Chapter 1.

"Hey Mistah J! Watcha watchin'?" Harley asked in her sing song voice as she sunk down next to her boyfriend The Joker on an decrepit sofa.

"Just myself on the news," He replied in a dull matter of fact tone, "Your home early. I thought you were staying at Weed Killer's till 7? Its only 5."

" Her names Ivy puddin' not Weed Killer, you know how much we both hate you callin' her that." Harley said in a saddened tone as she snuggled up to The Joker.

"I know I know pumpkin but I just love her reaction to it!" He exclaimed with a loud chuckle as he put his arms around Harley.

"Hmph. Do anything good today apart from watch yourself on the news then puddin'?" Harley enquired, sliding her hand through his bottle green locks.

"Not much really kid, waiting for you to get home mostly although I did make a couple of plans up for when I'm next in the mood for a little moonlight walk to the bank with you." He winked and flicked one of Harley's blonde pig tails.

"Awww Mistah J!" Harley giggled as The Joker shifted her onto his lap and proceeded to glide his lips across hers. "Somebody has been lonely today!" Harley giggled in between kissing The Joker.

"Well I try to keep myself busy but there's only so much plotting against Batman I can do in one day!" The Joker chortled.

"Hey boss!" one of The Joker's thugs called out as he tottered into the make-shift living room, "oh err, you two are busy, oh err, I'll just see myself out." He started to walk away.

The Joker relaxed back from Harley making her sigh, "What was it you wanted Callan?".

"Oh err well boss, me and the guys were just wondering when we'll be getting paid since you were supposed to pay us two days ago."

The Joker shifted Harley from his lap back onto the sofa with a sigh, "One second". He rummaged around in a light brown duffel bag next to the sofa till he found a wad of dark green notes and handed them to the thug in the doorway.

"Any chance we can get some privacy now?" The Joker glowered at him.

"Oh yeah sure thing boss! Me and the guys'll drink up and get goin'" Callan grunted as he scurried through the doorway he had come through. Harley proceeded to giggle as The Joker huffed his way back to his seat.

"Now then, where we pumpkin? Oh yes!" He pretended to think and abruptly jumped up from his seat and hurled Harley over his shoulder.

"Puddin'! Puddin' what are you doin'?" Harley proceeded to scream in between fits of giggles as The Joker carted her up to their room.

The Joker placed Harley on their bed and proceeded to remove his jacket and suspenders.

"I think somebody missed me today" Harley winked and let out a little giggle as The Joker removed his white shirt. He merely chuckled in response as Harley let out a squeal of surprise when he tugged her dark red tank top over her head. The Joker let out an approving growl when Harley slid off her black shorts and red tights.

"Daddy really missed me today!" Harley giggled as The Joker began to grace her neck with his velvety lips.

Jake shuddered at the sounds he heard from the window on the second floor of the abandoned warehouse he stood in front of.

"What's up kid?" Callan asked the relatively new henchman of The Joker.

"Oh nuffin' really, I just wish they shut that bloody window when their err, well you know what their doing up there." Jake shuddered as the Joker made a growling noise.

"Oh right, well just block it out, me and Joe've been doing that for the last 6 years and its worked out pretty well for us. It's that or stand out in the rain while we wait for Gaz to bring the car round an' somehow I don't think you'd rather be soaked through then listen to them two at it." Callan chuckled. Jake simply grunted in response. The truth was, he would much rather be stood in the pouring rain then have to listen to Harley and his boss. In all honesty, he would much rather swap places with his boss right now, not just because he wasn't stood outside freezing waiting for some idiot to drive him home but because he had Harley. Harley Quinn, the woman Jake had loved so much since he first laid eyes on her.

"About bloody time Gaz!" shouted Callan as a sleek black Mercedes pulled out from around the corner of the warehouse next door.

"Jeez, I wouldn't have been so long if someone," Gaz glared at Callan, "had parked the car properly rather then making me have to back out of that bloody warehouse and almost scratch the paint work!". Callan just grunted as he opened the passenger door and sat down. Joe climbed in the back and Jake followed suit with a sigh as he looked up at the second story window longingly.