On Earth as it is in Heaven

Could life get any worse? You're at your boyfriend's funeral on a rainy afternoon, everybody's giving you this pitiful look that makes you feel like you're made of flower petals, and there isn't even a body for them to bury.

No. No, it couldn't get worse than this.

Artemis looks at the coffin with teary eyes. How could this have happened? He was perfect. He was amazing. He didn't deserve this. He was going to go on to be this amazing scientist and hopefully a father. He fought for justice. For peace. For life.

And then just like that, he got it taken away from him.

She stands up with everybody else, reciting endless Our Father's and Hail Mary's. But she's not thinking about the way that the Mass is almost over and everybody is saying things about how much of a wonderful friend and family member Wally was. All she can think about is flaming red hair, cheesy pick-up lines, and that giant smile he would get whenever she kissed him. God, She misses kissing him.

She wishes she could have one more day with him. They'd go to Paris. That was the last place they kissed. It had always seemed like such a magical place to her, and she would have loved to go on a non-mission related trip there. Like on her honeymoon with Wally. Her dead boyfriend. Suddenly the thought of the City of Lights makes her want to throw up.

You kind of look at things in a new perspective when something as tragic as this happens.

"Artemis," A voice says from behind her, and somebody puts their hand on her shoulder. She smiles. Wally, she thinks. But when she turns around, it feels as if her smile is being bitch slapped off of her face. Instead of red, there's black. And instead of that deep green color that she loves so much, there's a light blue.

"Conner," She says, somewhat disappointed. Wally's gone, Artemis. He's not coming back. She can't believe she's telling herself this. If their situations were reverse, Wally never would have given up hope. He would have searched the whole universe, tried anything just to get her back. And here she is, just accepting the fact that he's gone for good.

"We're the only ones left," Conner says, gesturing to the empty church. She nods her head and lets him lead her out to his car where he starts driving her to Rudy and Mary's house. She stares out the window, watching the city go by and millions of raindrops fall on the glass.

"Listen, I know that I wasn't as close to him as you were," Conner begins. She just makes this sound in response that says 'duh'. She's too heartbroken to come up with a retort. "But that doesn't mean that I don't miss him as much as you do," She's about to yell at him that there's no way in Hell when he continues. "We were all a team. We knew him just as much as you did. He was our best friend, too. And he would have wanted us to get over it,"

"You don't know how it feels, Conner!" She shouts. "We were going to spend the rest of our lives together! We were going to get married and start a family! Don't you dare tell me that you know him the way I do!" No matter how much she tries, she just can't bring herself to talk about him in the past tense.

Conner doesn't respond. He just parks in the Wests' driveway and hands Artemis an umbrella so she won't get totally soaked by the rain. Not that it'll help. She's cried so much over the last week that she could make a swimming pool out of tears.

"Just send them my condolences, okay?" He says before she gets out of the car and he drives off.

Things are surprisingly lively in the West household. Kind of ironic, really. But everybody's talking and laughing and hugging. As if this were a Christmas party instead of a gathering to mourn somebody. She guesses it's just their way of coping. But Artemis doesn't get how they can do it. Their son just died and Mary and Rudy are smiling at everybody. She knows it must be fake, but Artemis doesn't even have the energy to fake it. That just shows how weak she is. She's always been good at dealing with tragedy—her childhood was full of it—but when she finally thought that she was going to get past that and she'd be starting a new life with Wally, he disappeared. His parents are strong enough to put up an act of high spirits, but she…well, she might as well have died with him. And she does socialize with his family. She tries to smile and laugh and pretend everything is okay like the rest of them do. But deep down, she knows she'll never be happy again.

"Everybody just seems too calm, huh?" She recognizes Barry's voice. Artemis has been sitting out here on the porch for at least half an hour now. She just couldn't take anymore of the cheery atmosphere.

"How can people be so happy about somebody's death?" Artemis mutters. "He had his whole life ahead of him."

"Look, this is just as hard for all of us as it is for you," That's the second time she's heard that today. They just don't seem to get it. Conner has M'gann, Mr. and Mrs. West have each other, Barry has Iris, and now even Tim and Cassie have each other to turn to for comfort. But Artemis has no one. People just can't seem to grasp the fact that Wally was the only person she's ever loved. "But we all know that he's happy up in Heaven." Artemis laughs bitterly.

"You seem so sure about that. And what if Heaven doesn't exist? What if there is no afterlife and every thought, moment, and breath Wally ever had is just gone?"

"Artemis…"

"There wasn't even a body, Uncle Barry," She started calling him that a long time ago. She just assumed that it would eventually happen through marriage. The world is so cruel to prove her wrong. "How do we know his spirit didn't disintegrate, too?" Her mind flashes back to five years ago. That simulation that everybody thought was real. How she had 'died' from an alien invasion in the arctic. And that's exactly what happened to Wally. Except there was no coma. There was no waking up to see that everybody was okay. This actually happened. And there's no way to get him back.

Artemis sighs. While so much had gone wrong the day of the simulation, so much had gone right, too. That night, Wally had come into her room while everybody else was sleeping and admitted that after she had died, he thought he was going insane. That was the night Artemis first realized that she might actually like that idiot. That was the night that they first kissed. They dated in secret for a while, until Wally finally got the guts to go public on New Years. And from there, everything seemed perfect.

But perfection's overrated.

"Artemis, you and I both know you don't believe that. He was a good kid. We all know that he went to Heaven and we all know that he's living a good life up there. And we all know that when we do see him again, we'll be so much happier than we ever were here on Earth." She lets that sink in for a second. If there is a God, and there is a Heaven, then Wally is definitely up there with Him. He'll live forever in a perfect place with no crime and no alien invasions.

For the first time in a week, she actually allows herself to smile just a little bit. Maybe one day she'll be reunited with him. She'll get to start an eternal life with him and have a perfect, immortal family. There will be no more pain and no more loss.

Maybe they'll finally get to see Paris together.