TITLE: THE HELMSMAN'S LOGS - 2371

AUTHOR: L.E. Jones

CODE: Paris, Crew, P/f

RATING: [PG-13]

SUMMARY: The first in a collection of Tom Paris' personal logs

during Voyager's seven years in the Delta Quadrant. Part 1

focuses upon the ship's first year, 2371.

FEEDBACK: lee66132000@yahoo.com - I would appreciate constructive

feedback. Thank you.

DISCLAIMER: Tom Paris and all other characters related to Star

Trek Voyager belong to Paramount, Viacom, Rick Berman, the

Roddenberry family and other Trek producers.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: I had recently read J.A. Toner's marvelous

"Log Entries", a collection of B'Elanna Torres' personal logs

from Season 1 to mid-Season 5. For a while, I had hoped she

would write a similar story from Tom Paris' viewpoint, but, so

far, it has not happened. In the end, I decided to take on

that task myself. This story is a collection of Tom's logs

during Voyager's years in the DQ.

Also, Season 2 episodes like "Projection", "Twisted", "Elogium"

and "The 37s" were originally supposed to air in Season 1,

after "Learning Curve". Therefore, the incidents featured in

those episodes will be covered in Part One.

"THE HELMSMAN'S LOGS" by L.E. Jones

PART ONE - 2371:

STARDATE 48316.7 - I'm back on a Starfleet vessel. I can't

believe it! If only Dad could see me now. I can imagine how

he would feel. Then again, maybe not. I never understood Owen

Paris. Nor has he ever understood me. I have met the person

whom Dad could relate to. And probably did. Captain Kathryn

Janeway of the Federation starship, VOYAGER.

Gods, I'm regressing. I better start from the beginning. It

all began two days ago. I was serving my eighteen month

sentence at the Federation Penal Settlement in New Zealand -

otherwise known as Club Fed, repairing a ? generator, when a

throaty voice called out my name. I looked up and there stood

this red-haired goddess in a Starfleet uniform. Maybe goddess

isn't the right word. The good Captain is what one would

describe as diminutive in height. But despite that, she did

have presence.

To make a long story short, Captain Janeway asked me to help

search for a particular Maquis ship that had disappeared in the

Badlands. It seemed her security chief was part of the crew -

as a Starfleet spy. And guess who commanded this particular

crew? My old 'buddy', Chakotay. I can imagine that bastard's

reaction, when learns that I helped Starfleet hunt down his

precious ship. Did I say when? That's right. Despite the

fact that helping Janeway locate her missing officer seemed

like a hopeless task, I decided to accept her offer. And why

not? I certainly have no loyalty toward Chakotay and his

bunch. Hell, they made my life miserable during my few weeks

in the Maquis. And Janeway has offered to add a word or two to

my next parole review. Who could resist that?

So, here I am, aboard VOYAGER. I must say that she seemed like

one hell of a ship. Gods, I would give my right leg to set at

the helm. But it would never happen. Caldik Prime and my stint

in the Maquis made sure of that.

Speaking of Caldik Prime, it seems to have follow me here to

Voyager. The ship's doctor brought it up the moment I

introduced myself to him. He had been the chief medical

officer at the base on Caldik Prime, at the time. The First

Officer didn't say a word. At least not with Janeway looking

on. But that sneer on his face and his hesitation to shake my

hand, said a thousand words.

If it weren't for Harry, this damn trip would have been a bust.

Ensign Harry Kim. They don't make Starfleet ensigns greener

than him. I had to save him from a Ferengi barkeep on Deep

Space Nine, bent on cheating him out of a few latinum. A few

years on a Starfleet vessel should rid him of that naivety.

And I'm sure that once Cavit or Dr. Fitzgerald tell him about

the real Tom Paris, he'll wise up to me. Damn! Harry is one

of the few people on this ship I really like. Just as well.

I won't be around very long. End personal log.

STARDATE 48324.61 - A lot has happened in the past few days.

Hell, I don't know where to begin. VOYAGER got flung 70,000

light years into the Delta Quadrant by some entity on an array

station. This little journey cost the ship several key

officers - including Cavit, Fitzgerald, the chief engineer and

the lovely Lieutenant Stadi. What a shame about Stadi. I

rather liked her.

The crew was beamed to the array, disguised as some Midwestern

farm. Some holographic beauty punched me. We also found the

Maquis crew in a state of unconsciousness. And we ended up in

the same position for three days, while the entity poked and

prodded us. Even worse, I had a 'pleasant' little reunion

with Chakotay on the Bridge. The poor bastard was surprised to

learn that his Vulcan weapons man turned out to be a Starfleet

spy. And embarrassed when Janeway prevented him from beating

the tar out of me. I would have enjoyed his embarrassment

even further, if it wasn't for Harry's disappearance.

It seems that the being on the array had failed to return a

Maquis engineer and poor Harry to their respective ships.

Which has made me worried. About Harry, I mean. He was the

first person I could truly call a friend. Even after Cavit and

Fitzgerald told him about the three people I killed at Caldik

Prime, and how I got cashiered, he still wanted to remain my

friend. What did he say? "I prefer to choose my own

friends." Gods, what a friend! And now, he's missing. I only

hope that Captain Janeway can get him back before something

happens to him. End personal log.

STARDATE 48327.97 - It looks as if VOYAGER is stranded in the

Delta Quadrant. For good. I don't mind. Ever since the ship

got lost, life has . . . well, it has turned out for the

better.

I don't have to return to prison. We found Harry, along with

the Maquis engineer, on some planet a few light years away from

the array. I saved Chakotay's butt in the Ocampan tunnels and

earned myself a bodyguard. I'll need one now that the Maquis

has joined the crew, after Chakotay destroyed their ship during

a battle with a warlike race called the Kazon. The crew has

also acquired a couple of hitchhikers - a funny-looking joker

named Neelix. He's a Talaxian. Our other hitchhiker is an

Ocampan woman named Kes, whom we had saved from the Kazon.

She's very beautiful.

Best of all, Captain Janeway has given me a field commission

with the rank of lieutenant . . . along with the Conn Division.

Which means that I am now VOYAGER's chief pilot. Isn't life

grand? I only hope that I can make up to Janeway for all she

has done for me. End personal log.

STARDATE 48339.17 - Life aboard VOYAGER isn't bad. Well . . .

not that bad. I have to keep an eye out for the Maquis

crewmen. Just in case they decide to use me as a punching bag

for helping Janeway track them to the Badlands. I suspect that

a good number of the Starfleeters might want to do the same.

There is the Conn Division. On one hand, being head of the

division entitles me the position of chief pilot. So far, none

of them have been openly hostile - except for Henley, the lone

Maquis. And yet, they seemed reluctant to seriously pay

attention to the training I have devised for the division.

I'm trying to be thrilled about my new position as VOYAGER's

chief helmsman, but it's damn difficult to command a group of

people who consider me a criminal that deserves to spend the

next 70 years in the brig. How do you lead people like that?

It finally came to a head when I tried to give them a pep talk

about learning new piloting maneuvers. "We're Starfleet

pilots," Jon Hamilton had said. "Which means that we were

trained at the Academy, just like you. At least none of us had

killed anyone in a shuttle crash. And later lied about it."

For that remark, I assigned Hamilton to the Beta shift for the

next two weeks. Hey, I never claimed to be saint. Vindictive,

yes. But not a saint. After my little disciplinary action

with Hamilton, the other pilots have ceased questioning my

piloting skills.

Chakotay certainly doesn't make life easy. Now that he is

VOYAGER's First Officer, he seems more interested in acting as

my tormentor, instead of bodyguard. If I'm two or three

minutes late on the Bridge, he doesn't hesitate to point it out

in front of everyone. Even worse, I've been summoned on

several occasions, regarding tardiness and Starfleet

procedures. Mind you, this is coming from a man who once

dropped out of Starfleet to join a terrorist group.

At least I have Harry's friendship. I don't know how long that

will last. Especially, since he has become friends with that

half-Klingon he was trapped on the Ocampan homeworld with. Her

name is B'Elanna Torres and she works in Engineering. I never

met her during my stint in the Maquis. I had only been with

Chakotay's cell for a few weeks before my capture, and she was

on a top-secret mission, at the time. I must admit that I find

her very beautiful, although somewhat temperamental. She has

made it clear that like her fellow Maquis, she dislikes me.

Not that I care. I'm not exactly fond of her. I don't mind

her bad temper, but I find her self-righteousness a little hard

to take. A taint she has obviously picked up from Chakotay,

while they were both in the Maquis. I only hope that she

doesn't come between Harry and me. End personal log.

STARDATE 48443.01 - Nothing much happened recently. VOYAGER

got trapped into an event horizon. Which brought on the sticky

subject of temporal mechanics. Gods, I hate dealing with that!

It was one of my worst subjects in the Academy. One good

thing came out of it. The pilots under me wanted to know how I

flew VOYAGER out of that horizon. Even Hamilton. To be

honest, I did nothing spectacular. Especially since Janeway

ordered me to use the ship like a battering ram for our escape.

The event horizon brought about another change. Joe Carey is

no longer VOYAGER's Chief Engineer. B'Elanna Torres, Harry's

half-Klingon friend, has become the new chief. Despite

breaking Carey's nose in three different places. If that's how

one can become chief engineer, how does one become the first

officer? Or the captain? Chakotay must be thrilled that his

little protégée has joined the senior staff.

One last little tidbit that hasn't exactly made my day.

Because of a course in biochemistry I took at Starfeet, I am

now the new medical assistant and have to work with that

holographic egomaniac in Sick Bay. Sometimes I think the gods

must hate me. End personal log.

STARDATE 48533.7 - Gods, it's been one hell of a day! VOYAGER

came across a new race called the Vidiians, while searching for

a supply of dilithium.

These Vidiians are a race, who have been inflicted by some

deadly virus called the phage, for the past millinium or two.

To keep their race alive, the Vidiians have engaged in

stealing organs from other humanoids. Ugh! While on an Away

mission with Harry and Chakotay, Neelix had his lungs stolen by

two Vidiians.

If one ever thought that doctors made lousy patients, try

dealing with an annoying Talaxian. I would have removed those

holographic lungs the Doc had created for Neelix, just for a

little peace and quiet, if it weren't for Kes. She seemed very

concerned about Neelix and I had to assure her that he would

make it through this crisis. I just don't get it! What does

Kes see in a guy like Neelix, anyway? Gratitude for saving her

from the Kazon? Fortunately, VOYAGER managed to capture the

two Vidiians and one of them turned out to be a physician. He

found a way to alter a donated lung to match Neelix's

physiology. Guess who turned out to be the donator? That's

right, Kes. Sigh!

Speaking of doctors, our own chief medical officer is turning

out to be a real pain in the ass. I could understand the

little lecture about holographic matter and so forth. But did

the bastard have to slap my face to prove his point? If you

ask me, the man is a sadist. Maybe I can find a way to change

his personality subroutines. I've always been pretty good at

holoprogramming. There is one thing to be thankful. Kes has

just become the new medical assistant. Which means I won't

have to hang around Sickbay - unless necessary.

Oh, I forgot. Neelix has converted the Captain's private

dining room into the galley. And now, VOYAGER has a genuine

mess hall. Now that we have a cook, the crew can save

replicator energy. I don't know about the rest of them, but I

think I'll stick with replicated food. End personal log.

STARDATE 48549.92 - How can I put this in a nutshell? VOYAGER

explored a nebula, still in search for a supply of dilithium.

The nebula turned out to be a living organism that we damaged

during our little exploration trip. With a little fancy flying

from me, along with the Doctor and Torres' expertise, we

managed to repair the damage to the nebu . . . uh, the life

form. Of course, all of this resulted in VOYAGER being

drained another 20% of energy.

Anything else? Oh yes. Neelix decided to entertain the Bridge

crew with a few selections of Talaxian hors d'erves. Which I

declined - naturally. I also discovered that Harry remembers

being inside his mother's womb. What a shame there isn't a

ship's counselor on board. I think Harry could really use

one.

I also introduced Harry to my new holoprogram - a recreation of

one of my favorite spots in the universe, Sandrine's. It's a

tavern I used to frequent, when I spent my second year in the

Academy at a Starfleet base in Marsailles, France. This

prompted Harry to remark that I miss Earth. Hell, if Earth

only consisted of Sandrine's, I would. By the way, I believe

that Sandrine, herself, has developed a little interest in my

good buddy.

After our encounter with the nebula/life form, the rest of the

crew decided to try out my program. Including the Captain, who

turned out to be quite the pool hustler. If only Starfleet

knew. The only person who seems to dislike Sandrine's was

Lieutenant Torres. One of my characters, Gaunt Gary, tried to

proposition her. She, in turn, called us both pigs. You know,

I'm beginning to suspect that Torres really lacks a sense of

humor. If the Captain could tolerate a few innuendos with good

grace, why couldn't she? End personal log.

STARDATE 48558.22 - Ran into Kes in the Mess Hall, this

evening. Since Neelix was busy preparing dinner for the crew,

I decided to offer her a little company. I learned a lot about

Kes. About her parents, her childhood on the Ocampan

homeworld, and her captivity by the Kazons. We spent so much

time talking about her that we barely touched on my background.

Which suited me just fine. Besides, with a certain Talaxian

cook giving us the evil eye every now and then, we decided to

end our little conversation. What the hell is wrong with

Neelix, anyway? Did he honestly think I would steal Kes from

him? Or ravage her? Hell, the worst anyone could accuse me of

is introducing Kes to my favorite drink - spinach juice, with a

touch of pear. End personal log.

STARDATE 48579.93 - We came so close to returning to the Alpha

Quadrant. Too close, if you ask me. Thank goodness for bad

luck.

Harry had discovered a wormhole that might lead back home.

Although I joked about the Federation (science institute)

naming the wormhole after him, inside I was filled with dread.

Home? Who wanted to go there? As far as I'm concerned,

VOYAGER is home. In the end, we discovered that the wormhole

was too small for the ship to travel through. The Captain

ordered Lieutenant Tuvok to launch a probe through the

wormhole, anyway. I suspect that she had hoped to make contact

with Starfleet. The probe got stuck in some eddy, thanks to

some phase variance. But we managed to eventually make

contact with a Romulan. Fortunately, this Romulan refused to

talk and cut off communication. But that didn't deter my good

buddy, Harry. While the rest of us slept, he decided to

continue attempts to re-establish contact with the Romulan.

Gods! What does he hope to accomplish? End personal log.

STARDATE 48582.31 - The wormhole turned out to be a bust and

boy, I am relieved! Hell, a return to the Alpha Quadrant would

mean only one thing for me - a reunion with my fellow convicts

at the Federation Penal Settlement in New Zealand. And that's

a fate I would like to avoid, thank you very much.

For a while, it seemed that the Alpha Quadrant awaited us. Not

only did Captain Janeway managed to re-establish contact with

the Romulan, Torres found a way to transport both objects and

people through the wormhole. Our Romulan contact, a scientist

on a top secret science vessel, became the first humanoid to be

transported through a wormhole, from one quadrant to another.

Then fortune finally stepped in when Tuvok discovered that the

phase variance caused us so much trouble, because the wormhole

not only lead to the Alpha Quadrant, but also twenty years in

the past. Also, our Romulan visitor will not live long enough

to send our messages to the Federation. I realize that the

others are upset, but as far as I'm concerned - all's well that

ends well. End personal log.

STARDATE 48588.21 - It's been difficult containing my glee over

our failed attempt with the wormhole. I must be the only

person aboard VOYAGER - aside from Neelix and Kes - who isn't

disappointed. Although I suspect that our Delta Quadrant

natives are disappointed on behalf of the crew..

Harry has been in a funk, over the past two days. I tried to

cheer him up with a trip to Sandrine's. Instead, he accused me

of being glad over the whole debacle. How could I deny the

truth? Right now, he's in Torres' quarters and both are

probably weeping together over lost opportunities. Do

Klingons weep? I have to look that up.

I can understand why Harry, the Captain and other 'Fleeters are

upset. But why are the Maquis? Don't they realize that a

return to the Alpha Quadrant meant a few years in prison for

them? They sure as hell can't return to fighting Cardassians.

After all, they're now officially Starfleet prisoners.

At the moment, Kes is the only person I can talk to. While

helping her in the Hydropondics Bay, I explained my feelings

about the wormhole to her. She seemed to understand. Gods!

What a relief to find someone I can be honest with. End

personal log.

STARDATE 48604.37 - How could I have been so stupid? What the

hell was I thinking?

Once again, I've gone ahead of myself. This is what happened.

VOYAGER encountered a race called the Baneans. They offered

to help repair VOYAGER's busted ?. The Captain ordered Harry

to the Banean homeworld, to confer with their top scientist on

the repairs. And since they were at war with another race

called the Numeri, guess who had to fly Harry to Banea? That's

right! Me.

Gods! If only Captain Janeway had sent another pilot. If only

Doctor Ren had been married to an older and less attractive

woman. Hell! If only I had listened to Harry and Liddell, I

would not be in this mess! Liddell Ren. The moment I laid

eyes upon her, I fell in deep lust. Very beautiful and

obviously very bored with her marriage. And since I was bored

listening to Harry and the Doctor discuss engineering, I

decided to focus my attention on the gorgeous mistress of the

house.

Poor Doctor Ren ended up murdered - stabbed in the heart. The

Baneans accused me of the deed, claiming that the good doctor's

memory engrams clearly showed that I was guilty. Only, I don't

remember stabbing the man. Nor do I remember kissing Liddell

in the Arterium. Unfortunately, the Baneans didn't believe

me, thanks to those memory engrams. And now, they have

convicted me of murder and punished me by grafting Doctor Ren's

engrams with my own. Every fourteen hours, I have to relive

the memory of the murder through his eyes. Something is not

right. The murder couldn't have happened like this!

Fortunately, the Captain and Tuvok arrived on Banea to

investigate and return me to VOYAGER. I only hope they can get

me out of this mess. End personal log.

STARDATE 48607.42 - Thank goodness for Tuvok! If it weren't

for him, I would have spent the rest of my life, reliving false

memories of Doctor Ren's murder, every 14 hours. Considering

how those engrams were frying my neural pathways, I would not

have lived very long.

Tuvok discovered that I was being used as a courier between the

Numeri, and Doctor ? and Liddell, who were both traitors and

spies for the former. Great! Just what I always wanted to be.

As for Doctor Ren's memories - it turned out that Doctor ?

planted altered memories onto my neural pathways.

Harry told me that he would never do what I did. Fool around

with the wrong woman. But he will. One day. And I told him

so. Okay, maybe Harry's comments did irk me a bit. But I was

serious when I told him that one day, he could meet the wrong

woman. It happens to a lot of guys. Including straight

arrows like Harry.

I found Lieutenant Tuvok in the Mess Hall and thanked him for

clearing me of murder. In his usual Vulcan fashion, he claimed

that he would have otherwise if I had been guilty. But I

thanked him, anyway. Maybe for being himself, for once.

Ohters would have naturally assumed the worst and not bother to

investigate the matter. Tuvok had approached the case in his

usual objective manner, thank goodness. As for the rest of the

crew - well, they had all assumed I was guilty, until Tuvok

proved otherwise. With the exception of the Captain, Harry,

the Doctor and Kes. Thank goodness for friends. And the

Doctor. End personal log.

STARDATE 48635.01 - Will miracles cease to exist? I don't

think so. Especially after I was approached by one of the

Delaney sisters for a favor. It seems that Jenny has developed

an interest in a certain Operations chief and would like me to

arrange a date. Knowing Harry's devotion to a certain

fiancée, 70,000 light years away, I realize it would be

difficult to arrange this date. I've already tried it once and

it didn't work. Maybe I can try bribery. Or blackmail. Hmmm,

then again, Ensign Eager isn't the type to succumb to bribery.

And he hasn't done anything worth blackmailing over. Oh

well. Maybe I'll just pester him to death. End personal log.

STARDATE 48638.27 - What do you know? Pestering him to death,

actually worked! In the end, I finally got that double date I

wanted earlier. Harry, Jenny, Megan and I had the date in

Holodeck One, enjoying the charms of Venice. Well, Megan and I

were able to enjoy Venice. I can't say the same for Harry and

Jenny. They went for a ride in a gondola and in her enthusiasm

to seduce Harry, poor Jenny overexerted herself and both ended

up in the Grand Canal - heads first. Gods! If I didn't feel

sorry for Harry, I would have laughed. (Pauses) Okay, I did

laugh. But only after Megan laughed first. Her laughter can

be very contagious. So full of life. As for Harry and Jenny -

I have a feeling they won't be dating for quite a while. End

personal log.

STARDATE 48643.26 - The whole ship knows about the date with

Delaney sisters. Heck, even Torres and Seska were discussing

it, while the former oogled the ship's Marble Model. I'm

referring to, of course, Ensign Murphy. Actually, there are

two Ensign Murphys. The other Murphy serves under Tuvok in

Security, while the Marble Model is in the Science Division. I

wonder what Torres sees in a man who resembles a Starfleet

recruitment poster, anyway?

At least I'm no longer on the Maquis' shit list. Harry and I

actually managed to enjoy a conversation with Seska and Torres.

Our little camaraderie didn't last very long. Chakotay

summoned the Senior officers to the Bridge. It seemed Voyager

came across a ship emitting a distress signal. The ship is

from a nearby planet called Sikaris. And its inhabitants have

invited the crew to spend a few days there, and partake in its

pleasures. Sounds interesting. End personal log.

STARDATE 48643.38 - Ah, Sikaris! I must say it was a beautiful

planet with riches and food, galore for enjoyment. Many of the

women seemed very attractive. Unfortunately, my enjoyment of

the planet was nearly spoiled by my best friend.

After befriending a Sikarian woman named Endana, Harry

discovered that the Sikarians possessed some kind of trajector

that permitted folded-space transport. This trajector could

shorten Voyager's return to the Alpha Quadrant by 40,000 light

years.

I could only imagine Janeway's reaction when she heard the

news. Excited. Relieved. To be honest, I didn't feel the

same. The further Voyager remained from Earth, the better for

me. Thanks to Harry's discovery of the trajector, the Alpha

Quadrant had loomed pretty close. Too close. Thankfully, the

Sikarians had a canon of laws similar to the Federation's Prime

Directive. Their laws prevented them from introducing their

technology to other cultures. You know, I usually have a dim

view of the Prime Directive. I mean, what's the point of

non-interference in an alien culture, when Starfleet is suppose

to be about exploration? You can't explore unknown worlds

without some kind of interference or influence - however

unintentional. The Captain plans to approach the Sikarian

government about making Voyager an exception to their rule. I

hate to say this, but I hope she fails. End personal log.

STARDATE 48648.68 - What a goddamn mess! Who would have

thought a visit to a pleasure-seeking planet would end with

Voyager being nearly destroyed by a warp core breach? And its

Security Chief and Chief Engineer ending in deep shit with the

Captain? Frankly, I'm just glad I'm not the one who messed

up.

The Sikarian Council had rejected Janeway's request for Voyager

to use their trajector technology. Thank goodness! She had no

choice but to abide by their decision. But it didn't end

there. Harry's friend, Endana, introduced him to a Sikarian

man named Jaret Otel, who was willing to break his world's law

by trading the trajector technology for a library of Federation

literature. Harry, Seska, Torres and I discussed it. I more

or less told the others that they were wasting their time. The

Captain might consider Otel's offer, but in the end, she would

never go against Federation principles.

Of course, I was right. But Janeway's decision did not stop

Tuvok and Torres from making the exchange with Otel. And when

Voyager finally left orbit, the trajector proved to be

incompatible with Federation technology and nearly caused a

warp core breach. I learned from Harry that Seska and Joe

Carey were also involved in this scheme, but only Tuvok and

Torres got chewed out. If she had done worse, Voyager would

have ended up with Rollins or Pete Durst as Security Chief.

And Sue Nicoletti as Chief Engineer. I'm just glad that damn

trajector never worked. End personal log.

STARDATE 48662.6 - Will the Universe ever cease to amaze me?

It certainly didn't, today. Who would have thought? Seska, a

Cardassian! Not only was she a Cardassian, but an agent of the

Obsidian Order, assigned to infiltrate the Maquis! What can I

say? I'm shocked. (Pauses) Then again, knowing Seska's

character, maybe not.

Thanks to encounter with a damaged Kazon-Nistrim ship, we

learned that someone aboard Voyager had been trading Federation

technology to the Kazon in exchange for their protection.

Suspects came down to two people - Seska and Joe Carey. Not

surprisingly, most of the 'Fleeters suspected Seska and the

Maquis, Carey. My choice was Seska. When I told Harry, both

Torres and Ayala overheard me. "Starfleet to the end, right

Paris?" Torres had said with her usual sneer.

I had told her that my Starfleet background had nothing to do

with my opinion. "I don't know Carey that well," I said, "but

I know Seska. I don't trust her within an inch of my life.

She has the brains and imagination to pull something like

this. And you all know how she feels about Federation

principles." To everyone's surprise, Ayala agreed. It seemed

he never really trusted Seska, either.

After Seska's escape to another Kazon ship, most of the Maquis

walked around, either in a daze or looking humiliated.

Especially Chakotay. He was, after all, Seska's loudest

defender and former lover. Poor Chakotay. He was always a

lousy judge of character. End personal log.

STARDATE 48671.28 - Just came back from a date with Megan

Delaney. Alone, this time. We had an intimate little dinner

at a romantic restaurant on Gerdi Prime, inside Holodeck Two.

After supper, we enjoyed a walk along the beach, followed by a

nightcap inside my quarters.

Ah, Megan! Such a nice, calm person, in compare to her sister,

Jenny. There were times when she almost reminds me of . . .

Shit! What the hell is wrong with me? I just enjoyed a

pleasant night with a beautiful and intelligent woman and all I

can think about is our cook's girlfriend. Kes. Gods, will I

ever stop thinking about her? Or better yet, will she ever

dump Neelix? End personal log.

STARDATE 48695.34 - I nearly lost Harry, today. While enjoying

his Beowulf holonovel, Harry was captured by a photonic being

that had been accidentally brought aboard the ship, while we

were gathering energy from a photostar. The being took refuge

in Harry's Beowulf program and later captured him. It also

captured Tuvok and Chakotay, after they were sent to

investigate Harry's disappearance. In the end, the Captain

sent the Doctor to rescue our missing officers. Thankfully,

the Doc succeeded and received a special commendation for his

troubles. Now, if only the Captain could order Torres to do

something about his personality subroutines. End personal log.

STARDATE 48733.51 - Voyager had a strange encounter with

something out of one of those old "B" movies that I usually

enjoy. While investigating some dark nebula, Tuvok and

Chakotay's shuttle was attacked. Tuvok only sustained minor

injuries, wihle the good Commander ended up brain dead. His

bio-neural energy had been removed from him.

It turned out worse than we thought. Some trianic energy being

had possessed Tuvok, in an attempt to convince the Captain to

investigate this dark nebula matter. The being belonged to a

race called the Komar, who wanted the crew's bio-neural energy

as substance for his people. Meanwhile, another entity began

invading the minds of other crewmen - including mine - in an

attempt to prevent Voyager from entering that nebula. This

second entity turned out to be Chakotay's bio-neural energy,

displaced by the Komar's attack. Just great! My brain nearly

became food for a bunch of non-corporeal beings and was twice

possessed by the Great Spirit Chief, himself. Oh well, at

least we managed to escape the nebula and the Komar. End

personal log.

STARDATE 48736.53 - This afternoon, Neelix had decided to hold

a little celebration in honor of Chakotay's recovery and our

near escape from the Komar. Jesus, this guy would just about

hold a party for anything. Not that I mind. The more parties,

the better. I suspect that this was Neelix's way of

celebrating Kes's recovery from an attack by the

Komar-possessed Tuvok. Hmmm. Certainly not a bad reason to

celebrate, in my book.

Captain Janeway and the Maquis seemed to be the only ones

really celebrating. I guess they need something to celebrate

after Seska's humiliating revelation. Well, most of the Maquis

seemed happy. I noticed B'Elanna Torres, sitting by herself

and shooting jealous looks at the very chummy Captain Janeway

and Chakotay. Gods! Is that little infatuation of hers,

still going on? Doesn't she realize that Chakotay is not her

type? Too bad Harry is still mooning over his lost love,

Libby. Quite frankly, he would make a better choice for

Torres. Of course, I don't exactly relish sharing Harry's time

with her. (Beep beep) That must be Megan. I forgot that she

was coming by for drinks, tonight. End personal log.

STARDATE 48766.73 - Not much happened today. Voyager

investigated a Class J nebula - one of many we have encountered

since our arrival in the Delta Quadrant. The only interesting

thing that happened was a minor conversation with Kes in the

Mess Hall. We discussed some our favorite foods. One of hers

happens to be something called Lokar beans. I told her about

tomato soup (something those damn replicators haven't got

right) and peanut butter-and-jelly sandwiches. My ultimate

comfort food. By then, even Neelix got into the conversation.

I don't know if this was his way of keeping an eye on Kes and

me, or merely just genuine interest. At least we managed to

exchange a few words without any hostility or suspicion from

him. End personal log.

STARDATE 48777.42 - Another dull day in the Delta Quadrant. I

guess every day can't be an exciting encounter with a new

species. Voyager stumbled into the Avery system. It seemed to

consist of several Class M planets. The Captain, in one of her

bouts of "science exploration", decided she wanted an

investigation of magnacite formations on some of the planets.

I was assigned to explore the planet, Avery III with Pete Durst

and B'Elanna Torres. Voyager should rendezvous with us in two

days. I guess it won't be that bad. Pete's okay. He was one

of the few crewmen who had been friendly toward me from the

beginning. And as for Torres - well, have managed to strike

up a cordial relationship in the last five or six weeks. Hell,

it's a lot better than spending two days with Chakotay or

Neelix. End personal log.

STARDATE 48790.33 - Gods! I simply don't know where to begin!

I feel as if I had taken part in some bizarre horror vid from

the 20th century. Sigh! Might as well get it over with.

While investigating magnacite formations on Avery III with

Durst and Torres, we were captured by Vidiians. That's right.

The same species who had stolen Neelix's lungs, three months

ago. These Vidiians didn't simply steal our organs. They

forced Pete and myself to become part of their slave labor. I

had no idea what happened to B'Elanna. Until the following

day. It seemed some Vidiian doctor named Sulan had extracted

her Klingon DNA, leaving her completely Human. How gruesome!

I still remember the shock of seeing B'Elanna completely Human

for the first time. Oddly enough, I was too surprised by the

change to notice her looks. I must admit that she looked

beautiful. But then, I've always thought she made a beautiful

Klingon/Human hybrid. Not only had her looks changed, but her

personality, as well. Gone was the tough and temperamental

woman and in her place, an emotional and sad woman, driven by

fear. I guess the trauma of her situation drove her to be a

little more open about her past. She told me about her

childhood on Kessik IV and how she blamed her Klingon side for

driving her father away. She has not seen him in nearly twenty

years. If that's true, the man is an idiot. (Pauses) I think

I'm getting a little personal, here. Anyway, I tried to

comfort her with a little revelation of my own. I told her

about the haircuts Dad used to enforce upon me, at the

beginning of every summer. I don't think it worked. Then

again . . . she did smile a little.

Then everything went from bad to worse. The Vidiian guards

took Pete Durst away. That was the last time I saw him. I

tried to prevent the guards from taking him, but they didn't

want me. Can't blame them, I guess. Who would? I later

found out that they didn't want Pete to send a message to

Voyager. Instead, that monster, Dr. Sulan had Pete's face

grafted upon his. The guards came back for B'Elanna, leaving

me feel even more useless. God only know how long I would have

remained part of the slave labor force, if Chakotay hadn't

shown up, disguised as a Vidiian. Too bad we couldn't take

the Talaxian with us, but the guards were even reluctant to let

me go. We found two B'Elannas being confronted by Dr. Sulan,

with Pete's face plastered to his skin. I don't know what

shocked me more - seeing both a Klingon and a Human B'Elanna at

the same time, Dr. Sulan, or witnessing Klingon B'Elanna's

death after she saved her counterpart's life. Too bad she

died. I would have liked to know her. End personal log.

STARDATE 48791.56 - I still can't help thinking about that Away

mission on Avery III. To me, it's a reminder of my failure as

a Starfleet officer. I can't help but wonder what I could have

done to avoid capture or save Pete. I had a dream about it,

several hours ago. At one point, Human B'Elanna's face

transformed into the dying Klingon B'Elanna's, and eventually

into Dr. Sulan, with Pete's face. I woke up in a sweat, after

that. Unable to sleep, I decided to head for Sick Bay to pay

B'Elanna a visit. She still looked Human. Unfortunately,

Chakotay was also there and they seemed to be sharing a tender

moment I didn't want to interrupt. Oh well. Maybe I can read

myself to sleep. End personal log.

STARDATE 48799.76 - I finally spoke with B'Elanna. She came to

my table, while I was eating a late dinner in the Mess Hall,

last night. We were the only ones there. She looked normal.

Her Klingon traits had returned, ridges and all. B'Elanna

told me what happened to her on Avery III. Apparently, Dr.

Sulan had used a genetron to remove her Klingon DNA, creating

two B'Elannas in the process - one Klingon and one Human. He

fell in love with the Klingon Human and used Pete's face to woo

her. He must have been a sick man. Sulan also needed a

full-blooded Klingon to test his theory that Klingon physiology

was resistant to their phage. As it turned out, he was right.

B'Elanna told me that after her Klingon couterpart's death, she

had assumed she would remain completely Human. I guess the Doc

ruined that dream when he informed her that he needed to

restore her original genetic structure, using Klingon

B'Elanna's DNA. She seemed disappointed that she would never

be completely Human. I'm not. Although I found both her Human

and Klingon selves to be beautiful, she seems more interesting

as a hybrid. I even told her so. My little remark managed to

produce a small smile, but I could tell that she didn't draw

much comfort from it. I hope that one day, she will learn to

appreciate her true self. She can really be fascinating. Now,

if only I can learn to do the same about myself. Hmmm, fat

chance of that ever happening.

Anyway, B'Elanna thanked me for supporting her during our

captivity. We also discussed Pete Durst, whose face is now

grafted upon that mad bastard's own face. When I asked if she

would like to accompany me to Sandrine's, she declined.

B'Elanna told me that she needed more rest. Oh well. At

least we've finally buried the hatchet between us and can

finally become good friends. I guess that's one thing I can be

grateful about Avery III. End personal log.

STARDATE 48804.91 - Gods, I'm exhausted! Not a surprise, since

I had my sleep interrupted by a call from the Bridge. Crewman

Henley failed to show up for Gamma shift. Again. This is the

third time in two months. I had to give her a personal

reprimand the last two times. Last night, I personally roused

Henley from bed and ordered her to report to the Bridge. Or

consider herself on report. After a fifteen minute debate,

which ended with me threatening her with the Brig, she

complied. I really don't know what to do with her. I can't

threaten her with the Brig, forever. I also realize that she

resents being stuck on a Starfleet vessel, thousands of light

years away from home. But one day, she will have to realize

that she has very little options. End personal log.

STARDATE 48837.63 - Voyager stopped at an M-class called

Napinne. Pleasant little place. And the inhabitants were also

pleasant. Harry, B'Elanna and myself visited the surface for a

few hours, while the Captain, Neelix and Chakotay set about

obtaining food supplies. With the fruits and vegetables now

growing in the Hydropondics Bay, hopefully Voyager won't be so

dependent upon food supplies from other planets, stations and

ships in the near future. End personal log.

STARDATE 48840.42 - Once more, Crewman Henley failed to appear

for her duty shift. This time, I put her on report. Not long

after I finished Alpha shift, today, Chakotay requested my

presence in his office. To discuss Henley, unsurprisingly.

He wanted me to reconsider my decision to put Henley on report.

Give her a chance to fit in with the crew. Then he bored me

with some speech about

Starfleet officers learning how to lead subordinates.

Something that already bored me to tears during Command

school. The big hypocrite! I can't believe this is the same

man who has given me nothing but grief since we first laid eyes

upon each other. Hell, I've been giving Henley a chance for

six months! At least until now. Like it or not, both she and

Chakotay were going to have to live with that reprimand on her

record. Being an ex-Maquis, I doubt that Henley even cared.

End personal log.

STARDATE 48845.9 - After Tuvok's encounter with Ken Dalby, the

Captain has ordered Henley, Dalby and a few others to undergo

basic Starfleet training, under Tuvok. Poor bastards!

Meanwhile, various ship malfunctions have plagued the crew,

since leaving Napinne. Something to do with the bio-gel

packs. End personal log.

STARDATE 48854.3 - Life aboard Voyager has returned to normal,

thank goodness. No more malfunctions for the time being. The

Captain ordered the ship's systems to overheat, in order to

kill the virus that had infected the gel packs. Gods, the

Bridge almost felt like a furnace. For a while, I wondered if

I would ever be able to breathe again. All thanks to that damn

cheese Neelix had purchased during our stay on Napinne.

Henley and the others are still undergoing their field

training. Must be working, since Henley has reported for duty

without any problems. She also requested additional training

in shuttle maneuvers in the holodeck. We'll probably never be

friends, but thank goodness I no longer have a troublemaker on

my hands. End personal log.

STARDATE 48892.4 - Harry told me an unusual tale. The Doctor's

programming and the holodeck systems had malfunctioned, thanks

to the kino-plastic radiation from a anomaly that Voyager came

across. While stuck in one of the holodecks for six hours, the

Doctor believed he was a real person named Lewis Zimmerman and

that Voyager and the crew were all a holographic simulation.

He even thought Kes was his wife. Sigh! I knew it. I've

always suspected that the Doc had eyes for our favorite

Ocampan. And this only proves it. Kes is quickly becoming

quite the little heartbreaker on this ship. She has already

captured mine. End personal log.

STARDATE 48921.4 - Gods, this has certainly been a day to

remember! I've just spent hours at the Helm, dodging a swarm

of . . . hell, I don't what they were! Some kind of life forms

that resembled a . . . Okay, they resembled human sperm.

There! I said it. I only Starfleet Command never get a hold

of this log. Although the creatures resembled sperm, they had

mistaken Voyager as some kind of sexual mate. Even worse, they

began draining energy from the ship's systems, in their attempt

to procreate. More problems appeared when a large creature

appeared also began to regard Voyager as a mate. Jeez! I

didn't realize the ship looked that desirable! Both Torres and

Tuvok wanted to destroy the creature, but Chakoay suggested

that Voyager mimic the smaller ones, giving the impression to

the large creature that we have no interest in procreation with

space born creatures. Ha! Sex in the Delta Quadrant!

Speaking of sex, the Captain made a joke to the Commander about

referring to expertise whenever the subject of procreation

appears. It wasn't the joke that caught my attention, but the

way she said. I do believe our captain was flirting. The look

on B'Elanna's face was certainly memorable. She seemed

completely shocked. When I brought up the topic in the Mess

Hall, she gave me a death glare that rivaled the mighty Janeway

herself. I see that she still has that crush on Chakotay.

Gods, when will it ever end?

Then again, who am I to complain? I still have feelings for

Kes. In my case, I can say that it's more than a crush.

Before our encounter with the swarm, I helped her gather

Oblissian cabbages from the Hydropondics Bay. On our way to

the turbolift, we encountered Chakotay, along with Ensigns

Bennett and Gallagher. It seems the good Commander caught

them "fraternizing" in the turbolift. Hmm, maybe the Captain

was right about him being the right man to solicit advice about

procreation. End personal log.

STARDATE 48925.38 - Plenty of surprises awaited me, when I

found Kes in the Hydropondics Bay, following my shift. First

surprise - Ensign Sam Wildman from the Science Division is

pregnant. It seems that Ensign Wildman, who happened to be a

very nice lady, left behind a Ktarian husband on Deep Space

Nine. Considering how flat her stomach looked, my first guess

was that she sought solace in the arms of a crewman, here on

board Voyager. After all, Voyager has been in the Delta

Quadrant for over seven months, now. But according to Kes, the

embroyo is definitely half-Ktarian. Hmm, maybe Ktarians have

a longer gestation period.

The other surprise? Kes informed me that the electrophoretic

activity from the swarm, yesterday, had sped up her elogium.

Namely, the sexual maturation for Ocampan females. They

usually go through this phase between the ages of four and

five. And since this elogium would have been Kes' only shot

at conception, she asked Neelix to mate with her.

Neelix and Kes as parents. Now there's an image that

makes me shudder! At first, Neelix felt reluctant. Hell, if I

had known, I would have offered Kes my services. However,

Neelix eventually agreed to mate with her, but she changed her

mind, after realizing that she was not ready for parenthood.

Kes' elogium ended when Voyager left the swarm behind. I

thought she had lost her chance at motherhood and was prepared

to console her. But Kes assured me that her elogium was false

and the real phase will probably return after her fourth

birthday. I only hope she and Neelix are no longer a twosome

by then. I realize it's a rotten thing to say, but I can't

help feeling they're wrong for each other. End personal log.

STARDATE 48946 - Gods, I must really be pathetic! While

playing pool with Harry and B'Elanna in Sandrine's, last night,

I spotted Kes and Neelix cuddling around a corner table, happy

as pie. Depressing sight. In typical Tom fashion, I decided

to hide my disappointment by flirting with nearly every female

in sight. Except with B'Elanna, of course. One doesn't

flirt with a close friend. I guess the old Paris charm must

have worked. Later that night, I ended up in bed with Yoshi

Kyoto. After I "subtly" sneaked out of bed this morning, Yoshi

caught me. She assured me that she wasn't looking for a

permanent relationship. I'm relieved . . . but now, I also

feel like a complete shit. End personal log.

STARDATE 48964.07 - Today was Kes' birthday. Sigh! Kes'

birthday. Huh. All I can say is that it certainly didn't turn

out the way I had expected. Not long after we surprised her

with a party inside Sandrine's, Voyager encountered a

distortion ring that transformed the ship into a labyrinth.

First, the Captain, Chakotay and I got lost, while searching

for the Bridge. We ended back inside Holodeck One. Later,

Torres and I used the turbolift to reach Engineering. To my

surprise, we were fortunate. Thanks to the distortion ship,

B'Elanna almost walked in on Crewman Nozawa, inside his

quarters, dressed only in his skivvies. Let's just say it the

first time I ever saw a Klingon woman blush. A sight, I

suspect, I'll never see again.

The distortion ring proved to be the third or fourth

noncorporeal life form we've encountered since our arrival in

the Delta Quadrant. And all it wanted to do was greet us and

exchange information. Hell of a way to say hello. Both

B'Elanna and Chakotay nearly came to blows with Tuvok on how to

stop the distortion ring. In the end, Tuvok had the best

suggestion. Do nothing.

Kes' birthday party turned out to be a disappointment. I have

her a gold filigree locket as a present. She seemed stunned by

it - much to my delight. That delight didn't last. After our

encounter with the distortion ring, the party eventually

resumed. Kes, who had been worried by Neelix's disappearance,

declared that she wanted a photo of him, inside her locket.

Great! Just great! A photo of Neelix's mug will be inside

the locket I gave her. Even worse, I had to stand there on the

Bridge and hold Kes' birthday cake, while she and Neelix locked

lips.

Sigh! I'm beginning to think that my feelings for Kes are just

as hopeless as B'Elanna's feelings toward Chakotay. But I

can't help it. All I can do is hope that she realizes one day

that Neelix is not the man for her. End personal log.

STARDATE 48972.4 - Voyager came across an old 1936 Chevy truck,

here in the Delta Quadrant! Being a connoisseur of anything

20th century Earth, my heart nearly leapt with excitement at

the sight of that old vehicle. I even got a chance to

demonstrate how the truck's engine worked, once Harry tractor

it to Voyager. I don't think he, the Captain and the others

appreciated the noise or the carbon monoxide.

The truck also emitted an old S-O-S signal that led us to an

L-Class planet not far away. The trinimbic interference in the

planet's upper atmosphere made the shuttles and the

transporters, ineffective. So, the Captain ordered me to land

Voyager on the planet's surface. All I can say that it was

one of the most thrilling moments in my life. And I did it

without a hitch.

The Captain, Harry and members of the Away team not only found

a Lockheed Electra aircraft (which I would have loved to get my

hands on), but several Humans in cryostasis. Kes and I later

joined the Captain and Harry for a closer inspection. Would

you believe it? Among the Humans were the legendary pilot,

Amelia Earhart and her navigator, Fred Noonan. It seemed she,

Noonan and the other Humans had been abducted from Earth by

aliens over 400 years ago, during the late 1930s. Voyager has

discovered the mystery of Earhart's disappearance. If only

the Alpha Quadrant knew. Noonan proved to be a paranoid who

managed to hold us hostage. The Captain eventually convinced

him and Miss Earhart that we meant them no harm. Also, a group

of aliens had fired upon Tuvok, Chakotay and another Away team.

Harry told me that after the Captain disarmed them, she

discovered that they were also Humans. Boy! Things really

seemed to be heating up! End personal log.

STARDATE 48974.55 - I did it. I decided to remain aboard

Voyager and continue the journey to the Alpha Quadrant. I'm

probably the only crewman, who has a good reason to remain on

New Earth. Well, it's not really called New Earth, but that's

what most of the crew has decided to name the planet.

It seemed the planet's original inhabitants, a race called the

Briori, were the ones responsible for abducting Amelia Earhart,

Noonan and 289 other Humans from Earth. They brought the

Humans to this planet to serve as slave labor. However, the

slaves revolted, killed the Briori and established a new

civilization. Hence, New Earth. I even managed to visit one

of the cities. Gods, it really surprised me on how it closely

resembled San Francisco. Maybe that's the reason I decided not

to remain behind. It simply reminded me too much of Earth.

Too much of the bad times I had endured. But I must admit that

Kes' decision to remain aboard Voyager played a part in my

decision. Along with the feeling that I could not abandon the

Captain. Not after all she has done for me.

I also got a chance to show Miss Earhart, Voyager's helm. I

don't know about her, but I got a big thrill. Miss Earhart,

Mr. Noonan and the other "37s" (the original ones abducted),

decided to remain on New Earth. I wish them all the luck in

the world. Meanwhile, not one member of the crew decided to

remain behind. Hmmm. I thought at least the Maquis crewmen

would consider. I guess not. End personal log.

STARDATE 48999.17 - New Year's Eve. Huh. I can't remember the

last time I celebrated the New Year. Oh yeah, it happened two

years ago and I was at this casino on Perdon Gel. With that .

. . Gods, what was her name? Damn! I don't even remember.

Anyway, the Captain gave us permission to celebrate the arrival

of 2372 at Sandrine's. Neelix has even volunteered to create a

few delicacies to entertain the crew. In defense of our

stomachs, the Conn Division pooled their replicator rations to

provide refreshments not cooked by Neelix. I'm sure the crew

will thank us. Meanwhile, I have to shower and change for the

party. I'm suppose to take Marie Kaplan and I'm already

running late. If I don't return until tomorrow, Happy New

Year! End personal log.

END OF PART 1