Les Mis is not mine and I make no money from it. The Les Mis timeline has no meaning here...


It was just another dull day. Javert stared out the window at the pink lined clouds, waiting for the sun to rise more fully and heat his face. It was just another day where the only company he would get would be those bloody mice that kept squeaking at him, as though he ought to understand what they were saying, or those birds that kept dancing along the windowsill...

If he could be a little faster, he'd cook one of those things on a fire. It would serve them right for taunting him so often with their own freedom while he was stuck in here, and he wanted to eat something more exciting than fish. The dragon was very firm in its duties though, and every time Javert tried to sneak out the castle, there it was...

He desperately wished those bandits had not told him about how there was a murderer up here, and he was keeping a woman hostage. Apparently, the fact that the woman was a whore and the murderer was... well, a violent murderer had meant no one had wanted to bring him to justice. He was a twenty five year old guard though, and he had been forced to go on holiday because he had never had one in the seven years he had been working in the prison.

He had found the woman, a thin and shaking creature called Fantine, who had profusely thanked him. She had scarpered quickly, rather than telling him the murderer was a dragon, and he required at least one human on the grounds at all times. The fucking villagers had not thought that, oh- maybe a rotation system on who was stuck in this place might be nice? Nope... they were idiots...

So, Javert was stuck in a castle, with no company except for numerous fluffy animals that acted as though he was crazy enough to think people could talk to them. He did not know what this said about the previous occupants of the castle, but perhaps it was for the best that he was alone.

The dragon itself could not talk physically, however it was capable of talking to Javert in his mind – 'telepathic speech' as the damn thing constantly insisted, but it didn't seem intelligent enough to take a hint that Javert did not want to be there. If anything, it had been thrilled that Javert was a virgin, having never even gone as far as to touch himself.

Having a dragon happily tell you he was glad no one had gotten into his trousers was never a comfortable conversation. Ever. At all. It was not one Javert ever intended to have again. He had vetoed this topic of conversation. The dragon ended up vetoing discussions on how nice blackbirds were when baked in pies, or how quickly rabbits run, or the time a kitten had made its way onto the grounds and Javert had wanted to put that into some pastry or something... The dragon liked the bloody animals, so topics in that area were off limits.

They still managed to discuss a number of other things. The dragon knew all about how to sew, how to cook wonderful vegetable stews, how to help injured animals... Javert had ended up calling the thing 'Maman', and it had stuck. Javert had tried explaining the law, but as the law only applied to humans then it seemed rather pointless.

Maman Dragon had started up conversations about how he would like a handsome man to come and take Javert's hand in marriage, how they could have the wedding here and fill the house with pretty young children. This led Javert to two conclusions: one, that the people previously here were all simpering fools, and two, that the dragon had not yet gained an understanding of biology.

It turned out the castle had previously been filled with simpering fools, but the dragon was not one of them. The dragon had magic, and if he decided Javert was going to birth children, then Javert was bloody well going to be able to birth children. He just needed the right suitor first. So Javert was stuck listening to Maman Dragon debate whether Javert's suitor should be older or young (Older, for the wisdom and experience, but age didn't matter when the dragon was determined for a happily ever after), what job he should have (some kind of gardener, because the dragon would keep Javert right in the kitchen), how many children they should have (as many as possible) and would likely would have kept making decisions for the nonexistent couple except Javert told the thing he would commit suicide if the topic didn't change.

They had then moved onto different philosophical ideas. Maman Dragon was very much a believer in 'Cogito ergo sum', but Javert had objected that if telepathy existed, and Javert had to listen to the dragon put thoughts into his head all day, then how did he know for sure that his thoughts were his own. 'I think therefore I am' was not an adequate base for the evidence of your own existence around a telepathic dragon.

This then pushed them into discussions on 'what reality is'. They decided that they had covered only independent thought exists earlier, regardless of who the independent thought belonged to. So they discussed was it possible for everything to be an illusion. This certainly was possible, that nothing here truly existed, and it was all imaginary. The problem in this area was, again, thought. They at least had to have something to be able to think, even if they could not disprove the idea that what exists around them was not real.

They moved into whether there was just one thinking being, or if there were many. Maman Dragon said he could hear many voices, sometimes too distant to hear actual words, but they were always there. Javert had claimed they could be parts of his own mind he was hearing, still pretty certain in his belief that anyone who stayed here too long went crazy. Maman Dragon insisted he would be able to tell the difference, and that he knew he had never had, or even imagined, some of the things Javert had seen in Toulon Prison. Again... the occupants had been simpering fools...

The idea that several telepathic people existed and that they could converse was not particularly strange to Javert. He still believed in reality, even if they were just discussing it, because how could several telepathic beings all experience the same laws of reality as each other. Would it be a coincidence? Everything that is thrown up must fall back down... Yet, how is it if there was no reality that this was not true for everyone.

It had been one evening, while they had been fiercely discussing this that someone came across them. Maman Dragon told him that he hoped it was a suitor, but he would have to check if the man was worthy first. Javert had called back that he was no princess, and that he did not need some motherly dragon telling him who to have sex and make babies with.