What if I left?
What if I just ran away?
Would you miss me?
Sometimes I doubt it.
Would you go through my belongings?
Would you sit on my bed and cry?
Would you finally realize
That you didn't know anything about me?
Sometimes I doubt it.
Sometimes I doubt that you care.
Sometime I think
And I cry
While I sit here and realize
Would you care?
Would you care that you didn't know me?
That there were secrets I kept from you?
That the life I led wasn't the one you thought I did?
Would you care?
Sometimes I doubt it.
There are times when things get bad
And I'm crying or I'm mad
And you ignore me
Acting like you can't hear me
But I know you can
I sit on my bed
Looking out the window
Thinking
About if I ran away
How would you react?
And sometimes I really think that I am going to run
Away from my hopes
Away from my dreams
Away from my family
Out the window
And down side of the house
Darting across the lawn
And hopping over the fence
With only a bag of my belongings
To wait for dawn to arrive
And the next morning when you come into my room
Screaming that I'm going to be late for school
You'll find the note
Lying on my bed
Clothes missing from my drawers
And my sleeping bag gone from my closet
And while I'll be far away in a park
Maybe at a friend's house
Laughing and asking
Will you adopt me?
Because you never cared
You never came to my softball games
You never comforted when I needed it
And maybe when I'm older
I would come back and visit you
If you're lucky
But I probably won't
Because you don't deserve it
And you deserve to feel the pain I did
And 2 years later
When I'm safe and sound
With a loving family
I find out that you died
And I probably won't come to the funeral
Because I couldn't bear it
Because I loved you even when you hated me
And I'll change my last name
Or never speak of it
Because I wonder
And I think
And I cry
While I sit here and realize
Would you care if I left?
And after several hours
And several sleepless nights
The answer is clear
No
