I wrote this quite a while ago. And I wanted to put it up. I hope it's not too horrible. ;___;
"Honey, I-its going to be all right." She fought against the emotion she was really feeling. Panic.
"No! No its not!" I sobbed into my hands.
I knew there had been something wrong all along. I was just in denial. I didn't want to come to the conclusion that something was seriously wrong, and I needed help. I was too focused on being independent.
I wanted this all to be a dream, just an over played nightmare of someone's worst fear come true. But the sharp pain in my stomach made me realize this was reality, as cruel as it may be.
My eyes fluttered open, fighting desperately to close against the bright sunlight that protruded from between my curtains. It was one of those rare sunny days. The kind you only saw once or twice a year in this town. The quaint town of Forks.
Unlike the rest of my family, I loved living here. My skin was always sensitive to the sunlight, so being in a town where it rained more that ¾'s of the year was an ease on my skin. Plus, I absolutely loved the fact my home town was named after an eating utensil. Seriously, who wouldn't love to live in a town called FORKS?
Swinging my legs over the side of my bed, I dragged myself downstairs. I was too tired to eat anything, so I simply plopped myself down at the table, across from my older brother. I stared at him, tilting my head slightly to the side. Dylan had always been the absolute opposite of me. Tall, tan and blonde. Like those beach boys you see in the Coppertone commercials. He was like the popular, football stud. The guy every girl wants as arm candy. It was kind of funny, really. He was absolutely gorgeous- or, should I say, as good looking as a guy could get- and I was always described as plain, homely. Someone you could picture becoming a housewife.
"Morning." I said, trying to sound polite despite my grogginess.
He looked up from his bowl of Capt' Crunch and gave me a small smile. He wasn't one for chatting up his younger sister, but I could understand. I wasn't the best person to converse with. It was easier talking to a pair of shoes. Speaking of shoes…
"Oh shi-" I muttered, quickly darting from the chair at the table to back upstairs.
If I didn't get dressed now, I was going to be late for school. I quickly pulled on a pair of grey jeans, a black t-shirt and my favorite sweatshirt. I already had rainbow socks on, since my feet were freezing last night, so I simply pulled on my converse and grabbed my messenger bag. Into the bathroom I went, brushing my teeth and pulling a brush through my hair quickly. I didn't look any better, giant black and purple bags hung under my eyes, but there was really nothing I could do about that. They always seemed to be there.
Downstairs I went, and took a quick glance out the window. Discouraged, I dragged myself back to the table. I had been up all for 10 minutes, and already the clouds had rolled in. I was actually looking forward to seeing the sun today. Maybe if I saw the sun, I could be in a better mood than my usual mopey attitude.
Every morning I forced Dylan to drive me to school. Usually he objected, saying that I should get a job and, if I was going to mooch rides off him, pay at least half the gas he uses. But this morning he was quiet, simply nodding when I told him it was time to go. He was silent the whole ride to school, which was quite unusual for him. Usually he was blabbing away about some football game coming up, or talking about his girlfriend. Dylan wasn't shallow, he was just very proud of himself. It made sense, too. He had good grades, he was awesome at athletics, and never cheated on the ones he went out with. He was a great guy, and, despite him always nagging at me, I was proud to call him my brother.
The first half of school was uneventful. The only thing I did was stare at the boy I had been in love with since he moved here; Edward Cullen. But, wasn't every girl? Well, I also doodled, but the only thing that I was able to produce from my mind was a bunch of scribbles
I was excited when I finally got into Biology. This was the one class I could actually sit next to him. Every day I looked forward to it, mainly because I could observe him, watch the way he moves and the way he speaks. I could count up all the things that make him special, and all the reasons I like him… Whoa. I sound like a total chick. Or a stalker.
He was already in his seat by the time I arrived. I could tell he didn't like me much. Hell, he really didn't like anyone much.
"Good afternoon." I mumbled, trying to be polite.
He simply nodded, and I took my seat. Finally I had worked up the courage to say something to him, and all he does is nod. I guess I don't have a chance with him. But then again, I bet no one has a chance with him. I hate to admit it, but he seemed kind of struck up; too high class for us commoners.
The teacher began talking about a worksheet we were supposed to be doing today. We could work in pairs, he said, if we were quiet. After he passed out the sheets, I began mine silently. It wasn't until half way down that I hit a question I didn't know. It was something we had gone over one of the days I was absent due to what my mom called "period cramps". I really didn't believe her, seeing how it didn't feel like a cramp. It was more like something gnawing at my insides until it reached my back, but I never told her that.
I chewed on my bottom lip, wracking my brain to see if I could remember anything from the days before or after wards, but unfortunately, nothing came to mind. I had no one to help me, no one to talk to. I didn't know anyone well enough in this class to actually ask them for assistance.
"Need some help?"
I glanced up, not sure if I was hallucinating or otherwise. Was he really talking to me?
"Uh… Y-Yeah, kinda…" I stuttered, trying to find the correct words.
I quickly glanced to his paper; of course he had all of it done. He was always done by the time everyone else had just gotten the paper.
Before I could even so much as collect my thoughts, he went on explaining some of the answer. The way he explained it made me remember back to that lesson, and soon I caught on and was able to figure out most of the answer myself. It was crazy; he was better at explaining these things than the teacher. He made it so much clearer, so much more in depth.
"Thanks." I said, smiling. At least I didn't stutter this time. My voice still shook, though. Darn.
He smiled back that corked smile of his, almost making my heart stop in the process. But the tingly feeling didn't last too long. A sharp pain erupted through my stomach. It wasn't the worst pain I'd felt, but it was definitely up there. I clamped my lips together, and gripped the edge of the table, causing the person I was sharing the table with to look at me strange. I did this occasionally in school, when that pain came along and reared it's ugly head. I just have to let it pass, though. There was nothing else I could do. But, no matter how much I wanted Edward to ignore me, for ONCE in my high school career, he actually paid attention to me.
He asked a quick, "Are you all right?"
All I could do was nod. "Just… cramps." I said through my teeth.
Luckily the pain subsided after a few minutes, and I was able to relax. Edward didn't talk to me for the rest of the class, but I was too preoccupied thinking. Was it time to actually tell mom about the pain? Or should I just keep it to myself? Yeah, the seemed to be best. I couldn't bother mom now. She was too preoccupied with work, and having to deal with the stress of her oldest daughter coming home from college in a few days. Plus the fact her and dad just split up, and she's still a wreck from that. Telling her about the mysterious pain would just add more to the load. As much as it hurt me, I had to keep it to myself. I could keep it in; I already had been doing that for quite a while. I didn't want her to hurt anymore than she already was. She was already fragile enough.
As soon as class let out, I went to Dylan's car. I was simply going to wait in there until school let out. I really didn't care about skipping last period. I had done it before, and this probably wasn't going to be my last time doing it.
The sound of the rain hitting the roof was oddly peaceful. Before long I had drifted off to sleep, but the sound of the car door slamming jolted me awake.
"And just what are you doing in here?" Dylan demanded, eyeing me suspiciously.
"Sleeping, obviously. I had cramps and-"
He cut me off. "Okay. I get it."
Before I could say anything, and before most of the kids were even in their cars, we were driving away. It only took a few minutes to get home, and I was thankful for that. If it was any longer, I would have fallen asleep again.
Once I was inside, I dumped my bag onto the floor and collapsed onto my bed. Within the matter of five minutes, I had fallen asleep again.
I had only slept for about an hour when I forced myself awake to answer my phone. It was my friend Kimmy, calling to see if I wanted to hang out today. I agreed, and decided to walk to her house since it would only take about ten minutes.
I left a note for my mother before departing. It wasn't raining as much as it was when I came home from school, but it was enough to get you wet if you stayed out in it for too long.
By the time I arrived at Kimmy's house, I was almost drenched, since the rain picked up half way through my walk, and I was too stubborn to make a mad dash for her house. As soon as she saw me, she giggled, and dragged me upstairs to give me a set of clothes so I wouldn't catch a cold. She gave me a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, and threw my wet clothes in the drier so I could wear them on the walk home. But there wasn't really any use, they were probably going to get wet again anyway. This is perfect cold-causing weather.
We really didn't do much. But we talked. We talked ENDLESSLY about boys, and who she thought was cute. When I told her about talking to Edward Cullen, she begged for every detail. Every word, his tone of voice, even his facial expressions. I left out the part about my pain, though. She really didn't need to know about that, either. Sure, she was probably going to be mad at me when it all became exposed, but, for now, I was going to keep it to myself.
When it finally got dark outside, I bid her farewell, and off I went. It wasn't really raining, but as soon as I left my mother texted me asking me to pick up her prescription. I groaned to myself, and turned around, heading off in the opposite direction.
The rain started to pick up again, and, once again, I groaned. Today just didn't seem to be my day. I mean, sure I talked to the only boy who's ever been able to make my heart flutter, but other than that it didn't seem to be a good day. But what did I know about good days? Today could be an awesome day, and I just wouldn't know it.
After about twenty minutes, I arrived at the pharmacy. I picked up her pills, and headed back out into the rain, finally deciding to pull my hood up. Not that it mattered anyway, my hair was already soaked.
Suddenly, that familiar feeling coursed through my body. That sudden pain, the one that felt like a monster eating its was through my stomach, towards my spine. I gripped my stomach in pain, and leaned up against a light post to keep myself from collapsing onto the ground. Before I knew what was going on, the light above my head started to disappear. Everything soon went black, and I felt my body smack against the cold ground.
"Emiliea?" A voice said. It sounded so close… yet so far away… "Emiliea? Are you all right?"
I opened my eyes, trying to blink past the black dots that speckled my vision. Was I still on the ground?
"Emiliea?"
I looked around for the source of the voice, expecting to see Dylan. But, instead, my eyes focused on someone else.
"Ed…ward?" I mumbled, trying to push myself upwards. Unfortunately, that action only seemed to cause a headache. "What…"
"I was on my way home and I found you passed out on the ground."
"Shit!" I yelled, pushing myself upwards, ignoring the pulsing sensation in my head. "What time is it? I need to get home!" I said, panicked. My voice was shaky.
Surely, if I wasn't home by ten my mother would flip a gasket, and send Dylan out to look for me. And who knows what kind of trouble I would get in!
Edward just stared at me. After a second he laughed and shook his head. "Sure, you're not concerned you passed out on a sidewalk. You're only concerned about the time."
"Well, yeah. Naturally. I don't want my mom to be worried about me…" I mumbled, looking off to the side. I was actually having a conversation with him!
"C'mon, I'll drive you home." He offered.
"I'm soaking wet, if you haven't noticed. Courtesy of this lovely weather." I said, with a hint of sarcasm in my voice.
"That's more of a reason to get you home; we wouldn't want you to catch a cold, now would we?" He said, smiling that crooked smile of his.
I felt my face heat up, and nodded. It was no use arguing, I knew he would win. So, I slowly dragged myself up, and got into his car.
Neither of us said anything on the ride home, seeing how the atmosphere was quite awkward. Well, to me it was. I never imaged something like this would happen. I was grateful, though. Little things like this made me happy.
"Why were you on the ground anyway?" Edward finally said, breaking the silence.
"Uhm, I'm not quite sure…" I mumbled, fiddling with my thumbs. "All I remember is a pain in my stomach, and then next thing I knew you were saying my name."
He didn't say anything after that, and he seemed to be as long in thought as I was embarrassed.
"Uh, its that house." I said, pointing to the dark blue house.
He nodded, and pulled into the driveway. I glanced over at him, and smiled a bit.
"Thank you, by the way."
As soon as I opened the door, he spoke. "Be careful."
My face flustered as I nodded, and slipped out of the car. Before I was at the door, he had already driven away. Luckily, it was still a few minutes before ten, though I did get hell from my mother. I kept saying sorry, and that I lost track of time. I told her how I was walking slowly, so it took me longer to get to the pharmacy. Finally, she sighed, and said, "Do you have my pills?" I nodded, and tossed her the bottle that was still safely concealed in my pocket.
My body had already begun shivering, and I headed up to my room to put on some warm clothes so I wouldn't catch a cold. Unfortunately, as if on cue, I sneezed. I mumbled some obscenities to my self as I tossed my clothes into the drier.
I laid down in my bed, curling up in my blankets, trying to contain the shivers that passed through my body. I knew I was going to get sick, it always seemed to work that way. So, hoping I would feel better in the morning, I drifted off to sleep.
Groaning, I pushed myself up. I had barely gotten any sleep last night, due to my constant coughing. Even though I felt horrible, I was going to school anyway. Mom never really let us stay home unless we were seriously ill, or couldn't move.
I got ready in a fog, pulling on whatever I saw in my closet. Some baggy, dark blue jeans and a shirt. I slipped on some socks, a sweatshirt, and headed into the bathroom. After finishing my morning routine, I grabbed a bottle of Ibuprofen and put it in my bag. Sure, we weren't allowed to have any in school by law, but I was more than sure I was going to be needing it at some point today. I always needed it.
Glancing at myself in the mirror, I sighed. It looked like I had smudged eye liner underneath my eyes. But, ignoring that, I turned away and headed downstairs. As every morning, Dylan was eating cereal.
"Well, you look….." He paused for a second. "Healthy."
I grimaced, and said, "Thank you for your sarcasm."
He flashed a smile at me, before he continued eating his cereal. Well, it looked like he was back to his normal self.
We headed off to school, same as everyday. Though I had a feeling today wasn't going to be a typical day. Oh I HATED those feelings.
The first half of the day was the same as any other day, though there was that excitement in the air that typically came with every Friday. By the time lunch came around I was feeling worse than I had this morning. I had planned to sleep through it, but Kimmy decided to whisper in my ear, "Edward Cullen wants you."
My head sprung up, and I looked in the direction she was pointing to. Sure enough, there was Edward, sitting away from his family. When I looked over, he motioned for me to come over and sit with him.
"I'll go see what he wants…" I mumbled. Sure, any other day and I would be ecstatic, but I felt like I was dead today. A walking zombie. Maybe I would start eating brains. Aha, that would be awesome.
When I arrived at where he was sitting, he motioned for me to join him.
"You look…." Edward paused. "Sick."
I put my fingers in my mouth and the corner, and pulled my cheeks up, like I was trying to make myself smile. It was a goofy, stupid thing to do, but I couldn't help but try to be myself. "I don't know what you're talking about." I said, Only it sounded like, "I doh know wha you're tahwkin 'bout."
He seemed to get a kick out of that since he grinned at me, and chuckled a bit. I felt my heart race a bit, and I pulled my fingers out of my mouth.
"So… what did you want…?" I tried to make it sound like I wasn't anxious, or mad that he had beckoned me over.
"Just to see if you were all right." He said, but his tone was hard.
"Oh, well, yeah. Besides catching a cold, I don't think anything's wrong…"
"Did you tell your mom…?" He seemed to drift off, but I knew what he meant.
I shook my head. "She has too much to worry about, and if I would have told her she would make me go to the hospital, and then I would go through all these useless tests just to find out it was period cramps or something…"
"But what if it was something more? I mean, you can't have cramps all the time."
I bit my lip. I hadn't thought about that. I shook my head. "No… no, there's nothing wrong with me. I'm sure."
He cocked an eyebrow at me. His glance said, "you can never be to sure" but he shrugged, and rose up from his seat. "We're going to be late."
I looked around. Late? What was he talking about? More than half the people were still here! But, not wanting to argue, I got up, and, before I could take a step, my vision blurred for a second. I worked to keep my balance as the pulsing in my head began.
"Aww…" I mumbled, causing Edward to look back at me. I smiled an apologetic smile, and did my best not to fall over. My balance was terrible when I had a pulsing headache like this. But it only lasts a few minutes.
He cocked an eyebrow at me, his eyes filled with curiosity.
"Just a migraine…" I said, keeping a smile on my face.
When we got outside, he stopped, and turned around to me. Right as I was questioning him why he had stopped, he pushed away the hair that was dangling in my face, and put his lips to my forehead. My heart race picked up, as would any girls.
"W-What are you…" I stuttered, but he cut me off.
"You do realize you have a fever, right?"
I opened my mouth, but just ended up closing it. I didn't feel like I had a fever.
"C'mon, you're going home."
Before I could protest, he grabbed my hand and started to pull me towards the attendance office to get excused from my last two classes.
I paid no attention to what Edward was saying, but before I knew it he had grabbed my hand again and was pulling me across the parking lot to his car. Just then, a thought occurred in my mind. Why, all of a sudden, was Edward caring so much about me? I mean, sure, if it was Kimmy or Dylan, I would understand, but before two days ago he had never spoken to me before!
As if on instinct I climbed in the passenger side, letting a shiver run through my body. My eyes instinctively looked over at him, and before I knew what I was doing, words started to come out of my mouth.
"Why are you being nice to me all of a sudden? I don't mean to sound rude or anything, it just strikes me as peculiar…" My voice trailed off at the end of the sentence.
He seemed reluctant to answer, but after a minute or two, did anyway. "Because, unlike the rest of the girls in school, you're not trying to ask me out, or impress me, despite the fact you like me." At that comment I felt my cheeks heat up. Obviously, somehow, he had caught on to that fact. "You're different from them."
When I pulled my eyes away from his face, I saw that we had arrived at my house. I really didn't want to leave, but I knew it was for the best, I didn't want to get him sick as well.
"Thank you for driving me home." The reluctance was clear in my voice. But as I was reaching for the handle, he locked the doors. "What-"
"Are you doing anything tomorrow?"
I shook my head, trying to figure out what he was getting at.
"Would you like to spend the day with me?" There was a small smile on his face, one that was pleading, almost longing.
"I.. Uhm… But you… We…" Not being able to find the correct words, I simply nodded.
I heard the doors unlock, and right before I got out, he grabbed my hand, and kissed it, saying, "Then, until tomorrow, I bid you adieu."
I felt the heat rise to my face, but I couldn't help but smile. I quickly rushed out of the car, and fumbled with my keys, trying to unlock the door. Once I finally got the right key, I pushed the door open, and stumbled inside, almost in a daze. What the hell just happened? Edward Cullen had just asked me out? And then kissed my hand? Was the word coming to an end?! What's next, mutant fetuses crawling around the streets, biting people and ripping the flesh off unsuspecting bystanders? Okay, that may be a stretch, but with the way things are going lately, I wouldn't be surprised if that happened.
Before I did anything else, I texted Dylan that I was already home, hitching a ride from a friend because I had a major migraine. I popped two ibuprofen out of the bottle, and quickly swallowed them, hoping they would get rid of the pulsing. I also took a bit of Nyquil. Maybe I would be able to sleep off the cold. Or at least feel better for tomorrow.
I didn't fall asleep until a few minutes after Dylan got home. Maybe, if Dylan decided not to snitch on me, it would look like I had just fallen asleep when I got home from school, instead of skipping the last two classes, like I did. Or, rather, like I was forced to.
I slept well through the night, not even waking up to eat dinner. I bet mom was pissed about that, but either way when I woke up in the morning, I felt much better. The first thing I did was go to the bathroom, take a shower, brush my hair and teeth, and then get dressed in a simple blue long sleeves shirt with a short sleeved black shirt over top, a blue scarf, and black jeans. Not too colorful, but I really didn't feel like wearing a rainbow today. Plus, I had begun feeling better. I needed to keep myself warm so I wouldn't catch a cold again.
I wasn't sure when Edward and I were going to spend the day together, but when I looked over to the clock, I saw it was 11:47am. I went downstairs, but didn't see my mother or Dylan. I found a note though, and quickly read it over.
Emiliea,
I took Ainne out for shopping. She came home last night while you were sleeping, and she was complaining how all she had were sweatpants, and maybe a few pairs of jeans. So, I told her we would go shopping for new clothes today. I wont be home until later tonight. Oh, by the way, Dylan told me that you came home yesterday because of a migraine. I hope you feel better.
Love, mom.
I wasn't in trouble for coming home…? Sweet!
A knock on the door startled me, and I was expecting to see Kimmy at the door, gushing about me sitting with Edward yesterday. But, it was Edward. I have to admit, I actually forgot about today for a few minutes.
"Hey there," He said smiling.
I couldn't help but smile back., and invite him in. I still hadn't had anything to eat, and I was hungry from missing dinner last night. I poured myself a bowl of Capt'n Crunch and sat at the table. He sat across from me, seeing to watch me as I ate. I didn't rush myself, so I wouldn't get a stomach ache. I felt self-conscious, though, having someone watch me eat.
"Are you feeling any better?" Edward's voice broke my self induced trance.
I nodded, "Much. Thank you again for driving me home."
He smiled, and motioned for me to keep eating. Once I was done, I put my bowl in the sink and turned back to Edward. "Anything in particular you had in mind for today?" I questioned.
He nodded, but refused to tell me, no matter how much I begged and pleaded. He simply made me get in the car, and kept me busy by talking to him the whole time. I won't specify what the conversation was about, because half the time I didn't pay attention. I was focused on where we were going.
After a few more minutes he stopped, got out and opened my door before I could even process what was going on. I smiled at him as I got out, and looked at the woods in front of us. "Oh, no no no no." I said, waving my hands in front of my face.
He looked over at me, questioning me with his eyes.
"Woods equal bugs, and bugs equal terrified Emiliea, and terrified Emiliea equals me running away screaming!" I explained.
He laughed, and then walked closer to me, patting my head. "Don't worry, I'll protect you from the big, bad bugs."
I couldn't tell whether he was mocking me, or was serious. But, I smiled at him, feeling like a little kid.
We started to walk, and I have to admit, it wasn't as challenging as it appeared to be. There were a few big things that I needed help getting over, but other than that there was really nothing. I couldn't tell when we were close to where he wanted us to arrive at, but when we came to a clearing, I couldn't help but gasp. It was simply beautiful, even in the clouded light that came through the clouds.
"This is it," Edward said as I stood there mesmerized.
"Holy crap!" I said, turning around to him. "Its beautiful! I never knew there was a place like this here!"
By this time Edward was in the middle of the clearing, beckoning for me to come over to him. I did, of course, and we sat on the lush grass.
We talked casually for about an hour, before Edward's face suddenly went serious. I had to admit, he looked kind of scary like that.
"Emiliea, before you say anything, will you listen to what I have to say?" His tone was like we were discussing my death.
I nodded.
"Would you please get that mysterious pain checked out?"
I shook my head, opening my mouth to speak. But before I could say anything, he cut me off.
"What if there's something wrong?"
"But there isn't. I'm sure of it!" I said.
"But what if."
I shook my head again.
"Please. For my own reassurance." He pleaded, causing my face to heat up.
He was actually worried. About me!
"Fine," I muttered, looking down to the ground.
Edward smiled, and put one finger under my chin, tilting it upwards. "Thank you." I felt his lips touch my forehead, heating up my face again.
The rest of the day was quite the same, Edward made me feel embarrassed, over and over again. He even called me "adorable" at how easily I got embarrassed. Eventually, we went back to my house. My mother still wasn't home yet, which was a good thing. I wasn't sure if it was a good thing that she would know I had spent the whole day with a boy, especially since I had gotten heartbroken the last time I liked somebody. Even though that was many, many years ago. Or, it felt like many, many years ago. Right now I felt like everything was so much farther away, everything was in a completely different world, and it was just us.
Whether I liked it or not, my mother walked in before Edward could leave. She gave me that sort of look that said, 'well now, who is this?', but smiled and walked out of the room. Ainne didn't pay any attention to Edward, only yanked me up from my seat and engulfed me in a hug. The sweet smell of her perfume wafted into my nose.
"Emi!" She squealed, squeezing me tighter. "You've grown up so much!"
In truth, it's only been a year or two since I last saw Ainne. Surely I hadn't grown up that much.
"It's great to see you too," I said, struggling to get free so I could breath properly.
Sensing my distress, she released her death grip on me and peeked over my shoulder to where Edward was sitting.
"Hello, who is this?" Her voice had a weird undertone to it. I couldn't tell if it was surprise, or interest.
"Uhm, Ainne, this is my friend Edward. Edward, this is my sister Ainne." I did a quick introduction.
"It's a pleasure to meet you," Ainne said, grinning.
"Likewise."
I excused myself from the room, walking down the hallway to go and see my mom, but as I entered the hallway, something went wrong. I hadn't felt it all day, I was sure it wasn't going to rear its ugly head today. But that gnawing started, only it was worse than any other time I had felt it. I gripped my stomach, and did my best to made it down the hallway, but had only taken three or four steps. I tried to call out, to call someone to come help me, but instead I collapsed, and everything around me turned black.
As my eyes fluttered open, they started to focus on someone next to me. Where was I…?
Suddenly it hit me.
I had collapsed in the hallway, and surely, someone had found my laying there. I was in a hospital room. I recognized the scent. The walls. Everything. My mother was asleep in the chair, Ainne was sitting next to me.
"You're awake!" Ainne said, sighing in relief. What, did she think I had gone into a coma or something?
"What…" I didn't even finish. The voice coming out of my throat sounded too weak to be mine.
"You fainted, mom got worried and called an ambulance." She looked at the door. "I'm going to go tell a nurse you're awake."
Before I could say anything, she was out of the room, walking down to the nurse's station. I looked around the room. It was small, and white. The air reeked of plastic gloves, and lemon cleaner. I glanced over to mom; she was still asleep. The clock in the room read 12:47am. That means I must have been asleep for over five hours.
Ainne came back with a woman dressed, obviously, in a nurses outfit. She had straight brown hair, and appeared to be in her mid twenties. She took my pulse, my temperature, all my vital signs and recorded them on a clipboard. Before she left, she muttered a quiet, "The doctor will be right with you."
It didn't take long for the doctor to come. I had met him once before, Carlisle was his name. The first thing he asked was what had happened before I fainted.
"Well, I got this horrible pain in my stomach…"
"And what did it feel like?" He questioned.
"Almost like something was gnawing towards my spine."
He wrote something on his clipboard, and then proceeded with another question. "How long has this been going on?"
I paused. "Uhm, quite a while. I don't even remember when it started. Maybe a few months ago?"
He continued to write on his clipboard. "We're going to run some tests to see what's wrong. I don't mean to sound rude, but you really should have told someone about this sooner." With those final words, he excused himself from the room.
The next few hours after that I went under a battery of different tests. I didn't know what any of them were for, since I had never really had an accident that required machinery like this. After a few hours we were all waiting in my room; my mother, Ainne, even Dylan, and I. It was nerve-wracking, waiting for the results. I honestly didn't know what it could be.
I was hoping nothing was wrong, that it was just… just an ulcer or something. But that look on Carlisle's face when he walked in, it shattered my heart.
"I have some bad news," Carlisle said. The atmosphere in the room grew tense. "I'm sorry but… Emiliea, you have cancer." The worst part was, he didn't try to soften the blow. He didn't try to sweeten it. He said it as it was. And what it was was way worse than anything I could have ever imagined.
The words echoed around my head. Cancer? Cancer. Was this just a joke? No, it couldn't be. They wouldn't joke like that.
I was too shocked to say anything. But my mother, on the other hand… "What!? My daughter, how could she…" She took a shallow, shaky breath, trying to get herself under control. "What… what type?"
"Pancreatic. Its pretty advanced. I'm… not sure how long she has left to live. It could be weeks, it could be months." His voice was solemn.
As soon as he left the room, I broke down into tears. That was the only thing I knew how to do, the only reaction my body could come up with. Like any parent, my mother tried to comfort me.
"Honey, I-its going to be all right." She fought against the emotion she was really feeling. Panic.
"No! No its not!" I sobbed into my hands.
I knew there had been something wrong all along. I was just in denial. I didn't want to come to the conclusion that something was seriously wrong, and I needed help. I was too focused on being independent.
I wanted this all to be a dream, just an over played nightmare of someone's worst fear come true. But the sharp pain in my stomach made me realize this was reality, as cruel as it may be.
The truth of it was that I was dying.
I was dying and there was nothing I could do about it.
"--Hello?" The voice on the other line said.
"Uhm, Edward?" My voice sounded shaky. I felt shaky.
"Yes?"
"It's Emiliea. I've got some… bad news…" I was trying my hardest not to cry. Unfortunately I still felt the hot tears stream down my cheeks.
"What is it?" His tone sounded like 'surely it cant be that bad'.
"I'm… I'm dying." It felt as if there was a lump in my throat, preventing me from getting the words out.
There was silence on the other line.
"Edward?" Did he hang up?
"Hm…?"
"Carlisle said it was some kind of cancer. They… don't know how long I have left…"
"Are you home right now?"
"Uhm, yes. Why?"
He didn't answer me. The phone only went dead in my hands.
He was the first person I had told about the news. I didn't know if I could, or if I would, break it to Kimmy. She would either say it was a good joke, or be completely horrified. I didn't want to take the chance of either. But.. What if I suddenly died? What would be my explanation then? "Oh, I'm sorry. Emiliea had cancer. She died." "Why of course she didn't tell you. She was convinced you were going to take it as a joke!" I could almost hear the agony, the anger Kimmy would feel. I had to tell her, but I had to find the right time to do it.
They had sent me home not too long after giving me the diagnosis. I suppose they had to let me soak it up, and the address what my mental state was before sending me home. Surely, any teenager would go mental if they found out they only had, at most, a few months to live. It had already been a day when I told Edward. I deliberated when, and where, I should tell Kimmy. Multiple times she called, and left perky voice mails saying the same thing, "Hey! Call me back! We need to hang! Ciao~!"
Finally, working up the courage, I hit the call back button, hoping, praying, she didn't answer so I could just leave a voicemail, something that wouldn't put too much pressure on me.
To my discontent, she answered.
"Hey there Emi-pie!" Her voice was both soothing, and a loud wake up call. I had to do this now. I had to…
"Hey Kimmy. Listen, there's something I need to…"
"Oooh, is it about you and Cullen? I know how you two spent Saturday together." If this was a text I could see the little heart she would put at the end. "By the way, why weren't you in school today?"
"No, listen, that's part of it. I…" But I was cut off.
"Ooh, Sorry Emi-pie, I gotta run. Call me in a little while! Love you!"
For the second time today, the line went dead in my hand.
Maybe, just maybe, she knew, and she was avoiding having the conversation. She had been my best friend since kindergarten, surely she would tell when something was wrong. Yes, that had to be it. She never answers just to hang up a few moments later. Had my mom told her mom, and her mom told her? Was I over thinking things? I had to be!
"Emiliea!" It was my mom's voice. She was calling me downstairs. I dragged myself up- I had to admit, it was difficult- and made my way to the door. There stood Edward, his head slightly down.
"It's okay, you can come inside." My voice.. My god, why did it sound so raspy? Honestly, I couldn't be going downhill THAT fast. Or… or was I just THAT nervous?
He stepped inside, and my mother left, sensing the seriousness that had engulfed the three- err, two of us. He mumbled something, something I really couldn't hear. I have to admit, I was terrified to ask him to repeat himself. I didn't need to, though. He said it again, only louder.
"Why didn't you get it checked out earlier…"
It really wasn't formed in a question, more like mindless rambling that wasn't meant to be heard, nor answered.
"You knew, didn't you. You knew something was wrong. But why didn't you…"
He raised his head, and I swear to god, the look on his face hurt me more than anything before. More than the pains, more than knowing I had cancer, and I was dying. I felt like my heart was caught in a hydraulic press. I can't even describe it. I really, really can't.
"I'm… sorry.." I could barely speak, and yet I managed to force those two words through my lips.
I had only spoke to him for a week or two, at the most, and yet, I felt so damn close to him. I felt like he completed me (as cliché as that sounds). It broke my heart to tell him. It really did.
Before I had a chance to say anything else, he turned, and walked out. I felt like he was walking out on me. Like there was nothing left, just because I was too afraid of hurting anyone. My eyes teared, and I wanted, so bad, to go after him, but I couldn't move. I couldn't call after him. Nothing.
She knew. Oh she knew just when to call, because at that precise moment, she decided to call back.
"Hello..?" I hope it wasn't too obvious I was crying.
"Emi..? What's wrong? I'm sorry I hung up before. Please talk to me." What had hit her that made her realize..
"Kimmy… I.. I'm dying…"
There was silence on the other line. I didn't speak, neither did she. It was best that it soaked in, I suppose.
"What.. How.. " She couldn't form words. And worst of all, I heard the tears, I heard the sobs she was trying to keep inside. This is what I feared would happen. Oh, god. Why?
"I… I have cancer.. And I don't have too long left.." My voice was shaking so bad I could barely understand what I was saying. "Oh Kimmy I'm so sorry.." That was it. I broke down. "I didn't… I didn't know… and… and now…"
"Shh.. Shh, love.. It… it's fine…" She didn't mean it. I know she didn't. But I was going to have to accept it. There was nothing else I could really do.
Things started to really go downhill after a few months. Sure, I had lasted longer than they thought I would, but it still stunk to be stuck in a hospital bed while I was dying and couldn't go anywhere because I was too weak to move. People visited once in a while, mostly Kimmy and Edward though. I don't think he had forgiven me, but he acted like he did. We had gotten closer, and it seemed so natural to talk to him. Kimmy… she just looked heart broken. I couldn't blame her. I was her best friend, and she had to come, every day, and see me lying in a bed, with wires attacked to me, checking my vital signs, dying. Gosh, I felt so horrible everyday, watching them come in and out, with those sad, pained look in their eyes, but that happy façade on their face. Even my mom and Dylan had that look. She was so hurt. He looked like he would cry every time he looked at me. I always kept my tears in until they left, as they did. It hurt. It really did.
Then, today, Edward came, and locked the door behind him. That wasn't allowed. The door had to remain open at all times, because I may need assistance with going to the bathroom, or whatever else I do. Which is really nothing.
"Emiliea, I need to talk to you about something."
I drug my eyes up from the blanket. That's all I had the energy to do anymore, just stare at my blanket. "What is it?" My voice isn't there. It never is.
"What would you say if I told you I could make you get better?"
I smile. Surely he was humoring me. "I would say you must be god. But we both know that's impossible."
"No, it's not." He's so serious. So… emotional.
I look at him questioningly.
"Emiliea. I'm not even supposed to tell you this, but I don't care. Do you believe in vampires?"
I nod. I always have. Mysterious creatures like that have always interested me.
"Well… I'm…" He didn't finish, because I cut him off.
"A vampire?"
He nods. I laugh lightly, and glance down at my blanket before looking back at him. "I'm sorry. But I just can't do that. I don't want to live forever. It's my time to go and I need to honor that. I would love to spend forever with you, but it would just be too hard to explain to everyone. I have a terminal illness, I just can't get better. I can't just get up and dance."
"But-"
I put up my hand. The motion hurts, but I suffer through it. "Listen, if you care about me like you say you do, you'll honor my wishes as well. I love you, I really do, but it's possible there's someone else you'll love. Someone who'll accept your invitation into the immortal world. But that girl just isn't me. I don't have the heart to pretend to die, then go and live with you, or whatever your plan is. I wouldn't be able to bare it. I'm sorry. I can't do it." I take my hand, and gently stroke his cold cheek. It didn't bother me as much as it used it. I kiss him, gently, and smile. My eyes are growing quite.. heavy… I… can't stay away. I look at him through my droopy eyelids, and slide down in my bed. "I'm sorry, but… I need to sleep." I take one final glance at him, and let my eyes close.
"Okay. Good night, my love. I'll be here when you wake up." He gently kisses my forehead, and begins to stroke my hair.
I feel myself drift off into that world. You know the one. The one where you're happy and everything is okay. And there I go…
