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Homepages MP3s Email Games After 8 long years of training, I was ready to take the World Wrestling Federation by storm. I trained myself ever since I had been 14 years old. When I turned 19, I enrolled in a small town wrestling school and graduated proudly. I was in the Illinois Wrestling Federation for 3 years under the alias Poison Ivy. My real name is Erin Andrews, and it has been my life long dream to become a professional wrestler for the WWF... and now it's become a reality.

I tried to relax myself that night, but I couldn't. Receiving a call from Vince McMahon himself would of course make someone as nervous as I was. I paced my bedroom, looking at the clock, checking if it was 2:00 in the afternoon yet. Of course it wasn't 2:00 in the afternoon, it was 3:30 am.

"Jeez, Erin... You've got to get some sleep." I told myself wisely. I layed back in bed and turned on the television, hoping for the usual nightly infotainment to put me to sleep.

After 20 minutes of channel surfing, I decided to read the most boring book I owned to cure my insomnia. I looked through my bookcase, searching each shelf as though I knew which book I was looking for.

"AH HA!" I proclaimed as success was at hand. "The Haymeadow..." I had read The Haymeadow when I was 14. I had always hated that book because of the useless plot it projected. Some boy named John goes off in this meadow alone with a bunch of stupid sheep and dogs; he bitches and complains because he's a pussy and he can't hack it in the damn meadow for 3 months. Just because some wolves and storms come along doesn't mean you have to whine about it. Just deal with it. I only passed all the tests involved because of my talent of bullshitting my way out of trouble. My parents always remark, "She could've become a lawyer, but she chose that... OTHER career."

After 1 hour of reading, I expected to be dozing off happily to dreamland, but I was wrong. "NO! Don't do it, John! Watch out for the snake... Wait a minute. I hate this book. I don't care what happens to this loser. I just want to check one thing out..." I flipped to the end of the book and read the few last parts. "Oh... he lives..." I tossed the book aside in disappointment. I looked at the clock, only 4:50. "Yes! I've got 8 hours and 10 minutes left until my 9:00 meeting with Vince McMahon!"

I picked up the phone and called up my friend Gwen. "Hello?" Gwen picked up the phone obviously tired.

"HEY GWEN! What's up, girl?" I must've sounded like I had just done some speed.

"Erin?" Gwen asked more awake.

"Yeah! That's me! So, whatcha' doin'?"

"I WAS sleeping. Why are you calling me at... 5:00 in the morning?"

"Well, guess what! I got a call from Vince McMahon saying that he wanted to hire me for the, guess!"

"World Wrestling Federation?" Gwen asked calmly.

"YEAH! How'd you know?!"

"Lucky guess..." Gwen stated with pure sarcasm.

"Ha ha. I just can't sleep, Gwen. I'm totally excited about this meeting and I can't go to sleep at all."

"Well, I'd like to be able to go to sleep, and I'm sure my husband Dave would too. So, I'll call you tomorrow and ask you ALL about your meeting, okay?"

"Okay! Good night!" I hung up the phone and layed back in bed. What could I do to make myself tired? I've tried reading, and that didn't work. If I had some Yanni CDs, I'd put those on and go to sleep, but I have enough dignity not to buy Yanni CDs. I closed my eyes and tried counting sheep. Sooner or later, I was knocked out.

The next morning, I looked at my clock and noticed it was 1:30 pm. I panicked and rushed to the shower. I had no idea my alarm wouldn't wake me up. Duh? Maybe because I didn't set it. I ran out the bathroom with my towel around my body and quickly picked out an ensemble to wear. I dried my hair as best as I could with as little time as I had.

I darted down my stairs of my apartment and jumped in my car. The speed limit must've been 35 miles per hour, but I had chosen to drive 60 miles per hour. I was speeding down the road care free when I had gotten in line of an old woman. I was going almost 10 miles per hour and was screaming several four-lettered words out my window with my finger in the air.

By the time I had finally arrived at the arena where Vince had told me to go to it was 2:45 pm. I had trouble with the security guard after he told me "I wasn't on his list."

"Are you sure? Vince McMahon told me that I was supposed to come here at 9." I told him breathless.

"Look, I said before and I'll say it again. 'You're not on my list.'" He stood tall and proud boasting his arrogant authority. "Now, go and watch in the arena, you're not getting backstage."

"Look, if you don't let me in that building, I'll--"

"What's the problem here, miss?" A man with a deep Southern accent asked from behind. I turned around and was shocked at this beautiful man coming to save me and most of all let me in the stupid building.

"This is between me and the girl. Who are you anyway? You're probably not on my list either." The security guard checked.

"Matt Hardy." He said while putting his sunglasses in his pocket.

The security guard double checked and rolled his eyes in defeat. "Go in."

I tried to follow the Southern babe into the doorway, but the security dumbass blocked my way. "You're not making this easy on yourself. Look, I have a meeting with Vince McMahon and I have to get in here now. My name is Erin Andrews and I'm on the list."

"There is no Erin Andrews on the list."

I thought for a second. "Um... but my wrestler name is uh, Trish Stratus! So, you sexy security guard, why don't you let me in?"

The security guard was obviously not impressed. "No."

Vince McMahon had probably given up on me coming at all. I tried to distract him, but some younger kids beat me to it.

"Hey! You kids get away from that car." The security guard chased after a few kids in the parking lot and I saw my chance to duck into the building.

I ran looking behind my shoulder frequently, afraid of getting caught. I bumped into someone and fell on the ground. "Ouch." I stood up and looked behind me.

"I'm sorry." A blonde man helped me up. "Who are you? I haven't seen you here before."

"Uh, I'm Erin-- I mean, Trish Stratus. Don't you recognize me?" I nervously tried to get this guy off my back.

"No, you look different."

"Hey you!" The security guard ran down the hall towards me.

"Oh, well, it's all that plastic surgery! Gotta go!" I ran off while the blonde yelled a few things to me.

"I'm Chris Jericho, just in case you were wondering." He yelled to me as I ran down the hall.

I found the first door and closed it behind me. "Boy, oh boy! I ran into the jackpot room!" I mumbled. I was surrounded by men getting ready for their matches later that night. I even noticed that Matt Hardy guy from earlier.

The room was quiet as I looked around. "Uh... hi there." I said nervously. All of the men were staring at me in shock as I walked around the lockerroom. "Does anyone know where Vince McMahon's office is?"

All the men looked at each other and smiled. "No..." They hinted.

"Shut up, you perverts. She's just looking for Vince." The Southern stud walked me towards the door. "I'll show you." We walked out the hall together with Matt's hand on my back.

"So, what's your name?" I acted as if I hadn't heard it earlier just to make conversation.

"I'm Matt Hardy, and you are?" He smiled.

"I'm uh... Trish-- Erin Andrews."

"Trish Erin Andrews?"

"No, just Erin Andrews."

"Okay. So, what are you doing here?"

"Vince McMahon hired me and wanted me to come here. He said we'd check out what he wants me to do for the company."

"That's cool. Welcome to the WWF." He shook my hand.

"Thanks, Matt." I smiled.

We continued talking about our lifes and how much we had waited until our big breaks in the wrestling business. We would've finished our conversation but we had arrived at Vince's office.

"Well, here it is." He opened the door for me.

"Thanks for showing me here." I shook his hand.

"No problem, and remember, if you ever want to get together and do stuff, let me know." He walked off and I stepped into the office.

"Well, hello there, Miss Andrews. I was wondering when you were coming." Vince was sitting in a chair looking up at me.

"I'm SO sorry! I can explain." I nervously sat down across from him.

"Don't worry. Just make sure it doesn't happen again."

"Yes, Mr. McMahon."

"So, that was quite a show you put on at that IWF house show I attended. I was thinking at first making you a ho for the Godfather..."

Please no. I prayed he wouldn't put me with the Godfather because I didn't want to be a... ho.

"...well, tonight you can be with the Godfather when he comes out and he'll mention you as the best ho or something like that. He fights Jericho and you turn on Godfather and help Jericho win the match. Then, the storyline is you are Chris Jericho's wife and you are both heels. You'll soon fued with the Hardy Boyz and such. Okay?"

"Okay. I'm cool with that." I sighed in relief at the thought of not being a ho for a long time.

"Well, get ready for that match now. It's almost five." Vince McMahon showed me out his office and I happily walked down to the women's lockerroom.

I opened the lockerroom door and saw that all of the women had left. I figured to get take a shower and get ready all by myself. I searched for an outfit to wear on the rack and let my hair down.

After choosing an outfit, I went to the showerroom and turned on the water. I heard some voices outside the door, but decided to ignore it thinking it was some of the other women getting ready. I began to wash my body, but I stopped when I heard the voices outside the door again; this time they had gotten louder. I put on my towel and looked outside the door to see 2 blondes and 1 guy with multicolored hair sitting outside the doorway peeking in to see naked women.

"Excuse me!" I pushed the door open angrily.

"Uh, it was Jeff's idea!" One of them hurried to his feet.

"We're Canadian, don't blame us." The second blonde pointed to his buddy, the first blonde.

"No way, Adam! It was both you and Jay's idea!" The last guy with multicolored hair started a fight with the other two.

"Look, whoever you are, can I PLEASE take a shower without any multicolored haired guys and Canadians bothering me?" I walked back into the shower and noticed it was 5:30. I had barely anytime to get ready. I finished taking my shower and got dressed into my hoochie outfit. I was walking down the hall and I ran into Matt again. He was dressed in his ring gear and lead me to the makeup station.

"Wow, you certainly changed clothing." He laughed.

"I'm a ho. Can't you tell?" I sat down in the chair and awaited my makeup and hair to be fixed.

"Well, I've got find my brother Jeff and talk to him about our match tonight." Matt began to walk off.

"And tell him if I ever catch him in the women's lockerroom again, he's dead." I called after Matt as he laughed.

After my makeup and hair was finished it was almost 7:00. I was so nervous about tonight. I had to go and talk to the Godfather guy to talk to him about the plan for tonight. He understood all that was planned and suggested I go talk to the other "hoes" for instruction in attitude.

I waited in the back anxiously watching the matches on the monitor. I had butterflies in my stomach and tried to calm down. When it was finally my time to go on TV, I prayed that I wouldn't mess up too bad.

The Godfather, a couple of hos and I walked out together and the crowd roared. We walked down to the ring and got in surrounding the Godfather. It was now my time to shine, but I was afraid I wasn't reay. He said his usual speech and then notioned for me to come by him.

"Yo, to all my pimp daddies in this mutha! I got me a new ho last night, and boy! She's getting me ALL da' money! She knows all about playa haters and she knows that Chris Jericho is a big playa hater! So, why don't all you pimps up in this house give a warm ho-train welcome to my new girl, Poison Ivy!" He introduced me to the crowd.

Chris Jericho's music blasted and he came down to the ring with a mic. I noticed that he was the blonde I had met in the hallway. He smiled at me, but tried not to make it obvious to the crowd. "Godfather, I am not what you say as a "player hater". I just wouldn't want to be seen in public with a bunch of nasty... ugly... rat-faced... used up... disease infested... TRASH BAG HOES! So..." The Godfather attacked him before he could finish his trash talking. The rest of the hoes and I got out the ring and cheered on the Godfather. As the match went on I was waiting for my cue from the ref to get involved in the match.

The referee got knocked out and he held out his hand, which was my cue to mess with the match. The Godfather told me to get on the top turnbuckle and do a legdrop on Chris Jericho. I got up and had to do a dropkick on him instead. The Godfather was knocked out cold and Jericho put him into his submission move called the Walls of Jericho as I woke up the ref. The ref called for the bell and Jericho picked up the mic after releasing the hold.

"Godfather, don't you EVERRRRRRRRR... talk like that about my WIFE, Ivy Jericho again." Jericho tossed the mic on the ground and we headed backstage together.

Six months later, we did our normal husband/wife act and I interferred in all of his matches. Matt had told me I was doing a great job and sooner or later, I could go on my own. We had grown closer together, going out after Raw and having fun. We'd go sign autographs together and occasionally eat dinner together.

"Erin?" Matt asked me that night when we were watching a movie in my hotel room.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Can I ask you help for something?"

"Sure, I mean, what are friends for?"

"Well, I have a crush on this girl..."

"Uh-huh."

"...and I know she's single... but I'm afraid she might not like me."

"Matt, you are so sweet and cute no girl could resist you. All you have to do is, just go up to her and say 'Would you like to go on a date with me?' I'm sure she'd tell you yes that very second."

"Are you sure it will work?"

"Of course it will!"

"Okay... Erin?"

"Yep?" I looked at him.

"Would you like to go on a date with me?"

"You are such a liar!" I swung a pillow at him and he caught it. He threw it to the side as I laughed. He leaned in and kissed me on the lips. I was stunned and looked at Matt as he leaned back.

"Uh... I shouldn't have done that." He turned the other way. I looked at him and he looked back at me. We both leaned in and kissed again.

Matt pushed me on the bed and climbed on top of me; we kept exchanging kisses to each other. I rubbed Matt's back, and he rubbed his hand up my thigh. Higher and higher up my leg, he sent a tingle up my spine. He took off his shirt and began to unbutton mine. I pulled my shirt off and dropped it next to the bed. He kissed up and down my stomach gently using his tongue occasionally. He stuck his hands under my back and I sat up as he unhooked my bra. Slipping off my bra straps, he kissed my shoulder and moved on to my neck. I unzipped his pants and slid them down. He stood at the foot of the bed and kicked them off.

After unzipped my jeans, he placed his hands by my hips and pulled them off. He tossed them on the ground and crawled on top of me. He smiled as he stared deep into my eyes. He kissed up and down my chest with his sweet lips. Matt gave me extraordinary pleasure I could never imagine receiving. He knew he was ready and I was too. We took off our underwear, and Matt entered my body roughly. I moaned with passion as Matt continued the constant vibration. Pushing harder and harder, I couldn't control my breathing. Matt was amazing, making every single possible move perfect. I held onto him, gripping tight... but that didn't stop Matt. Matt groaned with exhaustion and I screamed loudly as I finished. It was an incredible night to remember! Everything was above satisfaction.

The next morning, we woke up in each other's arms. Matt gazed into my eyes saying, "Last night was amazing."

"I thought so, too. You were wonderful." I kissed his chest.

"So, do you believe me now?" He laughed.

"Absolutely." I kissed him. Matt was something I had been needing for a long time. Not only was he a good friend, but I had found out he was a good lover, too.