Sorry if this story fails. It's written practically off the top of my head with no proof reading/editing yet.
Constructive critisism is welcome, but do bear in mind this is incomplete.
I just love the idea of this pairing, ever since i played the game.. so here's what my creativity made... this mush of i don't know what. xD
Oh and italics are thinking, if that's not already obvious. xDD
Yumeji.
Alone.
I feel...empty.
Thanatos...
Death...
Ryoji.
"Minato-kun..."
"...Ryoji?" my eyes fluttered open, and there I saw his face.
"I'm lonely." he said softly. I reached my hand out to his face. He smiled down at me.
Lonely...
So lonely...
"Can't we... become one again?" I whispered, unable to really speak. He just continued to look at me with the same smile.
"Strange..." he said quietly as he moved closer to my face.
"Wh-What are you doing?" I asked.
"I'm doing this because you want it... or maybe it's because I do..." he replied, i looked at him with a pained smile.
"Aren't... they the same..?" I asked.
"Maybe so." he licked my neck and I let out a slight whimper. "What's wrong?" he asked me. I shook my head and smiled a little.
Even now...
I'm so alone...
...because...
...This is all a dream.
He stopped and looked at me, the seconds seemed to last hours.
"Ryoji...Why?" I clung to him tighter.
"You should know why, Minato-kun." he kissed me lightly once more...
I sat up in my bed, finding myself in tears. I should know... I do know... but... he's not the same. I dragged myself up out of my bed to my desk and picked up my Evoker. I held the gun up to the side of my head - and with the sound of glass shattering - I summoned Thanatos - I summoned Death. My eyes remained closed for a moment.
"Death. You, may have been born in my soul... but you're not the same as him." I opened my eyes to see a hand extended to me. "What's this? Consoling me?" I asked, looking at it as I chuckled lightly. The pained smile from my dream spreading across my face one again. I took Thanatos' hand and he vanished. Another thing created from my heart... just like those dreams... just like him... I dragged myself back into my bed, i didn't feel like going to school. I didn't want to see anyone... especially not him.
I guess... In a way... I prefer it... Just like this...
Saihen Genjitsu
I rested, until there was loud banging on the door.
"I'm sorry, it's me, Yukari. Are you alright? You weren't at school today." I stayed silent, but sat up in my bed. "Sorry, I'm coming in." she said, I waited for her; the door swinging open and her form swiftly stepping in. I looked up at her. From the shocked look she had, I could tell my face was pale - and it wasn't surprising considering the night I'd had.
"I'm fine, just feeling a little ill." I said quietly, my expression plain as ever. She seemed to stare long and hard at me.
"I'll tell everyone we're not going to Tartarus tonight." I wanted to object, but with the condition I was in, it made sense. She left after once again telling me to rest. I lay there, silent, just thinking. Maybe I should go and see him tonight... but then... what would that achieve?
"Ryoji..." I breathed, turning over.
Night fell and I awoke from another similar dream. I lie in silence, waiting to hear someone, but there was no sound. So I headed into the hallway; down the stairs and out of the dorm. It wasn't too late, so I had expected one of the seniors to be here - but no. I have to see him.
Ryoji...
The emptiness...
The darkness...
There was rain. A downpour. I didn't own an umbrella, but I didn't care.
Help me... In my heart; a plea for help. My cry or his? Our feelings... aren't they the same?...
I kept up a fast pace, until I was outside his house. I knocked on the door, but there was no answer. I went to knock harder and the door swang open. Had he forgotten to close it properly? I stepped inside; it was pitch black, all except for a small candle and flitting near it - a small butterfly. I walked into the small room. As the breeze followed me, the candle flickered. I caught a glimpse of Ryoji's face. As I stepped closer, I heard a splash. I stepped in something? Water, maybe? I looked down at my feet. It was too dark to tell. I bent down and put a few of my fingers at my feet. It felt warm, which was odd. As I stood back up, I saw. As I came to the realisation of what was in fact on my fingers, lightning struck, his face and body all clearly visible. I heard a small cough.
"R-Ryoji?... Ryoji!" I leapt forward, touching him; caressing his face, his hair. "I'm here. It's me... Ryoji..." I held his face to look at mine. My eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness and the small light of the candle.
"I...I'm so glad... and... I'm sorry..." he whispered.
With one more flash of lightning in the darkly lit room I shot up in the bed. I couldn't help but cry. The pain of these dreams. The pain of the loneliness inside me... the pain of feeling reality slowly slip through my fingers - unable to distinguish the difference between my real life and my dreams...
"Ryoji..."
Rannyuusha
Someone barged into my room. My vision was hazy. Tears were all that filled my eyes.
"Minato. Are you alright?" I couldn't mistake that voice, but it was the last person I needed to see me this way... Akihiko. I continued to cry quietly. "What happened?" he asked, curiosity and panic both detectable in his voice. I rubbed my eyes and looked over to him.
"J-Just a nightmare... sorry if I disturbed you." I smiled weakly and he came over to me, pulling me to my feet and embracing me.
"It's okay, Minato." he said softly. Though it was a strange thing for Akihiko to do, i couldn't deny that his arms around me felt so comforting. I let out a small sigh with a deep breath and Akihiko let go, muttering some words of apology.
"It's fine." I said, smiling a little more genuinely. In the dark, it wasn't very visible, but I was sure I could see a small blush on his face. "No need to be embarrassed." I teased, mainly to please myself, i guess. Akihiko looked away.
"Is this why you weren't at school?" he asked, quite bluntly actually. I stepped back.
"Kinda." I said quietly.
"What does Ryoji mean to you?" I looked wide-eyed at Akihiko.
"W-What? Nothing, rea-"
"You call his name. When you sleep." he folded his arms and looked at me. "Really, what is he to you?"
"He's a part of me, Akihiko-senpai. Imagine losing a part of yourself - not a friend like Shinjiro - and tell me what you'd feel." I said. "You can't can you? Because you don't know how it feels! You could never understand." My voice got quieter towards the end as I turned away.
"Sorry." Akihiko sighed. "I didn't intend to rile you up." he patted me on the head lightly. "Get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning.. for school."
I honestly felt like crying all over again. He hid it, but I knew what i'd said had hurt him. He may have a rough exterior, but he's sensitive... I've come to know that over my time here. Akihiko closed the door and put a hand to his head. Muttering insults directed only at himself as he crossed the hall back to his room.
I headed down the hallway after picking up my bag in the morning. Through the window I noticed Akihiko already leaving, I wasn't suprised. I didn't really expect him to want to go with me like usual.. I walked down the stairs, greeting everyone before heading out to catch the train also. Since really there was no point in sitting around.
I got off at Port Island station, to walk to the school and that's when I saw him. I didn't hope to see him this early. I stopped dead in my tracks when he looked at me. Ryoji... Why did he have to be here now? I closed my eyes, willing any kind of movement from my body, but nothing would happen. I opened my eyes again to see him even closer, walking towards me.
"Good morning, Minato-kun." he said softly. I took a deep breath.
"Morning, Ryoji."
"What's wrong, Minato-kun?" he asked, obviously instantly sensing something wrong.
"Oh. N-Nothing really. Just had a rough night's sleep." I sighed.
"That's not good. I was going to ask if you wanted to stay over at my house, but if you're not sleeping well... it's proba-"
"That's fine." I said. "I'll stay at yours tonight." we walked into homeroom and everything went silent for a moment. I felt a little more at ease with Ryoji around. Though he is here now - he's still the piece i'm missing.
Shinjitsutomukiau
Ryoji bought me back to his home. It was quite a large place and images flashed back into my head of the nightmare i had. Ryoji seemed to notice me vigorously shaking my head.
"You sure you're alright, Minato-kun?" he asked me. I nodded and smiled. As long as I was beside him, things would be okay for now.
We sat down and drank; talking about school, classes and teachers themselves. It was fun and night drew in. The time being carried away. I looked at my watch. 23:59. Ryoji smiled as the time changed. The surroundings turning shades of green, the moonlight becoming a bright yellow- as though it was the sun. I had been up almost 20 hours.. i was beginning to feel the effects.
"Ryoji, i'm tired. I think I'm going to go to sleep now." I said, smiling softly. He nodded and showed me the way to my bedroom. I felt like an idiot for even thinking about asking this. "Do you think... I could stay... In the same room as you?" he let out a small chuckled and took my wrist, pulling me into the room across the hall. He pointed to the large futon in the middle of the room.
"We'll both have to share this one then." he said, smiling cheekily as usual. I didn't mind. We once shared a single body after all... something i longed to go back to.
As soon as my head hit the pillow, I was a goner. Until then.
I felt a warm breath on my neck and I shuddered awake.
"R-Ryoji?" I asked, my tired eyes only just picking up the yellow colour of his scarf.
"Minato-kun..." he said against my neck, planting light kisses there. A tear rolled down my cheek.
"Why are you crying?" he asked, wiping the tear with his thumb as he placed his hands on the sides of my face.
"This is all... just an illusion... a dream..." I gripped his shoulders tightly, willing the dream away, knowing i'd only end up hurt. He moved his face next to my ear.
"There's no difference between dreams and reailty to the one experiencing it. This is... no illusion, Minato-kun." he whispered. I gripped him even tighter.
"Can't we become one again?" I asked the question from the last dream; yet again the only response was a gentle smile. It was like he was keeping the truth hidden to stop me from hurting. I don't think he realises how much more that hurts me... "Ryoji.. answer me." I cried, pulling my face into the crook of his neck.
"No..." he sighed. "We can't, Minato-kun." I felt my whole body tense and anything sane left me as I cried as loud as i could. I couldn't help it. I was going to feel alone like this forever.
"Why? Why... why do I have to be alone?" I clung to him dearly.
"You have another me, Minato-kun."
"THANATOS IS NOT THE SAME! HE'S NOT YOU! He's... not...not... the one... I..." I couldn't finish... I couldn't say the words I wanted to, but Ryoji understood. After all, his feelings... weren't they also my own?
"I know... Minato-kun... But don't say it. It will only make the time when I disappear more difficult... But Minato-kun... there's someone out there who won't let you be alone... you have all those friends..." he spoke so softly to me, even though my cries were threatening to overpower every word.
"No... no one! No one understands! You're a part of me! I need you!"
"I wasn't originally, Minato-kun. You started off without me, you can go on now without me too." I felt something wet hit my cheek. Despite his soft tone, he too was crying.
"Then... Ryoji... I have one request..." I said, holding him close to me.
"Anything... Minato-kun..."
"Let us spend one final night... as one." Ryoji almost choked on his tears, but smiled. He knew exactly what I meant.
Seijou
I awoke without a start for once; with Ryoji's fingers interlaced with mine, his breath on my neck and his body close to me. I smiled against his head. "Ryoji..." I said softly. "Minato... are you alright?" he asked. "It hurts a little... but i'm fine." To be honest, I'd wanted the pain. That image of him inside would be etched into my mind. He picked up his head and looked at me before planting a light kiss on my forehead. I chuckled at the feeling. Eventually we both got up and I headed back to the dorm. I hadn't wanted to leave, but the last night had left me in completion. I was happy, limping down the street. I got back into the dorm and Akihiko was sat in the lounge in his usual red scarf and ivory coloured casual suit. He always seemed to dress smartly. He looked me up and down. "How was your night?" he asked.
"It was pretty good." I said, then remembering what I'd said to him the other night. "Akihiko, I'm so-"
"You've cheered up, Minato. That's good." Akihiko interrupted, he must have known that I was going to apologise. I said nothing more, just nodded with a smile. "I don't know what happened but I'm glad you're feeling better. Want to go to Tartarus tonight?" he asked. I let out a chuckle. "I am feeling a little rusty. I guess we had better."
True to his word, he let everyone know we were going to Tartarus that night. He walked beside me as we approached the tower. How many floors had we made it up again? Who knows, all that mattered was that we pressed on.
As we entered the tower, I felt a rush of unease. Something wasn't right about this place today. I took that as a sign and decided to wander into the velvet room. Igor welcomed me with Elizabeth as usual. They were quite the odd pair, but they were useful to me. With the night I had spent with Ryoji on my mind, I handed him two persona cards. He seemed completely intruged by them. He didn't question me. Everything I did, everything he created would be born from the sea of my very own soul. I watched as the cards raised, fused and a persona appeared - Messiah. I had handed Igor my Thanatos and my Orpheus cards... In that way; in my soul, I felt Ryoji and I were one again. I left after telling Igor that was all I wanted. I had no other persona with me. If I was going to fight, i was going to do it like the rest of my team - with that one special persona.
