Disclaimer: Nothing.
"I Love You Forevermore"
—Skeletons in the Closet—
ONE
"Okay. It's time to get started. Let's see, what do we have here?" Rachel kneeled on the floor and started to rummage through random objects in the monstrous pile occupying her guest room closet. "Papers, papers, papers. Is that the only thing I stuffed in here?!" She came across a blue folder and briefly went through the first few printed pages. "Senior English. Well, that's nothing worth keeping." Raven stuffed the blue folder in the trash can without looking at the other documents inside.
"Let's see here. . . calculus folder." Raven fished out a red folder and fingered through that one. "Junk!" She tossed that one in the trash with a flick of her wrist. Pulling out a green folder, she peered through it. "Geography. Somebody just kill me, now!" Without a second thought, she put that folder in the trash can and stomped on it especially hard. "Goodbye, Angola!"
Once again, looking through the junk for anything worth saving, Raven found a thick, leather-bound book with parchment pages. It looked so familiar. But she didn't have anything of that nature since— "Since the Titans disbanded. . ." A troubled look replaced her placid one from before. She hadn't thought of the Titans in years. She had grown up since then.
She was twenty-four and finally out of college. Her hair was long and black, now. She grew a few inches to where she was now, five foot seven. Her curves amplified, as well. And while she wasn't a Goth, she did enjoy the darker elements, but she kept balance in her life. It was when she left the Titans that she realized how unbalanced her life was. She didn't need the Titans, anymore. She had a life of her own. She was a surgical nurse at the biggest hospital in Jump. She had a decent sized apartment all to herself that needs spring cleaning. She looked down at the huge pile before her and then at the book in her hands. When did she acquire this book? She opened it.
"July 18th, 2005
Diary—
It has finally happened. He is gone! Trigon is no more. With the help of my friends, especially Robin—" A few tears fell on the diary entry, "—I am no longer plagued by that demon inside of me. I never thought there would be a day that I could say, "I feel. . ." . But there is. I have found it. Happiness, eccentricity, sadness, anger; all these emotions I can feel. And with this discovery, it seems as if the bond between Robin and I has only deepened. Maybe it was because of what we went through together, maybe not. I cannot believe someone would risk themselves as to go to the pits of Hell just to rescue someone— someone like me. That is dedication. Maybe I'll ask him why he did all that he did. Maybe even tonight. I long to be near him, I long to see him, smell him, hear him speak to me. When did I become so. . . attached? It seems like for the first time, I actually know someone. Someone who is like me, and knows me. Why do I feel this fluttering in my heart, this freeness in my soul, whenever I talk or think about him? I cannot describe the way I feel whenever I am around him. Could it be—"
Raven dropped the book to the floor. She could not read anymore, she did not want to read the foolish antics of her former self. She did not have to. It was all playing in her mind, from start to finish, everything that had happened between the two of them.
She remembered. . . remembered everything. Down to the very last drop of detail, she remembered it all. It was, indeed, that night when she went to Robin's room at midnight, knowing he was still up, and she asked him why he had done everything he had for her.
Robin had been sitting at his desk when she entered his room. She wasn't sure what to do, so she sat on his Queen bed. She was nervous. She couldn't tell why, but she was. She stared at his red comforter beneath her and waited. She felt like she wasn't just waiting for Robin to finish up so that they could talk. No, she felt like she was waiting for something amazing to happen.
She felt the bed dip beside her as she realized Robin was done with his filing and sitting next to her on the bed. She looked up at him and took a good look at him. He was wearing loose pajama pants without a shirt and she noticed just how buff he was. That costume could be deceiving. He also was beginning to develop some whiskers, how old was he again? Seventeen? No, she was seventeen, now, making him eighteen. So it was no mystery that he needed to shave.
"So you wanted to talk to me about something, Rae?" He gave her a smile, not his heart-throb smile or his famous sexy-grin, but a real, natural smile. A smile that always reassured her that she could tell him anything.
"Uh, yeah. I was actually doing a lot of thinking."
"You? Thinking? Nah." Robin teased her. It was something he did often, and also something that she loved. However, she just smiled and did not offer a come-back.
"I was reminiscing about pre-Trigon days, and how I was not able to feel. But now I am able to feel, and we have drawn closer because of it. Or at least, that's what I think." She looked away for a moment as she waited for her slight blush to pass. "Robin?" She turned towards him and looked him in the eye.
"Yeah?" He asked with a kind voice which gave her the courage to ask the question that had almost plagued her since Trigon was defeated.
"Why did you go through all that trouble just to rescue me? I mean," she looked down at her hands in her lap as she continued, "you literally went through the pits of Hell looking for me. You did not know if you would find me or if we would even get back to the real world. You went though so much difficulty just to—" Raven stopped talking because of a certain Boy Wonder's finger on her lips. Robin gently placed his fingers underneath her chin and guided it so she could look back at him.
"It was no trouble to me." He smiled for her and brushed his fingers through her hair.
"But why?" She asked of him.
He smiled even broader. "Because I could not even imagine living without you." He leaned in and kissed her full on the lips. To say Raven was shocked would be an understatement and to say she was displeased would be a lie. They kept kissing until Raven broke away from Robin. Robin sat tensely as he waited for Raven to say what she was going to say. Would she refuse or accept him?
"Robin?" He nodded his head to encourage her to keep going. "I am not quite sure what this feeling is, but I have felt it for a long time, and, well," she paused to gather up her courage to continue, "I think I am in love with you!" She ended up blurting out the end, and thought it sounded so out of character for her, but she didn't care. She told Robin how she felt, and she hoped she knew what was coming.
"I love you, too, Raven. And I have for longer than I can remember." She closed her eyes as she leaned in for another kiss which Robin happily consented to. She traced the fingers of her left hand along his face, finally settling them in his hair as the kiss deepened. Robin encircled Raven with his two arms and pushed on her back so she would press farther onto him with his two hands.
Robin kept pressing him to her as he kissed her. She eventually broke the kiss and blushed as she led her fingers from his hair across his jawline to rock hard muscle on his chest and abs. She had never seen a guy without a shirt, before, especially one with such great physique. She traced her fingers across his muscles for a few more moments before looking back into his beautiful sapphire eyes. "So, what are we?" Raven asked him not knowing where they would go from there.
"I think," Robin said as he held her hands in his, "we are two lovebirds who will never be parted." However, he didn't know how wrong he would be.
Rachel then remembered the next day. Both Robin and herself had decided on telling the others about their relationship. They had walked out into the living room where Cyborg and Beast Boy were racing each other on the Gamestation. Starfire was sitting inbetween Beast Boy and Cyborg (obviously not able to choose one over the other), pouring a generous amount of mustard on her bowl of popcorn as she watched the wide-screen TV.
"Titans," Robin said in his most authoritative voice as the game paused and the threesome turned around and stared at the couple. Raven felt nowhere near as assured of this plan of action due to their curious and speculating gaze. She felt a dreadful premonition about the outcome of this situation, but before she could convey this to Robin he started speaking again. "Raven and I have an announcement to make."
This caught the attention of the three other Titans. Raven remembered the look of concern Beast Boy had on his face. With his parents killed at a young age, and no longer part of the Doom Patrol, he needed the Titans as his friends and family to help raise him and for support. Maybe even more than the others. Starfire just looked curious and naive, but Cyborg? He had his human eye narrowed on an analytical face. Almost as if he knew what they were going to say before they spoke one word. . . and disapproved greatly.
Raven really thought that if Starfire didn't kill 'her boy' for choosing someone else, Cyborg would. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, after all. . .
"What is it, Friend Robin?" Starfire asked him with a sweet voice that made Raven even less secure. She didn't want to ruin the world for her best friend. She grabbed Robin's hand to try to tell him something, but Robin took mistook it for a 'go ahead' gesture instead.
"Raven and I are going out." Shock immediately took over Beast Boy and Starfire, but Cyborg, on the other hand, looked like he was barely containing his rage. Almost like his worst fear was taking place before him and there was nothing he could do about it.
"Friend Robin. . .?" Starfire looked so hurt. Even Robin could barely look at her. "I'm sorry, Star." He paused before looking her straight in the eyes. "You realize I still love you, don't you?"
"If you love me, why are you doing the holding of the hand with Friend Raven and not with me? I am most confused." Starfire stood up from her sitting position on the couch and walked over to stand before 'her boy' and her best friend.
"Star. . . I do love you. I just love you more like a sister and a good friend rather than a girlfriend." Robin gave Raven's hand a small squeeze, but did not look at her and risk Star's wrath. Beast Boy looked at the couple with fear in his eyes and, to some extent, disappointment and understanding. Before Robin could say another word, Beast Boy bolted from the couch (most likely his room being the destination) from being hurt beyond comparison. He always was the one trying to get Raven to laugh, to smile, to feel good about herself. But he had failed. He had failed miserably. And he couldn't take it.
Cyborg stood up and walked over to where Robin stood with determination, where Raven was hanging her head in shame, and where Starfire had begun to cry. He folded his arms against his broad chest and stared down at Robin. While Robin wasn't as short as he was when the Titans were first formed, he still was a head shorter than Cyborg. Cyborg stood there as he searched for the right words to say. After a long pause, however, he shook his head and wrapped an arm around Star's shaking shoulders. "Go on, Star. I'll take care of this." She nodded her head and walked instead of hovered to her room; all joy gone from her.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Cyborg's voice boomed to the two of them, but directed more at Robin than Raven.
Robin stood his ground, never averting his eyes or looking at the floor. He firmly told Cyborg, "We're telling you the truth. We thought you deserved it rather than hiding behind your backs."
"Why all of a sudden? Did you just wake up this morning and think, 'let's destroy the team with this news today'? I really thought you had more tact than that, Robin. And you, too, Raven. You are an empath, for Goodness' sake! I thought you would have known this would happen. Starfire has only liked Robin since she kissed him on her first day on Earth! Beast Boy, too. Raven, he's only liked you and tried to be the one to help you with your emotions since the two of us returned from Nevermore. Terra was just a distraction from his true feelings! Why didn't you see that?!" Cyborg looked like he was going to pop a blood vessel. This scared Raven beyond anything she ever imagined, he had only been kind and polite to her. Never anything like this. Never.
"Cyborg, calm yourself! What has happened has happened. There is nothing we can do about it. We just thought the rest of you deserved the truth. I guess we were wrong." At that Robin turned around and led Raven by the hand to his room.
"What are we going to do about this, Robin? The rest of the team either hates us or wants us to separate or both!" Raven put her head in her hands as she paced the floor before Robin who was sitting at his desk.
"They'll just have to accept us, Raven. Give it time. They're just scared and a little hurt right now. They'll eventually find someone for themselves and then we'll be the ones who has to accept it." He gave a natural smile to reassure her that reminded her of the one he gave her the previous night. Why did things have to become so difficult for them when they had only begun?
Rachel skipped over the awkward silences and harsh words that followed that day in her head. She had put up with it for two months. Two whole painstaking months. And then. . . she left. She made it look like she went to Azarath and left the majority of her room in the Tower. She had sent personal notes that night to each of her teammates saying she was sorry for causing a rift in their friendship and would make sure it would never happen again. She still regretted not being able to say goodbye in person. But it was easier that way, not only for her, but it would have been too hard on them; especially Robin. She knew she hurt him. She would prefer 'going home' than staying with the man she claimed she loved. Yeah, she hurt him bad.
At first there wasn't a day she didn't think about him; had he moved on? was he with Star, now? if they ever met again, would they have a chance? And then the thoughts became less frequent, and eventually practically nonexistent. Especially after the Titans disbanded a month or two after she left.
And then she went back to the present. She didn't want to think of the past, anymore. It wasn't healthy. As she stood up with the leather bound book in hand a picture fell out. It was a picture of the two of them. Smiling sweet and undisturbed. This was before they had confessed their love, before it had gotten hard. Maybe it would have been better if they never had confessed and remained more than friends, but less than a couple. Maybe. . .
Ugh! Stop it! She mentally scolded herself as she walked over to one of the many candles in her room. She lit it and held the picture in her hand. I'm sorry, Robin. She said in her mind as the picture loomed over to the flame. But I love you nevermore. She watched as their smiling faces became distorted from the fire as it burned. The picture smoked and smelled like ashes from a grave. Maybe that's what they were, because then she stopped being Raven and fully became Rachel Roth.
—Fin—
A/N: This is a remake of my story "I Love You, Nevermore". I am creating a clean version with more plot to the story. If you've read "I Love You, Nevermore" than you probably could tell that not much of it has changed other than the lemon being taken out. But, it'll get better when I add more story to it. Thanks for reading!
Signed,
Her Sappiness
