I don't think I'll ever get over what happened in Endgame. So I've started writing instead.

This is set three years after the snap while Nat is looking after the compound (and the whole team). It'll be a two-parter and I have the other bit almost ready, but would love to hear your thoughts.

Obviously I own nothing - If I did, I'd have changed a few things (so I didn't have to cry every time I think about it!).

Enjoy!


The sound of darkness

Most people are unaware of the sounds that lurk in the night. The scratching of an animal just outside the window or the creak of a floorboard as a pipe cools. The soft thumps and groans of a building that occur naturally while the inhabitants sleep, oblivious to the melody that comes with darkness.

But not Natasha Romanoff.

Nat was familiar with the sounds that arrived when the room darkened, her only source of light coming from the computer screen on her desk that emitted a continuous blue glow. It was rare for her to manage more than a few hours of sleep each night, which gave her plenty of time to listen.

She knew how the compound breathed.

Despite the fact that the building had well over thirty different rooms she always seemed to find herself in the same one. Each night was spent sat in front of her computer screen in the vain hope that there would be a call from one of the team with the miracle solution they had been looking for. But most nights, like this one, ended up with Natasha asleep at her desk, her legs propped up on the table and chin on her shoulder.

She only ever woke up when she got too cold and usually decided to stay awake rather then find the comforts of her own bed. She couldn't remember if she has even pulled back her bedsheets in the last year.

Natasha blinked awake with a shiver and rubbed her eyes until her screen came into focus.

Her stomach tightened slightly as she noticed the small flashing light displayed on the control panel that indicated a new message from one of the team. She had had plenty of time to work out how to use Tony's elaborate computer system and yet she still didn't know why the little light made her apprehensive after all this time. She couldn't bare the thought of it being more bad news.

Part of her still expected the message to be a video from Peter, his mischievous smile flashing up on her screen just to tell her about a new feature he'd found in his spider suit. Peter had never quite understood that when they weren't out saving the world it didn't mean that they just hung around the compound having fun. So whenever he got bored after school and Tony was too busy for him to annoy, he would send Nat a message.

Her favourite had been when Peter had found the web wings feature on his suit and sent her a live video of himself jumping off a roof to test them out. He had soared straight through an open window and landed on top of the resident cat, sending it darting around the apartment knocking over everything in its path. Tony had paid to repair the damages.

But Nat hadn't seen Peter in over three years.

Three years, two months and thirteen days since the snap, and yet she still expected to see him skip across the compound on his way to annoy Tony or confuse Thor with his latest technology.

Nat swallowed the lump in her throat and wiped her eyes with the back of her sleeve. Tony. Thor. Banner. Steve… They had all survived the snap and yet she hadn't seen them in months. The compound used to be full of life and now there was no one. Not even Clint.

She saw more of the raccoon than anyone else.

Nat checked the time on her phone and groaned. 5:37am.

Falling asleep at her desk was starting to take its toll. There was a time she could dodge a bullet whilst simultaneously taking down a fully grown man but now she was starting to doubt her abilities. This wasn't how she had ever expected to retire.

Which is why she refused to give up. The Avengers may have been scattered across the country (or much further, no one had heard from Thor in over a year) but she wouldn't stop until she knew that they had exhausted every possibility of getting everyone back.

She owed it to those they had lost to keep trying.

When Tony had returned to earth, exhausted and angry, he had told them what happened when Thanos arrived for the time stone. How Steven Strange had handed it over willingly in return for Tony's life. And yet the guilt of the agreement had left Tony broken and hurting like Nat had never seen him before.

He refused to believe there was a reason Strange had handed over the stone, but Nat didn't. She couldn't. She had to hold on to the belief that in handing it over he knew that the snap could somehow be reversed.

If only she could get the others to listen.

Nat stretched out her tired arms and felt an ache in her left shoulder. The old bullet wound had never really fully healed, and some days she was sure she could still feel the Soviet slug nestled under her collarbone. It was impossible, of course, but all these years later the injury from Bucky still caused her issues if she had spent too long at the shooting range.

Which is where she had spent the majority of the previous day. Before falling asleep at her desk she had spent nearly four hours firing bullet after bullet into the faceless body silhouettes that hung at the other end of the shooting range, each one finding exactly where the intended.

When she closed her eyes she was sure she could still hear the gun shots reverberating off her surroundings despite the large ear-defenders she had worn.

Four hours shooting practice (not that she needed it), three in the gym taking her frustration out on a punch bag and an extra three in the yard with one of Clint's bows. She had propped up a hay bail as a target and took great satisfaction in painting the wrapping purple so she could watch the coating rip apart when her arrow made contact.

Nat was exhausted and yet she refused to properly sleep.

She had worked out years ago that exhaustion played havoc with her mental state and if she stopped for too long things would only get worse. Not that she would admit that to anyone.

She checked the time again and decided on a shower. If she timed it right she could sit on the porch and watch the sun rise as her hair dried.


By 9am Natasha had checked all forms of communication with the team and found nothing other than an email from Rocket containing a photo of a giraffe and the caption 'What is this?!". She didn't want to think about how or why he was in the vicinity of a giraffe, but sent him a wiki link as an explanation and strict instructions to leave it alone.

She had just sat down at her desk with her morning peanut butter sandwich when the light on her screen started flashing. She waved her hand and the Rhodey's hologram appeared in front of her.

"Morning Nat," he smiled, nodding in her directions. "How's things?"

"Oh you know, as exciting as always."

Rhodey paused, not quite sure how to continue, and Nat noticed.

"What've you got?" She asked quickly.

"Not much. There have been reports of unusual activity just over twelve miles from the compound," he spoke quickly, glad of the distraction. "Could be nothing. Probably is nothing. But there's something throwing off higher than expected gamma signals and we thought it best to get it checked out."

"Thanks, Rhodey."

"I think Okoye might be around to-"

"No, I'll go," Nat interrupted, trying not to make it too obvious that she was desperate to leave the compound. "Like you said, it's probably nothing and it's not far from here."

"Ok," Rhodey smiled. "But be careful and let me know if you find anything. Otherwise, status update tomorrow?"

"Sure," Nat nodded.

Rhodey switched off his hologram and disappeared.

She stood alone again, the hum of the compound suddenly deafening. She had to get out.

She could – should – go on her own. The likelihood that the this was anything other than a false reading due to a new group of vandals was unlikely, but she was tired of being alone day after day. The same radio silence from the outside world no matter how desperately she searched for answers.

Answers to a question she was beginning to think could never be answered.

She picked up her phone and twisted it around in her hands, her eyebrows furrowed and focused.

It was a bad idea. His inevitable decision would only make her feel worse and yet there was a part of her that didn't care.

She was used to disappointment.

She was used to being alone.

She decided to call him anyway and was surprised when he picked up on the second ring.

"Bruce, it's Nat."

"I know, your name comes up on my phone," she could almost imagine the grin on his lips and found herself smiling in return.

"Oh yeah-"

There was a pause while she considered her next words. There was still time to pretend this was just a casual call to catch-up. He didn't have to go with her. Then again, she couldn't remember the last time she had called anyone just to chat.

Or the last time someone had called her other than their scheduled mission reports.

"So, how's it going with the other guy?" She asked despite knowing the answer. Bruce had locked himself in his lab long ago with the sole purpose of finding a way to bring back the Hulk, convinced that he would be needed if they were to find a way to reverse the snap.

After fighting for so long to control the anger that lived inside the Hulk he now welcomed it. He craved it.

She couldn't tell if it was desperation or naïvety that kept Bruce going but Nat knew how much he was struggling. Bringing back the Hulk was his way of coping. Just like Steve's was helping at support groups and Clint's – well, she didn't want to think about what Clint had been doing. Or what her own coping mechanism had become.

"It's going fine," Bruce responded, the strain evident in his voice. "If by fine you mean he still refuses to make an appearance."

"Still no green, huh?"

"Still no green."

There was another pause and Natasha knew if she didn't ask him now she never would.

"Listen, Bruce. You can say no, and that would be absolutely fine, but Rhodey's just called in a suspicious gamma reading not far from here, and I was wondering if you wanted to check it out with me?"

Pause.

"I mean, I know you're busy in the lab and it's probably just a bunch of abandoned microwaves or something-" she continued, trying to sound as off-hand as possible.

"They wouldn't give off a high gamma detection," Bruce interrupted.

Nat smiled. She knew that already.

"Oh. Well, as I said, it's probably nothing. And if you're busy-"

"Nat, I'd love to."

She had prepared herself for him to say no. Now she was stumped.

"Great," she could hear the strangeness in her own voice as she tried to hide her surprise. "Meet you out front in a half hour? I'll drive. Rhodey's sent coordinates."

"See you then," Bruce hung up before she had the chance to say any more.


He looked different somehow as he strode across the tidy driveway towards the compound. He was thinner, tired, with a few extra grey hairs. Nat wondered if he thought the same of her.

She game him a quick hug and threw him her phone.

"You're in charge of directions," she smirked. She wasn't in the mood for long reunions and lengthy conversations about how they were feeling. She wanted a day of normality, if that were even possible.

"Yeah, sure," Bruce answered as he clumsily fumbled with her phone and followed after her towards the awaiting sports car. "Do we know what this place is?"

"Nope," Nat called back. "This will be a surprise for both of us."

Nat was more surprised that they managed to find the right location with Bruce's directions. After many disagreements and a few 'you're a scientist, you should know your left from your right's later, the little dot on Nat's phone indicated that they had found the right place.

"This is it?" Bruce questioned as he looked out the window towards a derelict four story hotel. The building had clearly been abandoned for years and stripped for parts long ago. There wasn't a single window left intact and thick cracks ran the length of one side, top to bottom.

"Apparently so," Nat shrugged. "Come on, lets have a closer look."

She was out of the car and walking across the overgrown grass before Bruce had even taken his belt off.

"Nat, wait," he ran to catch up and took a hold of her arm, stopping her in her tracks. Other than their quick hug outside the compound, she couldn't remember the last time she had felt human contact. Her heart ached slightly at the thought but she pushed it aside.

He returned her mobile and ran a hand through his scruffy hair.

"Is this a good idea?"

"Bruce, it's an old hotel," Nat frowned, glancing in the direction of the building. "What's the worst that could happen?"

"We find a group of angry vigilantes inside with a floor full of powerful weapons, ready to kill anyone who gets close," he spoke quickly before throwing in "just as an example."

"Or," Nat drew out the word and fixed him with a determined glare. "It's empty. And that false reading can be scratched off as nothing to worry about."

"Yeah," Bruce frowned, tilting his head as he considered her words. "But since when has that ever been the case?"

Nat laughed.

"I don't know if you've noticed, Bruce. But the world is a little quieter these days," she smiled sadly and turned away again before her composure broke.

There was a tingle in her fingertips as they grew closer, as if they were searching for her gun, but she left it tucked safely in her back pocket. The hotel was silent.

Her training seemed to kick in as soon as they reached the entrance to the hotel and a sense of calm washed over her shoulders. If she treated this like any other mission then she would be fine, even if there was nothing to find.

After a sweep of the outside, Bruce following behind silently as they walked the perimeter of the building, they stopped by the front door and looked up.

"There's no one here," she announced but Bruce looked uncertain.

"How can you be sure?"

Nat shrugged.

"Call it a hunch. Come on, lets go in."

"No, no, no," Bruce moved and stood between Nat and the front door. "We're not going in to a four story building on the verge of collapse because you have a hunch that there is no one inside."

Nat frowned.

"Fine," she said shortly. "You stay here then. But I'm going in."

"Natasha, please."

There was something about the way he spoke her name that always stopped her in her tracks. It had done for years and still frustrated her.

She took a breath and smiled as best she could.

"I'm not going back to the compound without having a look," she told him, leaving no room for argument. "You can stay out here and keep a lookout if you want, but I'd really like it if you came in with me. If there's anything suspicious we leave right away and call for backup."

Bruce considered her words carefully before slowly nodding.

"Ok," he said. "But first sign of anything odd and we're out of there."

"Agreed," Nat responded and pushed open the front door before he had a chance to even think about changing his mind.

The inside was as dusty and damaged as she had expected. Every wall had been stripped of anything of value, leaving gaping holes between rooms and scattered ceiling tiles across the ripped up carpet.

But the building remained silent.

"Nat, there's no one here. Lets go."

"And what about the gamma reading?"

"Like you said, it's probably nothing," Bruce was spinning on the spot, eyeing up the potential dangers.

"Are you afraid, Bruce?"

"No!" He answered a little too quickly.

"Good," Nat smiled. "Then let's check the basement. If there's one thing I've learnt, you never find anything suspicious on the top floor."

She left no room for argument as she headed for the door that led to the stairs.

"I don't think there's much of upstairs left anyway," Bruce was still looking up through a hole in the ceiling from which you could just make out the floor above.

As you would expect, the basement was dark and cold. Nat switched on the torch on her phone and let the dim glow illuminate the damp walls. Bruce followed suit.

The light immediately reflected off shining metal.

"I think we've found the source," Nat stated as she shone the light around the room. "Look at this stuff."

"What is all this?" Bruce asked in amazement.

"Chitauri guns. Ultron blasters. There are weapons here that I haven't seen in years," Nat answered as she run a hand over the cold metal handle of an assault rifle. "Where did they all come from?"

Bruce frowned.

"I don't know, but none of this would explain-"

He stopped as his eyes fell on a pile of misshapen metal in the corner of the room.

"It that- is that a gamma cannon?" Bruce suddenly seemed intrigued as he crossed the room to examine it closer.

"I think it might be part of a gamma cannon," Nat smirked but Bruce was already inspecting the machinery in great detail.

"These were supposed to have been destroyed over sixty years ago," Bruce turned to Nat, his torch light falling across her face. "How did it get down here?"

"It looks like this one is pretty destroyed too, Bruce."

"Yes, but it's here. It exists. Mostly."

"Would this explain the gamma readings?" Nat asked and Bruce nodded enthusiastically.

"Oh yeah, this is it," he grinned again.

"Please don't tell me you want to take this back to the lab," Nat almost moaned. "That thing looks heavy."

Bruce laughed again.

"I think someone has been collecting these," he stated. "Look. All the weapons are lined up around the edge of the room like they're on display in a museum. I think whoever has found all these things has been hiding them down here, as if in storage."

"I haven't seen some of these weapons since Sokovia," Nat frowned. "How did they end up here."

"A serious collector would probably transport them across the country if they wanted them that badly."

"And left them in the basement of an old hotel with no security?" Nat asked sceptically.

"Like you said," Bruce shrugged. "The world is a lot quieted these days. Who would go looking in here on a whim."

Nat directed her phone around the room and suddenly noticed the sheer number of weapons that lined the walls. Firearms, cannons, tasers. Every weapon you could imagine seemed to be in the basement in one form or another.

"We need to get these out of here. If they were to fall in the wrong hands-" Bruce stated as he lay his own hand down on top of one of the weapons a little harder than intended.

A sudden light filled the room as the weapon activated, sending a flash of blue light across the room and blasting a three foot hole in the wall opposite, narrowly avoiding Natasha in the process.

"What was that you were saying about the wrong hands?" Nat laughed nervously as Bruce stood in shock.

"I didn't think it was activated!"

Nat grinned as she opened her mouth to throw him another casual insult but stopped at the sound of a thud above their heads.

She felt her heartbeat quicken as the ground beneath her feet began to tremble and her eyes instantly glanced at the roof above their heads. They were in the basement. And if the building was unsteady before, that was nothing now that Bruce had inadvertently blasted its foundations.

Bruce steadied himself, his eyes finding hers.

'It can't end like this,' Natasha thought to herself as she spotted the fear in Bruce's eyes. Not after everything they had gone through over the years.

She cursed herself at the thought of having led them into danger just to prove to herself that she still had a purpose outside of the compound. She had put one of the greatest minds on the planet in danger, one of the only people who had half a chance of finding a way to bring everyone back, all because she had been lonely.

"Banner," her voice was calm. Controlled. Years of training having erased all trace of uncertainty.

"Yeah?"

"Run!"

They headed for the stairs in the semi-darkness, taking two at a time until they reached the ground floor. But the entrance looked nothing like when they had arrived. The dusty hallway now resembled a war-zone, the previous hole in the ceiling now exposing thick metal beams. The partitioning wall from above had fallen straight through and blocked the exit completely.

'Well, that explains the bang,' Nat thought. The building was collapsing in on itself.

She could see Bruce ahead, clumsily stepping over fallen bricks and debris, the rubble crumbling at his feet. But he was moving fast and towards one of the broken windows just visible across the entranceway.

Before he paused to look back at her.

"Go!" Nat shouted, waving her arms in his direction. "Keep running!"

His eyes grew wide.

"Nat-!"

But it was too late. Nat turned in time to see the heavy steal beam break away from the ceiling above her and swing in her direction, colliding with the side of her body and knocking her hard to the ground.

She felt the hot, sticky blood instantly run down the side of her cheek, the ring in her ears deafening.

That one hurt.

'Get up,' she told herself, her body heavy and uncooperative as she tried to focus. 'Get up. Get moving.'

But she couldn't. Couldn't focus, couldn't move. Her breath caught in her chest as she tried to inhale, her head splitting with every movement as she listed to the building slowly collapse around her. All air had been knocked from her lungs, each gasp for breath sending an ache through her body as every cell screamed for oxygen.

"Get up!" She shouted to herself and was sure the words left her mouth.

The world was loud, crumbling, but above it all she heard his voice.

"Nat!"

'Damn it Banner, you were supposed to keep running.'

She blinked hard, managing to focus on her surroundings. She was looking up at where there was once a ceiling and could see the floors above. All three of them.

There was another loud crash and, as if in slow motion, she watched as the building began to collapse in on itself and cascade towards her. No matter how much she tried to force herself she couldn't make her body move as she struggled to keep her eyes open.

Rogers would be so pissed off when he found out she had taken Bruce with her, just to get him killed.

"Bruce, get out of here!" She managed to shout, her lungs aching with every word.

They were on the ground floor. Bruce still had a chance of escaping. The possibility was low but that guy never ceased to amaze her.

There was another loud bang as the floor shook and she threw her arms across her face to brace herself for the impact.

At least it would be quick.

The darkness came with a roar as the building collapsed around her.