Have fun reading, please enjoy. Obviously these are not my characters. Much Love - Your Author

Jake POV

I hated watching Bella have her person defined by Edward, she deserves the identity she gives herself, a luxury we all deserve. And I can give it to her. I can give her a life where she doesn't feel the need to be defined by a man, or a thing. She can define herself, and I will simply be there to support and love her the way she deserves, but she never sees it. She never has, and she probably never will.

So what do I get in return for loving and treating her the way she deserves? Nothing but rejection. Is that a price I actually want to pay? The step it would take to cross the line of just friends could push her away forever. If I succeeded I could hold her the way I was supposed to, but if I didn't succeed, she would never be in arms again at all. And I couldn't lose her completely.

Complete resignation to eternal torture is one of the worst things ever. I am the addict and she is the drug, and I have to stop taking it but have to look all the time just to make her happy. And Lord knows that I want her to be happy, even if it isn't with me. I think that is what real love is. Real love is giving up yourself for someone else. Willing to let someone go and be happy with someone else just cause you really want them to be happy no matter what that means. My phone rings and pulls me from my thoughts. I sit up from my bed and turn my eyes from the ceiling. "Hello?"

"Jake! Hey, it's me."

"Bells, hey what's up?" I sigh internally. Please come over, just say you love me. Please say I am enough. Please say he means nothing. Please.

"I am really bored and I was just hoping you wanted to do something today."

"Yes!" Don't sound so excited damn it. I clear my throat and proceed extra calm. "Yes, is there anything you want to do, I was really just gonna end up in the garage all day, I don't really have any plans. We should go eat if you haven't. I haven't eaten and it's already about to be noon."

"Sounds good. I will meet you in the garage in about twenty minutes. Bye Jake."

"Bye Bella." The tone starts. "I love you." I whisper out but the only one who hears me is the wind. I stand and get dressed to meet Bella.

Bella POV

"Stop leading him on Bella." I whisper to myself as I step out of the shower and the cold air hits my body causing me to shiver. I know he likes me, and the truth is I like him too.

Reality though is an entirely different likes to hit hard and it hits suddenly. It finds pleasure in stealing hope and replacing it with truths you ignore. The reality is, I do love Edward, I think. But he left me. You do not do that to someone you love. You do not leave them to die as you walk away breathing just fine. And every time I am with Jacob I feel safer than I ever did with Edward. He only made me feel protected from people or things, but never made me secure in my thoughts about him. Never promised to not leave, never promised me his feelings were real or reassured me or made me feel valid.

Jake does. He protects me from doubts and irrational fears and from people and things. So while some part of me hangs onto Edward, Jacob makes me question if I ever even loved that vampire at all. I love the warmth Jake provides, I love everything about him. And he loves me too. But I just feel scared. Cause the truth is, I feel scared of my feelings for him. Stronger than I felt for Edward which I thought was not possible. So I treat Jake like I do not love him because I am too scared to admit that I care about him more than I have for anything else or anyone else.

I need to get going. It has already been fifteen minutes and it takes me about ten to get there. I do not want to leave him waiting.

"Jake!" I shout. I walk away from the red truck and towards the boy in the open garage.

"Hey honey!" He smiles at me and the grease on his shirt is apparent. "I wasn't planning on doing anything in here, but then Quil told me his car broke. I'll go change and we can get some food." I nod.

"It's cool. I can wait." He smiles and wipes his hands on a towel before turning and walking inside.

Jake POV

"Act normal, everything is normal." I say it once out loud and repeat it in my mind like a mantra that will help me in remaining the role of best friend and not a boy with a desperate crush. I am standing in front of the old wooden door, the only thing separating me and the garage. I am simply here to remind myself to not just kiss her. It sounds so stupid but i believe it may also have to do with the wolf in me. I simply sigh and open the door. "Let's go, I am fucking starved."

"Pizza sound good?" She closes the door to her car in the passenger, after I insisted I drive. It helps me to have something to focus on, so I don't end up staring at Bells the whole way.

"Great! We can head into the city if you want and make a day of it."

She hums in agreement and I feel her look at me. Okay now she is simply staring. I don't want to interrupt her. I love that she wants to stare at me, a bit of an ego boost to be honest. And it also makes me feel as though I am not the only one who likes to stare at the other person in this small car. Focus, drive, focus.

Bella POV

"Great! We can head into the city if you want and make a day of it." I hum in agreement to his suggestion and take the opportunity to simply stare at him.

He seems so much more at ease now, and it finally hits me that all the time he looks more tense. Worrying about his pack or vampires or whatever threats and problems he faces that day. I love this boy. This man. His jaw loosens as if he can hear my thoughts and he moves one of his hands from the wheel to the gear stick as we continue past the forest. The warmth he gives off can be felt even when I am on the other side of the car. The shadows from our surroundings surround his face so well and he just looks so perfect right now. So natural. It's the moments like this that I forget about Edward.

Edward. I tear my eyes away and think of him again with a sigh. He doesn't love you. I scold myself mentally. It scares me that I love Jake. Like I am betraying the one who left me, when really he betrayed me more than I ever could.

"Hello, Bella, you there?" Jake asks with a chuckle and I snap my gaze back to him.

"Sorry, what?"

"I just said it's nice to finally have a little sun for a change and that we should maybe head to the beach tonight."

"Oh! Yeah sorry. No that sounds great."

"What are you thinking about over there?" His voice is concerned ad almost timid. Like he is worried about the answer. I want to say "you" but the words just don't come out.

"Nothing important." I smile at him and he takes a quick look off the road to see me.

"Right, well, I am hungry and the drive is killing me, you don't still happen to have that candy in the glove box, do you?"

"Oh my God I totally forgot about that!" I exclaim and we both laugh as I pull out candy from who knows how long ago.

Jake POV

"Best day ever!" Bella squeals as we exit her old red truck and head towards the house.

"Good. I am glad you liked it." We spent all day in the city, ate, watched a movie, got ice cream, went to a candy shop, and ate again. I plan on taking her to the beach soon as it is getting towards the night time. "You're still down for the beach right?" I ask and she nods like a little kid who just got rewarded. This is the Bella I know, the happy lights up the room Bella. Who loves candy and walks on the beach and sun. This is what I love. Not the broken shell the damn bloodsucker left behind. Leech.

I can feel my face start to show some of that complete and total hatred I have and try to get myself in check before she notices, but she notices. "You okay?" She looks at me with concern and lays her small hand on my shoulder. Her pale skin is a stark contrast from my tan native skin, but I love that about her too.

"Yeah, let's go to the beach." I try to smile with convincingly. I point ahead and throw my hands in my pockets for the stroll we have to get to La Push.

"So what was really going on back there? You can tell me anything Jake." Not anything, I think and look at her. Her face holds nothing but concern and care, the thought of her caring for me makes a smile come to me.

"Honestly, it's nothing. " I look over at the waves as they roll onto the sand. It's getting chilly, and I know she is feeling it from the occasional shiver. We are sitting on the sand next to each other enjoying the darkness and the stars in the sky.

"Come here, you're freezing." I open my arms and she moves herself into my lap having me wrap my arms around her and she hums contently.

"You are so warm it's wonderful." She says and I feel her snuggle into me more.

"Yeah, I am pretty hot huh?" She catches the double meaning and makes the effort to look at me so I can see her roll her eyes. But when she has all she does is stare at me like she is in deep thought with only questions running through her mind. All I can do is stare back with the ghost of a smile, I know I am trapped now. I could just lean forward and- stop. Stop it Jake, she doesn't like you.

"You're kinda perfect, you know that?" She whispers. Suddenly it's gone. Everything is. All that is left is her. No noise no waves no stars nothing. Just her voice.

"Honey you're ten times better." I stare at her lovingly and wait for her next move. But nothing comes. Instead I find myself staring at her lips. Eyes, look at her eyes. I try to catch them but instead they are staring at my mouth, so I lean in. And she doesn't even try to stop me. In fact, she's kissing me back. In fact, now she is on my lap. In fact, we are totally making out right now. And she is perfect.

"Damn." She whispers as she pulls back and then turns a deep shade of red. All I can do is laugh a little. This is my Bella.

"I lo-" Not the time, right? But will there ever be a time?

"I know." She smiles at me ever so faintly and kisses me short and sweet. "I love you too."

That's a wrap folks! Leave a comment with thoughts, good or bad. Have a great day, much love - your author.