny anything because you're afraid. I won't be happy, but I won't hate you," Sirius continued, without even letting Harry talk.

"Sirius, I'm--"

Sirius stopped pacing and faced Harry. "Promise me Harry," he said urgently.

Harry breathed deeply through his nose. "Sirius, listen to me. I'm--"

"Already a father?!" Sirius said wildly.

"No, I'm--"

"Been sexually active since you were thirteen?!" Sirius said, nearly hysterical by now.

"NO!" Harry bellowed. "Sirius, I'm GAY!"

Hearing that, Sirius clutched his chest, and dropped the ground gasping. "Sharp pain…get help!" Sirius gasped, before passing out.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

When Sirius woke up in the Muggle hospital the next day, it was to Harry's anxious face.

"Sirius, I'm really sorry about giving you a heart attack," Harry said guiltily.

Sirius grinned at him. "Don't worry about it. I must have been quite near it anyway, I could've sworn you said you were gay." Sirius laughed. "Ridiculous, eh?"

Harry shifted guiltily in his hospital chair. "Um, actually Sirius…"

THE END