Title: For Want of Chocolate
Rating: PG-13 (because Neko and Cafei have potty mouths)
Disclaimer: Cafei belongs to herself, Evelyn belongs to Vaeru, Transformers belong to Hasbro, and all name-brand foods belong to their manufacturers. Pretty much the only things I own are Neko and the chocolate shirt.
Special Notes: This is a Juxtaposition fanfic. Yes, a fanfic of a fanfic. Although, technically it's a fanfic of a fancomic of a fanfic. Confusing? Probably. Sad? Most likely. Inspired entirely off of a strong craving for Sunchips one afternoon.
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"Sunchips."
"Huh?" Evelyn and Cafei both looked up from their handfuls of edible sponge. The new girl, Neko, looked back at them, staring into their eyes before repeating, "Sunchips."
"What about 'em?"
"I miss them," Neko stated with a pout. "They're all nice and crunchy and tasty and not foam."
Cafei looked down at her so-called meal and nodded. "Sunchips are good. Doritos are better."
"Wheat Thins."
"Potato chips."
"Triscuits."
Sideswipe sighed. 'Here we go again.'
Ignoring him, Evelyn added her two cents. "Triscuits with cheese."
Neko grinned and 'ooo'ed, setting aside her own food; it was nowhere near as appealing as where this conversation was going. "Cheese in general."
Cafei mirrored her grin. "Macaroni and cheese."
"We've got the blue-box blues, yo."
Evelyn giggled. This new girl might've been crazy, but at least she was a different kind of crazy than what was already on board. "Spaghetti and meatballs."
"With mushrooms."
Cafei made a face that either said "eeeew…" or "what, are you crazy?" Neko just shrugged. "Can't help it if I'm a hobbit."
"You're not a hobbit!"
'What's a hobbit?'
It's a human-like race that likes mushrooms. Tolkien made them up. Trying to break up a potential fight, the eldest woman returned to food that they wish they had right now. "Cake."
"Nice! Chocolate cake!"
"Chocolate cake with cream cheese icing."
All three of them paused to drool; it was Neko that broke the relative silence. "Cheesecake."
"Turtle cheesecake."
"Chocolate cheesecake!"
At that, the trio sighed and in unison said forlornly, "Chocolate."
The game had quickly turned from fun into depressing. Months on end without chocolate were, in their humble opinions, the newest level of Hell. Neko retrieved her synthetic food; not feeling hungry anymore, she started picking at it, digging little holes in it with her fingernails. Feeling eyes boring into her, however, she paused and looked up.
Evelyn was staring at her. No. Correction: Evelyn was staring at her chest. Feeling uneasy, Neko covered the area with one arm and waved her other hand in front of the woman's line of sight. "Uh, Evy? Ma'am?"
Evelyn looked up, her face somber. "Your shirt."
"What about it?" Frowning, Neko crossed her waving arm over the shirt and scooted a few inches away.
"It has the chemical formula for chocolate on it."
Cafei's head snapped up. "What?"
"Right there! It has the formula and the molecule for chocolate!" Evelyn pointed at the shirt design that Neko desperately tried to hide. Cafei followed the pointed finger with her eyes, and sure enough, there were the 'C's and 'N's that made up part of the beloved treat.
Time stood still as the three women looked at each other. One gaze was apprehensive, while the other two were calculating.
Then, as though waiting for some unheard signal, they all moved at once. Neko started backing away in as quick of a crabwalk as possible right when Cafei and Evelyn lunged forward.
"I got her! I got her legs!"
"Gimme that shirt!"
"Get the fuck off me!"
"Ah! No kicking! Stop kicking!"
"Come on! We need to give your shirt to Whee- Hey! No biting!"
"Then let! Go!"
"Ow! Shit! Ratchet!"
Out in the medbay, not even bothering to look up from the workbench he was wiping down, the medic sighed. "Every fraggin' time."
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End A/N: I have no idea what Cafei and Evy's food preferences are except for what's been mentioned in Juxtaposition and other Jux fanfics/fancomics. Whether or not Cafei prefers Doritos or if she hates mushrooms is complete guesswork. Therefore, if I've gotten anything wrong, well, that's what the artistic license is for.
