AN: You can leave your socks on. (Hey, quoi? Thought that was funny 8D )

The girls bring Hungary to a strip club for her birthday. For some epic reason, America, England and France find themselves on the stage and the show starts. One Shot. Rated M for hot guys and striptease.

Yeaaahhoooo!

Enjoy, gals! (and guys!) ;p


"No. No boys in this house."

Belarus was standing in front of Prussia and Austria in the doorframe.

"Suck it, ugly chick! I am awesome! I will stay in! Prussia protested.

- Niet.

- Doch!

- Niet.

- Doch!

Belarus held out her knife.

- Do you want me to explain?

- KYYYAAAAAHHH!" The boys screamed and slammed the door as quick as they could.

"Target eliminated." Belarus told the girls.

"Awawawawawawawa…" They could hear from the other side of the front door.

It was a private party for Hungary's birthday and it was just for her and her friends Belarus, Ukraine, Belgium, Liechtenstein, Seychelles and Vietnam.

"Cool! What are we doing now? Hungary asked, far away from expecting what her friends had prepared.

- You'll come with us into my car. Belgium winked. It's not very far.

- Where? Hungary went even more curious.

- That's a surprise!"

Hungary did her best to stay patient and jumped in Belgium's large car with the girls.

The car stopped in front of a club all painted in pink and black where lights were illuminating the letters 'BOYS IN SOCKS!' and the mention 'MEN AND PETS NOT ALLOWED!'.

Hungary jaw dropped.

"Gals… Don't tell me…

- Yesss… Vietnam grinned. I was sure you would like it.

- Wow, girls! Thank you! I love you! Hungary exploded.

- You'll thank us after. Seychelles smiled. Shall we go?"


"Are you sure, Tony?"

America was holding his cell phone with a serious face.

"Are you sure we are just above the last piece of your vessel?"

England put his hands into his pockets and let out a long sigh of deep desperation. The longest one since the battle of Boston.

"Forget it, America. Your alien will go back to his damn galaxy by himself.

- He's not an alien, he's my friend Tony!

- Okay, well. His name is Tony. But he's an alien."

"Why are we here?" France asked.

America, England and France were standing on a roof somewhere in town.

"I wonder." England answered.

"Hey! Buddies! America waved at England and France. Tony says it's here, just under us!"

He pointed his index towards a trapdoor with a ladder.

"We take this way and get in!

- Don't we call this a forcible entry? France asked.

- Nobody cares! Haha! I'm the hero! Follow me, guys!

- America! Wait a min- "

But it was too late. America had already disappeared in the building.

"Fait chier… France mumbled.

- My sentiments exactly." England sighed before they followed him.


Inside the club, the lights turned off.

The place was full of girls chatting, chuckling and stamping with impatience.

The show was starting soon.

"Hehe, can't wait to see that!" Hungary giggled.


"America! Where are you going?"

The three guys were crawling in the dark in an unknown territory.

Suddenly the floor crashed and they fell in a noisy place that was so dark that they couldn't see themselves.

"Ouch!

- Fuck!

- Aïeeeuuhh!

- Take your hands off of me, frog!

- That was my foot!

- Hey! Buddies! Where are you? I can't see anything! Where are we?

- I suppose you knew. England grouched while rising up to his feet.

- That's bad! That's scary! America's voice was shaky. Can't you hear all that creepy laughter?

- Oh~ France let out an almost obscene sound.

- What is it, France?

- I'm starting to understand~

- To understand WHAT?"

Suddenly blinding heavy colored spotlights fixed on them and You can leave your hat on started to beat out of the speakers.

BADABAM, BADAM! BADABADAM, BADAM! BADABADAM, BADAM! BADABA BADAM!

They were actually standing on a stage in front of a crowd of crazy and moaning girls. Apparently, they were in a strip club.

The guys were all mortified. All, except France, who seemed relaxed.

"WHAT THE-

- Oops~ France giggled. This is what I was afraid of~" He said while caressing his chin though he didn't look afraid at all.

He started dancing and snapping his fingers. Then he glanced at the audience with a sexy eyebrow raised. And he grabbed his jacket, let it slip over his shoulders and eventually took it off.

"F-France… What the hell are you doing? England blinked.

- Just doing the show." France shrugged with an evil grin.

Baby take off your coat

France put his hands into his long blond hair and moved his hips from right to left.

Real slow

He let his hands slowly go down on his face, then on the collar of his shirt.
'N take off your shoes

He started to undo his shirt, giving quick eyebrows mischievous signs to the audience.
I'll take off your shoes

His shirt unbuttoned, he turned around, turning his back to the fangirls and shooting falsely melancholic looks from behind his shoulder.
Baby take off your dress

He suddenly dropped his shirt down. He smiled again from behind his shoulder to make sure that the audience was enjoying and turned round to face them again.
Yes, yes, yes

He took off his shoes one by one while keeping on dancing.
You can leave your hat on

He grabbed his belt buckle.
You can leave your hat on

He played with his belt while slowly undoing it.
You can leave your hat on

He offered torturing glances to the audience while playing with the opening of his pants, making the girls whining of frustration.
Go over there, turn on the lights

Eventually he lowered his pants, revealing his black boxer shorts with a golden glittering Eiffel Tower on it.
All the lights,

He discarded his pants in a corner of the stage and went on lustfully, dangerously approaching England who was nearly having an attack because of a too high blood pressure.
Come over here, stand on this chair

He went dancing in the back of the poor and sweaty England, then took off his coat and grabbed his chest with naughty looks.
Yes, that's right

Before England had the time to say anything, France started undoing his shirt. But England stopped him. He stopped him but didn't scold. He was even smiling then. Doing crazy things like that were sometimes good.
Raise your arms up in the air

England finished unbuttoning his shirt and made it twirling in the air.
Now shake 'em
He discarded his shirt somewhere in the crowd and did the same for his shoes, not minding where they were flying. Then he turned his back to the audience, doing some ultra sexy belly dancing and moving his bottom back and forth while catching hold of the pole in front of him.
You give me reason to live
You give me reason to live
You give me reason to live
You give me reason to live
Then he rapidly got rid of his pants –which landed on Alfred's shocked face-, not minding about being sweet or romantic.
Sweet darling

In his Union Jack briefs only, he came shaking his body against France's, rubbing his back against his back.
You can leave your hat on

France made a u-turn and turned England over for some arousing zouk dance motions, their bodies sensually rocking together. They were both laughing and sharing looks that were saying 'how the heck can that happen? Fortunately no one knows us here. Big nonsense.'


"Wooo! Those guys are HOT! Belgium yelled. Yeeeeaaahhh baaabyy!

- Yaaaaaaaahhh YAOIII! Hungary squealed in bliss.

- BOOOOYYSSS!

- GO ON, SEXYY!" The fangirls moaned.


France took sensually England's head in his hands and whispered something in his ear, giving a glance to the mortified America who widened his eyes with horror.

You can leave your hat on

England smiled naughtily and turned his head back towards the American.

You can leave your hat on

"No! No… No way…" America whined when England and France both walked towards him, getting closer and closer with scary faces.

England stopped in front of him and slowly removed America's glasses.

You can leave your hat on

"Du-dudes… America's shaky voice said. Buddies… I won't… You wont…-

- I'm afraid that yes you will, my dear… England smirked and America's face turned red.

- But- A- Arthur-

- Do not worry, mon cher~ Said France gracefully while grabbing his t-shirt. We will help you ~"

Alfred held out his breath.

"Relax, just relax. France said, keeping on caressing his t-shirt. Forget the people, listen to the music, and dance! Show your amazing self!"

Suspicious minds are talkin'

France and England re-started dancing, both playing with his t-shirt.

Alfred tried to move awkwardly.

"Thought you were a hero." England smiled, knowing this was the magic word.

They're tryin' to tear us apart

And the magic word was always working.

America put the left hand on France's forehead and the right one on England's and pushed them off of him.

Yeah, he was the damn hero and the only one! He could do it! That was the moment, his moment, for him to shine!

He grabbed his t-shirt and pulled it over his head.

They don't believe in this love of mine

Seeing the girls were encouraging, America's chest got filled with pride.

Yes, he could do it.

And he danced.

He danced hot.

He danced sexy.

There was only him, monopolizing all the attention.

England and France jaw dropped. They felt like left out. Totally.

But they don't know what love is

America was even laughing then.

He removed his shoes, and with one shoe in each hand he raised his arms up and clapped them together.

He was immediately imitated by the crazy crowd with their hands clapping in rhythm.

They don't know what love is

He threw his shoes into the crowd and unbuckled his belt.

They don't know what love is

He opened his pants and pulled them down under the girls' squeals.

They don't know what love is

He dropped his pants on the floor, all the girls got even more insane. Some were even trying to climb on the stage. England and France blinked together. They couldn't believe their eyes.

But I know what love is!

He was wearing an American flag… thong.


Hungary and her friends quit the club quite late in the night. That was a long night.

"That was GREAT, gals! I loved that! Hungary said with delight.

- I've even caught a shoe! Vietnam shouted, holding the right shoe of the American mysterious dancer.

- For sure the first ones were the best!" Seychelles said and all the others agreed.

However, Liechtenstein was pensive.

"This is weird… The tiny shy girl eventually exposed her thoughts. They looked like boys we know…"


AN: Review? 8D

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia, and I don't own You Can Leave Your Hat On!