I've decided to edit my original story Ambivalence and post a chapter of it each week (should it be received well). I really didn't like how I ended it a few years ago when tried to make a sequel and all that. I couldn't get involved in the sequel so, it just kinda went to shit. If your a returner to this story, I apologize if you actually enjoyed where everything was going. So, instead, because I hate the idea of just ditching everything, I'm going to edit what I have and create a real ending to Ambivalence. If you want to read the original version and the attempted sequel (or "part two" or whatever the hell I had decided to call it), I'm going to leave it up for now. But I'll eventually take it down if this re-posting thing goes well.
Notes: This is set during season two of Glee. Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.
Bold= Dream
I'd done it again; put myself in someone else's warpath. But, then again, this someone actually mattered to me. So, that was okay, right?
Karofsky was up to his shenanigans again. Kurt had said it like Karofsky didn't mean any harm, but I knew better. I had never seen Kurt look so frightened. So, when I saw my step-brother thrown up against his locker in Karofsky's grasp, I couldn't stop myself from rushing down the hall and shoving the jerk away from my step-brother.
"What do you think you're doing, Karofsky?"
"Aw. Jealous I was so close to your boy, Hudson?"
My fist struck his jaw. He teetered, but caught his balance after a moment. Before I could turn to Kurt, Karofsky had thrown his fist up and punched me in the eye. It hurt, but I was too mad to pay attention. I threw a few more punches back at him, one of which knocked him straight to the floor. Slowly, I turned back towards Kurt. "Are you alright? He didn't hurt you, did he?"
He looked at me wide-eyed. "You're worried about me, Finn? Your eye is already turning blue. Come on, let's just go home."
"Okay." I'd never thought Kurt would be one to skip school, but I agreed because I knew I needed some ice.
We walked out to his car and got in. My eye was really starting to hurt. I knew Karofsky was strong, but he never dared to throw a punch at anyone- especially me and Puck.
The drive home went by fast, though. I guess I dozed off, because the next thing I knew, Kurt was opening the passenger's side door and easing me awake. "Come on, Finn. You're too big, I can't carry you."
I chuckled briefly at the idea of Kurt trying to carry me and got out of the car.
"Sit on the couch," He ordered. "I'll get some ice."
I did as he said. In less than a minute he was back in the living room placing the ice pack on my eye. I looked at him; his bright blue eyes stared back at me. This was the closest we'd ever been. I could smell him; strawberries and vanilla. I'd never noticed how pure and flawless his face looked. I guess that moisturizing thing he does every night really works.
"Finn, are you feeling okay?"
"Huh? Y-yeah, why?"
"You just muttered some comment about me looking perfect," He blushed.
"I-What?"
"Maybe you should take a nap," He handed me the ice pack and got up. "I'm going to make some snacks."
I slowly walked downstairs.
Man, I had to be more careful with Kurt. We'd gotten through the 'faggy' incident, but I'd found out Kurt is so sensitive that one mistake on my part and we're back to step one. My thoughts like to express themselves without my knowledge. I only noticed it more recently though. It's like there's nothing I can do to stop it. When I was at the mall with Kurt the other day I blurted out that his ass looked really nice in the pair of jeans he was wearing. I mean, it was a compliment, but to Kurt it would mean something more. Well, I guessed that he still had a thing for me, but maybe he didn't. We never talked about it after 'the incident' and maybe that was a good thing, but I still wondered about it sometimes. It's not like I'm gay or anything, but I don't know, it was kind of flattering to know I was appealing to guys too.
"I guess Karofsky hit you harder than I thought," Kurt chuckled. I didn't even hear him come downstairs.
"Yeah," I agreed, just because it was a way to play off what I'd said.
"Here's a sandwich, made your favorite way," He handed it to me. "Bacon, ham, turkey, two slices of American cheese, mayo on both slices of bread and one dill pickle on the side."
"Wow, Kurt, thanks," I said and dug in. It tasted just like mom's.
"Are you feeling a bit better?" He asked when I finished eating.
I nodded.
"Well, I'll let you get some rest. If you need anything just let me know." He got up, but before he could get too far, I touched his arm, urging him to look at me.
"Thank you Kurt, really. You're a great brother."
He gave me what seemed to be a fake smile. I could tell because the corners of his eyes didn't crinkle and his baby blues didn't light up. "Right," he sighed and walked up the stairs. "Brother," he whispered, but I could still hear him.
"Kurt, Kurt, I'm sorry. You have to believe me."
"You cheated on me, Finn. You cheated on me," He cried and floated away.
I felt someone wipe my own tears and saw Quinn in front of me. "It'll be okay, Finn. You'll always have me."
"And me," Rachel appeared.
"But I want Kurt!" I yelled and found myself in the hallway at school. In a rush Kurt walked past me.
"Hey Kurt! Kurt! Wait up!" I started running, but I just couldn't catch him. "Kurt, I love you!"
I awoke with a start, the dream flashing before my eyes again. 'Kurt, I love you…' the words echoed in my head. Whoa. I'd heard something about dreams reflecting your subconscious. Did I love Kurt? As a brother, of course; I mean, noticing how hot he looked today was just an observation. Nothing more.
I rolled out of bed and made my way to the bathroom. My eye was dark blue and purple, with an ugly green/yellow color surrounding the outside. I touched it and winced. Stupid Karofsky.
I went upstairs to talk to Kurt, but he was asleep on the couch. I sat next to him contemplating if I should wake him. After my dream it felt kind of weird to look at him, but he was still the same old Kurt. His chest moved up and down slightly with every breath. Flawless pale skin from the open part of his shirt caught my eye and I slowly brought my hand to it. His skin was softer than Quinn's or Rachel's. I unconsciously bent over him, feeling tempted to place my lips on his. I was two inches from his lips when I realized what I was doing. I jumped off him and rushed into the kitchen, gripping the counter.
What the hell was wrong with me?
Author's note: Thanks for reading chapter one! Let me know if you want more chapters to be posted by reviewing and/or favoriting and/or following. :)
