I enjoyed myself immensely writing this story. Picture me cackling evilly as I furiously type... Hehe ya... I think of this story as my brain child. My lovely, lovely child. Yes, I am that proud of it ^_^ So prepare yourself for the awesomeness! Be warned! Your spleen might explode from excessive laughter. Also, this is my first lime! Yay! Not an all out lemon, but that might be coming next ;) Please remember to review. It will be much appreciated.
Disclaimer: Sadly, not my own. Though I can dream...
"Wait!" Naruto called out as he picked up a book that had been dropped by a small brunet that they had found stalking the dark haired young man only moments before. The girl ignored him and continued to run away. "Hey Sasuke," Naruto curiously looked at the item in his hand.
"What is it dobe?" Sasuke questioned in a bored tone as he continued to walk with his hands in his pockets.
Naruto ran to catch up to his team mate with an excited expression on his face. "Did you know that your fans made a book about you?" He walked backwards in front of Sasuke and held out the article to show him. It read Sasuke-kun vol 4 on the otherwise plain black cover.
"Hn" Sasuke continued to walk towards team Kakashi's meeting point, completely uninterested in what kind of stuff those crazy girls where writing about him.
The blond was undaunted by the other young mans apathy. He opened it up to a random page. He burst into a fit of laughter, slapping his knee as he bent over in his mirth. "Haha, look Sasuke! Some girl drew a picture of you kissing her!" Naruto exclaimed bursting into another fit that almost had him rolling on the ground.
Naruto flipped through some more pages. He looked up with a smirk on his face and ran to catch up with Sasuke. "Look! Look! This girl drew a comic of you rescuing her from bandits" the mischievous boy gave his team make a sidelong glance. "Then you proceed to throw her on the ground and have your way with her". Naruto said grinning ear to ear.
"Tch" Sasuke scoffed. "It's surprising that there is someone out there that is even more stupid than you dobe".
"Teme!" Naruto shouted before huffing and turning back to the treasure that he had found. "Hehe" The whiskered boys eyes filled with mirth. "Listen to this teme!" He couldn't contain his enjoyment as he began to read.
"I moaned into his mouth as his strong hands ran up my body and cupped my heaving breasts"
Naruto paused for a moment before bursting into rambunctious laughter. He draped his arm over Sasuke's shoulder, and leaned heavily on him in his fit of laughter.
"Dobe" Sasuke began in a warning tone.
"Wait wait! It get better!" The blond composed himself enough so that he could continue on with his reading.
"He groaned as I ran my fingers down his back in ecstasy. 'I love you' he whispered in my ear as he thrust into me with his hard di-mph!"
The Uchiha slapped his hand over Naruto's mouth. "That's enough!" he said in a seething voice. He reached out to grab the offensive book out of the blonds hand only for him to whip it behind his back and out of his reach. "Give me the book dobe!"
Naruto leaped back "No way teme! This is way too good!"
"Naruto! Give it to me!" Sasuke lunged at him. Red creeping into his eyes as he released his sharingan.
"Sorry Sasuke, but it's my duty to share this hilarity with they world!" Naruto jumped onto the nearest roof and began to sprint as fast as he could. Laughing the whole way.
Sasuke scowled as he took off after the trouble making blond. Plotting his revenge.
"Tajuu kage bunshin no jutsu!" a hundred Narutos took off in all directions. Grins splitting all of their faces.
"Naruto!" Sasuke took off after the one that he was sure was the real Naruto.
Naruto increased his speed. As he jumped from roof to to roof top. He quickly shoved the book into his jacket to free up his hands for the fight that he knew was going to go down. Naruto snickered to himself as he thought of all the people that he could show it too. Kiba was sure to get a laugh out of it. Naruto looked up just in time to see Sasuke descending on him. A superior look on his face as if he already caught him. 'ya right' he thought as he quickly replaced himself with the nearest clone and grinned in triumph as the clone disappeared in a cloud of smoke.
"You'll have to try better than that Sasuke!" one of his clones jeered in distraction as the real Naruto leaped away from the scene and into the direction that he knew Kiba would be.
Naruto slowed down to a more leisurely pace now that he didn't have the 'crazy avenging Uchiha bastard', as Naruto fondly called him, on his tail. The blond headed to where he knew team eight would be training.
Naruto laughed out loud as one of his clones dispersed letting him know just how riled up the Uchiha was getting with this game that Naruto was playing. It was like playing with fire he mused. But Naruto didn't care. He would just fan the flame more.
"Oi! Kiba!" The jinchiriki shouted as the training ground came into view. He leaped down in front of the startled team and grinned. "Want to see something funny?" He pulled the book out of his jacket and waved it in front of the brown haired shinobi's face.
"Stop moving it around you retard" Kiba grumbled as he reached out to snatch it out of Naruto hand. Kiba looked at the cover and did a double take. "What the hell is this?" he asked as he started to leaf through the pages.
"Hehe" Naruto was now bouncing up and down on his heels. "It's a book that was made by Sasuke's fan girls." He moved behind the tattooed boy to look over his shoulder as was the rest of team eight in curiosity. "Look at page fifteen".
"What the- Hahaha!" Kiba collapsed in a pile of laughter. "You've got to be kidding me!"
"Right!" Naruto plopped down on the ground next to him. "Wait till you read the story on page twenty four!" Naruto grabbed the book off the ground from where the brunet dropped it in his mirth and flipped through it till he got to said mentioned page and shoved it under Kiba's nose.
"I gripped my hair in the sheer pleasure that was running through my body as he continued to thrust into me."
Kiba looked up with amused disbelief, "Are these girls for real?"
"Yup!" Natuto cackled "Who knew that those fan girls where perverted enough to write porn about him!"
"Ha!" Kiba turned back to the book.
" 'I want you' Sasuke said out of breath
'yes' I hissed back at him through the pleasure
'to have my children' he kissed along my neck
'yes' I moaned, arching up into his touch
'will you help me' he grunted 'revive the Uchiha clan?' "
The two shinobi looked at each other and snickered.
"K-Kiba-kun" Hinata timidly fiddled with her fingers. "I- I don't t-think you should be r-reading that". She shifted on her feet. "Sasuke-kun might get man".
"You bet he is!" Naruto exclaimed with an ear to ear grin. Bouncing up and down in his excitement.
"It it not wise to provoke Him, Naruto" Shino spoke up from where he had been observing them in silence.
"Don't worry about it," Naruto waved him off, "I can handle the teme". He thumped his fist against his chest with a carefree grin. At that moment, another shadow clone dispersed. Naruto's eyes widened in panic as he quickly jumped to his feet. "Shit! Sasuke's on his way here!" He took off into the trees heading back into town, determined to show more people before he was caught by his raven haired team mate.
Not even a minute later Sasuke landed in the spot that Naruto had previously been. "Which way did he go?" he asked with a scowl knowing that Naruto was there.
Kiba, who was still sitting on the ground, failed at holding in his laughter. Sasuke's scowl deepened to near murderous levels as the brown haired nin rolled on the ground clutching his stomach.
"Na-Naruto-kun went t-that way" Hinata stuttered as she pointed off in the direction of the farther out training grounds.
"Hn" he ran off in the direction she pointed. Kiba, now gaining control over himself looked at her confused.
"But I thought Naruto went back into town..." he scratched the back of his head.
"Baka," Shino intoned, sunglasses shining in the setting suns light "She was covering for him."
"Ah!" Kiba stood and walked closer to the female member of their team looking curiously into her face. "That was really sneaky of you" Hinata's face blushed under his scrutiny. Kiba's face broke out into another one of his grins, "what do you say we follow Naruto and watch the show". With both of his team mates silence, he took it as a sign on agreement "Lead the way Akamaru!"
Naruto walked through the streets of Konoha looking for someone that would appreciate the hilarity of the book that he had once again hidden in his jacket. He walked past the Takoyaki restaurant that team ten had a habit of eating at. His eyes narrowed "hehe, Chouji will definitely get a kick out of this".
The blond walked into the establishment, eyes wandering around the room till they landed on the group of three. Just the people he was looking for. "Oi! Chouji! Shikamaru! Ino!" he giggled, "I have something interesting to show you" He nearly skipped over to them in his excitement as he once again pulled the book out of his orange jacket, and shoved it into Chouji's face.
"Hmm?" The chubby boy looked at the book in confusion, "What's this?"
"Heh" he pointed his finger at the book "That, is a book written by Sasuke-teme's fan club"
"You mean that crazy group that Ino and Sakura used to be a part of?" He asked with interest sparkling in his eyes.
"Hey!" said blond haired girl exclaimed from her seat across from him and Shikamaru.
"The one and the same" Naruto responded cheerfully, ignoring the fuming girl behind him.
"troublesome" Shikamaru grumbled from Chouji's side. He was resting his cheek against his hand in boredom at the antics of his comrades.
"heh heh! You should look at this picture here!" Naruto said as he flipped through the pages of the book in in friends hands.
"Whaat!" He said as he looked closer at the picture.
"I know right! As if the teme would ever smile like that!" Naruto jeered earning a snicker from the rounded boy.
"Wow," he said as he leafed through the pages, "these girls are even more messed up than I thought..." he said in wonder as he tilted the book to the side to view a different creepy picture.
Ino sat up a little straighter in her seat. Craning her neck to try to get a look at the pages. Irritated at not being able to see from her vantage point she got up to stand behind Chouji and Naruto. Her eyes widened at what she saw on the page. "OH MY GOD!" She slammed her hands down on the back of her team mates seat. "Is that a drawing of Sasuke naked!" Both boys looked at her, and all three of them burst into laughter.
"Ya, I noticed that most of the picture tend to be like that or pictures of him getting it on with a girl that I can only imagine is supposed to be themselves." Naruto wiped a tear out of the corner of his eye.
"wow" Ino grabbed the book out of Chouji's hands, "They must have started to make this after I left." she flipped to a different page.
"If you like that, you should read what is on page twenty four" Naruto snickered behind his hand as she turned to said page.
"his hand pulled my leg up to rest upon his hip, and used it as leverage to pound harder into my-"
The blond girl burst into another fit of laughter "Oh my God! They are really serious about this stuff!"
"Let me see that!" Chouji once again took possession of it.
" 'Sasuke!' I screamed his name, calling out to him as my body reached an unbearable level of pleasure"
"Naruto!" Sasuke's enraged voice could be heard coming closer to their location.
"Aw shit!" the blond trouble maker swore, " I gotta go!" he grabbed the book out of Chouji's hands and took off faster than lightning.
Ino and Chouji took off after him to watch the spectacle that they knew was going to happen once the avenger got a hold of his blond team mate.
"Troublesome" the lazy genus mumbled as he threw money down on the table and took off after the others. It was times like these that he almost thought he got the better blond as a team mate. Almost.
Naruto started sweating. Sasuke had destroyed nearly all of his shadow clones, and was gaining on him quickly. He continued to wind through the crowds in the street, pushing people aside in his haste. Naruto looked back, hearing the angry cries of the people he had just left behind. Man did this remind him of his days of the academy when he would constantly be on the run after pulling a prank on one of his unsuspecting victims.
Naruto's breath escaped him as he ran head long into his dark haired team mate, falling flat on his ass. "Itai!" he rubbed his head.
"What has you in such a rush dickless?" Sai smiled as he brushed his pants off and stood.
"Ah! Sai" Naruto jumped to his feet. He turned his head in the direction he sensed the last Uchiha quickly approaching. Thinking quickly the blond shoved the book into the pale boys chest. "Take this!" he jumped up onto the nearest roof, "What ever you do, don't let the teme get that!" he paused as he was about to leap away, "And show as many people as you can!" He then left Sai behind to ponder what that was all about.
Sai examined the cover of the book with a blank expression, then flipped it open in curiosity. "Ooh, It's about the homo." He said as he turned the pages. "Hmm... The picture quality seems to be pretty good" he thought out loud as he looked at a drawing depicting Sasuke in a very compromising and nude position with an equally nude girl. He had a thoughtful expression on his pale face as he walked to the bridge he was supposed to meet the rest of team Kakashi at. dismissing the black and blue blur that leaped across the roofs of the near by buildings. Knowing that it was Sasuke looking for his runaway team mate.
He flipped the page. "Is this what girls wants?" he questioned as he read.
"Sasuke stared at me with those unreadable eyes in silence and I could feel myself blush in shyness. He swiftly and roughly threw me against the wall. Breath leaving my lungs as he ravaged my mouth with his tongue."
"I see" he scratched his chin. "So that is how you do it" He turned to another page. "I will have to test it out for myself to see how it works" he concluded as he continued to examine it as he did with his self help books.
"Sai!" Sakura called out as she approached the bridge where he was casually leaning against the railing. "Where is everyone else?" she questioned him as she came to a stop a few feet away.
Sai gave her one of his infamous smiles, "Dickless is currently running away from homo" he shut the book in his hand with a snap.
Sakura gave a growl, "What did I tell you about calling Sasuke-kun that?" she threateningly raised her fist.
Sai set the book down on the railing, and silently looked at her with unreadable eyes.
"What?" the pink haired girl asked a little unnerved with the intensity of his gaze. A light blush dusting her cheeks as he realized once again how much he looks like the Sasuke that she used to adore. Caught up, she wasn't prepared for Sai to pounce. He swept her legs out from under her, and despite that he broke her fall with his arms behind her back, she still lost her breath. Shocked, she looked into his intense eyes as his mouth descended onto hers. His tongue easily slipping into her mouth thanks to her heaving breath.
Sakura was overwhelmed. She could feel the heat emitting from his body as he caged her on the ground. Sakura could hardly think as his tongue roamed her mouth. She moaned in pleasure as he swiped across the roof of her mouth, finally recuperating the kiss.
They stayed like that for a few moments longer, lost in the sensation. Sai finally pulled away, both of them breathing heavily with half lidded eyes.
Sakura, gathering her wits about her, quickly pushed him off her. She jumped to her feet, face as red as a tomato as she glared at him accusingly. "W-what was that about!"
Sai just ignored her as he sat up. "I see, so the book was right" he stood on his feet and brushed himself off. "Hmm though it seems it doesn't matter if it is a wall or the ground" he walked over to where he was previously standing and picked the book up once more. "I will have to study this some more" a solemn expression.
"Y-you mean this was an experiment for you self help studies!" Sai missed the danger signs she was giving off.
"Of coarse." he smiled at her, "I wanted to see how accurate this book was on a woman's reaction to being," he flipped through the book till he got to the proper page, "completely dominated and ravished" he quoted.
A vein throbbed in her head. "What kind of trash are you reading!" she snatched the book from his hand, and punched him hard enough to send him flying. "Never do that again!" she shouted with a pink face to match her hair.
She opened the book to the center page, and prepared to rip the offending article in half but paused to get a better look at the picture inside. "Ara?" she brought it closer to her face, "Is that supposed to be Sasuke-kun?" Her face morphed into curiosity as she thumbed through the pages. "Where did you get this?" she questioned as she blushed at one of the more graphic pictures.
Sai sat up. Rubbing his bruising jaw with his hand. He gave her a wary look before deciding that she was once again safe to approach now that she was distracted with her curiosity over the item in her hand.
"Dickless gave it to me" he stood up and cautiously walked back to the bridge that he had been thrown off of.
"Why would he have something like this?" her brows furrowed in confusion.
"Who knows..." Sai once again leaned against the railing "Homo didn't seem to happy about it" his face thoughtful. "He looked pretty determined to catch Naruto-kun".
Sakura tapped the now closed book against her chin.
"Perhaps he wanted to try out something in the book like I did..."
A look of horror crossed the kunoichis face. "There is no way Sasuke-kun would do that!"
"He would" Sai nodded at his own statement. "He wants dickless" crude, and to the point.
"Sasuke-kun is not gay!" Sakura Vehemently denied.
"If you say so" Sai flashed her another one of his fake smiles and turned away. Ending the conversation.
It was times like these that Naruto was glad for his great stamina. Had he been a lesser ninja, he was sure he would have been captured and killed by now. Naruto had to think. And fast. He needed a plan to divert Sasuke's anger so that he could live to see another day...
Elsewhere in Konoha...
"How could you let this happen!" A blue haired teen rebuked the trembling brunet harshly. She slammed her fist down on the table.
"I-I'm sorry!" the fidgeting brunet cried out. "It's just that... He was so handsome today, and I was unable to control myself" she finished lamely with a dazed look on her face.
All the girls that were called to the "Sasuke-kun fan club" emergency meeting stared at her.
"He looked very dashing in his jounin uniform..." she trailed off. A bit of drool hanging out of the side of her mouth as she pictured it. Many of the other girls were experiencing the same problem. "It was that Uzumaki's fault!" she said snapping back to attention. "If he hadn't pointed me out to Sasuke-kun, I wouldn't have freaked out!" she defended herself.
"Ether way!" The blue haired teen cut in, "You broke one of the biggest rules!" she narrowed her eyes. "Which rule is that ladies!" she addressed the entire room.
"No non-club member is permitted to see, or know of, club material" all the girls recited in unison.
"Now, according to our Sasuke-kun information network, Uzumaki is going around and showing that book to all the shinobi that Sasuke-kun woks closest with! Not to mention Sasuke-kun himself!" her voice got shriller as she went on.
The brunet shrank in her seat more and more with every word. Tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. She furiously held them back. Crying would only compound her infraction.
The teen leader sighed. "You must retrieve that book at all costs. Do you understand Kotoko?"
"Hai, Fumino-sama!" she sat at attention.
Fumino turned to the rest of the assembled girls, "Hitomi, Tatsuki, and Nariko! You will help her." her voice a firm order. "We need to get it back before this causes any more commotion. Understood?"
"Hai!" The three girls saluted their leader.
"Move out!"
Sasuke had Naruto pinned to a fence. Kunai pierced through his clothing and into the wood behind him as they stood on a deserted path.
"Where did you hide the damn book?" he loomed over the blond, a stormy aura surrounding him.
"Ha-haha" Naruto laughed nervously. "I may have given it to Sai".
Sasuke turned on his heels and began to pace. "what the hell were you thinking Dobe?" he ran a hand through his raven hair.
"It was funny?" Naruto said in a small voice.
"Funny is it..."Sasuke's voice was hushed.
Naruto said nothing. Afraid that the raven would blow at any moment. When he did, Naruto didn't want to be there. Especially restraint as he was.
"Do you like the things those girls wrote and drew in that book?" He turned his glowering eyes onto the pinned teen.
"Um..."
"Would you like it if I did all that stuff for real?" He took a step closer.
Naruto's eyes widened, "No!" he vehemently denied.
"No?" Sasuke smirked. "but you seemed to like reading about it..." he trailed his fingers over the blonds cheek.
"You cant!" Naruto said with a fierce expression.
"Why not?" the pale teen questioned lightly, his hand moving into the blonds hair.
"Your mine!" Naruto began pulling at the kunai. He didn't care if the ripped his favorite orange jacket. "You can't do any of that with anyone else!"
"Your in no position to be saying that dobe" the elder teen eyed The firmly lodged weaponry.
Naruto's bangs shaded his eyes. "So that's it? Your going to fuck those girls now?" Anger and hurt in his voice.
"Don't be stupid Dobe." Sasuke scoffed. He grabbed Naruto's chin and tilted his face up, and claimed the blonds mouth in a heated kiss.
"Oi! Kiba!" Ino called out as she spotted the teen with his faithful dog and team mates. "Have you seen Naruto?"
Team eight turned around to see the blond dragging Chouji and Shikamaru behind her. "Heh! He showed you the book to?" Kiba gave the girl a fanged grin as he waited for the others to catch up.
Ino returned with a sly smile, "Sure did" she flipped her pony tail over her shoulder. "And now we want to see the train wreck that is about to happen when Sasuke-kun finds him".
Kiba's grin widened, "Your in luck"He pointed over his shoulder "Akamaru has his scent and is leading us right to them"
"Ah this is so troublesome!" the lazy chuunin turned around and started to walk in the opposite direction.
"Come on Shikamaru!" Ino grabbed his arm in a vice like hold and dragged him after Kiba who had already taken off.
"Ino!" The others just followed silently.
"Come on you guys! They're over there!" Kiba exclaimed as he rounded the corner.
All six ninja stopped in their tracks. Shock splashed across their faces.
"Oh my god!" Kiba moaned as he grabbed his head as if in pain "my eyes!"
Hinata's face went redder then ever before "N-Naruto-kun..." she promptly fainted.
Shino turned away. A light blush covering his cheeks as he quickly picked up the passed out Hinata, and left.
"No way..." Chouji was frozen in shock.
Shikamaru merely turned his eyes to the sky "can't say I didn't see that coming" he grabbed his friend by the shoulder "come on Chouji".
"Sasuke-kun..." Ino's eyes were wide, "is gay?" she couldn't comprehend it.
At the sound of his name, Sasuke pulled away from Naruto's lips and turned a glare to the two ninjas still standing there. "Do you mind?" Naruto panted heavily with dazed eyes, his cheeks flushed with passion. "We're busy".
Ino stared. He didn't remove his hands from Naruto. One was clenched in the blond hair, and the other... Ino's blush deepened, she knew exactly what his hand was doing in Naruto's pants.
The raven shinobi's glare intensified at the two ninja's that had yet to move from where they stood.
"Come on Ino" Kiba was totally freaked. He pulled his blond comrade by the wrist as soon as he felt the killing intent rise.
"Hn" Sasuke turned back to his blond dobe and started trailing kisses down his neck. Naruto grunted as the older teens hand once again started to fist his erection.
"Sa-Sasuke" he moaned, "stop" the blonds head lolled to the side as his senses were assaulted with pleasure. "Someone else will-" his breath hitched, "find us".
"Shut up dobe" Sasuke sped up the pace of his hand. "This is your punishment." He said with a smirk as he tightened he hold on Naruto's dick.
"Te-teme-!" Sasuke cut off his protests. Smashing his lips against the smaller blonds, and coxing him into opening his mouth to the raven's tongue.
The whiskered teens breathing became more labored as he felt the tightness of an oncoming orgasm. He moaned into his lovers mouth as he felt it rushing to him.
Sasuke smirked. He stilled his hand before pulling It completely out of the shorter teens pants.
Naruto groaned in pained frustration. "Fucking teme" he groaned. He was so damn close!
"Heh" Sasuke chuckled. "I told you, this is punishment." He stepped away from the blond, taking in his flushed cheeks,glazed eyes, and heaving chest. His smirk intensified.
"Sasukeeee" Naruto wined as he struggled to free himself from the kunai, and the sexual frustration.
"Have fun dobe" He shoved his hands in his pockets and walked away. Leaving his struggling lover to free himself.
"God damned fucking tease!" Naruto was pissed. He had a bad case of blue balls and a shredded orange jacket. "Fucking great!" Oh how he was going to get the teme back...
If Naruto bothered to look in the bushes a few feet away, he would notice four girls passed out with nose bleeds. Dreams of their Sasuke-kun shattering into tiny pieces, yet new ideas forming in their heads. Dreaming of yaoi, and the stories they could write. Oh the possibilities...
Sasuke walked to the meeting point very satisfied with himself. The dobe was just too fun to mess with sometimes he thought to himself.
"Sasuke-kuuun!" Sakura called out as soon as she saw him approaching.
"Hn" he somewhat greeted in return as he took up his usual against the rail on the opposite side of the pale artist.
Sai looked up from is sketch pad "Where is dickless?" black eyes met black eyes.
"He's a little," Sasuke smirked "busy"
Sai stared at him silently.
"By the way, I'll be needing that book Naruto gave to you" he demanded of the artist.
Sai tossed it to him without a word. A smile of his own on his face."It was a good read".
Sasuke turned his glaring eyes from the other ninja as the book in his hand burnt to a crisp. He had never been so glad to be rid of a book.
So what do you think? I think that is a decent ending in case I'm lazy. If I'm motivated though, I plan on writing more. I already have wonderful ideas floating around in my head... Remember Reviews= motivation, and motivation= chapters! So review!
