Politics and sexuality are inherently similar. That is to say, politics is a spectrum in which you just have to kind of say fuck it and toss yourself in with one of the most visible orientations or risk being relegated to eternal obscurity. If you' don't, and you somehow manage to get noticed, you'll spend the rest of your service being told to pick a side already, or that you're just greedy and want the best of both worlds.
Sometimes you end up in bed with someone screaming what the fuck at the top of your lungs even though you don't really want to stop, or maybe it's too late to get off the train and you spend the rest of your life feeling violated. Sometimes you spend years trying to get someone into bed and then find out they're a terrible fuck.
You should know everything immediately. To say the right words, and present yourself the right way. To be all knowing without being given any direction or being taught anything other than this thing goes here, and always protect yourself. You silently scream for someone to show you the subtleties, but don't want to admit you have no idea what the hell you're doing - or even if you really want to be doing it at all.
One second you're happily sipping away at the bar on your first wine, eyeing up the reasonably attractive man two stools down, and the next you're standing in the middle of a dungeon on your hands and knees, shackled and conflicted about how right it all feels.
One second you're Nicola Murray. The next, you're Nicola Fucking Murray.
Until one day you're neither. You're nobody. You're out on the street in a broken pair of heels and mascara streaming down your cheeks wondering how to become someone again.
