Although we have been in Morning Musume together for four years, I'm still unsure if Yossie sees me sometimes. Ever since we both joined Morning Musume together, I have been in love with Yossie, but so many times I swear she looks at every one in the room but me. And now, Kago-chan and I are about to leave Morning Musume and I won't be able to tell her how I feel for her. I wish I could just tell her how I feel but I'm scared as to how she would react. I may not seem like it but I am actually a very shy person who gets scared very easily.

I tell myself that she won't hate me for telling her my feelings but I just don't believe myself. When I first heard the rumor that Yossie and Ishikawa-chan were dating I was heart-broken until Yossie told me that it was "just a silly rumor" and that she and Ishikawa-chan are "just close friends" like me and Kago-chan. When she told me that, I thought that she returned my feelings and wanted me to know that she hasn't hooked up with anyone else until I found out that she was telling all the members that.

As I stood there on stage for my graduation, I knew it was time for me to say "Good-bye" to my life's one true love. Once again my tears wouldn't stop, but that time, I didn't want them to. I wanted Yossie to see tem, give me a hug, wipe away my tears, and tell me, "It'll be okay, Non-chan. I'm going to be here for you no matter what."

But I knew that she wouldn't. She just gave me a quick hug to get it over with so she wouldn't end up crying. That's how she always acts at someone else's graduation. Although I wish that I could have remained in her arms forever, I knew that she'd have to leave me alone and that she isn't mine to keep.

But then I had gathered some courage so I could whisper softly as Yossie pulled away from me, "Aishiteru" and planted a soft kiss on her cheek. Without pausing or hesitating in the slightest, Yossie simply smiled and mouthed back, "I know."

'She knows!' I thought. 'She knows and isn't trying to avoid me? Maybe she returns my feelings! Wait, how long has she known? Maybe she found out a while ago and was grossed out at first but has adapted to knowing that I'm in love with her. That's probably the true case. She hates me secretly but has learned to keep it hidden and wanted to wait to hear from me what my feelings are and let me down politely.'

I went through the rest of the concert trying to figure out what Yossie's intentions (if she has any) could be. 'Does she love me back or does she hate me but wants to try and act like she doesn't?'

In the end though, it didn't matter at all because I never got to talk to Yossie about what she said. Now, I stand on stage again, waiting for my graduation from Hello! Project with the rest of the Elders Club including my beloved Yossie.

Even after all the years we were apart, my feelings haven't changed at all, meaning that I truly do love her but it still is impossible for us to be together. I still am scared to confront her about what she said on stage five years ago let alone ask her out or hang out with her. Ever since that concert, I haven't said a single, non0scripted word to Yossie and that greatly saddens me. If I thought, all those years ago, that Yossie didn't see me, I honestly didn't know what it is like to truly be invisible to someone that you love.

I knew it then when I first met her that I would always love her and that she would never return my feelings and I still know that now as, once again, I stand on stage with her and our friends-of-a-lifetime, trying to keep from crying.

Although I now love my husband and daughter, I would give them both up if I could be with Yossie, my true love, for the rest of my life, even only as friends. That is what true love does to a person when they are kept away from the one that they, well, love! But since Yossie, who no-longer is, never was, and never will be mine, is about to be lost to me for the rest of times as soon as this concert is over and still hasn't told me how she know of my secret, unrequited love.

I need to find out. When this concert is over, I will confront my love about the question that has been gnawing at me from the inside out for the last five years, "Do you love me like I love you?"

When both Yossie and I were about to leave we, quite literally, ran into each other and, before I could apologize, my question was out and couldn't be returned.

"What?" is what Yossie's usually serene face practically screamed. When I saw her expression, I immediately back pedaled and apologized. After I apologized, I ran from the building into my car and hurriedly drove home before my tears could obscure my vision.

'I can't believe I actually said that!' I mentally berated myself as I pulled my keys out of the ignition of my car after I got into the garage. 'Thankfully, I no longer have to worry about seeing her at work since we aren't in Hello! Project together anymore. The least she could have done is said something or stopped me or something, ANYTHING! I love her and she knows it but all she did was smile and say she knows or just look at me confused! Well, if I can't be with her at all, even as her friend, then no one can have me!'

With that final thought, Tsuji pulled a revolver from its' hiding place in the glove compartment and brought it to her head.

"AISHITERU YOSSIE!!!!!" she screamed aloud, one time, before pulling the trigger and ending the life that she could no longer stand to live without her only love by her side. Without the knowledge that her love was to be with her for all eternity, she decided to wait in a place where time would pass unnoticed by her until she was once again re-united with her love.


In the paper the next morning a headline read; Idol, mother, and wife Tsuji Nozomi shot self in head last night after the Elders Club graduation concert. The idol probably couldn't stand not being with all of her friends in Hello Project and decided to shoot her.

When Yossie read that in the paper she broke down into tears, thinking, 'but I thought she loved me! How could she do this to me! I loved her too! How couldn't she have figured that out, I thought it was the most obvious thing in the world?! Since she couldn't be with me in life, maybe we can be together in death, instead!'

During that train of thought, Yossie stood up, went into her bathroom and filled her tub to the brim with ice cold water. She climbed into the freezing water with tears streaming tracks down her face, not feeling the temperature of the water one bit; her thoughts only on being re-united with her love soon.

"How couldn't she have known it? I always loved her. I'm on my way, don't you worry," Yossie mumbled as she lowered herself into the water until her head was completely submerged. With a last push of her last breath, she screamed, "AISHTERU NON-CHAN!!!!!!!!!"


With that, the two unhappy lovers were separated in life, but then reunited in death with love when they reached whatever comes next. As they fell through time and space, Yossie and Nono revolved for the rest of eternity in the most loving embrace the universe has ever seen.

Sooooo? How was it? Lemme know how it turned out, please, by just posting a comment (and for those of you who don't know, even if you aren't a member on this site, you can still post a comment!) I was almost crying as I wrote the end of this so I won't be surprised if others are as well lol. Thanks for reading people!