This is a oneshot and will not be continued. And is based on the song ready, set, don't go by Billy Ray Cyrus. And oh yes, it's also told from Cory's point of view. I hope you enjoy it.
I knew, that whatever I did. I just had to be strong.
And if not for myself. Then for my daughter moving all of her things in boxes into her small SUV down on the pavement. And her car only just big enough to fit what was all of her things, all of her life.
And I could barely imagine that this was the same person that I had been holding in my hands while looking up at my Topanga while we stated the exact same name at once.
The one and only name that we had agreed on if the baby was a girl.
"Riley"
To give her the name that she had was all about what I and Topanga thought and what kind of names we liked. Coming here today, nothing we would have said or thought or did could change what was happening. No matter how much we wanted to freeze this moment, for Riley never to leave our home, and us behind.
But still. We had to let Riley dream and try her own wings. Even though, if I would have guessed. I would probably not have guessed that she would have moved from one of the biggest towns on earth to a small place in the middle of nowhere in the middle of nowhere. But whatever took her closer to the goal of her dreams! Even if it meant she had to leave this town and me behind.
"Is this the last one?" Riley came up on the porch and asked me about the box I was holding. I nodded, but couldn't bear to get my voice to hold because of the growing lump in my throat. Riley smiled again, and I could see the light shining from her eyes before I looked down on the car and glanced over it and through the windows once after the other.
But fact remained, there were too many things, and even though she was meeting up with Maya in her pickup before leaving town. I couldn't have caught a ride with any of them even if they had wanted me to.
And I knew, that whatever I did. I just had to be strong.
When Riley had put that last box in the back of the car she came up on the porch again. At first she went over to her brother, eleven year old August. And then they just stood there holding onto each other's hands before she shot forward and embraced Auggie as tightly as it was possible. I heard some half- muffled sobs from Auggie's side. But Riley was silent, also when she hugged her mother, and then came to me.
"Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life" I managed to squeeze out through my thick throat. "But you do know, whenever you need me. You can just get yourself here or give me a call and I'll catch the first plane possible." Riley nodded slightly.
"I know dad. But you know just as well as I do that I need to stand on my own two feet and try my own wings." I nodded and forced a slight smile. But it must have looked more like a half- hearted grimace. "But I do know that you still need me more than I've ever needed you."
When she stood like this I could see she had tears shining in her eyes. But at the same time a hunger I'd never experienced before. A hunger for dreaming and to stand on her own feet. And even though it made my heart break worse than ever. I couldn't have the heart to take that away from her. And so I just hugged her tightly, and held her like that until I could feel in the way she stood in my arms that she wanted to go. And that she needed to try her wings without me.
I laid an arm around Riley's shoulders and lead her down the porch steps and around the car to the driver's side. She got in the car and closed the door after her, but then rolled down the window when I didn't move and it seemed like she wanted to say something else while I pulled up my wallet from my pocket and got out the fifty- dollar bill I had in cash.
"Here." I handed the bill to her. "It won't last long but just something and…" I suddenly remembered something. "Auggie, can you go inside and get that carton that is standing on the kitchen table." The eleven year old nodded and jogged into the house. Then was gone for a moment before he came back with that carton in his hands and he handed it to me and I handed it to Riley through the window.
Riley unwrapped the present to the carton being filled with Nutella & go (her favorite thing ever), Reese's pieces, strawberry twizzlers, cans of Fanta and some yoghurts, a pack of bread and marmalade. So that at least she wouldn't starve. Okay, okay I know- but I was a dad!
"Thanks daddy." Riley smiled up at me and put the box in the passenger seat while I fought the tears away and then looked right ahead and put her hands on the steering wheel. "Wow, it just feels like everything's falling into place and… That every little piece of my life so far was supposed to lead to this moment."
I didn't answer that. Because if I had then I would have held her back with everything how I felt the pieces falling apart. And then she would have known that my smile was forced and only put on to hide the fact that my heart was falling into yet smaller and smaller pieces. But I couldn't say that… I couldn't hold her back
But this part wasn't where I told her how much my daddy heart was breaking and made her feel bad. This part was where I wanted to say something and hold her back with all of that I was and all of what I had, but I couldn't. I had to let her leave. I had to let her fly. No matter how much it hurt me I just had to.
"Riley, Cory." Topanga and Auggie were now down on the pavement and stood right by. "I think you two need to talk a bit on your own so…" Auggie raised his hand in a wave goodbye for his sister and Topanga reached down and kissed her baby girl's cheek just like so many times before- although none of the times like this one. "Call as soon as you get there and at least three times during the way, be strong, be safe. And don't ever hesitate to call or to come home. It doesn't matter if it's in the middle of the night or anything… You just have to give us a call and we'll catch the first plane." Riley nodded, and I could tell when she spoke again, that she was starting to have some trouble going on too. "Okay? I love you."
"I love you too mum. You too Auggie." Auggie only nodded to his big sister, and I could only guess that it was because he didn't want us to hear his voice breaking. Which was confirmed when he threw his head to the side so the long, curly fringe fell into his eyes and covered the tears. "Aw, it's okay Auggie. I'll miss you too." Auggie only nodded again. "August Matthews, I love you."
"Riley Matthews. I love you too." At last Auggie answered and his voice was shaking for certain. "I'll miss you." Riley nodded and took his hand for a split moment.
"I'll miss you too."
With that the children let go of each other's hands and Topanga laid a hand on Auggie's back and they walked together up the porch and into the house. I could hear some sobs forced quietly from Auggie, while Topanga was all silent. And then the door closed behind them and I looked down to Riley again.
"Get ready"
I smiled slightly remembering all the games we had played with ready, set, go when she was little. Through that tears that threatened to run over, but I knew I had to keep strong and so I took a step away from the car and Riley turned the motor on running and waited for me to go on.
"Set."
It broke my heart to say the last part. But I knew that this wasn't the time to go on with I love you's and I miss you's and I knew that I had to let her go. All of what I could have said would only make matters worse and I could just as well say it on the phone later. And despite it breaking my heart and every little piece of me screaming no I had to say the opposite of what I wanted to.
"Go."
Riley started driving. And watching her blue SUV going further and further away from me and my breaking heart I fell to my knees right there on the pavement. Out of nowhere, the rain had started pouring down and within two seconds I was soaking wet.
But I still didn't move, and everything I could hear. Even with the rain pouring hard towards the asphalt and the cars driving by was my heart falling into pieces, and my own, whispered words just as Riley's car disappeared around a corner.
"Please don't go."
