My first Tiva piece. Hope you all like it!


Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor
Reachin for the phone cause I can't fight it anymore
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

She could hear the men who had her yelling in Arabic outside her cell. She knew it had been over two weeks since her capture by the Somali terrorist cell. The pain from her torture was nearly unbearable even for her—but she hadn't broken...yet. She knew it would happen eventually. Everyone had their breaking point when it came to torture. The pain had forced her to use a management technique that she'd only studied but never employed—meditation. She had learned that by retreating into her mind she could make the pain lessen—the only problem was that it didn't numb all the pain she was feeling. Every time she was alone in her cell she couldn't stop thinking about Tony. She knew now that she would never see him again; she would never be able to apologize to him for telling Gibbs that she didn't trust him because the truth of the matter was that she did trust him. Even when she had first joined NCIS after Kate's death he had always had her back. But Ari had betrayed her trust, and so had Michael and she couldn't afford to have him do it as well.

She knew that even if there was a chance of her surviving this she could never go back to NCIS. But she also knew that she wouldn't survive this. Eventually, she would be useless to them and they would kill her or her captors would find that she would not give them the information they wanted and kill her for that—any way she looked at the situation she ended up dead. At least she could never bother Tony again that way. He would never be haunted by memories of her as he sometimes was for Kate. But a small part of her—the part that was still a little girl in a ballerina's outfit waiting for her father to show up at a recital—hoped that he would remember her and all the good memories they had shared.

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

She had almost called him before she left for her mission. Her finger had been hovering over the send button while staring at his speed dial on her cell phone. She had turned the phone off instead. Now she wished she had called him if only to hear him yell at her for not coming back with him and Gibbs. She missed him and there was nothing for it. She would never get to see him one last time before she died so she would cling to her memories of him.

Another shot of whiskey can't stop looking at the door
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

Tony tossed another bottle of Macallan 18 into the recycling bin. He heard a noise and cocked his head thinking…hoping it was his door being knocked on. But he knew it wasn't...it never would be because Ziva wasn't coming back! He missed the days when she would knock on the door only to open it before he could get there. She had done it many times during the three years between when she started at NCIS and Jenny had died. It had started after their undercover operation and though it had paused as he got more and more serious with Jeanne but sometimes he still found her waltzing into his apartment after a case. However, upon his return from being an agent afloat it had abruptly stopped. He hadn't known why until he'd found the picture of Rivkin on her desk. He had wondered what was so special about this man as opposed to him. He was here this man wasn't…at least he hadn't been until a few weeks before when suddenly he was in DC then LA and DC again…until Tony had killed him. He was sorry it had happened but he knew that if he hadn't shot Rivkin in the heart he would not have given up. He was going to stab Tony with the glass he had taken out of his side and even if Tony had shot him in the leg or the arm or some other non-lethal spot he would not have given up until Tony were dead. Tony wondered if Ziva would have felt the same if the roles were reversed and Rivkin had killed Tony. Would she have been angry at Rivkin for killing him or would she still have been more concerned over Rivkin and his injuries? Would she still have chosen to stay in Israel or would she have come back to NCIS since Tony wasn't there.

How could she not trust him? Alright so he had killed her "boyfriend" in her apartment…doesn't mean he didn't have her back! Hell, that's exactly what it showed! He cared more about her than he did about his own career! That little stunt could have cost him everything he'd worked for the past eight years…but he'd do anything for Ziva…including torching his own career to make sure she was safe.

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

He looked at his phone…he knew he shouldn't do it but he figured why not throw caution to the wind. He dialed her number and listened as the phone rang…and rang…and rang. He couldn't help himself when her voicemail answered.

"Ziva," he slurred, "I know you don't want to hear from me. After what happened I wouldn't want to hear from me either. But I have to explain why I did it. You showed up here and changed my world in ways that I never thought possible. What happened between me and Rivkin…yeah, alright, I probably should have talked to you first, but really, would you have listened to me? You were so…infatuated with him that you weren't thinking straight…it was affecting your work and I had to do something! I could have handled it better—I could have talked to Gibbs…but I didn't want to get you into trouble. Which I did anyways. Please, please, call me back if only to tell me you never want to speak to me again."

Yes I'd rather hurt than feel nothin at all

It's a quarter after one I'm all alone

and I need you now

She was still alive after nearly two months of torture. The only way she knew that was because of the pain. They had allowed her to heal physically and still questioned her but they were becoming less frequent. She knew that they would be moving the camp soon and they wouldn't want to drag a prisoner along and that was when they would execute her. But at least for now she was still alive and able to see Tony in her mind. She missed Gibbs, McGee, Abby, Ducky, Jimmy, and even Vance a little. But missing them was nothing when compared to how much she missed Tony. As much as she was loathe to admit it to anyone…including herself…she needed him.

And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk

and I need you now

And I don't know how I can do without

He had been occupied for a while. Ziva hadn't contacted anyone and he, McGee, and Abby were all worried. He understood not calling him back. But she hadn't emailed or called Abby who she wasn't angry at and McGee hadn't heard from her either…which meant that something was wrong. Even when they had been split up after Jenny's death she had been able to get word to Abby when she was on a mission for Mossad. But she hadn't even tried to contact them which meant that something was up.

They had discovered that she had been on the Damocles but there was no record of it docking in any port. That was when Gibbs gave them the bad news…that particular tanker had sunk in a storm and Ziva had died. He walked right out of the lab after saying that but McGee, Abby, and Tony were in shock. He went home and drank again that night. Life had suddenly lost all meaning for him. He went about like a robot during the day and drank himself to sleep each night. The only things he couldn't bring himself to do was get rid of her number in his cell phone and the pictures he had of her. Eventually he'd had enough and told Gibbs they had to do something so they set about looking for answers and they found the one thing they needed to find the terrorists camp: Caf-Pow!

He and McGee ended up captured…but that has always been part of the plan. Tony getting shot up full of Truth Serum hadn't been but he told what believed to be the truth so it was fine. What else hadn't been part of the plan? Finding Ziva, alive and well (mostly well) in the camp as a prisoner.

Saleem had come back after throwing his canteen of Caf-Pow! against the wall. He there was another person with him with a cloth covering their head.

"Questions are being asked in town about missing NCIS agents." He said, "Concern that US forces might mobilize. One of you will tell me the identities and locations of all the operatives in the area and the other one will die."

He pulled the cover off the person head and sitting there was Ziva, nearly as shocked as Tony was. He couldn't show her how much he missed her. He had to be strong and stick to the plan.

"Well," he said, "How was your summer?"

"Out of everyone in the world who could have found me, it had to be you?" she said.

"You're welcome." He replied with a naturally glib response, "So are you glad to see me?"

Of course she was glad to see him. Even if they were both going to die together. But seeing him brought up all those feelings that she thought she had passed and she couldn't help but sound bitter. She had been prepared for death without seeing him one last time.

"You should not have come."

"Alright then, good catching up. I'll be going now." He half joked and tried to stand, "Oh yeah…I forgot…taken prisoner."

"Are you alright…McGee?"

"I'm just glad you're alive."

"You thought I was dead?"

"Oh..oh yeah." Tony said

"Then why are you here?"

"McGee…McGee didn't think you were dead."

"Tony, why are you here?" she repeated her question

"Couldn't live without you, I guess." He couldn't help himself. The truth just slipped right out of him.

I just need you now

I just need you now

Ooo, baby, I need you now

"So you will die with me?"

She didn't know about the plan. Of course, he wasn't quite sure about the plan either. All he knew was he needed to keep Saleem talking. He guessed they'd been prisoners for almost thirty-six hours by that point. Once he hit that thirty-six mark, Gibbs would do what he does best…protect his team.

"You should have left me alone." She continued.

"Okay, tried couldn't, listen. You should know I've taken some kind of truth serum so if there are any questions uh… you don't want to know the answer to..."

"I did not ask for anyone to put themselves in harm's way for me. I do not deserve it."

Didn't she understand…in his mind she did deserve it. Simply because she was Ziva…and he needed her.


So? What did you think?