(A/N): Might be an overdone topic, I'm not sure... Haven't really had time to search through all the hundreds of fan fics here and when I searched keywords nothing came up so I think I'm generally in the clear. If you have read something like this, I hope my freakish outlook on the ZIMMMM world gives it a new spin. I hope you enjoy it and don't forget to review!
It is set in Zim's point of view and when he's not around, it's just third person.
DISLCAIMER: I do not own Invader Zim. -sniff- This goes for the rest of the fic.
Well that's definitely taller than me, so it HAS to go... I sat in a massive laser turret blossoming out of the top "window" of my roof. I blasted several street poles to dust. The whole street was a mess of the charred remains of trees, street lamps, mailboxes and anything else that was taller than Zim. Except for the maybe the houses, they were taller than EVERYONE! The mighty beings! Besides, they were useful for storing... stuff.
It was three years since I'd come to Earth, and I've made quite a bit of progress with the mission. Half of the Earth population is terrified to come out of their houses before eight in the morning and six at night, and I'd long ago claimed the entire street. No one dared to try and occupy the houses after what happened to their previous owners.
I have also, in keeping with my clever ruse to fool the humans, continued to attend Skool somewhat regularly. I had no need to become "popular" but now the kids there respected me a bit more, not to mention kept out of my way. Yes the stupid Dib-pig still hung around, but his delusional hope that he could stop me was beginning to falter, and it showed. Things seemed to be going right.
No one but a fellow Irken would understand my problem, though, even then they would probably laugh as not many others are in my situation. I know that the Dib-human has laughed at my "dumb issues", as he calls them. Ha! If only he knew how important they really were if you wanted to get anywhere in life! What was really getting me down wasn't the fact that I was one of the five Irkens who hadn't conquered their assigned planet. Or the fact that I wasn't invited to the Tallest's last Christmas party, even though it was rumoured to have been one of the best... No it was the ever conscious, continually bugging, ALWAYS present fact. I'm short.
I couldn't help it. I'd been measuring myself for the past year and a half, I was curious. It's true that the facts have shown that I've grown at least ten centimetres in that time, but that still left me a good twenty behind everyone else "my age". The stupid Dib-stink realises this is something he has over me, no pun intended, and flaunts it at every possible turn.
'Oh hey Zim, need some help reaching the dictionaries? They are very high up on that shelf.'
'Can't you see over Torque's head Zim? You might have to stand on your chair.'
'Sir, Zim has his hand up too. It's kinda hard to see though.'
It just makes me want to destroy him! Not like I haven't tried... Oh if the only thing I have left is the fact that I have tried I'll know I can live my life. Capturing him is like trying to catch a very slippery Floorgy-worm in its natural marsh land without specially adapted Floorgy-worm gloves! He knows now he can't just waltz into my base, not that that wasn't hard enough before, so he makes things to attach to me or, more likely, Gir to retrieve information. I had to set up a very complicated checking station that anyone who enters that house has to pass through before doing anything secret. The last time that his plan actually worked was three months ago when Gir smashed in through a window and immediately went down to the lab. I lost millions of files when he corrupted them with that device of his! The bug wasn't able to escape as Computer caught it in time (still no proof Dib-pig!), and that's when I made a little toy of my own... He's been in blackout since.
Even though the Dib-stink hasn't confronted me about it, having an unfixable technology blackout for three months is bound to alert him to the fact that it is superior Zim technology causing it and will give him the chance to ridicule my stunted height once more. I seemed to have a plan for everything but that. I sighed and went back to blasting stuff.
The next day before going to High Skool I decided to check in on the various experiments I had running in the houses around the street. As I opened the door to the first house a robot leapt out in front of me and saluted.
'Sir, reporting for duty. Experiment number 608 fully operational. Awaiting further orders.' It said in a mechanical voice.
'Good job. Continue with your observations. Are the peacocks growing as predicted?' I asked the SEM unit. A little invention of my own. Works quite well if I do say so myself, a Specified Experiment Monitoring unit. Only good for the one thing though, can't make edible snacks to save it's life. I've been planning to make another version of the specified unit for days... I have the quite the collection now, what with the Specified Invention Watching unit, the Specified Testing Things unit, the Specified Guarding Stuff unit AND Gir. Gir's become considerably more of a handful now that there are more of "his kind" around. I may even have to make a specified unit just to look after him. Although, if it weren't for him the specifieds wouldn't even exist.
One day when he was messing around with the power amplifier, he got too close to the power extractor. I had just ordered him to get down from there and guard the Voot Cruiser when the serious side of him generated the power of "guarding" and that was all he was able to do until the cloud of "guarding" wore off. When I realised what had happened I discovered we were able to clone Gir this way to do specific things if I created the power a body. And thus the first SGS unit was created, only being able to do that one specific thing because that power was the only one contained inside of it. Once I tried to mix several powers in one body, but after that experiment I'd been scraping debris from behind my sockets for weeks! It's easy to make more of the same unit because you don't need Gir for it and the other units are completely under my control, but I still require Gir to make new versions. I have yet to find out whether the power ever wears off.
'The peacocks have already fully developed jets, Sir.' The SEM unit replied.
'Excellent!'I exclaimed and rubbed my hands together. 'Carry on!' I cried over my shoulder and turned to go check on the other houses.
By the time I'd gotten to Skool the bell had rung for the beginning of form class. I was late but then so were another eight students. Dib was already in there sitting up front and centre. Ages ago I'd heard the other children call him things like "teacher's pet" or "TP" for short. I often had fun imagining Dib as a filthy dog, forced to beg for food and roll in mud, so when I joined in calling him that, it was the start of something good. The children started laughing at my wisecracks, which meant they'd also started listening. They realised that I too hated the Dib-stink and that, therefore, I was normal. Dib of course continued to try and persuade them that I was an alien but now there was absolutely no hope at all he would convince them.
I walked up to an empty seat at the back of the class. I really didn't care where I sat or whose seat I was sitting in and everyone appeared to have learnt to deal with it.
The teacher started droning on about the daily notices and everyone else started talking. Today was Friday, so while the teacher mumbled away at the front of the room, everyone else began planning their weekends.
I was often invited to such planned events, and a few times I'd accepted and tagged along. It was boring and filthy at most parties and a trip to the beach was less than comfortable with all that water around, so eventually I'd come up with the plausible excuses that my parents don't like me going out at all hours and I was allergic to salt. Dib had cried out many times what a coincidence all this was but no one believed him whatsoever and I was in the clear.
